*makes a post complaining about how everyone writes Natsu OOC*
“But, Alisha! You don’t write him entirely in character either!”
You’re right! But there’s a difference, you see!
There are four (4) five (5) types of Natsu(s?) popular in fanfiction!
1) (My personal least favorite) Fuckboi player!Natsu. Probably plays football. Is an asshole. Might bully Lucy because I guess that’s attractive in a man. Is failing math class and/or English and Lucy may or may not tutor him for whatever reason. Dates a different girl every week. Lucy magically changes his ways.
Sometimes included, but not required:
Lisanna being a jealous bitch because???
Sting and/or Rogue’s characterization being butchered and them attacking/assaulting Lucy, thus making Natsu realize how much he cares about Lucy.
Lucy being uncomfortable going to sport’s games but her friends (namely Erza and Levy) dragging her to one anyway. Bonus points if something terrible happens at the game and Lucy immediately forgives her friends.
2) The Natsu that’s not smart enough to spell “cabbage.” Doesn’t know what sex is, thus introducing a weird subplot where someone (typically Lucy or Gray) must explain it to him. This is more uncomfortable to the reader than it is for the characters. Usually over-exaggerates the dragon slayers’ dragoness. Lucy is repeatedly emotionally hurt in these fics because the reader has made Natsu too stupid to understand what feelings are.
Sometimes included, but not required:
Weird dragonesque Natsu smut. Probably kinky. May be a dragon mating season fic.
Lisanna is evil and somehow Lucy ends up leaving the guild (may or may not become a dragon slayer).
If written in canonverse, there will be a mission that Natsu botches. Lucy will probably be injured in some way, and Natsu will realize he loves her, then abandon her because he’s ashamed of hurting her. Bonus points for every chapter this is drawn out.
3) The Natsu that is weirdly snarky and mean spirited. I think the writers are trying to make things sound teasing, but he comes off as an utter dick. Probably a high school!AU. Can be meshed with Natsu #1 to create the biggest douche you will ever see. Is probably sexist and speaks really badly about women, but this is excused because his mother abandoned him as a child.
Sometimes included, but not required:
Says something insensitive to Lucy. She cries and is deeply hurt. He never apologizes for this because ??? Potatoes, I guess.
If in canonverse, Happy is also probably super mean to Lucy, despite Happy being the most upset about F!Lucy’s death (though, he was roughly on par with how upset Natsu was.).
4) (the Natsu I try to write) This is the Natsu that would exist in canon if Mashima actually gave him character development. Likely pretty close to how he is in canon, though a little more suave and mature. Smarter than the average bear fic Natsu. Still playful and adventurous. Probably still takes Lucy on some kind of adventure. May be a bit rough around the edges.
5) (a la @snogfairy) Dream Boy Natsu. A fantasy man that is perfect in every imaginable way. Is nothing like the actual Natsu. Romantic™. Sophisticated™. An intellectual Man™. Probably reads minds. A fourteen year old girl’s wet dream. Might be a nice guy™.
Sometimes included, but not required:
Lucy is a mega blushing virgin. When asked what’s in a guys pants she answers “carrots.” Has no friends.
Natsu probably has some hidden piano playing skill. Or, like, the harp or something else that’s sophisticated.
1. Favorite team? 2. Least favorite team? 3. Second-favorite team? 4. Favorite rivalry? 5. Any rivalries in your family? 6. Best-looking uniforms/logo? 7. Favorite goal horn/song? 8. What hockey merch do you own? 9. Favorite hockey memory? 10. Olympic hockey or NHL hockey? 11. Which Olympic team do you root for?
12. Which legends do you wish you could have grown up watching? 13. When/how did you first get into hockey? 14. Favorite current player(s)? 15. Favorite players of all time? 16. Least favorite player(s)? 17. Least favorite player(s) on your team? 18. Favorite hockey movie? 19. If you could have any jersey, which team and player would you choose? 20. Favorite hockey city?
me, before knowing paul was going to be on bb19: i definitely don’t like cody. can’t wait for him to be first boot!
cody: My least favorite player is Paul from last season with the beard. The guy is loud just to be loud. He would’ve been out immediately if I was in the house. I don’t think I could’ve lived with the guy.
me, now that there’s a strong possibility of paul being on bb19: i sure LOVE king cody! can’t wait for him to win the first hoh and take out the betas!
Requested by Anon: Can you write an imagine where you are the new physical therapist of the Penguins and help Geno with his rehab? It can be OTP-like or BROTP-like :) Thanks in advance
A/N: Hello! So, I’m going to rant a little about this. This is such a good idea, I love it; but I feel like it would have been weird and unnatural to write about a relationship that it’s too new to actually be a friendship or a romantic relationship. But I love the idea, and I’d love to make a series out of it, not only with Geno but with the rest of the team as well… a PT diaries or something like that. Thoughts?
I reread the medical report, making sure I
haven’t missed anything. It is my first day at the job and I don’t want to mess
it up. This is the opportunity of a lifetime and I want to give a great first
My name is (y/n) and I’m the new physical therapist
of the Pittsburgh Penguins. I’ve been a Penguins fan since I was a baby, and to
be part of the organization and getting to interact with the players makes me
want to pinch myself to make sure this is real.
There is a soft knock on my new office’s door
and the door opens, my boss and a tall figure getting inside the still really
“Hello (y/n)” Dr. Wright, head of the
medical stuff, says and I give him a smile, “how are you doing?”
“So far so good.” I answer, looking at the man
standing behind him.
I have been reading his file for the last
hour and it takes all I have for me not to get on my feet and ask him to take a
selfie with me.
“I’m glad to hear that.” my boss gives me a
nod before turning around, “I’d like to introduce you to Evgeni Malkin. He is
going to be your first patient.”
I stand up and walk around my desk and
standing before the men, shaking Evgeni’s hand. He is way taller than I am, so
I need to tilt my head slightly to look at his face.
“I’ve been reading your file.” I inform
them and Dr. Wright looks pleased, “you have a couple torn tendons in your knee.”
“How painful is it going to be?” Evgeni
“I’m pretty sure you are in a lot of pain
already…” I say, grabbing the folder from my desk and looking at the x rays and
diagnose, “I think you are going to need at least a week of therapy before even
thinking about skate again, maybe more”
Both men take a moment to think about what
I’ve said before Evgeni looks at me again.
“When do we start?” he is impatient to
start his recovery and I don’t blame him.
“Right now, if you are ready” I suggest and
he gives me a quick nod.
“I’ll go change” and he pretty runs out of
I look at door for a second, before turning
my face to my boss. He is smiling and I can’t make up why.
“First day. Don’t let him give you too much
crap” he advices and I chuckle, “he is a big fish in the locker room, if he
respects you the whole team will”
“Thanks for the advice” I say to him,
grabbing my new Penguins hoodie and putting it on, ready to head to the gym
where I’m going to be working for a long, long time, I hope.
“It’s a pleasure to have you here, (y/n)”
Dr. Wright says as a goodbye and we both walk away.
I’m getting the things ready when Evgeni
walks in, wearing a pair of workout shorts and a hoodie. His knee is swollen
and bruised and I frown.
“It look pretty nasty” he just shrugs.
I nod in agreement, lifting a balance board
and carrying it to the center of the room. The board has what it looks like a
rubber ball cut in half attached to the bottom and Evgeni looks at it.
“I want to evaluate how bad is your pain
before getting a rehab plan ready for you” I explain to him, “and I think that
massages and maybe acupuncture will be needed”
“Sounds good” he just answers.
We start working. It is easy to work with
him, he does exactly what I tell him and doesn’t complain at all when I make
him repeat something.
“How bad is the pain?” I ask him for the
hundredth time while he is standing on the balance board, one of his hands on
“What’s the scale?” he wonders and I laugh.
“One to ten, how bad?”
“A solid eight” he says and I raise my
eyebrow, he is in a lot of pain and he is not even wincing.
“It doesn’t look like you are hurting that
much” I comment and he smirks.
“I am Russian. We are real men in Russia” he
states and I look at him, trying to figure out if he is kidding or not. He
“I’ll keep that in mind” I joke and he
smiles, “hop down”
He steps down and I shake my head.
“HOP down” I emphasize ‘hop’.
“Just a small one” and I push him back on
top of the board, his hand quick to grip my arm so he doesn’t lose his balance,
“c’mon, big boy”
He gives me a dirty look before hopping
down, wincing when he lands.
“Ouch” he says before he can hold it and I
write it on my notes.
“Alright, we are done for today. Sit down,
let’s ice your knee” I pretty much push him down, making him sit on the floor.
I walk to the small fridge/freezer and grab
a pack of ice and two bottles of water, handing one of them to Evgeni before
wrapping the ice on a towel and carefully holding it against the back of his
“Alright, it’s your time now” he says and I
give him an interrogative look, “The team expects me to give them a full report
“Is that right?” I roll my eyes and he
“It’s my duty as alternate” and I can’t
help it but to laugh, “ready?”
“Do I have another choice?” and he shakes
his head, “go ahead then”
I grew up with hockey like any other sport, casually and only really knowing/caring about my home team & only interacting with my fellow home team fans, but now I'm seeing there's like this whole tumblr fandom to the nhl and I was wondering what are like the reputations of the teams??? And obvi everyone has their own biases based on their faves but I was just curious (bc I love hearing about all of the reputations and drama and gossip that is 100% alive in the sports world)
um okay i really love this ask but i’m also Nervous to answer it bc obviously my views are gonna be based on my teams and tbh i don’t a ton about some of the teams. so let me just preface this by saying that i don’t intend to shit on anyone’s team. pls don’t come yell at me. i love y’all. i’m gonna put this under a read more bc it’s gonna be long af. this isn’t so much drama as it is just a primer on the teams bc i’m not looking to start drama.
Can I ask how you would order routes from least to most angst?
Eeeee!~ I’ve been waiting for this question! I think the order will surprise some people… Keep in mind your mileage may vary, but from my perspective as the writer, from least to most, it’s:
Teiran - Pretty angsty toward the end, but I’m rating it lowest since Teiran is (for the moment) the least favorite character among players. How much angst you get out of his route is directly tied to how much empathy you feel with him by the end.
Emry - Only SLIGHTLY angstier than Teiran’s route, I think. The sad elements are interwoven more frequently throughout the story, but it really depends on how much you personally sympathize with him when all the cards are laid out.
Noah - Surprising, no? ;) Probably not TOO much worse than the other two, but again, I’m taking into account how well-liked he is at the moment.
Desmond - Poor Des… Or not. Depends where you land on his conflict, but I think most players will get some feels from his route, regardless of how much you like him. :)
So, I was gonna ask you about the reds, but when I went to do it it told me to ask you about Aaron Judge's tooth gap. So I'm just gonna ask you about both. Who is your least favorite Reds player and why? And, I guess, do you think Aaron ever gets chunks of food stuck in his gap and he's always like "not again!" ?
My least favorite Red is Blake Wood because he can’t pitch. I saw a tweet on Saturday night: “if you can’t use him with a 7 run lead then why is he on the roster?” Game was 11-4 and he came up, let 4 runners on, all scored. Not sure why Price is still using him at this point.
And as someone that used to have a large tooth gap, yes. He absolutely does that. But the more important question is, how many quarters can he fit in between his teeth? The lady sitting behind me at church today said that she used to fit 3 in hers. That sounds large, but he is a fairly large man too.