learning to draw again is hard


Hairstyles and realizations

Introduction: Hi! I’m Annie, I recently graduated as valedictorian of a class of almost 700, and I’m about to be a freshman at Johns Hopkins (go blue jays!!). High school was some of the best and worst moments of my life, and looking back, there are so many things that I wish I’d done and things that made me successful, so I wanted to share them! Of course, disclaimer, these tips may not apply to everyone!

(These tips generally apply to all classes, but if you have a specific subject you want tips on, I’ve taken these AP courses: european history, world history, us gov’t, macroeconomics, lang, lit, calc ab, chemistry, physics 1, physics c, environmental science, art: drawing, biology, human geography, chinese, and art history. Feel free to message me!)

College applications are a crapshoot- I can’t begin to tell you the number of incredible, brilliant people with extraordinary, international level achievements that got denied at top schools in favor of those lacking those accomplishments. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean those who got in don’t have qualities that earned them a spot, it just speaks to the unpredictable nature of the college application process. When deans of admission at top schools openly say they could reject all admitted students and build the same exemplary class from the waitlist, or that they have enough qualified applicants to fill 3 or 4 classes with, there’s a certain amount of luck involved. Therefore I urge all rising seniors to go into this process realizing that the odds are not in your favor. I went into the process with too much blind hope, too confident in my ability to be that lucky 1 in 10 (or less) that would gain admission, and I was sorely disappointed. So that leads me to my next tip…

Don’t do things just for your college application- Those slim acceptance rates are the exact reason I urge you not to join things solely for how good they look on a college application. It seems counterintuitive; wouldn’t they give you a better chance of acceptance? However, my point is not to dissuade you from extracurriculars, but rather to commit to ones that genuinely make you happy. As I wrote above, the process is so competitive that even international achievements may mean rejection, so don’t waste your high school experience by dedicating so much time and effort to something that you feel obligated to do.

Try everything your freshman and sophomore year- My biggest regret is not joining clubs where my passions lie simply because I was too lazy or scared of things like public speaking my freshman year. It’s much more intimidating to join as upperclassmen, and you may not be able to participate at all the levels/in all the ways people who have dedicated 3-4 years can. Even if you don’t think its for you (like debate for me because of my fear of public speaking), I urge you to expand your horizons and push yourself out of your comfort zone. Many clubs give you great opportunities to build leadership, public speaking, etc. skills and to find your passions.

Know both sides of the flashcard- I learned this tip from my organic chemistry class, and I’d never though about how useful it is. For example, if you’re memorizing polyatomic ions, it’s extremely important that you know both the formula and the name, as either version may show up on the exam. Not doing this also makes the weaknesses in your memorization evident- whenever I study vocab, I tend to glance at the side with the term and only memorize the definition. This meant that when I was given only the definitions, I couldn’t remember the word they defined, because I was so used to being given the vocab word and responding with the definition. 

The first lecture of the unit is one of the most important for STEM classes- I know the beginning of the unit can often seem like the perfect time to tune out, as it goes over information you’ve previously learned or the easiest material of the topic, but it often forms the foundation for everything else in the unit. For example, the first lecture on a stoichiometry unit will probably teach you dimensional analysis, a skill integral to calculating molecular or empirical formulas, moles or grams of a substance, etc. 

Buy/sell books secondhand- Everyone knows how expensive college textbooks are, but between SAT and AP prep books, and books for English, high school books can cost quite a bit of money too. Unless they redesigned the exam recently, you absolutely don’t need the newest edition of the review book, so buy from upperclassmen and then sell it to underclassmen the following year.

Learn to self study- Unless you’re really lucky, you’re guaranteed to have a teacher who doesn’t teach, teaches badly, or whose teaching style just doesn’t work for you. Personally, I find that self learning, especially if I’m struggling because resources such as textbooks and online explanations, and videos seem to contradict, really helps me understand the topic throughly. In AP bio, my teacher had us create claymation videos on the processes of cellular respiration and photosynthesis independently. It was incredibly frustrating and confusing because all the resources described the cycles in varying degrees of details, but I felt like I genuinely understood the topic, instead of having been spoon-fed the information and memorizing it. Obviously, this method isn’t very efficient for frequent use, but the key is to try to understand the material independently instead of going to the teacher the moment you hit a snag. 

Keep your backpack/binders/notebooks reasonably organized- When teachers ask for homework to be passed up and you have to dig through mountains of papers in your backpack, not only is that super stressful, but a lot of teachers won’t let you turn it in after they have already collected all the papers. I was definitely guilty of being lazy and just stuffing papers, once I got them, into my backpack instead of taking a few seconds to slide them into a binder, and as a result I got 0s on lots of homework because either I couldn’t find it at the time or because everything was so messy I didn’t remember there was homework. Try to have some sort of organization system going on or at least a homework folder, because those 0s add up and can be the difference between an 89 and 90. 

You’re gonna get senioritis, badly, and that’s ok- I’ve always been the type of person who did every homework assignment and was very focused on grades, so the idea that I would completely let myself ago seemed absurd to me. Don’t underestimate what senior year does to you. I can honestly count on one hand the econ worksheets that I actually turned in during senior year, and I made my first B in a grading period during the spring. I was very stressed about how awful my grades were, but unable to muster the energy to do anything about it. And you know what, it’s ok. It’s senior year, you can give yourself a break. Yes, your senior grades are still important for college applications, so don’t go from straight A’s to straight C’s, but for the most part, all the hard work is behind you. Do keep in mind that these habits may haunt you when you’re a college freshman. I haven’t started classes yet, but based on how little I studied for the math placement exam for my college, senioitis doesn’t magically end when you graduate, so don’t let it get completely out of control during the year. 

Learn how to do math without a calculator- If you take either of the AP Calculuses or the SAT, you need to master this skill because there are sections of the exams that are strictly non-calculator.  Beyond that, when you get to calculus, you’ll be introduced to complicated concepts, where not being able to multiply by hand will drag you down. 

Keep old notes- Not only for finals, but some topics are very interdisciplinary, like biochemistry, so it’s very important that you have a working knowledge of both biology and chemistry. As you take advanced classes, such as for me, taking physics c after physics 1, it will be assumed that you have completely mastered the basics, and they will be skipped or referenced very quickly. It is very useful to look at notes on the basics, which provide the foundation for the advanced material you learn. 

Invest in a whiteboard- Whenever I was learning about processes or cycles, from the Krebs cycle to organic chemistry mechanisms, it was really useful to practice drawing the steps over and over again. Then when it came to the test, I could do a brain dump and draw out the information as a reference. 

Understand formulas instead of blindly memorizing- This basically has physics and calculus written all over it. In physics, you should be given formula charts during exams, and in any case, something like F=ma isn’t terribly hard to memorize. The problem comes when there are a multitude of formulas that are derived from one of the fundamental equations. Of course, deriving from scratch each time is incredibly tedious, but I want to dissuade you from simply memorizing it or storing it on your calculator, because that means you probably don’t understand the physics behind it. What makes physics so difficult and different from any other subject you’ve taken is that every problem will have a slightly different scenario that tests your understanding of the physics behind it. 

Use all the time given to you during tests- I know I hate looking back through my test because I just get so bored halfway through, but missing points because of silly mistakes is honestly the most frustrating thing ever when you had plenty of time to check. Depending on if I have time, I like to cover my original work and resolve the question. If checking answers is not your thing, try slowing now when you first see each question, and checking your work briefly each step. 

Form study groups- Talking about something, especially teaching it to someone, always helped me remember something so much better than reading it on paper. It’s also so important to have second interpretations of the information you’re studying to ensure that you don’t make a huge misconception.  

AP students: released/practice exams are your best friend- Obviously, they’re the best resources for studying for the AP exam, but they’re also a great tool for a hint at what your teacher’s tests may look like. AP teachers have access to tons of College Board material and will often use questions directly from old exams. 

If you start getting confused during a lecture- Many times this is because I didn’t pay attention during the very beginning, so I’m missing that important foundation I talked about in the previous tip. Of course, I typically wouldn’t recommend doing things other than listening to what is currently being taught, but in this case, I would just get more confused and it’s a waste of time. So I discretely go back to my previous notes and focus on understanding them. 

The most stressful part of schoolwork is just thinking about your assignments- There’s always specific period of time that threatens to kill me- a week where I had two competitions simultaneously, in cities 3 hours apart. When you’re taking 7 AP classes at the same time, just reading over your to-do list will make you want to cry. Even on a normal day, as I go to classes throughout the day and my list of homework gets longer and longer, it makes me so stressed to where I’m planning out how to finish everything and I’m no longer listening in class. It overwhelmed me so much that I just wanted to take a nap and avoid school. But every single time, stressing about the work I have is 1000x worse than sitting down and actually going through each task. I find that what had seemed impossible before was very doable, and many times I even finished early enough to relax before bed. Keep a positive mindset, don’t underestimate your abilities, and have the discipline to start working immediately on the hardest days, and you’ll be fine. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the workload that is able to be handled by one person can work for another, and things like mental illnesses are things I have no experience in, so this is definitely just something that worked for me and is not applicable to everyone. 

Best of luck with high school! If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask!

My AP World masterpost

Asks I’ve answered about school



I actually have a head cannon relating to this. I’ve been playing with the idea that Mccree used to be left-handed but when he lost his left arm, he had to learn how to shoot with his right hand because you can’t really pull the trigger when you can’t feel the trigger at all (talking about the mechanical arm). Learning how to shoot again and how to live with the trauma of losing an arm, can be quite tough sometimes, I imagine…

Gabe found him at the shooting range when the trauma got the better of him.

I tried so hard to draw Jesse’s face.. but I failed miserably. So I hid it lol. I like it though. Sort of dramatic.     


MORE UT_ONLY treasures :D

Buttons and a gift from Tabe! I’ve been chatting with/admiring Tabe from afar for quite awhile and I was so shocked when I learned they’d be at UT_Only! (They came all the way from Japan!!)

Because they were in Korea for a short time, I didn’t get a chance to meet with them again, but they gave me this beautiful present and a special Grillby pin ;__;

Also in this set is a drawing @yesyooduck gifted to me. Yoo!! <3 <3 <3

I bought this in Korea at an Undertale convention. Please don’t ask me how to buy it - all of the goods were made special for the convention,  most things were pre-order and/or sold out at the convention. If they didn’t they’re very hard to buy. Sharing just to spread the love <3


Prompt: Migraine
Pairing: Moxiety (platonic or romantic)


Virgil appears in his doorway, hair askew, eyes squinting and whole body radiating unhappiness. 

Patton sets his book aside. It’s late, but he’s not asleep. He’s been expecting this. Virgil has been acting a little off all day, his responses slower than usual, flinching anytime anyone spoke too loudly. 

“Hey, buddy,” he says, keeping his voice pitched low. “Migraine?” 

Virgil gives him a miserable nod, then winces at the movement. 

Patton’s face contorts in sympathy. “Thought so. C’mere.” 

He slides over on his bed, making a space for the other side. While Virgil approaches and climbs onto the mattress, Patton reaches into his bedside table and pulls out a few staples: a bottle of water, a washcloth, and a vial of lavender oil. He hands Virgil the water; Virgil makes a face but obediently unscrews the cap and takes a few long swigs. When he’s done, he hands the still-open bottle back to Patton, who pours a small amount onto the washcloth before setting the bottle back on the table. 

He moves wordlessly to rest his back against the headboard, and Virgil follows; with the coordination of long practice, they settle a pillow in Patton’s lap, and Virgil reclines onto his back, resting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes. His make-up has been removed; there is a light dusting of tiny freckles across his nose and cheeks that Patton knows drive Virgil crazy, but which Patton finds almost unbearably endearing. The dark bruised circles beneath his eyes remain, however, which makes Patton’s heart squeeze a bit painfully in his chest.

He settles the damp cloth carefully over Virgil’s eyes, cool and dark, then reaches for the vial. The soft fragrance fills the air as he pours some onto his palms; Virgil inhales deeply, and Patton is gratified when he relaxes somewhat. He rubs the oil between his hands, warming it, then sets to work. 

He focuses on Virgil’s temples at first, keeping his touch light and gentle, then moves to work at the clenched muscles of his jaw. He works with quiet assurance, soothing and tender, and smiles when Virgil sinks into the touch, body growing heavier. Patton moves his attention to Virgil’s forehead, in particular over his eyebrows, which are so often drawn tight in fear or alarm. After a time, they relax too, the worry lines and grooves smoothing and lifting years from Virgil’s face. The anxious side draws a deep breath, releasing it on a half-sigh of relief, and Patton smiles again. 



It’s not exactly a resounding yes, but Patton doesn’t mind. The headache won’t magically disappear, because that’s not the way Virgil’s migraines work. But they’ve learned that Patton’s gentle massages do help, and that’s good enough for Patton. Virgil works so hard to keep them all safe; this is the least he can do in return. He only wishes he could do more. 

He continues to work, moving up to work on the scalp, then sliding his hands under Virgil’s neck to work the muscles at the base of his skull. Virgil stays relaxed, letting Patton support him, and the precious weight of his head cradled so trustingly in his hands makes Patton blink back sudden tears. 

Perhaps sensing the shift in emotion, Virgil removes the cloth from his eyes, gazing up at Patton with a silent question on his face. Patton offers a smile, which Virgil returns, small and sweet. Patton contorts, bending awkwardly in half in order to press a kiss to Virgil’s forehead. When he draws back, Virgil has closed his eyes, but his smile has grown incrementally.

Patton resumes his massage, adding a bit more oil and moving down to work the tight muscles of Virgil’s neck and shoulders, sliding his hands under the loose collar of his black t-shirt. It’s a little awkward from this angle but he does his best, pressing in deep at the juncture of neck and shoulder, rubbing in small firm circles with his thumbs. This is often the root of the problem, where Virgil carries the most tension, and it takes the longest, but finally, finally, those muscles relax as well, giving way under Patton’s insistent touch. Virgil groans softly again, and there’s definitely relief in his voice now. 

Gently, very gently, Patton eases himself back, sliding his legs out from under Virgil’s head. He settles the pillow onto the mattress then scoots to the edge of the bed, snagging the damp cloth and using it to wipe the remainder of the oil from his hands. 

When he turns back, Virgil’s eyes are open but heavy-lidded, watching Patton sleepily. Patton gives him another smile. 

“Do you want to sleep in here with me?” he offers, reaching out to smooth Virgil’s bangs back from his brow. 

Virgil nods once. 

“Okay. Be right back.” 

Patton slides off the bed and grabs the water bottle, refilling it from the bathroom faucet. Then he brings it back and sets it on the table on Virgil’s side of the bed. When Virgil wakes up in the morning, Patton will encourage him to drink it, to forestall the dehydration headache that often follows his migraines.

(Last time, he hadn’t even had to mention it; Virgil had grabbed the bottle on his own and downed the entire thing. It was a step forward in self care that’d had Patton bursting with pride, even when Virgil had shrugged it off and insisted it was no big deal.)

Now, Patton climbs into bed next to Virgil, pausing only to turn off the already-dim lamp. Overhead, the fairy lights he’d stretched across the vaulted ceiling of his bedroom twinkle faintly like distant stars. Virgil gazes up at them for a few moments, then rolls onto his side to face Patton, his eyes glittering in the darkness. His hand slides into the space between them; Patton grasps it in his own. 

“Thank you,” Virgil murmurs, voice rough and sleep-thick. 

Patton beams at him in the darkness, heart aching with love, and squeezes his fingers gently. “Anytime,” he whispers. 

Just wanted to draw something as a thank you for all the kind words and comments that had been received on the other picture!

I honestly wasn’t expecting it to be received so well! And for Thomas to see it too- Ahhh ;;
Also, sorry for not having replied a lot, still really shy/ easily anxious but seriously, reading all of the reactions/comments had really made my week. Thank you all greatly and hope you enjoy! <: <3

Please do not Re-Post/Re-upload on another site, edit, and/or use without permission.

Likes/Reblogs are perfectly Okay!

Edit: Sorry if this uploads more than once, Tumblr keeps giving me a hard time ;;

drench yourself in words unspoken (Zutara Soulmate AU)

I don’t need luck, Zuko says to Aang as the blizzard howls around them, as they take shelter from the ice and the wind. I don’t want it. I’ve always had to struggle and fight and that’s made me strong. That’s made me who I am.

He turns and, like, he knows the kid is in some Avatar Spirit-World trance or whatever, but he can’t quite quash the spark of irritation he feels at the sight of Aang’s sleeping face. He wouldn’t be the first person to doze off during one of Zuko’s monologues (that honour goes to Uncle Iroh, and then… to basically every sailor on the boat Zuko has called home for the past three years) but it’s still affronting. Honestly.

Zuko crouches down to study the pale blue arrows on Aang’s skin, and wonders if there are other tattoos that mark him. If it’s even possible for the Avatar, the great bridge between the human and the Spirit World, to have a soulmate.

Not that Zuko really believes in soulmates anymore. That kind of comes with the territory. Once you believe you make your own path, once you decide you don’t need luck or fate, soulmates - which are a bit of both - are pretty much rendered pointless as well. And, well. Just look at what happened with Mai.

So. What happened with Mai was bad.

Keep reading

Sketchy 😄

Well, yeah I’m alive! I’m finally done with all my university stuff, which means I’m gonna have some more time for drawing again, yay! 

I gotta admit it’s kind of hard getting back into drawing again, after not drawing anything for quite some time but I’m gonna try to color this one tomorrow. 

(It’s a sketch for another trading card, so it’s gonna be really tiny and probably half of the details will be lost 😢. That’s a bit sad, because I really like the sketch, but well… that’s why i’m showing the sketch ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

“Punishment” (Jooheon smut)

Originally posted by heonies

Title: Punishment

Featuring: Jooheon (Monsta X) x Reader

POV: 2nd

Rating: Mature. Thigh riding, spanking, dirty talk, daddykink.

Summary: Jooheon decides you need consequences for your actions, and a little something extra.

Requested by anon!

Jooheon was on the couch in front of you, slouched down and comfortable with his knees spread and one arm draped over the back. He raised an eyebrow at you, a smirk tugging the corner of his mouth.  Something about the way he was postured there, his t-shirt clinging to his sides and his pants just tight enough to outline his strong legs, it made you shiver.

Keep reading


As much as I want Hiveswap to be released ASAP, i also don’t want the development team to feel pressured and then rushing things out. All i can do is wishing them all my best wishes.

The graphics are great!! They’re working really hard for this. So Hiveswap, whenever you’re ready, I’m here…


Currently living the life I have always imagined and it feels so surreal! My heart is so full and I couldn’t be more grateful for all the amazing people, things, and opportunities I have in my life. This summer felt like a preview of what my life will look like after I graduate and start working, and it looks awesome. I’m sad that I won’t have as much free time, but I’m more excited to learn and develop skills that are important for the real world. Plus, taking time off will feel so much more rewarding (just realized this after my mini vacation this past weekend)!! For everyone wondering, I’m no longer running track or xc for my school anymore. I lost my passion for racing and it didn’t feel like I was running for myself anymore. It was definitely a hard realization to come to because racing used to be my favorite part about running. I’m definitely not running as many miles as much as I did before, but at least I’m running for myself now, and it feels so liberating 😃 . I’ve had a lot of time this summer to think about myself in terms of who I am, what I want in life, and how I can further improve myself. I started drawing again and am really happy I did so. This summer I learned a lot about ways to improve myself and my overall quality of life and wanted to share some of it with you: you are responsible for your own happiness. Do things that are good for you, and do things that you are good at. Hold on to your hobbies and pursue your passions because the better you get at it, the more rewarding they will become. The older you get, the less time you’ll have to pursue those hobbies, so the earlier you incorporate them into your daily lifestyle, the more they’ll feed into your personal fulfillment over time. Save up your money for experiences instead of things. Gifts can be very meaningful, but I personally believe travelling and learning about and experiencing all the beautiful places the world has to offer to be much more rewarding and memorable. Once I start working full time, my goal is to travel 2-3 times per year. Sooo yeah, thanks for reading and feel free to send me an update of how your life is going (anon or not!). Happy August friends!

Couldn’t Ask Part Two (Alexander Hamilton x Reader)


First Part 

Warnings: guns, mentions of death of a loved one/parent (not depicted)

A/N- (Happy Sequel Sunday!! Sorry this is so late! I accentuated Laf’s accent in this, hope ya like it)

Song- Alone Together – Fall Out Boy

Words- 3,493

“Sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to intrude, but I was really interested in this Indian fabric,” he held up your jeans. Oh God no. “and I just saw…What is this?” He held up several green pieces of paper. “And why is my face on it?” 

You stood frozen to the spot with no idea what to say. Was this something you could lie your way out of? You could try at the very least.

Keep reading

Making a Book of Shadows is really important for a witch. 

This book keeps all your spells, potions, and notes about any kind of witchcraft. You could think of it as your diary, where you write down all your experiments and acknowledgements.


  • If you’re not good at drawing, feel free to stick in the herbs and/or plants. 
  • If you want to keep some spells (or anything really) secret, write it down in witch language. 
  • Write down the meaning of crystals, herbs, spells, and recipes. 

Learning this would be hard, but as you learn, this will become second nature!  

“If I fail, I try again, and again, and again.” - Nick Vujicic

Picture from: Pinterest  (if you know the artist’s name say it down below)

anonymous asked:

Where do you start when you draw? Also what do you think is a good way to draw poses?

Depends on what kind of picture it is. If I want to draw a pose that I haven’t tried before or that feels hard I always find some references 

This is a good way to see how long body parts are and all that kinda stuff. For me, once I’ve drawn the lines a couple of times I feel its easier to remember and draw again. And once you’ve drawn lines on like 500 reference pics you can start drawing your own lines without any help because you’ve learned how long they should be and how they can bend

If I draw a full body person I start with lines and circles marking feet, hands, head, torso and other key places. Dont start drawing a really detailed head or detailed feet if you haven’t made sure they connect properly with the whole body, hope this helps!

Inspiration <3

A flower starts as a seed. It is small, and may not be seen in the ground. But when watered and given time, it grows. It grows taller and becomes more beautiful. It blooms. Humans are just like flowers.

When you are born, you more or less just cry, eat, and sleep. But then you grow. You grow and you learn. You learn about the world and develop skills. You practice, you devote time. You achieve.

When you learn to ride a bike, you may fall off a lot. It hurts, but you get back up and try again. And again. Then you don’t fall off so much. Then you get good, you go faster and stay on the bike for longer. Before you know it, you’ve learned to ride a bike and don’t need help any more. Life is like riding a bike.

When someone first starts drawing, it might not be a masterpiece - but with time and practice, their art improves more and more.

Give someone a musical instrument for the first time and, chances are, they can’t really play anything on it. But with enough hard work and time, they can end up playing amazing things. 

People that once believed they would never achieve anything have gone on to change the world, or at least change someone’s world.

There are people who once thought they would never meet their heroes, but now have.

There are people who felt imprisoned by their mental or physical illness or differences, but have gone on to achieve incredible things, things that they never thought they would do.

Public speakers may have previously battled with social anxiety.

Athletes may have once been drained of energy by depression. 

Deaf/HoH people can become musicians, blind people can be artists.

People with any mental illness or physical disability can go on to inspire people because, at the end of the day, they are people just like everyone else.

People in the LGBTQIA community can contribute to the world as much as anyone else can, because they are just as human. 

Your ability to do amazing things is not defined by gender, sexuality, or race. It is not defined by your weight or body shape. It is not defined by physical or mental differences like this. These differences purely make us human. Different does not mean less.

People can write off their dreams as impossible, but one day find that they can achieve it if they chase it for long enough. They just have to not listen to the people that say ‘you can’t’ and tell themselves ‘I can’.

Let me tell you my story.

I thought I would never get to see Coldplay in concert. I was wrong, because I’ve now seen them twice, including once in a stadium.

I thought no YouTuber would ever care about me or notice me - but this was not true. I was responded to as recently as last night.

I believed I would always be bad at drawing and could never improve. But practicing it has proved me wrong, as my drawings have in fact got better.

My sleep schedule was non-existent; I was getting up midday or later, and falling asleep at 4/5am or later. Now I fall asleep much earlier, and get up around 9/9.30 every morning.

I was never getting out of the house unless I had a class to go to. But recently, I’ve taken myself out to my local shop on multiple occasions.

When I first started composing, I was writing pieces that were maybe no longer than 30 seconds, and weren’t very interesting. Now, I can write pieces that are 5 minutes or longer, with a vast number of instruments if I want to, and people tell me how much they enjoy them.

I used to hate myself and hurt myself. Now, I’m learning to like myself more and I haven’t harmed myself in years. I used to avoid looking at myself in the mirror, but now I’m able to smile at myself.

I once thought that I would never be mentally strong enough or clever enough to go to university. I’m now a few weeks away from finishing my three-year music degree.

I thought I’d always be hated with no friends. But now I have many friends online, and even a little friendship group in person. 

I believed I would never have the confidence to make videos. But now it’s been nearly a year since my first vlog, I’ve grown in confidence on camera, and I have a wonderful 300+ community subscribed to the channel.

I once hated performing and wouldn’t ever do it. I still don’t find it comfortable, but I do it more now; I’m performing an original album launch in a couple of weeks time.

I used to believe I would never amount to anything or succeed at anything. But I’ve almost finished my degree, I have 300+ subscribers on YouTube, and many people have told me how I’ve helped them and made them happy.

Discovering that I am asexual has not diminished my abilities. Depression and social anxiety have not stopped me achieving those things, even though they tried to. The fact that I may possibly have Asperger’s (self diagnosed but it’s pretty likely), meaning that my mind works differently, hasn’t prevented me from achieving all of those goals. 

There are dreams I have not fulfilled, mountains I haven’t yet climbed…

But my story is not even over yet.

Have obstacles? You’ll overcome them all.

Feel hopeless? It will get better.

Have dreams? Chase them.

Your story is unfinished, you are not on the final chapter yet, and you can’t know the ending because you’ve never read your story before.

Keep writing it. Keep living. Keep dreaming.


The Player

Edmund x Reader

Modern AU

Imagine: You and Edmund are really close and he’s kind of a player. You tell him that you think he should find a steady girlfriend and he confesses the only reason he hasn’t is because of his feelings for you.


You rolled your eyes as you saw Edmund put his arm around another girl and worked to conceal your jealousy. For months, you’ve watched him flirt and hook up with other girls all the while wishing he would think of you as more than a friend. 

You overheard him saying he’ll be right back and a few seconds later, he was sliding into the seat next to yours. “Hey Y/N.” You nearly swooned at his wonderfully accented voice but held yourself together. “Hey Ed. I see you’ve found yourself another girl.”

He smirked and leaned closer. “You jealous?” You scoffed in return. “You wish.” He laughed and leaned back in his seat. He hid it well, but in his head he really was wishing you were jealous. Because then he would know that you had the same feelings he did.

Before either of you had the chance to get out another word, the bell rang signaling the end of the school day. You picked up your notebooks and slung your bag over your shoulder, promising Edmund that you’d be at his house later for your traditional movie night with the Pevensies.

When you arrived in your bedroom 15 minutes later, you fell onto your bed sighing. “Why did I have to fall for him?


You walked into the Pevensie house, not even bothering to knock. it was basically your second home. You walked into the living room and crashed on the couch between Peter and Lucy, half landing on Peter. He grunted and shoved you. “Get off me you big oaf.”

You laughed, scooting over some. “Oaf? What does that even mean?” He laughed along with you. “I’m not sure but I know it’s an insult.” You snorted and turned, conversing with Susan and Lucy. 

After a while, you got tired of waiting for Edmund and told the group that you were going to make popcorn. “I wouldn’t go in the kitchen if I were you.” Said Peter. 

“Why?” You asked. Was he messing with you? The siblings exchanged looks, shrugging and you rolled your eyes, and headed into the kitchen. The sight that greeted you was terribly unpleasant. Edmund and the girl from earlier were having a heated make out session on the counter. You screamed, shielding your eyes with your hands and rushed out of the kitchen. You sat back down on the couch with red cheeks, and hit Peter on the shoulder. “Asshole.” You muttered, but he just smirked.

A few minutes later, Edmund and his latest girlfriend came through the open door, sitting on the smaller couch opposite the one you were on. “So, what are we watching?” Edmund asked as if nothing had happened.


Edmund was trying to watch the movie, but he just could not focus. He was ashamed that Y/N had caught him making out with Nancy. Sure, he’d had girls around her before but she’d never seen him in that position. He was trying so hard to get Y/N out of his head, he wasn’t thinking.

You kept seeing Nancy (you’d learned her name from Peter who kept telling her to be quiet) touching Edmund out of the corner of your eye. She kept grabbing his hand, stroking his face, leaning her head against his shoulder. You couldn’t stand it anymore, especially after she finally grabbed his face and kissed him.

You abruptly stood up, drawing attention from almost everyone. You walked through the kitchen and out the back door, sighing from relief as the cold air smacked your face. You could almost breathe again. You heard the door open and you looked at the ground, kicking at it with your shoeless foot. “Pete, I’m fine.”

“Uhh, it’s not Peter.” You turned in surprise at hearing his voice and his beauty once again overcame your senses. His black hair was blowing in the wind and his long sleeved blue shirt hugged his frame perfectly. His brown eyes shone with kindness like always. 

You smiled. “Oh, hey Ed.” He narrowed his eyes at you. “What’s wrong?” You kept the smile plastered to your face. “Nothing. It was just hot in there.”

He sighed, and you could tell he saw right through it. “Fine. Don’t you think it’s time that you got an actual girlfriend?”

His face contorted with confusion. That wasn’t what he was expecting. “Maybe I’m serious about Nancy.” He defended. “Fine.” You said.

He hit the wall suddenly, causing you to jump. “Gosh you’re so- ugh! Can’t you see the only reason that I’m with those girls is to distract myself from you? You’re the only girl I think about. The only one I want to be with.” He searched your eyes for a clue to how you were feeling. And then he leaned in, kissing your lips gently. 

After he pulled back, you waited for a moment before reattaching your lips to his, only this time with more passion, putting all of your feelings into the kiss. When you two finally broke away in need of oxygen, a huge smile broke out across his face. “So, does this mean you feel the same way?”

You smiled and nodded, slipping your hand into his.

anonymous asked:

Are you alright? Lately it's seems like you're under a lot of pressure and stress, and I just hope there's some good in your life and that you're okay and taking care of yourself

It’s been pretty rough, that’s true. Right now I am leading a really unhealthy, stressful life. I don’t sleep enough, I don’t eat enough (I don’t even have real comfort food anymore. And that’s super shitty) and I don’t relax enough. But I think it’s getting better now. I try to take some time just for myself and do stuff I really enjoy. Without pressure and stress. It’s hard, because for some reason I end up stressing about everything, but then I remind myself that I don’t have to be stressed when I’m playing video games and that it’s okay if some things don’t work out for the first few times. 

I need to learn how to enjoy things like drawing again. I see myself only drawing for the sake of others lately and it frustrates me. I just hope after this semester it gets better. After that I can choose my major and then I go to illustration and I can finally do what I want. Bye bye product design!