“My mother was a rape victim. She got pregnant and she had me, so yeah it was personal. I think I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that that’s the biggest reason that I decided to become a cop, you know, to join SVU. I used to think it was because I wanted to do something good you know, make a difference.”
get to know me meme: favourite female characters 1/5 —> detective olivia benson (law and order svu)
Day 1: Favorite Detective - Detective/Sergeant Olivia Benson
“My mother was a rape victim. She got pregnant and she had me, so yeah it was personal. I think I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that that’s the biggest reason that I decided to become a cop, you know, to join SVU. I used to think that it was because I wanted to do something good you know, make a difference.”
- Olivia Benson, “Inheritance” (3.08)
Detective Stabler: The difference between you and all the victims is you can walk away. Detective Olivia Benson: (whispers) No I can’t.
- Olivia Benson, “Futility” (4.22)
“The truth is everybody changes everyday and some things are more devastating than others. But we never are the same and there are two ways to deal with these changes, you either accept them or you fight them like hell all the way.”
-Olivia Benson, “Closure” (1.10)
P.S. None of these images are mine.
P.S.S. I don’t know what episode that second quote is from, if you know please tell me!
What does their bedroom look like? Fancy-ass Rafi is one classy mother-respecter, and this extends even to how his bedroom looks. It’s nothing expensive, but there’s a sleek mahogany dresser, probably a small chest for cufflinks, and a nice full-length mirror. For what few decorations he does allow on the walls, they’re likely small versions of posters of two or three Broadway shows he’s fond of, tastefully framed and arranged. Closet is filled with his immaculate suits and he has so many ties that he has them on a motorized tie rack. Bedframe is a simple yet nevertheless quaint matching mahogany with plush comforting and several decorative pillows. And bottom line, everything is so freaking organized and neatly folded. Even his college sweats. Even his socks.
Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.) I think it’s safe enough to say that we can all agree that Rafael Barba is one clean and orderly man. The only time his desk ever gets considerably out of order is when he’s working on a particularly taxing case and case files and law books get stacked all over the place.
Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time Rafael Barba is not really one to waste time. Hell, even breaks are something of an oddity for him. He’s no-nonsense and knows that there’s always something that must be done. If not, he’ll look for something that needs to be done until he’s assured that there’s nothing left. From this, we can tell that he simply. Doesn’t. Waste. Time.
Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such? As neat and tidy as he is, it’s not from neurosis or anything. But I think it’s practically canon that Rafi has a caffeine addiction and will fight anyone who dares suggest he divorce himself from it.
Favorite book genre? Cliche as it sounds, I see Rafael enjoying the classics. Particularly political ones like Brave New World or even Animal Farm. However, he is especially fond of Slaughterhouse Five by Vonnegut to the point of referencing it and occasionally quoting it, only to be a bit sheepish or surprised when nobody else gets it. Poor nerd.
What do they think about before falling asleep at night? Poor busy bee: Most of the buzzing going on in this man’s head as he falls asleep are the things he has to do the next day. If he’s on a particularly grueling case, however, we’re making the assumption that he’s even going to sleep at all instead of staying up raking over counterarguments and ways to get the upper hand.
Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? First, he would ask you why you gave him this stuff. Once you tell him to do something with it, he might sarcastically write down, “What is this for??” Or just give you his coffee and pastry order and slide you $10 and return back to work.
Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout? Honestly, I can’t help but feel that if you were to ask him this in a personal setting, he might freeze up a bit. Because as orderly and hardworking as Rafael is, he honestly doesn’t know what he wants to do way ahead. He always just sort of focuses on this job. The idea of a family doesn’t seem right for him, but maybe it’s because of the crap Yelina put him through? Maybe it’s even because the horrors of his job has allowed him to realize just how much he wouldn’t want his children to be exposed to things he can’t definitely protect them from. The only thing he can decide on: Helping people.
Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do? Rafael’s job is riddled with extrapersonal shit and his usual responses can range anywhere from, “This might as well happen (goddammit!)” to “Fffffffffffffffff–” In the example that his place is on fire, he’d try to be composed but he’s likely going to be cussing up a storm in both English and Spanish. The stress will hit him hard and it’s likely that he’ll really need to take some time off to compose himself and stay with his mother until then.
What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time? As stated before, Rafael does not like the idea of wasting time. Therefore, he doesn’t see what he devotes his time to as a waste. On that note, he loves theater and catches a show whenever he can. He also likes trying out restaurants and eating the most interesting thing on the menu. Sometimes, he’ll even try making the simpler dishes at home (he’s a surprisingly skilled cook).
Superstitions or views on the occult? If I had been asked this before “Spellbound”, I would’ve assumed he didn’t believe all that much in the supernatural. After all, he seems like a many completely driven by logic. But post- “Spellbound”, it actually makes a bit of sense that he believes in some aspects of the paranormal. He was raised Catholic, after all. Ultimately, though, I think he tries to keep a cool head about it: There’s a lot that logic and science can explain, but some (a lot more) that logic and science can’t. Stick to what you can understand, and stay away from what you can’t comprehend. Bottom line: Rafael don’t mess with the occult and thinks anyone who does is crazy.
How do they express love? It depends on how long he’s known you and what sort of relationship you have. The main consistent thing is that he’ll assure that you’re taken care of: Make sure you’re eating well and not overwhelmed by anything. If it’s familial, he’s a lot more open with you. If it’s platonic, He tends to show more sarcastic affection that you’ll learn is actually very well-meaning over the years. After a certain point where he’s sure he can trust you, however, he’ll smile a lot more and be more open with you. Romantic expression is all this, but with more affection. He’d want to share a lot with you but won’t readily do so on the account of logic, and the fact that Yelina still messes him up to present-day. He may see you as a partner, but in the work sense, and you’re going to have to remind him a lot in the beginning of the relationship that you want to be his partner in life as well. It will fluster him to no end. He’s not big on PDA for the first few months, but if he feels he’s not expressing himself enough, will have flowers sent to your workplace in a gesture that he’s not embarrassed by caring for you. If you’re upset, you’d best believe that he’s in your corner ready to hoist you back up (in his own, awkward Barba way). He’s still going to use sarcastic quips that can be taken the wrong way, but if he upsets you then he’ll hold your hands and talk to you while maintaining eye contact and express his utmost remorse for hurting you in anyway. Also, once in the blue moon where he’s well-rested enough, he’ll cook for you. Once you’ve been together long enough, he’s not against holding hands while walking in the park on his off days and does so in quiet happiness.
Request: Can I maybe get a sonny x reader based off the song Come What May from Moulin Rouge? :)
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I’ve never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I’m loving you more and more
When Sonny first met Y/N, he never thought she was the woman that he’d fall in love with. But he did. And he fell hard. Each time he was with her, whether themselves or with other people, he felt completely helpless. Call it cliché, but she was the only thing that Sonny Carisi thought about on the job. Y/N was a prosecutor. She shadowed Barba some days in order to make applying for a state job easier. She walked into the squad room after one of those instances and she and Carisi locked eyes. Her eyes teased him but her smile was innocent. She walked off into one of the break rooms and Carisi followed her, closing the door behind him.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, ya know that?” Sonny growled as he kissed her. Y/N laughed. Something she did to provoke him. It always worked. Their lips moved together in sync. Like they knew what the other was thinking. Her kiss functioned as his Kryptonite. He was nothing without it. Y/N pulled away, her arms draped loosely around his neck.
“Get back to work, detective.” She winked before walking out of the room. He had no time to think about it anymore. All that was known was that Sonny Carisi was in love with this woman. And he had a feeling that he’d continue to fall.
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change from winter to spring
But I’ll love you until the end of time
Later in the evening, after both Sonny and Y/N actually arrived home, they actually had time to themselves. It was rare that they did but they always cherished it. Y/N laid with her head on Sonny’s chest, listening contently to his heartbeat. The house was dark. Not dim but completely dark. It was alright, though. The two of them liked it. They could feel the presence of their other half and that was all they needed.
"Ya know something, doll?’ Sonny spoke, breaking the silence. Y/N hummed in response. She lifted her head up a bit to listen to him better and he continued to speak. “I’m pretty sure you’re the reason my heart beats like it does.”
“Unevenly? I think you might need to get that checked out.” Y/N joked. Sonny chuckled and the silence was back. “I know what you mean.” She spoke again, quietly this time. “You’ve changed me.” That was all Sonny needed to hear. He moved her off of him and stood up. “In a good way-” Sonny turned on one of the lights and then he was standing in front of Y/N again. He held a ring box in his hand.
“You’ve changed me too. It’s normal for things to change and this is a change I want to make.” He opened the tiny box and a Y/N laid her eyes on a beautiful diamond engagement ring. It wasn’t expensive or extravagant and that’s what both of them wanted. Simplicity. “Marry me.”
Come what may
Come what may
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Y/N walked into the squad room again, wearing her engagement ring proudly on her finger. No one commented on it but Y/N didn’t mind. She knew it was true that she and Sonny were in love. Once again, Y/N was consulting on a case.
"So what-?“ She interrupted Barba when she started coughing. Over and over again until she could barely breathe. Sonny, being concerned, put his hand on her shoulder.
"You okay?” He asked, his eyes staring into hers. She tried taking a deep breath, only taking small shallow ones.
"Yeah. Probably the allergies.“ If only that was the case. Oh, how she wished that was all. About two months later, after the cough persisted and was accompanied by chest pains, even more shortness of breath and loss of appetite, Y/N thought that something more could be wrong. When she was caught hunching over the toilet, bright red liquid spewing from her mouth, Sonny made her go to the hospital. The two of them sat in the waiting room for several hours before they could see a doctor. Sonny mumbled under his breath about their timing. Y/N tried to chuckle along but a string of coughs originating deep in her chest caused he to stop.
"Y/N Y/L/N?” The doctor walked in shortly after Y/N was put in a room. After receiving several tests, including a CT and x-ray, the diagnosis came back. “…stage 3 small-cell lung cancer.”
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem like such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there’s no mountain too high
No river to wide
Sing out this song and I’ll be there by your side
Y/N didn’t want chemotherapy. She always claimed that it would ultimately make her sicker. And that wasn’t how she wanted to go. Laying in her bed at home, she embraced the silence that was around her. But, sometimes, that isn’t the best idea. She thought about her future. Or the future that she would’ve had. Sonny was her life. He was everything to her. She remembered the dejected, terrified look on his face when she stated that she didn’t want to begin treatment right away. Their relationship hadn’t been quite the same. Sonny would leave for work earlier than usual and Y/N would stay in bed all day, only getting up for the occasional bathroom breaks. That’s only because she refused to have a bedpan.
“Doll?” The familiar voice called. He sounded skittish. Y/N hummed in response, trying to control her breathing. Sonny walked further into the bedroom, smiling weakly.
"How was-?“ She coughed again. "How-?” And again. “How was your d-?” And again. Sonny grabbed the water bottle off of the desk table and handed it to her. He wanted to be supportive. He wanted to be the good fiancé. The one who loved and cherished his woman. But he couldn’t seem to support this particular choice.
"It was fine.“ He answered. He couldn’t bare seeing her in pain. The silence was overbearing as always. Especially for Sonny. He climbed into bed next to Y/N, careful not to disturb anything. She cuddled into him. She was cold and not normal cold. No. A different kind of cold. Laying in the position, Y/N realized that this was what she fought for. She fought her parents for this man. She fought the universe and it’s sick and twisted ways for this long. Why stop now? She had to keep going. She was at least going to marry Sonny.
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you
Until the end of time
It was brutal. The constant puking and fatigue was something that she couldn’t handle. Or so she thought. Sonny support helped, though. Each treatment that she got, every single appointment, he attended. The two hadn’t married yet, however. Sonny wanted to wait until Y/N was healthy but Y/N could care less. She’d be alright with marrying in the hospital. And that’s what she was trying to convince him to do.
"It’ll be-” She wheezed a bit. “It’ll be simple. And-And cheap.” Her voice was hoarse. Terribly hoarse. Sonny smiled at her and grabbed her hand in a comforting manner.
“Once you get better-”
“What if I don’t?” She wheezed. The silence reappeared suddenly and Sonny actually considered finding an officiant in the hospital and marrying this woman in the cancer ward. “Wait here.” He decided. Walking out into the halls, he tried to find the front desk. Somewhere where he could ask. Meanwhile, Y/N’s doctor walked in. He seemed to be wielding good news. At least that’s what the smile on his face seemed to say.
“The cancer cells are beginning to shrink, Ms. Y/L/N. You have a pretty good chance at full recovery.” As soon as he was there, he was gone and off to the next patient. Y/N knew that this was a blessing. One day, she’d die. Everyone dies. But she knew now that it wouldn’t be anytime soon. When she seen Sonny walking into the ward with who she thought was an officiant, her smile grew. Two good things in one day. It doesn’t get any better than that.