law school love

Top ten quotes from law school, week one:

  1. “So the rules thus far are ‘don’t be late’ and ‘don’t be absent from class,’ unless you are absent because of circumstances outside your control. In that case, notify me before class. If I walk in here and you are not in your seat, and I don’t already know why that is the case… I will assume that you are dead. We will hold a brief service in your memory and then continue on, as we know you would want.”
  2. “Yeah I mean if you don’t know the answer that’s fine, but I’m gonna make you pick the next person I call on. It’s a social experiment I run. I like to see if people pick their friends or their enemies. Wildly amusing. Anyway, be prepared for that.”
  3. “So as the plaintiff’s counsel, you review all the possible venues and pick the one that’s the fairest to everyone….. haaaaahahaha I’m just kidding. You rig the court in your favor as much as you possibly can.”
  4. “You’re supposed to go to a basement during a tornado. Why don’t y'all have basements?” “Can’t watch from a basement” “You’re going to die”
  5. “My own law professor once described admiralty jurisdiction as ‘shit that happens on boats’ so [writes ‘boat shit’ on the board]”
  6. “So then Congress gave itself a raise and America shouted, ‘Give it back you evil bastards!!!’ so loudly that they did.”
  7. “I will provide you with pizza. For beverages, you’re on your own, but please abide by university policy. Which is that we can’t have FUN.”
  8. “And WHAT do we find outside the cities????? C O W S”
  9. “All the desks on the third floor are reserved for 3Ls in practice court. Since you’re dying like, 100% of the time, they kindly give you a place to die. Sometimes you can see the lost souls wandering past the balconies….”
  10. [makes a list of twenty-four things that could go wrong] [writes TRUMP in all caps as number twenty-five]

09/08/2017 Hey guys! Today I went to my dorm room because it just got painted in whiteeeeeeee! I’m so happy because it looks so fresh and clean. :) So I decided to clean everything, redecorate etc. Can’t wait to show you more pictures. 

Finally got around to making a 6 armed Bill, and realized frat boy was the only way to go. So throw on your toga and come to Tri Delta Δ Δ Δ 

This universe is gonna learn how to party!

You’ve heard of elf on the shelf now get ready for

anonymous asked:

I know my mom is biased BUT she’s been nagging lately that I won’t make it far as an atty bc I don’t look the part. The usual: “you need to lose weight, clean up your acne, start wearing makeup & heels bc the only women who make it are the pretty ones who suck up to important men.” It’s gotten to the point where I’m actually doubting myself every time I hear stories about women getting outfits & no makeup & heels critiques from jobs/mock interviews/judges. How much do looks really matter?

Hi, can you have your mom call me so I can yell at her? I’ll conference call in @pdxjenni so it can be (squad) mom to mom, if I have to. 

First of all - I think she’s using the fact that you want to be an attorney to push her own agenda onto you (the weight and the makeup thing) because literally neither of those things have anything to do with being an attorney. I am not skinny. @angrybabylawyer often doesn’t wear makeup to work. We are both still good lawyers. 

Second - If the only way you make it as an attorney is by sucking up to important men, you’re a bad attorney. Hell, I think you’re a bad person. You should make it as an attorney because you’re a good god damn attorney. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be polite and courteous and all that other be-a-good-human-being bullshit, it just means you shouldn’t go out of your way to suck up to a dude just because he’s a dude. 

Finally - we’re all fucked, no matter what we do. Every lawyer I know has been told conflicting things on what to wear and how to dress because (here’s the secret) it’s not actually about how we look, it’s about people in power feeling they have a right to tell us how we need to look to fit their model of what a female attorney looks like. Fuck ‘em.

You know what my goal is? To be such a good god damn attorney that I can do whatever the fuck I want because that’s how good I am that I make the rules. 

1 | Tomorrow

WORD COUNT: 3,568 ?


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Looking up at the man you loved with all of your heart, you found yourself smiling like an idiot as he spoke, his deep alluring voice as smooth as ever, captivating you entirely,
“I’m so proud of you Y/N. I can’t think of anybody else who deserves this more than you do.”
Taehyung said as he smiled lovingly in your direction.

Taehyung was your boyfriend of 5 years, the two of you met in law school and fell in love almost instantly. He was everything you’d ever hoped for in a significant other, he was funny, incredibly smart and attentive, and the fact he was chiselled perfection and handsome as hell didn’t go a miss either. Tonight you were celebrating your new job, after years of bending over backwards and trying your god damn hardest you were finally a lawyer. Taehyung was the reason you even managed to get an interview at the Jeon law firm, he was a specialist lawyer at the firm mentioned how you had just graduated and were looking for a job, after a successful interview low and behold you’d made it.

“Stop it,” you whined “The only reason I got this job was because of you… Thank you.” You placed a firm hand on his shoulder as you leaned in, over the table to kiss him, the two of you had drank maybe a little too much wine considering your first day in the office was only hours away.
Taehyungs lips gently pressed against yours, he cupped your face in his large hands as he deepened the kiss, your tongues danced together in perfect harmony. There was no denying you were in love with him.

“Shit, don’t kiss me,” Taehyung whispered with wide, offended eyes as he pulled away from you, his chocolate brown hair swishing from side to side with his movements,
“My girlfriend is a big time lawyer now, she works for Jeon law firm, you might even know her? You know she will kill-” Your amused mouth crashing against his stopped him mid sentence, he was always cracking funny jokes and making you belly laugh into hysterics, it was one of your favourite things about him.

Suddenly his strong arms pulled you onto his lap, almost knocking over the empty bottle of wine that sat quietly on the dining table. His hands roamed your body from your hips to your collarbones, never missing a single inch. The moment the skin of his smooth fingers made contact with your shoulders and ultimately unclasped your red bra strap you knew exactly where the night would be taking you.

Keep reading

it is i, your friendly neighborhood law student, still pissed as fuck

so last semester and the semester before that, I opened up my inbox to anyone who wanted information about immigration law, since that’s what I was studying

and now I’m in my experiential learning class focusing on immigration and this bullshit with DACA happened

so I am once again allowing anyone to ask me questions about immigration law in general or DACA specifically, including but not limited to:

  • why jeff sessions is a lying sack of shit
  • why it’s fucking bizarre that he made that announcement at all
  • what DACA actually is (was) and what it does (did)
  • why the Dumpster Fire is allowed to do this (legally)
  • what’s going on with Congress
  • why anything that Donglebert Trumpeldink says about his decision is a fucking lie
  • anything I covered in my previous posts about immigration and asylum law
  • and much, much more

note that this is not intended as legal advice and i am not a lawyer (i’m definitely not your lawyer). consult with a real lawyer if you’re in legal danger, don’t use me in a court case. 

what you can use my stuff for:

  • winning a facebook argument
  • educating your racist uncle fred
  • learning new shit you didn’t know before because learning is fun
  • knowing what to put on a protest sign so you’re not being inaccurate
  • basically anything that’s not “but someone on the internet told me I could do that”

here’s my inbox, knock yourselves out

7 Ways to treat yourself after a busy day of studying

1. Take a walk around the neighborhood and stop at a cosy cafe for a nice cup of hot chocolate. You deserve it!
2. Call your friends and go to the cinema to watch a new cool movie. Or plan a nice movie date for the weekend.
3. Order that book you’ve been wanting to buy in a webshop and look forward to finding it in the mail in a few days.
4. Have a disney movie marathon. Or a Walking dead one. Whatever you like!
5. Take an extra long shower with your favorite products, or even better; have a bath and soak in there for a few hours with a magazine.
6. Order food from your favorite restaurant. Enjoy it on the couch in your pj’s. 
7. Walk in the forest, fields, or any place with nature. Relax and connect with the earth. Pick some flowers if that’s possible, to brighten up your room.

anonymous asked:

So, 2L here. Started dating my bf right b4 1L. Lately he's starting to get pissed at me when he talks about work & stuff. He'll start saying how someone is annoying him because they don't do anything & I'll say "okay but what if..." or he'll talk about a problem and I'm like "ok you just need to..." He thinks I'm taking the other person's side & I swear I'm not. He just wants me to commiserate but that always pops out of my mouth & idk if it's me or law school but either way fuck law school

Congratulations! Law School Has Ruined You! 

You win the stellar prize of not being able to just say “yeah that sucks” and have reaped the benefits of being trained to argue both sides of everything! 

Your prize also comes with the complimentary gift of an affinity for alcoholism; crushing student debt; and making your family question your moral compass.  

Bahorel v. His Inner Lawyer
  • He has to throw away an entire month’s worth of notes because he realized he was writing them on a legal pad.
  • He uses the phrase “I object!” in conversation and then stares into the mirror for five straight minutes until he whispers “who am I?”
  • He refers to the law school as “Hell” or “The Dark Place” or “The Dragon’s Lair.”
  • He refers to the dean of the law school as “Satan” or “The Dragon” or “The Destroyer of All That Is Good And Pure In This World.”
  • He doesn’t say “lawyer.” Instead, he says “the l word.”
  • Feuilly uses his law textbook against him much like one would use the Bible against a vampire.
  • Every time he touches his law textbook, he has to immediately wash his hands.
  • Whenever his friends need legal advice, he leaves anonymous notes, cut-out-letters ransom note style. Everyone knows that it’s him, but they don’t say anything. They don’t want to offend him by acknowledging the fact that he goes to law school.