I think privilege of all types is best described as assuming that everyone has the ability to make the same choices that you made, and ignoring the fact that for some people those options don’t even exist.
“Why didn’t she just tell him no and push him away? As a man, I have the physical strength and inherent social respect from other men to expect to be safe at all times, I’m sure she would have gotten the exact same response as I would have if she had done what I would have done.”
“Why didn’t he just go to college? As a student in an affluent neighborhood, I had access to AP classes, extra-curriculars, and guidance counselors who helped me apply to schools, I’m sure he did, too.”
“Why didn’t he just comply with the police? He wouldn’t have been shot if he did everything right. As a white person, I’m given the benefit of the doubt by authority figures and not immediately pre-judged as a violent criminal because of my appearance, I’m sure those cops were afraid of him because he chose to be scary, not because of racism.”
“Why does she always take the elevator? It’s only one flight of stairs! As an able-bodied person, I’m capable of doing physical activities without fear of hurting myself or exacerbating health problems, and anyone who doesn’t have an immediately visible reason for doing less than I do must be lazy.”