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The Carmilla Movie TEASER TRAILER

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Catch up on Carmilla in 10 seconds. A resume by Melanippe “Mel” Callis.

“Do you remember senior year ? You [Perry] were possessed by Carmilla’s mom, the Evil God who forced the entire student body - including me - to dig a pit to the literal gates of Hell. Or how about that time that Lafontaine got brain sucked by the giant anglerfish monster. Or how about that time the evil baron tried to execute Carmilla. Or that time that Laura sort of kinda I don’t know, died ?”


Carmilla Movie Screening - Closing Remarks - 26 Oct 2017
Cineplex Yonge-Dundas (Toronto).

Basically the end of the short and quick Q&A.

Here’s the newspaper clipping from the first five minutes, if anyone’s interested… password: CarmillaFirstFive


In, like a stunning reversal of the natural order of things, this weird chick who flunked first year anthropology class because she wanted to be an internet celebrity has like, saved the world or something. Laura Hollis, a self-obsessed narcissist with total boundary issues apparently risked death to confront Silas’ whacked-out Dean (or some weird Floor Don, depending on who you ask), and convinced her to close up some gate to the netherworld with ugh—compassion.

‘It was totally awesome. Laura like saved the world with understanding and hugging. And dying. Ohhhhhh. She like, died for us. Like Optimus Prime, but with girl parts!’ said some dude who’d spent the last four months chained to a wall as a vampire snack.

He may have been delirious from hunger. The Jagdkommando and Red Cross are on hand to help the student body—apparently only because somebody’s Dad complained, and not because they knew anything about hundreds of students spending months excavating a giant pit, which sadly sounds about freaking right.”


Given that the whole staff of the Student Newspaper was like, murdered at the beginning of the second term, and like never really got replaced because first Hollis started that stupid Silas News Network, and then that creepy Baron Dude tried to re-enact the great Muggle Purge 

'Silas has a sordid history of virgin sacrifices’

Let’s not forget that then the pseudo-Dean just full-on enslaved the whole student body. And you know what I think we shouldn’t forget? That time that me and four other students nearly got sacrificed to a giant freaking Anglerfish. A GIANT FREAKING ANGLERFISH THAT ATE PEOPLES’ SOULS. ‘We need to talk about this. We need to talk about the Anglerfish,’ says me. Because I was freaking there. Long before there were evil barons and pits with monsters coming out of them, the Dean of Silas spent centuries throwing girls like me into a pit to FEED A GIANT ANGLERFISH. I still have nightmares. I think we should start a class action lawsuit. I don’t know who we’ll sue, because the University is a hole in the ground, but there’s gotta be somebody. It’s time the freaking Anglerfish victims got PAID.“