A Public Partridge Service Announcement!
The Partridge Family Temple supports Transformation Rights. It’s not a popular subject and causes outright outrage and confusion. The Partridge Family Temple understands and welcomes anyone who would like to experience Transformation.
Unfortunately The Partridge Family Temple understands that many people do not support Transformation Rights. When Jack Tripper lived with Chrissy and Janet, Mr. Roper constantly wanted Jack to transform into a straight man so he could kick him out and try to mentally and spiritually molest the inhabitants of that peaceful apartment. Mr. Roper would never support a hermetically sealed bathroom. But Jack Tripper was an amazing cook and you need to be an amazing cook to transform lead into gold.
One day Jack Tripper prepared a Squared the Circle Casserole for supper for Chrissy and Janet and Janet gave Mrs. Roper some leftovers. When Mr. Roper ate the leftovers, he was transformed and became Mr. Furley. In fact when he woke up, Mrs. Roper was no longer there nor were her robes. If you’d like to know more, there are caves holding Dead Sea Scrolls that no one yet has found.
Keith Partridge and Laurie Partridge are Brother and Sister but they are also so much more. If you have a microscope and you put a drop of honey on it, you’l see millions of Keiths and Lauries having sex as the honey drop grows bigger and stickier with Transformation.
As Transformation Rights cause more and more unrest, The Partridge Family Temple beseeches you to meditate upon a Man who stood in an empty field in Anaheim and saw something where people saw nothing. This Man who ate chili from a can saw a Kingdom and so he Transformed these acres of land into a little place you may have heard about called Disneyland.
UN FACT: Some people, plants and animals don’t need to Transform. They are perfect the way they are.
UN FACT: Brown Goblins do not like Transformation and are openly hostile to it’s teachings and application.
UN FACT: Come and knock on our door… (Come and knock on our door) We’ve been waiting for you…. (We’ve been waiting for you)
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his, Three’s company too.
Shirley Partridge wants everyone to remember that Three’s Company is TWO. And that’s why it’s ONE.
God commercial: The Partridge in the Pear Tree
God advertisement: Whale Song Partridge