“Love…For Better or Worse”….. Pt. 2
With Valentine’s Day solidifying our choice to expand our family, Moses and I have been taking every chance we have to try for a baby. Knowing that he wants this just as bad as I do, and that he’s still willing to try with the odds weighing heavily against us, makes me see him in a whole different light. I honestly feel more connected…more in love with him, and more loved by him. Even my level of attraction for him has gone up, something I never thought was possible with his sexy ass. I’m not sure if it’s because of those orgasms he gives, leaving my ass gone, his new “Zaddy” beard, or just the fact that we are doing this, but he can get it anytime he damn well pleases. Humph, today was no different. I finally received a new shipment of exclusive and very expensive items to reserve for “priority” clientele, and Moses stopped by from the studio to help me unpack. After listening to the beats he just finished and eating, I’d say we got through one box before temptation set in and my ass ended up pinned against the wall. As punishment for taking his time, I decided to ignore his attempt to get at me and continued sorting through boxes. After playfully threatening me saying “the longer I take, the harder he’s gonna fuck me”, I brushed by him asking him to “make that a promise”. Next thing I know, his stiffness was pressed against my ass, his hand was up my dress and his lips were wrapped around my neck. Shit, after that, the only thought on my mind was how good his dick was going to be, as we hauled ass into the back office. Unfortunately, there was one thing that I wish stuck…The fact that I told Levi and Dana to come through to pick out one item each. So I guess you could say it was a little awkward when we came out of the room, me in shock looking freshly fucked, and Moses walking out with a guilty ass smirk on his face. The two of them had a ball snickering as they looked on, while Moses said goodbye to me after greeting them. Levi looked me up and down shaking his head, while Dana ran to the window to make sure Moses left. Once the “coast was clear”, she ran back and immediately started to grill me.
Dana: “Bitch….What in the actual fuck???” She said, cracking up. “I’m guessing since the lights were off, your nasty ass forgot we were coming? Shit, y’all could have at least drove instead of calling a car to take y’all around…Got us comin in here thinking you stepped out and shit…”
Levi: “Right, was it that serious for mini mogul to make an appearance??”
Teeleah: “Oooh, don’t be tryin to play my man out like that…His shit is far from little or thin…You need to be nice Vi, since he’s the one paying for that portfolio you keep reaching into…” I jokingly snapped, sticking my tongue out. “Anyways, I have no idea what you two are referring to..”
Dana: “Oh really, hunh??…Then why is your hair in that ponytail, when your snap you posted a few hours ago shows it down and extra done??”
Teeleah: “I plead the fifth…” I said, as we all cracked up.
Levi: “Mm-hum…Keep messin around like that and an actual mini muse might make an appearance.”
Dana: “Exactly..” She chimed in, while I stood silent.
Levi: “Wait a minute…You have been glowing a helluva lot recently, extra happy for no reason too, all signs that you’ve been getting it in like crazy…Girl, are y’all trying to get pregnant???” He asked, getting no response from me.
Dana: “Leah, you don’t have to answer that…I don’t think it’s any of our business.” She said, glaring at Levi.
I continued to stay silent after she said that. Conflicted, barely describes what I was feeling at that moment. Moses likes to keep shit under wraps and I wanted to respect that but, at the same time, I was dying to tell my closest friends. Dana is like a sister to me, especially now that Nica and I aren’t as close, and Levi has been in my life for years. what’s the harm in telling them? Who doesn’t want someone to go to with frustrations and feelings that can’t share with a significant other? I honestly need all the support I can get being that this journey is gonna be tough. Hell, the only person I told was my mother and she was not pleased at all. I know having them rooting for us will make this a lot easier, so with all that in mind, I decided to answer the question.
Teeleah: “Actually we are.” I said, as they both stared at me confused as hell with reactions I damn sure didn’t expect. “Look, I know it’s not the most traditional thing to do but…”
Levi: “Oh honey, I get it…I’m just a little concerned that’s all. I mean after he slept with that girl? He literally fucked her hours after you sent him that break up text, Leah. Who the hell does that? And what about your long break up before that? You’ve only been back together for what…6 months and ever since you’ve run into issues? I just feel like it’s too soon, what’s with the rush? Why not give you a ring first? Since when did Mogul want a kid so bad? It just seems too convenient.”
Teeleah: “All of that shit is behind us and is staying there. There is no rush, nothing is shady or convenient, Levi. This is something we both want.”
Levi: “It’s just doing too much.
Dana: “How bout you’re too much!” She yelled, directing her attention towards Levi. “I get that you’ve known her for years but you need to calm all that noise down. Over here bringing up irrelevant shit, when she’s sharing somethin that’s bringing her joy. Whatchu mad for?”
Levi: “Sweetheart, nobody’s mad! I’m just trying to save her from becoming baby mamma #1″.
Teeleah: “Alright Vi, you said enough. Let’s drop it.”
Dana: “Nah, you ain’t tryin to help shit. All you wanna do is gossip and get your tea for the day. I’m not beat…I can see right through your ass.”
Levi: “You know what…I’m just gonna go. Leah, I truly am looking out for you and I’m sorry for coming on too strong. So are we still good?”
Teeleah: “Yess, Vi…See you Monday.” I said, as he gave me a huge hug.
After he left, Dana had a few things she wanted to get off her chest. Since her demeanor changed, I realized she too was having issues with our decision. At this point I was drained from the bullshit Levi was on, and I didn’t really want to hear it.
Dana: “Listen, I’m gonna keep it real. While I don’t like or trust Levi’s intentions, he has raised some valid points. Babes, I can’t wait for you to have children but I’m not sure if now is the right time. You feel me? Like he said, this just seems rushed and I know you’d rather be his wife than baby mamma first. You’re 29, you have plenty of time to have kids. Why not wait? Plus there’s something else…”
Teeleah: “Because..” I said, trying to compose myself. “I might not be able to have children…”
I explained everything to her, from losing the twins to what my fertility tests say. When I was finished the first thing she did was give me a hug. It was clear that she now understood and accepted my choice.
Dana: “Girl, I am so sorry. Losing those babies, and finding out this bullshit?? You need to do whatever you can. You hear me?” She said, as she wiped tears from her face.
Teeleah: “Yeah, I do…” I said, as my voice cracked and I too wiped tears from my face.
Dana: “Shit, this IVF betta work.”
Teeleah: “Girl, I’d be so grateful.” *crying again* “This shit ain’t fair…I’m trying my hardest to stay positive, but I honestly don’t think it’s gonna happen. Humph, but you know what…” I said, drying my eyes. “I’m gonna give it my all. That’s all I can do…So you said there is something else you wanted to say?”
Dana: “Shit….Girl…Aight, Moses was chillin with Sean the other day and I kinda overheard something I found a little sketchy. He was basically worried about something Asia could possibly leak. She’s apparently been going off on twitter calling him a fraud and shit. He seemed scared actually. Moses didn’t say any other details, of course, but it’s clear that he’s hiding something.”
Teeleah: “He’s probably scared that she’s gonna leak the fact that he slept with her. You know how they are with the media getting wind of their business.”
Dana: “Humph, ain’t that the truth…You’re probably right. I should’ve thought of that before I almost caused all hell to break loose.” *lauging*
Teeleah: “Ha, it’s ok girl….Shit, lets get out of here. All this drama just made me hungry.”
Dana: “Yesss…Let’s go to to this new soul food restaurant that just opened. I need some Mac n Cheese in my life right now.”
We left the shop and headed for the restaurant like we planned. I definitively didn’t expect all this stress today. While I’m glad I have Dana’s support, I’m unsure about Levi. I’m know he’ll come around but in the meantime, I can’t let it affect me. As for Moses hiding shit or them initially believing that this is all too convenient, I’m not going down that road. I can’t let speculations ruin my relationship so unless something concrete pops up, I’m not going to pay it any mind.