So I just finished reading If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin and Autumn was right when she said things could be sad and beautiful at the same time because that book was the absolute definition of sad but beautiful.
A few of the books I read in May. A majority of them aren’t pictured because I read them on my kindle/iPad 🌺📚
Not pictured: The Remedy (Suzanne Young)/Keep Holding On (Susane Colasanti)/Burn For Burn and Fire With Fire (Jenny Han/Siobhan Vivian)/Lying Out Loud and Secrets and Lies (Kody Keplinger), The Fill-In Boyfriend (Kasie West)
And I love him. For all of my memory, I have loved him. I do not even notice it anymore. I feel what I have always felt when I look at him, and I have never before asked myself what it is exactly. I love him in a way I cannot define, as if my love were an organ within my body that I could live without yet could not pick out of an anatomy book.
I want to savor this wonder, this happening of loving a book and reading it for the first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time ever again.
On August 8th, Phineas Smith died, and I can imagine every detail of that night. I can see his face and the curl of his fingers around the steering wheel. I can hear his breathing and the race of his pulse.
I know what he was thinking when he took that turn too fast.
I know what they had been arguing about before the little red car spun out.
Today is the 8th of August, the day Phineas Smith died.
Like Autumn, I hope that he stayed in that red car so that he can be happy together with her. He will remain alive in my heart.
Sometimes the whole word seems like this big machine churning people out, making everyone into the sort of person they’re expected to be. It scares me. I can feel it pulling at me sometimes, telling me to take the easier route, to stop trying so hard to be myself, to only try for the simple things in life. And it never stops. The machine can catch you at any age. No one is too old to sell out.
Ramona Andrews, This Song is (Not) for You by Laura Nowlin
I’m not gay. I’m not straight. I just don’t really care about sex…I don’t know why. I just never developed this obsession with sex that everyone else has. It’s never interested me, and it just seems to cause everyone else a lot of trouble.
Tom Cogsworthy, This Song is (Not) for You by Laura Nowlin
This is the book that destroyed me tonight. When I finished it I literally sobbed for like 15 minutes straight. It was honestly one of the best book I’ve ever read. This story will stay with me for a long time. While I read it I grew attached to Autumn and Finny, they are some of my favorite characters ever. Everyone needs to read this book.
This book is a treasure; I did not suspect it would be so good when I picked it up, but now I can feel the printed words seeping through my skin and into my veins, rushing to my heart and marking it forever. I want to savor this wonder, this happening of loving a book and reading it for the first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time ever again