For most of my life I’ve dealt with self hatred. It had gotten so bad that I’ve resorted in cutting for awhile. I found it extremely difficult to look in the mirror everyday without insulting myself. Often I couldn’t comprehend why I felt this way. A daily question stuck to me like glue,”what had I done to feel like shit? What am I doing wrong?”.. It wasn’t until I began seeing a counselor that I started to realize all the negative thoughts I felt towards myself was BULLSHIT! That I’m not fat, ugly, stupid, disgusting, worthless, dead weight, etc. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am worth it. My appearance doesn’t define my worth. I am fucking amazing yo haha. I’ve still got a lot of work to do on my self confidence, but I’m getting there. Oh, & I look fucking flawless in this picture. Ain’t a damn thing anyone can say to change that. Peace & love❤💛💚
Dean does not expect to walk into an arts and crafts fair in his living room on Thursday. He had expected to get off work, come home and hang out with his roommates, and make dinner before his evening class. But no, that is apparently not in the cards today because…well, he doesn’t know why. Probably should get on that.
“What the hell?” Dean asks no one in particular. The sofa and chairs have been pushed to the edges of the room and the kitchen table and a card table have been pulled in and sit lined with what looks like cut up garbage bags as people sit around them and ignore Dean. “Anyone gonna fill me in?” he says a bit louder.
“Hey, Dean! We were worried you wouldn’t make the party!” Charlie chirps. Jumping up from her work station, she moves to hug him but stops herself, thankfully, since she’s wearing rubber gloves covered in…dye? And are those…white cotton shirts in a pile on the sofa?
“The…tie dye party?”
Amazingly, he hears Cas sigh from all the way across the room. “It’s been on the house google calendar for two weeks, Dean,” Cas says without looking up from his extremely interesting task of precisely folding a plain tee. Dean rolls his eye.
“Oh you mean the calendar you guys are obsessed with that I never look at,” Dean grouses.
“I told you I can set it up to send notifications on your phone,” Charlie shoots back. “It’s not our fault you’re so…analog.”
Cas’s friend Meg snickers from where she sits beside him. They’re next to another gal with dark hair who Dean’s seen hanging out with Cas before a few time but has never actually talked to him. Hannah maybe? He figured her for a girlfriend at one point, then he met Meg and revised. Then he got to know Meg and just…started suffering.
“Okay, I’ll try this again…” Dean says, tearing his eyes away from Cas’s tousled hair. “Why is it the summer of love in our living room?”
“We’re all making shirts for pride this weekend!” Charlie explains excitedly.
“P-pride?” Dean echoes, his brain having been reduced to that of a parrot. “As in the…the gay kind?”
“Well, technically the whole month of June is pride month,” Charlie explains helpfully. “Which you would know if you checked the google calendar. But this is for the parade on Sunday. We’re getting our flag on.”
“Sunday?” Dean’s stomach drops. “Sunday is father’s day.”
Charlie raises an eyebrow and Dean opens his mouth to explain, or more like ask if that means Charlie (and apparently everyone they know?) is going to be running around the house pride-ing it up on the one day his dad is visiting. And if he has to participate cause…well. Uncomfortable reasons. He got in enough trouble for opting into summer classes (like most of his geek friends) and staying in town in their rented house right by campus. This might by a bridge too far.