leave her alone people

The Problem With Cringe Culture

From what I’ve seen, the phenomenon dubbed Cringe Culture is a paragon of insecurity, internalized misogyny, and self-loathing.

Let me elaborate a little here:  here on Tumblr (and in life in general, honestly), a lot of folks are very pre-occupied with what is or isn’t Cringey.  It’s a dynamic somewhat reminiscent of an eighth grade schoolyard, but that’s really not the issue here.  

What Tumblr folks dub Cringey are typically things that are enjoyed by young teens (in particular, young girls) exploring fandom and fan creativity for the first time.

Yes, these teens are frequently obnoxious, overzealous, and loud, but it’s an exciting time for kids:  we as adults may have comfortably settled into our interests, but for them it’s an avenue of unsupervised self-expression they may not have experienced before.  Moreover, they have little to no experience in moderating themselves, which is one of the reasons why I believe the act of mocking them to be a somewhat callous one.  

Are they occasionally annoying?  Subjectively, yes.  I frequently find young teens and tweens annoying, particularly when they’re being loud and obnoxious during my allotted writing time.  But I don’t shame them for it, on here or in real life, because I’m an adult and they are literally children .  

And most importantly, so are the people mocking them.

I’ll elaborate once again:  I’m nineteen.  Most of my friends, both on here and on my other blog, are fellow chill late teens and twenty-somethings.  And I’ve never seen any adult who’s secure in their own self-image do anything other than Do Their Own Thing and allow everyone else do the same.

In other words, I’ve been involved in fandom for a few years now, and almost everyone I’ve seen actively participating in cringe culture has turned out to be no older than seventeen or so themselves, and probably (consciously or otherwise) attempting to distance themselves from their “embarrassing” younger alter egos and feel more confident in their purported maturity. 

Because they probably did some Cringey things when they were fourteen, too:  maybe they drew manga OCs on DeviantArt with needlessly elaborate hair, ran a passionate SuperWhoLock blog, read Homestuck, wrote angsty poetry about turning into wolves, et cetera.  

Of course, the whole point here is that there is literally nothing wrong with any of these things:  they’re harmless examples of children exploring revenues of creativity for the first time, that we’ve been conditioned to find embarrassing.  

Now, I’m not going to pretend I didn’t have this phase myself:  I once got into an impassioned argument on Facebook with a bunch of One Direction fans when I was sixteen or so, in which I dismissed their obsession as being Stupid and Juvenile and proclaimed my favored Heavy Metal as being far superior.  

Now, I’m still not into One Direction in the slightest, but if I could go back in time I would probably smack my sixteen-year-old self upside the head and tell her to leave people alone and let them do their own thing.

Of course, a large part of my reasoning was also driven at the time by my unfortunate Not Like Other Girls phase, in which I wanted to distance myself from the silliness of my fellow teen girls as much as possible.  I may or may not have still been in my “I hate pink” phase, which I still shudder to think about to this day.

Which brings me to another one of Cringe Culture’s more problematic aspects:  it’s inherently a little misogynist, in that almost everyone who partakes in it is attempting to distance themselves from the interests of teenage girls.

Shows like Doctor Who, Steven Universe, Voltron, Supernatural, Yuri on Ice, and many others all have passionate and predominantly young female fanbases, and as such, people seem unwittingly inclined to see them as inherently vapid, annoying, or Cringey in a way that equally vocal male-dominated fandoms simply aren’t.  

Even being a Trekkie (Star Trek fan) was considered embarrassing when the fandom was predominantly female populated, although the means by which fanfiction and discourse was exchanged was via fan-run zines rather than Tumblr blogs.  Now that men are in on it, it’s considered one of the best fandoms there is.

More male populated fandoms such as Game of Thrones, the Walking Dead, the DC and Marvel cinematic universes, and Star Wars are just as impassioned, and have had just as many ideological issues in the past.  Yet are these things ever denigrated as being Cringy or annoying?  Not that I can recall.

Another one of my greatest issues with Cringe Culture is that it discourages passion:  I have never encountered a fandom, Cringey or otherwise, that hasn’t produced genuinely stunning works of art and fiction.  Moreover, I’ve never encountered a fandom that doesn’t have fans who have cited it as what saved them from depression or even suicide.  

So if someone’s passionate about something, even if it’s something of no value to you, it costs absolutely zero dollars to mind your own goddamn business and not taint their joy with your own insecurity, cynicism, and internalized self-loathing.  

Similarly, I can speak from experience when I say my interests and fandoms got me through the very worst period of my adolescence, and I’d be a significantly less happy person if I didn’t have still have them to fall back on.  Not everyone’s sole source of enjoyment and comfort in life comes from nihilistic memes.

So if you want to take a step towards fostering a more creative generation, take a step away from Cringe Culture.  Respect other people’s interests, and openly and unabashedly enjoy your own.  Question why you think certain interests are Cringey, and try to distance yourself from the mentality that you’re a better or cooler person for being less similar to young women.

And finally, try and forgive your fourteen-year-old self for whatever cringiness they may have been culpable of, and tell them that you love them anyway.

can people stop belitting what josephine does as an ambassador for the inquisition????

like binch, anyone can swing their dick around like cullen u think anyone can do what josephine does to keep all the stick-up-butt nobles happy???

but do u have any idea how hard it is to be diplomatic and keep so many different parties happy so the inquisition can have allies and support??? cmon man have any of u tried what its like to be diplomatic and smart about resolving matters peacefully?? do you know how many hoops you have to jump through? how many fine lines you must be careful not to cross?

paint heaven and anger the gods

so the trailer for miss hokusai advertised one type of movie, and then the actual movie was …. something else entirely. but the trailer gave me ideas, so here they are:

there is girl –


there is woman –


there is a young woman, an old girl, and she has the eyes of youth but the weight upon her shoulders is that of age. or perhaps it is the other way around. perhaps she has the eyes of age, but upon her shoulder is the weightlessness of youth, of ignorance.

there she is, whatever she is.

her name is kana.

she is the daughter of a famous painter, known as juro. he is a man larger than life, and he paints wonderful things. he takes what is ugly, and makes it beautiful. he paints an unhandsome woman as a goddess, a sneering merchant as a king, a dirty city as a glowing capitol. he leaves all he touches brighter than it was found.

kana is not like her father.

she is a painter, but she is not famous. she has a mother she doesn’t speak to, and younger sister she visits as much as she can. she has pushed them both aside to follow her father, to sit with him in dirty shacks putting ink to paper as she does her best to make beautiful things. she throws off the expectations of her gender, of her station, of anything and everything in her pursuit to be a master painter.

technique is easy. she completes half of her father’s painting while he drinks, while he whores, while he seduces lords and ladies, while he paints empty things for empty people, while he leaves her alone in their dirty shacks. she can do the detail work, has a steady hand and a sharp eye, but when it comes to the whole picture – it is left lacking.

“her work lacks your beauty,” an old man says, talking to her old father while she kneels in the corner, ink staining her hands, the floor, ink just – staining.

“of course it does,” her father says, offhand. “how can she paint what she does not know?”

kana never expected lack of knowledge to be her downfall.

so that night when her father is gone, she does not stay in to work. instead kana paints her face, wears a kimono that’s too small on her, and goes to the worst part of the city, to where the alleyways and walls are stained red by the glow of the lanterns.

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Draco Malfoy x Reader

Request: Draco x reader- cuddling in the common room and reader trying to make pansy jealous because she likes him and draco catches on and tries to show pansy that he likes reader and not her

Warnings: Language

A/N: Kinda short :)

Originally posted by fallingforamalfoy

Y/N takes a seat in her usual spot on the couch, right next to her boyfriend Draco. “How was your day, love?” The question makes her smile. Draco doesn’t ask anyone else questions like that – his sweet side is reserved for her.

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i want a reality show about the gods of olympus. like every week, there’s yet ANOTHER thing that zeus does and hera gets angry but cries in the talking part that i never know what to call. 

the camera people follow hades around and are expecting to be turned away, but he gets really excited and loves talking about his work. persephone, however, likes to play tricks on the camera people to get them to leave her alone. these often involve fake sacrifices. (hecate loves to help)

ares always shows up e x h a u s t e d and can barely stay awake while he talks about whatevers happening.

athena is often found in the library and the camera people cant talk to her there. (she’s always in the library and the camera people are trying to figure out what she’s studying so intensely) ((she’s not studying anything, she’s avoiding them))

and they can never find time with zeus to talk to him or ask him questions, but he’s almsot always seen in the background doing weird things??? and anytime one of the camera people yells “ZEUS!!!” to get his attention, he turns around and then disappears???? (but you can always find a white animal on set in various scenes) “WHERE IN THE HELL DID YOU GET A WHITE PHOENIX, JOAN?! WHY IS THAT EVEN HERE?!?!”

hermes is always talking over his shoulder because he’s always moving. being the messenger boy isn’t easy, especially with the traffic in the city. “gods, don’t even get me started on trying to fly. ONE TIME i was late and all of the sudden im this guy called superman and everyone wants me to save the city. ONE TIME!”

hestia works in a foster system and helps find homes for kids. she’s really good at it. but she a l w a y s talks about her kids when she’s at home and hera looks at the camera like “oh my gods kill me”

so every few months there’s this dinner they have, with all the 13 gods of olympus and they are FUN. this is really the only time you can see zeus not doing weird things in the background, but he loves to make jokes.

hades always brings persephone, which gets under everyones skin because “she’s not one of the thirteen” and hades always tells them “well the underworld chose her, yall chose me, so we’re both here.”


“athena no one gives a fuck, we don’t have power over the world anymore.”

“ares, be nice to your sister.”

“w h a t e v e r, mom”

( @shanastoryteller i thought you’d enjoy this)

anonymous asked:

Jojo is now saying people who believe Louis relationships are fake are 'accusing him of being a lying closet gay' and 'the same people believe in little green men from mars' and are 'very odd and sad'

this is honestly so vile but unsurprising, considering she’s taking money for contributing to exactly that image. also “a gay”? really? really?? shows how little integrity she has about basic lgbt stuff right there. why would she have any integrity when it comes to louis. 

Which One (NSFW)

Originally posted by anotherscarlettblog

dom!Bucky x sub!Natasha x dom!Reader

Warnings: Smut, dear god so much smut, Принцесса = princess, Мадам = madam, Котенок = kitten, сержант = sergeant

A/N: I’m just cranking out fucking stories today, jesus. This is such a long fucking fic and I’m not even remotely sorry about that. I might need to bathe in holy water after this…

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I love how Taylor tries to stay out of everything and people just continually drag her through the mud. If there is one thing I have learned from taylor is that actions speak louder than words. I hope she is sitting back enjoying this well deserved break and writing a kick butt record that is going to punch all the haters in throat. She continuously works hard, keeps her head down, let’s her music do the talking, and always shows love and kindness to others. People need to take a page out of her play book and learn some kindness. Okay rant over.

B99 Jealousy Headcanons

Shoutout to @sergeant-santiago for helping me out and to @iwantyoutochooseme for offering moral support. Love ya ladies!

Here are headcanons for the b99 characters getting jealous over people flirting with their significant others.

Jake Peralta:
• First of all, Jake is no Ross Gellar. He completely trusts Amy and knows that women aren’t sex machines and won’t just hop on any dick that shows them interest (*cough* They weren’t really on a break *cough*)
• Nevertheless, his blood boils whenever he sees a man undressing Amy with his eyes. That is NOT how you treat women!
• He knows Amy’s tough. She knows self defense and doesn’t need protection if a guy gets physical with her. Amy will put any guy in a headlock just like THAT if he makes a wrong move.
• Once Amy get’s the douchebag in a headlock she holds him still while Jake proceeds to lecture him about treating women with respect.
• After the lecture, Jake whips out his police badge and threatens to arrest him if he causes trouble again. He notifies the bartender to keep an eye on that man if he comes back so he won’t harass other women.
• If a man offers to buy Amy a drink, Jake becomes an over-the-top cocky cop. He flashes the badge and says “Did you know it’s illegal to flirt with a cop’s girlfriend? I could arrest you right now. Okay maybe that’s not true, but still, stop it.”
• Amy loves how cute Jake gets when he’s jealous. He doesn’t get angry, he doesn’t blame her for what she’s wearing, he doesn’t get controlling. He gives her space to handle it herself and steps in when he needs to.

Amy Santiago:
• Amy trusts Jake. She knows he only has eyes for her. She’s the only girl he ever sees. She finds it amusing when other girls flirt with him because of how freaking clueless he is.
• Whenever a girl offers to buy him a drink, he never sees it as flirting. He’s so oblivious. He always replies, “Actually, do you have any $1 bills for the vending machine?” or “No need for drinks, I need some quarters to refill the parking meter.” Amy chuckles and rolls her eyes at how adorable he is.
• If a girl can’t take the hint that Jake isn’t interested, Amy steps in. “Hi, I’m Amy. His girlfriend.” and shoots the girl a glare so intense that even Rosa would shiver (not really but you get the point) the girl backs off and Jake’s all “Wow she was really nice, she wanted to buy me a drink. You think I should’ve asked her to pay for my mozzarella sticks?”
• Amy facepalms. “Babe, she was flirting with you!” Jake’s eyes widen. “Ohhhhh, that makes more sense.” Amy pats him on his arm and kisses his cheek.

Rosa Diaz:
• You try to flirt with Gina? Ohhh boy. Ohhhhh booooyyyyyy. Don’t you dare. If you want to live to see tomorrow, don’t even look at her.
• It’s not that Rosa doesn’t trust Gina. She trusts Gina enough to tell her her address. Rosa’s just overprotective over the people she loves.
• Rosa’s keen on protecting her fellow women in general. Before Amy dated Jake and went on blind dates or met guys off Tinder, Rosa would secretly spy on them a few tables down. She was afraid the guy would be a creep or weirdo and slip a roofie in her drink. Rosa did that with all of her female friends. She doesn’t show it but she cares a lot about them.
• In fact, even when Rosa’s at a bar just chilling, her eagle eyes scan the crowd looking to see if any woman needs her help, if any guy is making unwanted advances to her.
• Anyways back to Gina. Flirt with her, you immediately get an angry Rosa grabbing you by the shoulders. “She’s not into you. Leave her alone.” That drives people away quick!
• Gina loves Jealous Rosa. Rosa’s so hot when she’s jealous. Well, she’s always hot, but you get the point.
• Gina loves teasing Rosa about how jealous she gets. “It’s not my fault that I’m desirable! I’m the best thing since sliced bread!” Then Gina tries to reassure her. “Gina Linetti is a lot of things. Smart, beautiful, amazing. Most of all, she’s loyal. I finally found a lifelong mate. Someone who’s as perfect as me. I’m not throwing you away for some peasant m.”
• That ends in Rosa and Gina running off to the nearest motel to go smoosh booties.

Gina Linetti:
• Okay first of all, Gina Linetti doesn’t get jealous. She gets “snarky”
• You think you’re good enough for Rosa Diaz? Your broke ass has the AUDACITY to flirt with her? Gina will DESTROY you!
• She’ll roast you. Not a light, marshmallows at the campfire roasts. A FLAMETHROWER roast. Straight up ARSON!
• “Who did your hair? Stevie Wonder?”
• “This ain’t the 90’s, chokers aren’t cool anyone. The only use for that is choking yourself.”
• “Did you steal that outfit from a referee?”
• “You’re so hairy that bigfoot tries to prove your existence!”
• You run away crying to your mommy. Rosa asks Gina “Was that really necessary?” Gina shrugs, “You’re my boo thang. Nobody gets to look at you like a hot piece of meat on a grill except me!” Once again, they run off a motel to smoosh booties.

Terry Jeffords:
• Like Jake, Terry respects women. He knows Sharon’s equipped with pepper spray and a pocket knife and can take care of herself. But he can’t help getting angry when people look at his wife like she’s a piece of meat.
• Anyone stares at Sharon, he shoots them a glare. If that doesn’t work, he flexes. To show the man exactly what he’s messing with. That usually gets him to back off.
• Sharon rolls her eyes whenever Terry tries to scare off them but she lowkey likes that he cares so much about her.
• Ohoooo but just WAIT until boys start flirting with Cagney or Lacy. They gonna have the scariest father-in-law ever!

Charles Boyle:
• Okay we’ve all seen how jealous Charles gets over Jake. It’s no different with Genevieve.
• He gets these sad puppy-dog eyes and Genevieve has to constantly reassure him that she only has eyes for him.
• She kisses him all over his face and he kisses back which leads to nasty stuff that only a Boyle would be turned on by

Captain Holt:
• Captain Holt don’t feel much emotion. He’s really straightforward.
• A woman flirts with Kevin? Holt flatly informs her “He is gay and my husband. You’re embarrassing yourself.”
• If a man flirts with Kevin, Holt simply says, “Can’t you tell he’s married by the ring on his finger? You have terrible tactical skills.”
• Same goes for Kevin when someone flirts with Holt
• It ends with them chuckling over how they’re both studs that get all the men and women that they want.
• Then they bone

• Cheddar growls at the guests whenever he sees anyone standing near Holt or Kevin
• He doesn’t want anyone near his daddies. He demands constant bellyrubs from them
• Cheddar grows attached to Jake cuz Jake for some reason always smells like steak. He won’t let Amy go near Jake because he wants Jake all to himself.
• Gina always gives the best belly rubs. Cheddar always growls any one else who comes near her.
• Yes, I did include Cheddar in this. He’s just as important to the show as everyone else. Deal with it.

Miscellaneous Hermione FFs List

I decided to make this list for my own personal reference as well as for anyone who is looking for some interesting Hermione-pairing fanfics. I suck at writing summaries and it’s been a while since I’ve read some of these stories so I apologize in advance for any discrepancies! Without further due, here are some memorable fanfics I’ve read so far in no particular order:

Dramione (Draco x Hermione)

A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy- Countess of Abe. Complete. Genre: Romance/Drama. Rated M: Sexual situations. Word Count: 136,998 (25 chapters).

Now in their 20′s, some of Hogwart’s former students have gotten married and have kids, including Draco Malfoy. Except he was an idiot who got forced into a shotgun wedding and the only good that came out of it was his son, Zane. Now that he’s finally divorced, he’s back on the market as a wealthy, successful, and single dad but his gold-digging ex-wife has a plan to take Zane away from him. Draco is left with no choice but to turn to a woman who he had scorned and bullied throughout his school years to help save his family. Hermione seems to think she can help them and come out unscathed, but she has no idea how much her life was about to change the more she got involved with the “hottie” daddy. 

The Deadline - Lena Phoria. Complete. Genre: Romance/Drama. Rated M: Smutastic. Word Count: 329,548 (39 chapters). 

By sheer coincidence or stroke of fate, Draco and Hermione are reunited many years after graduation, at the very same graduation ceremony of their respective children. Maybe it’s because they’re both miserable in their marriages or maybe all the repressed sexual tension have finally come bursting out, now that they’re no longer confined by the rules and prejudices of Hogwarts, but the two find themselves involved in a scandalous affair. How will they hide their naughty secret from everyone, especially when what started out as a one night stand evolves into something so much more? 

Almost Perfect, Almost Yours - BelleOfSummer. Complete. Genre: Romance. Rate M: Violence/Smut/Angst. Word Count: 237,158 (50 chapters). 

Hermione had been raised as a perfect Pureblood princess, believing she belonged to one of the oldest Pureblood families around, the Puceys. It was because of her bloodline that she was able to meet a mischievous but charming boy from another old and prestigious Pureblood family named Draco Malfoy. Their meeting and budding romance all seemed like it was out of a fairy tale, except when one day she found out the shattering truth of her past. They had promised to love each other, no matter what, but will Draco be able to keep his promise after finding out that Hermione wasn’t as pure as he thought? How important will blood purity be to to him as he succumbs to the darkness of serving under Lord Voldemort? 

The Mind Trap - LainellaFay. Complete. Genre: Romance/Angst/Hurt&Comfort. Rated T: I CRIED. Word Count:  4,636 (One-shot). 

Hermione’s a busy person, working as a healer in St. Mungo. So why does she keep bumping into Draco Malfoy here? That prat. He can’t seem to stop annoying her even when they’re out of school. And who is this blond haired, greyed eye man who keeps visiting her? Why does he seem so sad? Merlin, all these people need to leave her alone. Can’t they see that she’s busy? Busy, busy, busy….

Brokeninadaze22. Complete. Genre: Angst/Romance. Rated M: PTSD, angsty af. Word Count: 367,993 (36 chapters).

After the war had ended, Hermione disappeared and only to quietly reappear years later - completely broken. Her closest friends felt abandoned by her and now shun her, not understanding the excruciating loss she had gone through. Ironically, she finds support from former enemies, including one (albeit reluctant) Draco Malfoy. Draco was never one especially equipped to deal with strong and deep emotions, let alone being a source of comfort to another. But as Draco delves into Hermione’s past, he discovers that it isn’t just she who needed that special someone to take the pain away. 

Love In A Time Of The Zombie Apocalypse - Rizzler. Ongoing. Genre: Horror/Romance. Rated M: Violence/Gore/Mild Smut. Word Count: 241,300 (65 chapters). 

After the fall of Voldemort, an even bigger threat to humanity emerges - the dead coming to life and eating the living. Hermione Granger, one of the crucial members in a rag tag group of surviving specialists, finds herself battling old prejudices as she is forced to work with convicted terrorist and scientific genius, Draco Malfoy, to find a cure. As time is running out and the pressure is on, the two find their new relationship put to the test as they encounter threats in the new world that are even more dangerous than the undead. 

Five Days - RavieSnake. Complete. Genre: Drama/Suspense/Romance. Rated M: Graphic depictions of injuries/MIGHT MAKE U CRY CUZ I DID. Word Count: 32,001 (14 chapters). 

Draco and Hermione find themselves trapped in a crevice of a cliff and no one knows they’re there. Not only do the two have to fight the elements to survive for as long as they can, but they end up fighting past hurts as they open up to each other, just when it seems like they won’t have much time left on this planet anyways. It’s funny how sometimes you only realize how important someone is to you when you’re about to lose them. 

Claiming Hermione - ilke. Ongoing/Hiatus/Abandoned?. Genre: Romance/Angst. Rated M: Graphic smut but oh so good. Word Count:  118,833 (33 chapters).

Sometimes all it takes is one gesture of kindness, to change someone’s life. For Draco, it was when the least suspecting person in all of Hogwarts lent him a shoulder to cry upon after finding out his parent’s tragic fate. For Hermione, it seemed like it was no big deal, after all she was used to being a pillar of support for anyone who needed it, even for blond snarky jerks like Draco. She didn’t expect anything in return, so how was she to know her brief moment with Draco would open the door to something so sinful but so right?

Tomione (Tom Riddle x Hermione)

Somewhere In Time - Serpent In Red. Complete. Genre: Romance/Adventure. Rated M: Violence/implied sexy times. Word Count:  360,029 (63 chapters).

They were brawling with Draco Malfoy one minute and the next, they found themselves on top of the young Dark Lord, literally. As Hermione, Harry, Ginny, and Draco scramble to find out how and why they were sent back into time, they must also try to avoid the attention of the ever observant Tom Riddle. This proves to be a little difficult as he quickly becomes obsessed with Hermione after realizing he particularly liked her brand of fire. As the group learn to get over their past differences and come closer to reaching a way to return home, Tom makes it clear that no one is going to take away his little lioness - not Dumbledore, not Grindelwald, not Death, not even time itself.

Ultima Ratio - Winterblume. Complete. Genre: Romance/Angst/Hurt&Comfort. Rated M: Abusive relationship/violence/Tom is a dick here. Word Count:  772,571 (54 chapters). 

After losing her best friends to Voldemort and his Death Eaters, Hermione accidentally sends herself back into time where she meets the teenage Voldemort, Tom Riddle. She had planned to enroll into Hogwarts in the mean time to research how to send herself back to the present, not to become Tom’s object of rapt interest. The plan falls apart as her gentle heart could not stand by and watch as the young Dark Lord is unfairly punished and tortured, becoming his savior and opening herself up to his manipulations. To Tom, she was seemingly the perfect match to his own until he finds out her secret. Violence, hurt, and angst ensues but the looming threat of Grindelwald is the final catalyst that has them questioning what truly matters, ultimately. 

His PersephoneReneehart. Ongoing. Genre: Romance/Adventure. Rated M: Mild smut/some violence. Word Count: 190,966 (26 chapters). 

The outcome in the war against Voldemort is looking bleak and Dumbledore is desperate for a way to turn the tides. He convinces Hermione to go on a mission back into time to infiltrate his group of followers and sabotage him before he can rise to power. When Hermione finally meets Tom Riddle, she finds it increasingly difficult to focus between her mission and losing control to her desires. On the other hand, Tom seamlessly incorporates his newfound, worthy companion into his plans for world domination. But how long will she be the Queen to his King before she’s able to ruin him from the inside out? Or will he find out his Queen is actually his downfall in disguise? 

Muderer’s Mazeibuzoo. Ongoing. Genre: Horror/Angst. Rated M: GORE GALORE. Word Count: 65,276 (13 chapters). 

There’s a serial killer on the loose in London that would make even Hannibal Lecter proud. Special Agent Hermione is assigned to piece together the clues the maniacal genius left behind. Meanwhile her partner is none other than Draco Malfoy - a handsome, charming, but also pain in the ass Intelligence Officer. Together, they must work against the clock to track down and stop the killer before he commits his next heinous murder. Hermione will become entangled in a mad man’s mind as she learns what it means to be human.  

Nothing SpecialWinterblume. Complete. Genre: Tragedy. Rated M: Depressing af, I cried again. Word Count: 1,373 (One-shot).

Tom Riddle didn’t expect to get involved with her to this extent. And things weren’t supposed to turn out the way it did. But it did and there’s nothing that can change it. Does he regret what happened? Maybe, maybe not. After all, she wasn’t supposed to be anything special to him.

School DaysMeowmers. Complete. Genre: Romance/Friendship. Rated M: Tom is a lil scary kid. Word Count: 133,702 (14 chapters).

Hermione’s personality is one of her strongest points but it has also made it difficult for her to make friends. One day she encounters an older, mysterious and intimidating boy named Tom and the two develop a strange friendship. Their relationship changes over time but one thing remains the same – Tom’s protectiveness over the sole person he cares about in this world. As his ambitions grow, so does his enemies and they will learn the hard way not to mess with his only true friend.

MafiosoMeowmers. Complete. Genre: Romance/Drama. Rated M: May or may not involve getting nasty in public. Word Count: 12,121 (One-shot).

Hermione Granger is a law student working part time in one of New York’s biggest firms as a secretary for its mysterious and intelligent CEO, Tom Riddle. One night while working late she discovers a huge secret her boss has been hiding from his employees, putting her in incredible danger. On top of that, she has a very important wedding to attend soon – her ex’s to be exact – and she’s going alone. Maybe she and Tom can find a solution to each other’s dilemma that would be to each other’s mutual benefit, along with some other mutually beneficial fun times.  

DamnedMeowmers. Complete. Genre: Horror/Romance. Rated M: Grotesque scenes. Word Count: 38,573 (4 chapters).  

Hermione had lost her parents and was trying to move on with her life with the help of her best friends Harry and Ron. When they move into her old house, they find an old Ouija board and decide to have a little bit of fun to take their minds off of things. Since then she has noticed strange occurrences happening within her home that have become increasingly terrifying. She had been looking for a sweet dream to cure her depression and never would have thought it instead would come in the form of a beautiful nightmare.

Nagini Ate Your Homeworkbloomsburry. Complete. Genre: Horror/Romance. Rated M: GRAPHIC SMUT/dub-con. Word Count: 4,564 (One-shot). 

Hermione Granger has always been a feisty girl with a hard head for competition. She battled with everyone – her friends, her classmates, even her own professor, Tom Riddle. One day she gets asked to stay behind in class because Professor Riddle’s pet snake had apparently eaten her homework and as her smart mouth gears up to give him a chewing, he quickly finds another way to preoccupy it.  

Voldemione (Voldemort x Hermione)

Empathetic SeductionNerysDax. Complete. Genre: Romance. Rated M: Fight/makeup smex?. Word Count: 16,187 (One-shot).  

Voldemort has won the war and now rules over the wizarding world. But all hope is not lost, as Hermione goes undercover as Madame Cleo, the owner of a brothel where she can make any and all fantasies come true. In reality, her prostitutes work as spies to gather insider information from Death Eaters to use in their secret resistance movement. One day, she receives a call from her employee, panicking over the surprise appearance of the Dark Lord at her brothel. Apparently, Bellatrix Lestrange’s recent visit to her brothel did not amuse him and he offers her a challenge she could not refuse, or else. Who will truly win in this game of deceit, wit, power, and seduction?

Theomione (Theodore Nott x Hermione)

Tying The Nott ShayaLonnie. Ongoing. Genre: Romance/Drama. Rated M: Sexual situations/Theo is so hot damn. Word Count: 113,781 (37 chapters). 

After the war Hermione had found success as an employee of the Ministry and who else would be her annoying coworker but Draco Malfoy. Indeed, it seemed like the future they had hope for post-war had come true when former house rivals were now all working adults and surprisingly, good friends. Whereas everyone seemed to have found their place in the new world along with their soul mates, Hermione had yet to find success in the romance department. That is, until Draco came to her with a vital problem – his friend and former Death Eater, Theodore Nott, was dying and only she could save him by marrying him.

Thormione (Thorfinn Rowle x Hermione)

A Promise UnspokenKittenshift17. Ongoing. Genre: Romance/Drama/Angst. Rated M: No full blown sex but some sexual situations/Hermione is underage (for now). Word Count: 188,069 (32 chapters). 

Goody two shoes Hermione had gotten herself into trouble with a 7th year Slytherin boy named Thorfinn Rowle. Poor girl, she had no idea that the Viking hunk of a bad boy never lets anyone mess with him and get away with it. Unfortunately for Thorfinn, he hadn’t count on becoming increasingly fond of the fiery little lioness but he had already put his revenge into action. Now he has find a way to deal with his mistakes as well as keep them hidden from her, for he would die if she found out, quite literally.

Harass me while I'm waiting for the train? Enjoy getting escorted out in cuffs.

I take Amtrak a lot due to the sheer convenience and cost. Sometimes it gets delayed a couple hours but I’m never usually in a hurry so I don’t care. Anyway, the train station is a joint Amtrak and Greyhound station with a couple places to get food, so it’s not bad when I get hit with a two hour delay like I did Friday.

I show up forty minutes prior to scheduled departure, only to find that I’m delayed. Okay, I grab a coffee and decide to read my book. As I’m walking to the waiting area for the train, I see a woman and her toddler. The woman is chatting up another woman while not watching her kid. I nearly run her over when she darts out in front of me and have to try really hard not to spill scalding coffee on her. Whatever, I go on my way. About an hour later, same woman comes over to the train waiting area and sits down immediately next to me. Like moves my bag to the floor. I politely ask her not to move my things and that I would really prefer to have my bag on the seat next to me (the waiting area has many empty seats at this point), and I move to the benches across from where I was, again setting my bag on the seat next to me. She probably thought I was a bitch but I have pretty severe social anxiety around strangers. So she starts chatting with me about my purse and my outfit and makeup, just general small talk, which makes me really uncomfortable. At that point, during a lull in the conversation, I put in headphones and start reading my book again. She didn’t get the hint. She then comes over and taps me on the knee (can you say awkward?) and starts asking me for cash to buy a train ticket so she can go get her kids before they get taken away. She goes into this teary eyed rant, while neglecting her toddler who ends up falling down the stairs up to the platform, about how she’s a good mom and people think she’s a junkie trying to score drugs (meth teeth certainly indicated that was the case), and that her kids are all she has. I tell her I don’t have any cash but would be happy to place the ticket on my debit card and email it to her. She said that won’t do as she needs to have a hard copy of the ticket since she doesn’t have a phone (yet I saw her with one at the bus terminal) and she asks me to get cash out for her to purchase the ticket. At that point I tell her I’m not comfortable with that and she starts calling me a racist and a cunt bitch who only cares about herself.

I went up to the platform (the train was only ten mins out at this point) and called Amtrak on her. She followed me up to continue her tirade. Security comes up, tries to reason with her and tell her she can’t panhandle, she won’t stop, they call the cops, they cuff her and take her kid to CPS. Next time maybe she will leave people alone.

do you ever think about Professor Malkin, Head of Slytherin, standing up and screaming his lungs out while furiously clapping when the sorting hat yells out “Hufflepuff” for his youngest daughter, while said daughter turns red and hisses back, “PA you’re embarrassing me sit down!!!!!” but she’s pretty stoked that she’s in the same house as her Dad and that Pa is so on board with this.