laying-in-a-field

– fifteen -

“I’ll let you drag me to hell if it means you’ll hold my hand.”


There’s this field behind my house, looks like it goes on for miles and miles. Covered in lush green that reaches to my scuffed up kneecaps and filled entirely with daisies. It is my most favorite place in the world. Mama yells at me for getting all dirty, Daddy yells at me for wasting the day away, but I don’t care. It is my most favorite place to be. I lay down in that field, watching the butterflies dance above me, the heat of the summer sun beating down over my skin. It’s so warm and quiet. So peaceful.

It is my special place. The place that I go to be me. Where my thoughts are my own, my dreams are real and my hopes seem true. The birds singing their pretty songs as they soar over me, my laughter ringing out from the tickles of the long grass as it blows against my skin in the light summer breeze. It’s where I lived to be, where I truly felt a sense of calmness. Where no matter what someone was forcing me to do, here, I was my own person. I mattered.

I can feel the warmth radiating through my skin, breathing in the clean fragrant air and letting it gently fill my lungs. I can hear the bees buzzing around me as they stop to visit the flowers that surround my sprawled out body. I can see the billowy white clouds forming familiar shapes as they float seamlessly through the bright blue Alabama sky.

I can feel it. I can really feel it. I am here.

There’s this field behind my house. It was my most favorite place in the world. It was where I felt free. Alive. Safe.


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Do you ever meet someone and you’re just like “wow, I want life with you. I want to take you on that first date that I will spend days planning. I want to take you on that second date that will still be just as nerve racking as the first. I want to share that first kiss with you that will stop my heart. I want to go on countless random adventures with you. I want to walk the streets at 3 a.m and talk about life with you. I want to lay in a field on a blanket with you, looking at the sky, and still think that it’s beauty doesn’t begin to compare to yours. I want to wake up in the middle of the night craving you and be able to turn over and have you right there. I want everything that life has to offer. The beautiful and good things and then scary and dark things. But I want it all with you.”

all I want is to lay in a field of dandelions where the world is quiet and the sun is shining and I am happy and content with my life without any stress or dread

Midwestern Transformers Aesthetic

Optimus Prime, laying on his stomach in a field and softly talking to a cow that’s grazing in front of him, completely ignoring him.

Run away with me. Stay in a cheap, outdated hotel with me because that’s the only place we can afford, and drive down the car-infested highways with me in a beat up old van and park in the middle of an dark, empty field with me and lay a blanket on the hood and let’s gaze at the diamond-encrusted sky for a couple of hours. The world is our movie theater, the fireflies our actors, the clouds our scenery, our eyes the cameras. Dance with me in the rain, and roll the windows down to let the summer breeze dry our clothes as we race down the back roads.
Drive into the city with me. Let’s explore the dirty sidewalks of this concrete jungle and take pictures of our sparkling eyes and unkempt hair that glow in the light of the neon signs. Wear your fanciest clothes with me, and let’s have a night on the town window shopping and and dancing and telling secrets and pretending to own the world. We can’t afford to eat anywhere but the cheap diner with the crappy coffee, but we pretend like we’re in a 5-star restaurant, and with our imaginations, it is one.
Travel up the mountains and across the rivers with me. Let’s climb until our arms are sore and sunburnt, swim until our legs ache, and explore until we know every nook and cranny of the earth like the backs of our hands. No mountain is too high and no valley too low and no plain too wide when we explore together. We might not be able to afford fancy clothes and expensive things, but these kind of mind-broadening experiences are free and worth more than all the lamborghinis and louboutins in the world.
Run away with me. I promise you won’t regret a thing.
—  emvincible-b

nothing is good. i want alot of drugs and i want to lay in a big green field with dandelions and the sun in my eyes with tears running down my cheeks and i want to die and never remember

i took a mini road trip (like it’s not ten miles from my house lmao) to the poppy fields because they’re pretty and got hit hard with road trip au feels like

  • the kids going out to the fields and adrien can’t. stop. modelling.
  • marinette just freaking out at the beauty of it all and designing dresses and purses and hats and everything based on them
  • alya taking a million pictures for the Aesthetic™ and her insta feed is just endless poppies 
  • nino just lays in the middle of the field and has soft jams playing on a bluetooth speaker for them to set the Mood
  • it’s arguably the most peaceful moment of the entire road trip

and in case you’ve never seen california poppy fields:

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its canon that nico is insecure about his feelings and can’t express them the best sometimes. in fact, i think that when he finally felt brave enough to tell will, he wanted it to be as vague as possible, just a very hushed ti amo–and of course, it was in italian.

maybe it was in some of those quiet moments they shared. like right before they dozed off to sleep in the hades cabin or during one of their comforting hugs. maybe he just sighed it one day after a dangerous mission or mouthed it into wills hair when they were just giggling and laying in the strawberry fields.

either way, it was quiet and gentle and so absolutely genuine and will heard it and understood it no matter the way nico said it. and maybe will knew that he’d said it quietly for a reason, and so will said it back, not by words but by holding him closer

I love gentle things like having tea and sweets at midday, listening to melodic nature music, walking barefoot in the forest, cooking good food for loved ones, reading, falling asleep to the rain, walking through the misty dewy grass in the morning, waking up to bird songs, burning sweet candles, making friends with animals, picking wild berries in the summer, gardening, whistling back to the birds, running through fields of flowers, laying in the cold grass to watch the sunset, doing something sweet for a loved one, turning essential oils into bug repellant that also makes you smell like you are a part of nature, laying under a tree on a hot day and looking up at how the sun shines through the leaves, listening to bees buzz from flower to flower, and snuggling with a dog or cat.

There’s a scent of summer in the air and a hint of sadness in her heart.
But for once in ages, the sadness isn’t real. It’s only made out of the remains of all the past summers she spent crying. The sun was too bright to understand the darkness of her soul, only the rain could get her sorrow, and its drops matched her tears perfectly.
But this year is different, this summer will be different. She wants to lay down in a poppy field, she wants to waltz with the wind, she wants hand-in-hand runs on a golden beach, she wants ice-cream flavored kisses under the stars. There’s nothing to be sad about any longer. She has life ahead of her, and for once it looks fucking beautiful. She just needs to learn how to love the sun again. She just needs to get used to happiness again.
—  Summertime Sadness

How do I tell her that she inhabits my mind 24/7, whether I’m trying to sleep, drinking coffee, or driving my car- she is constantly on my mind. I want to be able to hold her hand, or kiss her forehead, I want to be able to lay in a soft field of grass and just talk about anything and everything. When she doesn’t text me- it makes me miss her more and more, and I feel silly for feeling that way. I know she has better things to do then wait by her phone. But I just want her. I want to know what she’s thinking, what’s she’s doing- how she feels. I only want her to feel happy and hate knowing that I cannot do anything to stop the pain she’s going through. I want the good & the bad that comes with her- she’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more. It scares the hell out of me because it seems she doesn’t want the same and I know I’ll probably get hurt but I just want to try. I need to try. I don’t want anybody but her, nobody can compare. If only I could tell her, how do I tell her?

Does anyone else ever get really sad because they’re not living the life they want to live? I want to go on adventures. I want to drive to the beach to watch the sunrise at 6 a.m with coffee and breakfast. I want to explore new cities and try new foods. I want to roam through the woods and swim under waterfalls. I want to lay in the middle of a field with a 6 pack and stare up at the stars. There’s so much I want to do yet here I am not doing any of it. 

when i’m thinking about you

i imagine:

 I. 

  • buying you clothes. not because i don’t like the ones you’re owning but because i love the idea of you thinking about me when putting them on and maybe them becoming your favourite ones.
  • writing little messages and leaving them on places where you’ll find them eg on the kitchen table so you see them when you wake up and have to leave for school
  • going on trips with you. maybe riding a tandem and just randomly take breaks to lay in the fields or on a meadow. or simply going for a walk in the city or in my hometown
  • visiting museums and other places we both find interesting
  • going to the theatre, a ballet performance, a concert, a movie or an event we both would enjoy
  • doing the above even if i may not be interested but getting excited nonetheless because you’re enjoying it
  • laying in your arms while you read out a book to me
  • me returning the favour by reading something to you.
  • you talking about something you’re passionate about and me seeing your eyes sparkle
  • doing the dishes with you while we sing together
  • watching you while you’re cooking something
  • you laughing about me while i fail at preparing a meal (and me laughing even louder)
  • me being desperate because you might have a problem too big for me to help you with so i only can watch you trying to cope with it while i’m trying to comfort and support you
  • getting sad because you’re sad
  • getting happy because you’re happy
  • arguing about things
  • being mad at you (but not for a long time because i couldn’t)
  • showing each other books, music, movies,… we enjoy
  • laughing and ‘arguing’ because our opinions on these might be very different
  • seeing you only for what seems to be twice a day because you (and me) might have so much to do and me only entering your room once in a while to give you a little kiss and something to eat and drink
  • stroking your hair
  • getting to know each millimeter of your body
  • listening to your stories
  • taking photos of you
  • hard, fast and short sex
  • soft, slow and long-lasting sex
  • just watching you while you’re doing something
  • or watching you while you’re sleeping
  • watching you in general
  • laying in the garden of my family’s house watching the stars
  • laying in the bed of my childhood with you
  • looking at old photos of and with you
  • getting to know your family
  • kisses of every kind
  • carrying a photo of you with me
  • travelling with you
  • feeling your hands on me
  • feeling your lips on me
  • talking to you for hours and hours
  • complimenting you
  • being silent with you
  • getting to know your good and your best sides
  • getting to know your bad and your worst sides
  • sharing the best moments
  • sharing the worst moments
  • sharing a life 
  • cuddling
  • sleeping next to you
  • caring for you when you’re sick
  • reminding you of the fact that you’re perfect in every single way
  • getting to know your friends
  • bringing you to appointments and picking you up
  • visiting you at work because you might have forgotten something at home and i’m getting it for you
  • talking to you on the phone
  • writing you a letter
  • driving a car with you
  • taking a bath with you
  • going swimming with you
  • making fun of each other 
  • bantering and badgering each other
  • being bugged by the other one
  • helping you
  • comforting you
  • making you happy
  • making you laugh
  • supporting you
  • writing you a love letter
  • reading your texts
  • brushing our teeth together
  • being comfortable with your body functions
  • holding your hand
  • caressing you
  • massaging you
  • being in love with your entirety

II. 

  • cutting your (finger-) nails
  • listening to all the little and big stories and memories of yours
  • loving the things you think of as neglibilitys of yours
  • doing things together which we both hate and exchanging those special telling and funny looks
  • laughing together
  • waking up next to you
  • getting to know every small detail about your personality, your behaviour and the way you live
  • loving the things you hate about yourself
  • falling for things you don’t even recognize about yourself
  • getting to know all the different (little) nuances of your voice and your facial expressions
  • getting educated by you
  • missing you
  • making you gifts
  • sitting in the same room with you while we both work calmly and without talking but still enjoying each other’s presence
  • simply going somewhere with you in a way everyone will know that we are a couple (e.g. holding hands while we amble through the city)
  • breakfast in bed
  • getting into a routine with you
  • letting you room to breathe, to distance yourself, to grow

III.

  • making a pilgrimage with you
  • teaching you something new
  • making you see things in a different way/ making you see new, unknown things
  • you being my tour guide in my home town and getting to know all the facts about it and it’s history
  • feeling your breath on my skin
  • knowing about your favourite and your detested foods and dishes
  • letting my fingers wander over your body, your skin, your spine
  • knowing when to leave you alone
  • feeling the movement of your muscles when you move (e.g. letting my hand rest on your waist while you’re walking)
run away with me

“Run away with me. Stay in a cheap, outdated hotel with me because that’s the only place we can afford, and drive down the car-infested highways with me in a beat up old van and park in the middle of a dark, empty field with me and lay a blanket on the hood and let’s gaze at the diamond-encrusted sky for a couple of hours. The world is our movie theater, the fireflies our actors, the clouds our scenery, our eyes the cameras. Dance with me in the rain, and roll the windows down to let the summer breeze dry our clothes as we race down the back roads. Drive into the city with me. Let’s explore the dirty sidewalks of this concrete jungle and take pictures of our sparkling eyes and unkempt hair that glow in the light of the neon signs. Wear your fanciest clothes with me, and let’s have a night on the town window shopping and and dancing and telling secrets and pretending to own the world. We can’t afford to eat anywhere but the cheap diner with the crappy coffee, but we pretend like we’re in a 5-star restaurant, and with our imaginations, it is one. Travel up the mountains and across the rivers with me. Let’s climb until our arms are sore and sunburnt, swim until our legs ache, and explore until we know every nook and cranny of the earth like the backs of our hands. No mountain is too high and no valley too low and no plain too wide when we explore together. We might not be able to afford fancy clothes and expensive things, but these kind of mind-broadening experiences are free and worth more than all the lamborghinis and louboutins in the world. Run away with me. I promise you won’t regret a thing.”

10

Unveiling the Mandelbrot Set.

Back in the 1970s and 1980s, mathematicians working in an area called dynamical systems made use of the ever-advancing computing power to draw computer images of the objects they were working on. What they saw blew their minds: fractal-like structures whose beauty and complexity is only rivalled by Nature itself. At the heart of them lay the Mandelbrot set, which today has achieved fame even outside the field of dynamics. 

The Mandelbrot set is a fractal. Fractals are objects that display self-similarity at various scales. Magnifying a fractal reveals small-scale details similar to the large-scale characteristics. Although the Mandelbrot set is self-similar at magnified scales, the small scale details are not identical to the whole. In fact, the Mandelbrot set is infinitely complex. Yet the process of generating it is based on an extremely simple equation involving complex numbers.

The Mandelbrot set is an incredible object that equals infinity. It’s really amazing that the simple iterated equation Z = Z^2 + C can produce such beautiful works of mathematical art.