lawd what is this man doing to me

To The Hommie Who Asked: BTS Members Who Would Eat You Out Vs. Wanna Be Sucked Off.....

okie so first off I personally think that all of them would like getting head bc almost every guy is down for getting his knob polished… WITH THAT BEING SAID I FEEL LIKE ONLY A FEW OF THEM WOULD ENJOY GOING DOWN ON YOU…THIS IS FROM MOST TO LEAST LIKELY (1 BEING MOST LIKELY AND 7 LEAST LIKELY)…..

1.RAP MONSTER- THIS KINKY LITTLE SHIT IS GONNA EAT YOU FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER… ALL OF THESE YEARS OF WATCHING PORN ARE ABOUT TO PAY OFF… JUST LOOK AT THAT TONGUE… I SEE THE SIN IN THOSE EYES AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO SEE STARS….

2.jIMIN-OMG OMG WHERE DO I EVEN START… FIRST OF ALL JIMIN IS SEX ON LEGS… LIKE HAVE YOU SEE HOW FLEXIBLE THIS BOY IS?? FLDFAKLF..HIS TONGUE WOULD BEND IN ALL KINDS OF WAYS ALL UP IN YOUR PINATA…I’M LIKE 10000% SURE HE’S GONNA MAKE YOU CUM LIKE 4 TIMES BC HE CAN ……FUCKING LITTLE TEASE…. OUT OF ALL OF THOSE MUSCLES HIS TONGUE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT * DRINKS WATER*  I NEED JESUS… 

3. JIN- IF THIS BOY EATS THIGH PIE LIKE HE EATS FOOD YOU’RE PROBABLY GONNA PASS OUT WITHIN LIKE 4 MINUEST BC LIKE DAMN BOI CAN EAT…HE’S GONNA BE ALL UP IN THAT PINATA…I FEEL LIKE HE IS CARING AND MOTHERLY AND DADDY AF THAT HE’S GONNA MAKE SURE YOU’RE THOROUGHLY INSPECTED YA KNOW FOR SCIENCE…PLUS HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE LIPS JUST IMAGINE THEM ON YOUR LADY FAN LIKE FJVLKAJFVAF *FANS SELF*

4.JUNGKOOK- I FEEL LIKE KOOKIE WOULD BE VERY SHY AT FIRST BECAUSE HE IS A LITTLE INEXPERIENCED (OR SO WE THINK) BUT ONCE HE WORKED UP THE COURGE THIS BOY WOULD WORK YOU’RE LADY PARTS LIKE A BICYCLE… LET’S BE HONEST THEY DON’T CALL HIM THE GOLDEN MAKNE FOR NOTHING….JUST LOOK AT THAT CUTE LITTLE TONGUE… IT’S GONNA BE ALL UP IN YOUR TREASURE CHEST…. 

5.JHOPE-OKIE THIS LITTLE ANGLE IN DISGUISE IS ALL ABOUT MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE YOU JUST WON THE LOTTERY AND LOST 16 POUNDS LIKE HIS TOUNGE IS GENTLE AND PRECISE AND *HEAVY BREATHING* I NEED A MINUET TO PROCESS THIS BC KJFVADFVKL… BASICALLY HE IS HERE FOR YOU AND GURL HE’S GONNA EAT YOU LIKE HE’S BEEN STARVED FOR YEARS… JUST LOOK AT IT!! ARE YOU LOOKING AT IT??? 


6.V- OKIE SO TAE WOULD BE ALL ABOUT GOING DOWN ON YOU IF YOU ARE MAKING LOVE LIKE HE’S GONNA MAKE SURE YOU’RE SCREAMING HIS NAME SO LOUD THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN… HOWEVER IF IT’S JUST EVERYDAY SEX HE WOULD  “GET DOWN TO BUINESS AND SKIP FOREPLAY”… LIKE HE WOULD BE SO INTO MAKING YOU CUM LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN THAT HE WOULD DIRTY TALK YOU’RE EAR OFF… *POURS HOLY WATER ON SELF* LAWD HAVE MERCY…. 

7.SUGA-YOONGI WOULD PREFER TO USE HIS FINGERS BECAUSE HIS MOUTH WOULD EITHER BE ON YOUR CHEST,NECK OR LIPS… THIS BOY WOULD PLAY YOU LIKE A PIANO YOU WOULDN’T EVEN MIND THAT HE DOESN’T USE HIS MOUTH BC YOU’RE TOO BUSY FALLING APART UNDER HIS SKILLFUL FINGERS… THE MAN IS GOOD WITH HIS HANDS…. HE ISN’T A HAND MAN FOR NOTHING… JUST LOOK AT THOSE FINGERS.. I SEE YOU YOONGI… 

AGAIN THIS IS MY OPINION… SO LET MY KNOW WHAT YOU THINK… DO YOU AGREE? WHY OR WHY NOT?…..BE MY HOMMIE AND THIRST WITH ME…. 

TO THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS HERE YOU GO DEAR SORRY IT TOOK A LITTLE LONGER… 

Behold The Manliest of Men!

Customer (who is a man): Yeah hi, I’m looking for a lip balm, do you guys carry that?

Me: Yes we certainly do, they’re right over here!  Tell me, what kind of a lip balm were you looking for?

(Super manly) Customer: Oh you know, something not effeminate 

Me: Well there’s nothing wrong with effeminate stuff

Customer (MANLY OVER 9000!!): Well I have a penis and I need a lip balm that says that

Me: 

anonymous asked:

Gladio saunters into the living room, bookmarking his spot in the novel he's reading. He tosses it on the coffee table, stretches while simultaneously scratching the back of his head, a low groan coming from his throat. He sees you laxing on the couch and a devious idea unfolds in his mind. "Hey, Hypaa," he murmurs, "let's make some cookies. I'm gonna need some dessert after I've finished devouring you spread-eagle on the countertop."

*drops everything on the ground*

EXCUSE

TF

OUT

OF

ME

Gladio, how you just gonna roll up in here and … you know what? Fuck it

Madea's Monologue

This is what I learned all these years on this earth. If somebody wants to walk out of your life, let them go. Especially if you know you’ve done everything you can do. You sat around and have been the best man or the best woman you can be and they still want to go, let them go. Whatever they’re running after, they’ll see what they had in a minute but by the end, its gonna be too late. Cuz you sit there and you go half this people you’ve been sitting around, crying about them, worrying about them, but two or three years from now you wont even remember their last name. How many times have you seen folks going, What the hell was I thinking?let folks go, sonny.

Some people come in your life for a lifetime, some come for a season. You gotta know which is which. And you’re always going to mess up when you mix them seasonal people with lifetime expectations. They got people who got married with people they were only suppose to be with for a season and they’re wondering why they’re having so much hell in their life. That was suppose to be a person that was suppose to come and teach you one thing and you didn’t know it so you just fell in love and now you wonder why you ain’t got no peace nowhere you go. No no. listen. I put everybody that come in my life in a category of a tree. Some people are like leaves on a tree. The wind blows, they’re over here, they’re unstable. It blows another way, they’re over here. Seasons change and they wither and die. They’re gone. That’s all right. Most people in the world are like that. They are just there to take from the tree. They are only there to take and give shade every now and then. That’s all they can do. But don’t get mad at people like that. That’s who they are, a leaf. Some people are like branch on the tree. You gotta be careful with them branches too cuz they will fool you. They’re gonna make you think they’re a good friend and they’re real strong, but the minute you step out there on them, they’ll break and leave you high and dry. But if you find two or three people in your life that are like the roots at the bottom of that tree, you are blessed. Those are the kind of people that ain’t going nowhere. They ain’t worried about being seen. Don’t nobody need to know they know you. They ain’t gotta know what they’re doing for you. But if those roots are not there, that tree can’t live. Do you understand? A tree can have a hundred million branches but only have a few roots down there at the bottom to make sure it gets everything that it needs. I’m telling you sonny, when you get you some roots, hold on to them. but the rest of them, let them go. Let it go. Let folks go.

Ain’t nobody said its gonna be easy. But it’ll get easier when you learn how to love yourself. When you get to a point in your life where you look at people and you go Ok, wait a minute. You or me. You WILL make a decision. I’ve never told nobody Don’t bother me anymore, don’t talk to me no more. I’ve never done it. But what I do, is I tell them Look, this thing you’re doing right here, that’s gonna cause a problem. You need to fix that cuz if were going to be friends and were gonna be cool, you gotta fix that. And if you don’t, then were gonna have an issue. If you see somebody fix it or even TRYING to fix it, then that’s somebody that cares. Keep them people around. That’s a leaf that’s trying to grow up and be something else. You understand? But if you tell somebody that what you’re doing is hurting me and I need you to stop it and they keep on doing it, they don’t care. Move on. Let them go. No matter how much it hurts, let them go. And it’ll get easier. I promise you. Everyday, it’ll get easier and easier and easier. You just gotta make it through. You hearin me sonny? You see, you gotta learn to be by yourself, sonny. People need to learn how to be alone. I don’t understand all these people oh I NEED somebody. Lawd where’s my man? Lawd where’s my wife? That is crazy as hell! If you don’t know how to be by yourself, what are you going to do with somebody else? Stop praying about it. Shut up and wait. Go work on you. Hell, that’s what that time is for. To get yourself together. I’d rather be in a corner, by myself, with a puppy and a goldfish and be happy than to be sitting around with somebody in my house and I’m wondering, what the hell are they there for? You would be surprised of things people put up with just to have somebody say they love them. That’s crazy. I don’t understand that. I cant live in dysfunction. I’m sorry. You hear me sonny? Fa sho you better hear me fa sho.

My LT Experience: Alvin Ailey 5/1/2014

It all started with a pair of earrings …. And sooooo, I think we go together now. Pshhh, lol I wish it worked like that.

You guys, I am ecstatic! The workshop was amazing. Let’s start from the beginning. The BFF and I were signed up to dance for both sessions. I’ve been to workshops before but never tried to dance, so I said what the heck, let me give it a shot. So the twins are late as usual, what can we say? At this point, it’s to be expected. So they finally come in around 7pm and Larry is asking the class why we’re late? Clown! Laurent said he’s not late cus his class doesn’t start til 8pm. Love him! Anyway they begin the class and I notice that Amandy was there, so I go over to her and give her a hug. She was very gracious and even took a picture with me.

Anyway, BFF came late and she was tipsy from a little office party she had at work. Womp! At that point I said forget it for Larry’s class and I decided to just watch and then dance in Lau’s class. Larry’s class goes well, but you know, it was clear that the students just could not get a grasp of everything. He kept having to tell them to be quiet. There was a lot of talking and he said they had to focus. He wasn’t playing games. I’m here for it.

So now is THE MOMENT. It’s that transition period between Larry and Lau’s class and I’m like this is my chance. I was scared tho, I don’t know why. A bunch of people were trying to get to him and I thought maybe now was not the time. But BFF was like no, you better go over there, you won’t have another chance. So on a bold move, while he was talking to another girl, I came and gently grabbed his arm. I had a little gift bag in my hand and I said to myself, “self, you better take the gift out now so he can see what you’re getting him.” So I take the little teal box out. He turns to me and I open it for him. It took a second for realization to set in on him, but once it did, it was over! He said,

“my cross!”

LT Ladies, let me tell you how he made my night. He wrapped me up in those strong arms. I was pressed all up on him, and his sweat was seeping into my skin, (I’m, convinced I have his DNA in my system now, but BFF said that’s not how science works, lol). And then he goes,

“Finally a real gift!”

Larry! He know he wrong. I feel bad for everyone else that got him gifts. But I’m so happy that he loved mine. Anyway, he comes back for another hug and ladies, he completely engulfs me. I was immersed in him and I loved every second of it. He wrapped his leg around me yall. I was between his legs yall! *faints* His hands all in my hair. *savior help* My face was in the crevice of that strong tower he has for a neck and I was so tempted to just lick him. But I didn’t, lol, you know we gotta respect the man. But I def took a hefty whiff of that sweaty musk, it was sooooo sweet. And then we finally pulled back and I asked him for a kiss and he gave me the sweetest sweetest kiss on my cheek with those pillow soft lips. *lawd have mercy*

I was trying to tell him what else was in the bag but he said he didn’t care and he just like ripped the bag out of my hands. He said that he thought he could just get another one but that they were hard to find. And he’s right, they were sold out or not available in a lot of places, but I really wanted to get them for him, so I found it thank God.

Oh Larry, my LarLar, my LarBear. I love Lau, I do, but I guess it’s safe to say that I’m a Larry girl by default now. From the earrings to meeting him after Bey’s concert, and the toothpaste incident and now this…I’m all in my Larry feels now.

Wooooo! That was too real. I’m sure yall think I have a camera crew following me, but no my BFF is just great at capturing these moments. She comes out of the woodworks with the camera, paparazzi style. And I’m so thankful. The video is floating around here somewhere, so you can def take a look.

Okay, moving  on moving on, moving on. Though it’s hard to move on from that. So Lau’s class starts and I’m a nervous wreck. My BFF was still tipsy so she left me hanging to dance solo. I told her the alcohol would probably make her dance better, but she wouldn’t have it. So womp for that. Anyway, we do the stretching and everything and then we get into the dance moves. I was able to get them for the most part, but that was all without music. Then Aaliyah’s “Try Again” comes on and I lose everything I just learned. I look at Lau and I’m like “is that what we just learned, cus that don’t look like what we just learned,” lol. Anyway, I tried my best and I’m so glad I gave it a shot. Who knows, maybe next time I might dance for both sessions.

Some other anecdotes, Lau is serious! He does not play. He was hard on us, he scared me a little….but I kinda liked it. It made me respect him. I love that he is serious about his craft. He kept saying that this wasn’t even really dancing for him. He had said he’s not going hard cus he’s saving his knee for the tour. But then, in the cypher, he did this incredible one knee spin that had me cringing. My mind immediately went to this one fic I’m reading where his knee is messed up, Mr. Two O’clock Appointment. You know these fanfics have a habit of coming true, and I hope this one doesn’t. Protect your body Lau, starting with your hair. But that’s another story.

At one point Lau started talking about how his mom said you can’t love anyone else unless you love yourself first, (wise words! I love how they always mention Mama B; you can tell that they admire her, its beautiful.) But then he goes, he only loves himself when he dances, not really at other times, and he loves his brother. I used to think he was kidding when he said stuff like that, but I’m thinking that he’s being real, and it breaks my heart. It’s obvious that there’s something going on with him internally and I would love to just speak to him and see where his mind is at. Pray for him yall.

So the performance segment begins and we do aiight, but this one guy in a purple hat and shirt absolutely kills it. He was captivating and I could not take my eyes off of him. Clearly Larry and I were on the same wavelength cus he jumped on him and bombarded him with accolades when they were done. (I have a vid of that that I’m gonna put up.)

Alright, meet and greet time. They were tryna make us take pictures 5 at a time. My BFF and I said womp for that and we got our solo pics with the boys. I was right up under Laurent, ooooh yesss!!! I told Larry not to lose the earrings this time, and he winked at me. Or tried to, yall know he can’t wink, but that’s ok.

So BFF and I leave and we wait outside for them. When they come out, we got a couple more pictures of them. And then we waved goodbye and watched them walk out into the night, and that was the end of a wonderful night. Thank You God!

Something else I want to add, I’m sure yall know by now that Ms. Jessica Aidi was there. She is stunning. I spoke a little French to her and she said that my French was really good. I have some pics to share with yall. At some points during the workshop, Lau would call her “SiSi” and throw his stuff at her for her to hold. I thought it was kinda cute.

Honest moment, I half way thought that Aimee would be there. You know I can’t keep up with Lau’s women. I wouldn’t mind meeting Aimee, I know we not really here for her in the fandom though. But I’m glad that it was Jessica that was there. She was super sweet. She took some pictures with me and gave me 2 kisses on my cheek French style. Is it ok to say that I have a little baby girl crush on her?

Sidebar: I wonder what Lau is telling these girls, I’m sure they know about each other. But *shrug* he’s a ladies man, what can we say?

Alright my loves, I know that this was suuuuuper long. But I hope you enjoyed sharing this experience with me. I had an absolute blast! I hope to always hold on to these wonderful memories. I love the LT fandom so much, you ladies rock. Please stay tuned, I shall be posting some videos and photos up a little bit later today.

Bisous my loves!

Blessings

LTFirstLady

SURPRISE =]

true confessions [short]

Robyn

From the moment we confessed our feelings for each other, we’d agreed to pretend for a little while thinking of a good plan on how to tell our parents. Other than that, we’re just two normal people in a new relationship. Though it’s more like making up for the time we refused to cave in our feelings in the past if I may add.

We’ve spent the last twenty-four hours together doing nothing but talking. Kissing. Lots and lots of dreamy, long and delicious kissing. Which of course leads to touching and then that leads to sex.

Lots and lots of sex.

We haven’t left his apartment since he came to pick me up from my shoot. I already shot my mom a quick text and she asked if I was with Chris and I told her yes. Of course she didn’t object. If only she knew what we have been doing…

Conflicted—we all feel that way, I think.

But I pushed the conflict aside and focused on the positive. Chris with me. Over me. Inside me. Whispering hot words in my ear when he pulls me in close. How he touches me so reverently, the way he holds me when we sleep. Not that there’s been much sleep going on…

Being with him constantly like this, I can’t concentrate. Since he admitted his feelings for me, I’ve been in a constant state of arousal I can’t control. I have never been so…needy. I look at him and he’s all I can think about. Funny how I believed for a fleeting moment I was interested on some other guys.

The way I feel for Chris can’t compare to any glimmer of attraction I’d had with my past boyfriends.

We’re at a restaurant now. He ran out of food in his apartment and we were starving, so we finally made our escape. Plus, I thought it might be good to be out in public with real people versus naked and rolling around in his bed all day and night.

Staring at him from across the table, I realize pretty quickly being out in public like real people is totally overrated.

“What do you want to order?” His head is bent as he reads over the menu. His hair getting my attention. I wonder when he last got a haircut. I like his curls longer though. It’s easier for me to run my fingers through and grip when I kiss him.

 

“I don’t know.” I sound breathless, I feel breathless, but he doesn’t notice. He props his elbow on the table, absently scratches his temple with his index finger, and I remember exactly what that index finger can do. How he circled my nipples with that finger, how he slipped it between my legs, drenched it with my wetness and then brought it up to his mouth, licking it, tasting me, his gaze never leaving mine…

 

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