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You know Bey really be feeling shit when them fingers get to snapping. And who knew the crypt keeper had moves. I’m suprise them brittle bones didn’t give out.

Bioware Ladies Ranked by How Bullshit It Is You Can't Romance Them As A Female Character

1. Tali’Zorah Vas Normandy – Tali is so obviously into FemShep that it’s not even funny. The only possible excuse for this one is that they’re mutually pining for each other and too scared of rejection to see it through (which would be out of character for Shepard regardless of how you play her, so nah). Additionally, I am forever salty that someone who’s just so damn cute can’t be smooched as a Lady.

2. Cassandra Pentaghast – Have you seen her haircut? Her muscles? God damn.

3. Morrigan – Morrigan’s open and absolute distaste for men is such an overwhelming sign of lesbianism that it makes me question what the writers for Dragon Age were even thinking when they made her character. Were they thinking? I have my doubts.

4. Jack – Jack literally admits to having had past romantic and/or sexual encounters with both men and women, so it makes zero% sense that FemShep can’t romance her.

5. Bastila Shan – Bastila and KOTOR’s protag are quite literally soul mates. I really don’t need to say anything else.

6. Dawn Star – “Childhood Friends Having a Crush on Each Other and Growing Up To Explore Those Feelings, But Lesbians” would have made such a good arc, y’all.

7. Miranda Lawson – Other people have made this point before but it’s still valid so it’s unrealistic that the “genetically-engineered-to-be-perfect human being” would be straight (or British, for that matter).

8. Cora Harper – I think there’s a fan comic or something floating around out there about this but you Do Not roll with Asari commandos and come out the other side completely straight.

9. Ashley Williams – I can’t really think of any reasons why Ashley should be romanceable as FemShep other than that you can’t be straight in space, but that’s still pretty compelling.

10. EDI – I actually kind of understand not being able to romance EDI, and in fact I’m happy for her and Joker. That said, I’m still upset on principle alone that I don’t get to smooch a Robot Lady.