learn empathy

there will be people who use you. they are good at getting close so you care about them. when they see your scars, they’ll flash their own. you will feel kin to them. you know what it is to struggle with things.

and at first you think: they’ll help me if i help them.

but it doesn’t happen. you love them deeply so you always pick up the phone. it doesn’t matter that you have a test the next day or that you’re going through things of your own. you support them.

they are good at pretend. they will play like they are your friend, so you endlessly give to them. after a while you realize: it really doesn’t matter what’s happening in your life, some more pressing emergency is always happening to them. it is a hard thing to recognize, because you don’t want people to hurt like you do. 

i have a friend who never asks me if i’’m okay. she only ever texts me to tell me she wants to die, but never goes to therapy or does any of the things i tell her to do to help herself. once when i came back from my grandfather’s funeral she demanded to know why i’d been gone, and when i explained, she said that without me, she’d almost passed out of this world. i had to lay down on the floor; nothing made sense anymore. i want her to get better. i want to help.

but there are people out there who will use you. who don’t care about getting better, they care about you giving up your time, your effort, your everything. until you are drained of it. i don’t mean those who give back, who will gladly do anything for you, who you know you can trust. who you don’t mind giving up the test for, because you know they’d do the same in a similar spot.

i mean those who don’t know you. who pretend that they care about you but are using your empathy as a sore spot. who take more than they need. who demand your attention all of the time but don’t care if you bleed.

A Tip for INFJs:

Your Ni+Fe might make you feel like you know more about people’s problems than they do, how to solve them, and the likely course of action that will happen if they don’t listen to you (and a lot of times you’ll be correct), but it’s important to recognize boundaries. Most people aren’t going to listen to your unsolicited advice; they’ll see it as you overstepping, even if your intent is one of pure empathy. Learn how to let people handle their own business and tone down the sense of obligation you feel to interfere and help them. If you feel guilty for not helping, know that it really is not your problem, not your fault, none of your business and move on. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

What you do in this universe comes back to you. Some call it karma. A lot of people focus on good karma. But, realize there will also be things that are not so pleasant. When that time comes, use it as a learning experience. Accept that “bad” karma, realize what it is that is coming back to you. Realize “this is the pain that the person I hurt felt” realize it is a learning lesson on empathy and understanding. And after that point on, choose to do what you believe is right and put good energy and good things in the world. Continue working on yourself and that inner peace.

Hello, survivor here who grew up with illness and disability and who loves to explore life through fictional characters because it’s a good way to think outside of your own experiences and learn and grow and also to have fun.

Can we stop pretending that unsavory fan content made by survivors is more powerful than big bucks goreporn movies coming out every year? There’s so much discourse about how someone’s geeky indulgent fanfic can cause a whole generation of sickos to feel validated by it and go commit horrible crimes but if an obscure fic is that powerful and influential because to you fiction = reality, why isn’t a musical where we root for the characters making people pies treated the same?

If fans shouldn’t be allowed to write weird or dark or gross things for coping, speculation, learning, healing, empathy, creative exercise, or just for fun just because there might be people who cannot separate fiction from reality, then why isn’t media seen by literal millions your target as well? Because individuals are easy targets and this is all performative and you don’t actually care about us, you hurt us because that’s how weak and powerless you are, you have to harass some 20 year old survivor just trying to explore things safely in the realm of fiction and act like their weird crackship fic with 800 hits is responsible for every new trauma victim created that month.

I’ve got a secret for you: telling survivors they should be ashamed of what they create and they should kill themselves because you personally are grossed out or uncomfortable with their OTP doesn’t protect them or anyone else from harm. The one doing harm is you. Stop harming real people in the name of hypotheticals. I have seen this go on for far too long. You hurt people who are already hurting. Who does that save?

Fellow survivors and even people who just like writing dark things and know that what they write isn’t reality: asking “what if?” and exploring that creatively is not a sin.

The worst part about this is that I understand Peridot’s confusion, because as we’ve seen before she only recently learned about empathy and friendship. She is not ready for this and yet she is being encouraged to make Lapis her friend no matter what.

Steven don’t lie, you know exactly the reason Lapis doesn’t want to be nice to Peridot. You’re the one forcing this situation.

Lapis is Water/Flying type confirmed. Let’s just hope no one around has electricity or it’ll fuck her up good.

OH MY GOD.

LAPIS YOU CUTIE.

“Yeah… but it’s very blurry.”

I just love how honest and to the point Lapis is.

ryulx  asked:

are there two different words for the different colors in korean like red, blue, etc. cause i've seen different words for each but dont know their uses

You’re right! Some colours have two or more names, and a select few colours even have a Native Korean adjective form! Here is a list of colours, the Native Korean adjective names will be marked in bold.

  • Red/Crimson: 빨간색, 빨강, 빨갛다
  • Red: 적색, 홍색
  • Vermillion: 주색
  • Maroon: 적갈색
  • Dark Pink: 진분홍색
  • Pink: 분홍색, 핑크색
  • Light Pink: 연분홍색
  • Orange: 주황색, 오렌지색
  • Yellow: 노란색, 노랑, 노랗다
  • Light Yellow: 연노란색
  • Beige: 베이지색
  • Ivory: 아이보리색
  • Green: 초록색
  • Light Green / Yellow-Green: 연두색
  • Turquoise: 청록색 
  • Indigo / Navy Blue: 남색,네이비
  • Blue: 파란색, 파랑, 청색, 파랗다, 푸르다
  • Sky Blue: 하늘색
  • Purple / Violet: 보라색 
  • Light Purple: 연보라색
  • Brown (Chestnut): 밤색
  • Brown: 갈색
  • Brown (Yellow Ochre): 황토색
  • White: 하얀색, 하양, 흰색, 백색, 하얗다, 희다
  • Gray: 회색, 진회색
  • Black: 검은색, 검정색, 까만, 흑색, 검다 
  • Silver: 은색 
  • Gold: 금색

That’s quite a nice vocabulary builder! 

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask!

i can do all i can to link to source after source, quote hateful line after hateful line and cite which speech it came from, but to some people it will never be enough because their goal isn’t to actually educate themselves, it is to exert power over others and dismiss the fact that they happily eat up anything that puts the status quo in their favor.

if you can listen to any of that man’s speeches and not catch on to the nearly overwhelming amount of childish spite, ignorance, racism, and sexism, i likely have nothing i can say that will change that. and it is not my responsibility to fix any other person.

i may feel obligated to openly fight ideals that conflict with my principal of do no harm, but i am not at all obligated to tutor you in learning empathy.

So this came up in my newsfeed and I just wanted to share it with another kh fan (your blog is great!!)

They pretty much go on to say that he’s just a normal boy with lots of hearts inside him and he’s just learning about empathy and stuff completely 100% normal boy

— That’s super cute! I stray away from Latin Times cause they like to catch your attention with clickbait but that article sounds so nice!

was i naked then? i could tell you how i’ve felt naked all of my life. I could tell you about the exile, my mother’s infinite otherness.

but i have grown accustomed to dwelling in a second language, living in the no man’s land between violence & the throbbing catastrophe of our bodies. the first rule is not to mix the two- it ends up a monster in your gut, tequila and wine. tobacco and chocolate.

we’d have to talk about the night then. we’d have to speak of vulnerability & the word love. about the empathy you learned in that school in that green yard with that girl who looked like a burning tree. emapthy i learned through teeth. we don’t fully understand each other. but i’m already looking at your body and thinking of the only language we have left.

i could tell you how to grieve for the mess of us. that these lands require an alligence to a mirage. the heavy and profound blanket which never managed to cover my bare body. to exist here, you have to become less- you have to become a ghost of yourself.

i could tell you all this but the whiskey has gone dry & your body seems like the perfect, soft flesh where i can forget for a while. the shape of you fits my wound just fine.

look at this dark wet room. i can hardly hear the lull of a world eating itself from the inside out down here. look at this- those bare hands, greedy for recluse. we made it. a temporary refuge deep in the asterisk of the empire. but it is ours. the only place we can be naked together. let us go to sleep in a drunken stupor. don’t say my name in the morning- only tell me you don’t feel naked here. only tell me you don’t feel like a ghost.

—  half wake in a dive bar | valentinawrites | @lafemmenuit

It really bothers me when muslims are like ‘you’re ex muslim fine but you don’t get to criticize islam- and when i say criticize I mean talking about issues like homophobia/transphobia in islam, forcing islam and disownment or death for leaving islam/apostasy  ect. You know there’s a difference between being islamophobic and actually pointing out practices and views that are harmful/abusive/toxic towards other human beings? 

We’ve all seen Christians get a whole lot of criticism for their toxic ways but when it comes to Islam feminists are worried about appearing racist and hang onto every word of muslims on this site despite how toxic it may be and how it may affect others, specially those who are forced to practice Islam. Muslims can argue that there is a ‘choice’ when it comes to leaving islam but there isn’t. Not for all of us. Not unless you want to be murdered or disowned by your family, is that really civil healthy choice for a person? No. A lot of us don’t have accepting parents or families, but the opposite who will harm us because their devotion to allah surpasses the importance for our actual well being.

There are many muslims on this site that are liberal and are against certain prejudice and believe we have a right to leave islam if it’s not for us (isn’t it funny/gross how it seems necessary their validation is needed on this?). The newer generations are less judgmental but it’s easy to say something and not act on it. Muslims actually need to make an effort to accept ex muslims and accept muslims who no longer what to follow islam or want to follow another path or just want to live their lives their own way. This choice should be a basic human right. 

Until you actively take part in support your fellow ex muslims you are still part of the problem and contributing to harming us. Until you choose to accept that Islam isn’t perfect and there are things in Islam that actively harm people you are not helping.

A muslim who chooses to leave Islam is not trying to insult you with their choice, they are just wanting to live their life and be happy.

I realize it’s easier to be resentful and ignore this issue. To muslims an ex muslim breaking free of Islam can seem insulting, but they need to get look beyond the selfishness of their own feelings and realize there are people hurting over something so stupid like not being able to peacefully leave a religion they were born into. 

So, here is a story for you

Two weeks ago I was having the worst work day of my life. I was tired, suffering from a nasty infection in my kidney and just feeling like crap. Two days before, my grandfather passed away. I had to spend the whole 8 hours wishing people a happy Easter and being wished a happy Easter and it was hard.

The way our store is laid out, we can’t have more than one queue so the self service and tills queue is merged into one and people who want to use self service can use it and those who don’t can wait for the till. It’s a simple system. We aren’t allowed a separate till queue because the only place people could queue is across the front of the store, blocking the doors and also the fire exit. Because of this we are required to make sure the one queue rule is enforced. About partway through my shift a queue had built up across the doors, so I politely called across for everyone to move to the side and merge with the main queue because the exit was blocked. One guy took this as a personal attack and began to argue with me across the till that ‘there is plenty of room for people to move’ and 'why can’t you serve me I’ve been standing here for five minutes’. I told him I wouldn’t serve him until he moved into the appropriate queue. I was too done with life to be peppy and polite in the face of his bullshit. This enraged him even more until he asked if I was having a bad day. The woman behind him decided to get on my case too, asking why I couldn’t say please (I had said please twice before this douchepan opened his pie hole) and accusing me of 'not wanting to do my job properly’

Now, this is where I lost my shit. Straight faced, I replied 'Actually, I am not having the best of days, no. A family member of mine died on Wednesday. To tell the truth I shouldn’t be here.’

And although it was probably not a nice way of approaching it, the look of absolute horror on his and the woman behind him’s faces made it a tiny bit laughable.

Somehow I think my grandfather would find it funny too.

You owe nothing to anyone but yourself. It’s your own standards and boundaries that determine what you give others. Ironically, you can’t have genuine empathy and compassion without boundaries.

httpretty  asked:

like, sometimes they see corrupted gems or maybe there's an entire 11 minute ep where theyre at a pitstop and greg and steven sing songs and :')))))

SOBS…. AND THEY SAVE LAPIS FROM A DESTROYED GEM TEMPLE BY BREAKING HER FROM A MIRROR… AND LAPIS IS A FULLY DEVELOPED CHARACTER WHO LEARNS TO FEEL EMPATHY AND FORGIVE FROM GREG????

CNN headline just now - “As descendant of Holocaust Survivors, will Jared Kushner teach Donald Trump about rememberance?”

The media has to stop normalizing him - as if he is a person capable of learning from history and empathy and all that good stuff. It is patently obvious to anyone watching that Donald Trump is, in fact, mentally ill. He has narcissistic personality disorder (did anyone else read his Black History Month speech?) - You can’t teach him anything. He is not capable of considering anything but himself. He just made people in a prayer breakfast pray for ratings on the Apprentice…Asked questions like “shouldn’t you get over the popular vote thing?” He responds with how he won the true popular vote.

He is not capable. And he is being puppeted by neo-Nazis each hateful in their own field, to put forward their agenda while he blusters on about ratings and SNL and entertains the media and wields enormous power from his golden throne.

Stop normalizing. This is not normal.

So…I was thinking of some nasty curses to put on the TERFs who just spout garbage and ruin people’s lives all the time…but then I had a thought. Instead of punishment, why not utilize transformation? So here is a spell to take their hateful mindset and turn it into something better.
You will need:
A black candle, a white candle, and a yellow candle.
The black candle stands for all the bigotry that needs to be put to an end. Light it, and put all your willpower into SHUTTING THOSE BITCHES UP. There. Now take the yellow candle, which stands for education and deep thought and light this FROM THE BLACK CANDLE FLAME. This is important because it is only through opening the heart and mind and quieting the mouth that any learning and empathy can take place. Meditate on empathy. Then lastly, light the white candle from the yellow. This represents the new, positive, inclusive way of thinking you are trying to encourage in others. With all 3 candles lit, you have silenced, taught, and transformed a mindset of exclusivity and harmful, radical idealism. Now go, my feminists, and be the good you want to see. Bring it into manifestation with your own two hands. Educate people. Set the right example.
And really if all else fails, then hex the crap outta them. Idgaf.