laughing at the stupidity of the world

MBTI Stereotypes VS the Types in Real Life

Stereotype ENTJ: Dominant. Efficient. Strategic and ideal leaders.

Real ENTJ: One of the few people able to actually physically frown, don’t understand how they’re “scary”

Stereotype INTJ: Evil masterminds. Smarter than you. Are the superior beings.

Real INTJ: Misplaces anything that isn’t physically attached to them, no longer able to recognize when they’re being sarcastic or serious

Stereotype ENTP: Quickest thinkers you’ll ever meet. Witty. Intellectual masters of debate.

Real ENTP: Used memes so much that they became one and are accepting of this fact, catchphrase is some version of “Well, actually–”

Stereotype INTP: In possession of more knowledge than the Internet. Reclusive geniuses. Know all, are humble.

Real INTP: Sexually attracted to science, volunteer plethora of useless facts every hour, zero spatial and social awareness

Stereotype ENFJ: Kind. Loving. Hearts of gold and wills of steel.

Real ENFJ: Will replace your mother and be okay with that, judge being judgemental of judging judgemental judgments

Stereotype INFJ: Mysterious and tricky to get to know. More unique than anyone you’ve ever met.

Real INFJ: One way or another, embarrass themselves every single day, somehow, consistently

Stereotype ENFP: Full of life and love. Passionate lover. Always fighting for a cause.

Real ENFP: Blink abnormally fast and probably should not drink coffee ever, have to make conscious effort to not smile, should take more things more seriously

Stereotype INFP: Gifted with emotional intelligence. Spiritual and believes in the soul, the natural course of the world, and love.

Real INFP: Really good at laughing at themselves which is necessary because they f*ck up constantly

Stereotype ESTJ: Intelligent. Dependable. Productive and competent. Forward-thinkers.

Real ESTJ: Remind teachers about homework distribution and collection every single day of the week, get off on educational videos

Stereotype ISTJ: Rule-followers. Responsible. Duty drives their perfection.

Real ISTJ: Sometimes sleep over 12 cumulative hours in a day

Stereotype ESTP: Daredevil. Live life on the edge. Famous and popular.

Real ESTP: 100% of decision-making is weighing the pros, ignoring the cons, and shrugging, then doing whatever stupid thing they got dared to do

Stereotype ISTP: Cool as hell. Detached and indifferent. Smart tinkerers.

Real ISTP: Won “Most Stubborn and Silent” for Senior Superlative page in high school yearbook

Stereotype ESFJ: Genuine and affectionate. Would take care of a sick stranger if needed. Make friends everywhere they go.

Real ESFJ: Value self-worth based on quality of and feedback for homemade baked goods, the holiday season is their life source

Stereotype ISFJ: Sweet. Innocent. Fragile and caring hearts who love their friends.

Real ISFJ: Hate conflict so much that they get second-hand anxiety from watching cliché emotional plot twist movies

Stereotype ESFP: Epitome of style and fashion. Impossibly cool. At every party and loved by everyone.

Real ESFP: Physically CANNOT stop making noises and fidgeting, all storage on their phones is taken up by hundreds of selfies in various poses

Stereotype ISFP: Exceptional artists. Emotionally deep. Humanitarians and always helping the planet.

Real ISFP: Just want to become trees, don’t get why people can’t just love one another, f*cking hippies

The world is bleak

Please reblog this message with an image that makes you happy. Not merely the “I’m so glad I’m not doing what I was doing a moment ago” happiness. I want images that make you belly laugh or sigh. I’m sick to death of sarcasm, insults, and stupidity. I’m also tired of talking into the Tumblr vastness. I want to hear from you.

Let’s share a little amusement and joy. What you call “pure” posts, these days.

Cheer up an Old™ thing.

Thank you, in advance.

top 10 phan moments that make me wanna rip my heart out

yeah, just ten moments among hundreds, let it be part one or something. tell me what i’ve missed because i want more suffering in my life.

10) mind control.

i mean, i appreciate the subtlety. i crave those tiny moments that you only notice when someone points them out to you. but this! you can’t miss this one, this moment is shoved down our throats. this is so “i’m allowed to do that to you, to be in your personal space, and gaze into your eyes for no reason, just because i want to”. and phil’s face in that moment, so much joy and mischief, he claps his hands and gazes back.

9) chest touch.

drama queen howell strikes again, it hurts to rewatch it srsly, why is he so extra? but what is phil doing ladies and gents? he slaps his chest in the weirdest way possible, he brushes it, it’s like he wants to shove him but reassuringly and the movement happens so fast you have to pause for a second to comprehend it. that sweet gentle boy is so fond of dan’s unnecessary commentary and yeah, it completely distracts us from what dan is saying at that moment.

8) feel my heartbeat.

was that necessary, really? like, i don’t ask my friends to feel my heartbeat when i’m scared, that was such a “horror movie at first date” bullshit, that’s not what people do?? and when dan does feel that beautiful hummingbird heart, phil just covers his hand with his own palm because yes, you gotta feel it very close, no air between your hand and my chest. dan immediately looks into the camera to show us that yeah, i know you’re there, nothing strange, and makes a comment about phil dying. wow.

7) phil the delivery man.

i don’t know what to say. it’s so simple but why does phil have to make such an act of bringing dan his charger, why does he talk in that stupid voice?? they have a banter, and then phil FIXES DAN’S CHARGER FOR HIM, like what?? who asked you to do that? where’s my IT guy au (literally, he’s got glasses, look at him). and before he leaves he plays the piano that nerd, what an attention seeker, and then bows!! is he tipsy? did he have a pre-liveshow orgasm or something? dan laughs fondly and it’s all i need in the world.

6) child beer.

what’s happening and does it even matter. phil’s hiding on the floor, but why? to surprise us? eh whatever. so he’s got that magical japanese powdery stuff and he wants dan to taste it. the biggest problem for me here, ahem, i mean the thing that just kills me every time is that phil spends the whole time (eight minutes) on his knees and he looks so cute when he makes that beer, holds it close to the camera, and then lets the foam sit so dan can have the ultimate child beer experience.

it reminds me of that hot chocolate video, where he does something so trivial but he’s so gentle and loving about it. i still don’t understand why they didn’t do a simple taste test like bros, but phil had to make it for dan, he wanted to see his reaction. and then he tries it as well, touches the glass rim with his lips at the same place where dan’s mouth just was (gross).

and i just can’t ignore how that boy sneaks past dan’s room after that, he’s playful, he stops to say that he googled something and dan was wrong, and domesticity, i wanna die.

5) sleeping phil on tour.

i kinda wanna talk about the angle here because i don’t understand how it was filmed (camera is pretty static, dan’s hand reaches from the side, not behind), but i don’t know if it matters here. what matters is how gentle dan is. of course, he starts with classic nose tickling, which is what “messing with a sleeping friend” usually implies, but then he frees one strand of phil’s hair and just lets it fall. wow, fantastic prank, dan.

and let’s separately discuss that pout/kiss phil does after he opens his eyes. i know you want a slow mo replay, so here we go:

that’s what i call “im gonna stay asleep but i love you”. where’s the nearest cliff so i can fling myself into abyss?

4) the look.

context what context. why did they keep it? why did they put it on fullscreen instead of hiding in the corner? two full-length looks dan, really?? you know what he looks like, why do you have to examine him like that in front of us you slut. and it just passes, without acknowledgment, they just turn back at us simultaneously and I’M STILL DEAD at that moment, i don’t care what happens next.

3) snoot. proot. (i just filmed you doing that)

i don’t even care what it was. something about piano sounds or whatever, but this video haunts me. THERE’S SO MUCH TO IT. first, phil is lying on dan’s bed (at least in the official version it’s dan’s, not mutual), just chilling?? and dan’s working i guess. so they are not actually doing something together but it’s a cozy evening, why would they spend it in different rooms? dan says something, idk, and phil replies “yeah” in that deep voice I SWEAR i haven’t heard from him before. dan makes the sounds again, like can you believe he’s an actual dork in real life, it’s not an act, he’s actually the weirdest boy alive, and he so obviously doesn’t know he’s being filmed. because when phil says “i just filmed you doing that you’re so weird”, he’s so delighted, he laughs at himself, he turns around, his hair is pushed back omg they are both so sleepy and i rejoice. i think this video gives us a rare but fantastic insight in their everyday life, phil must be keeping so much silly videos like that on his google drive and we never get to see them BUT SOMEHOW he posts this one, probably because dan is cute and he wants everyone to know it.

2) you loved it. you wanna do it more.

so, yes. you know this one. where do i even begin?? they play this dragon quiz and then 1) phil says “you loved it” in the strangest voice, like the voice we never hear from him, it’s deeper and quieter, he looks at dan even though dan’s not looking back; 2) dan is looking down as if he’s fiddling with an ipad or something, it’s almost a bts moment, something they would usually edit out. AND THEN THREE SECONDS OF SILENCE while dan kinda processes what’s going on and phil still looks at him expectantly. seductive as fuck. and now this quiet “alright”, i’m just… dan looks like he’s gotten the hint, so he’s a little embarrassed and they share the softest laugh. 

the thing is, we know how often phil makes sexual innuendos and dan always reacts the same way: he looks into the camera, he throws a witty comment in, he puts it on display to show us that there’s no intimacy in that moment. but not this time. i don’t understand why they didn’t edit it out. i just… don’t.

1) pantless liveshow
this is the ultimate. this is the weirdest and the most awesome thing these two gave me and i’m not even sure what can top that. the moment when phil decides to grab the humidifier and show us, he looks at the screen, says “one second” and stands up very awkwardly while dan turns the laptop away from him and makes the weirdest “how you doing” face. 

WHAT THE FUCK. did they think we were so used to them weirdos that we wouldn’t even notice that shit? but fuck, they do it again, they want to show us the spray and dan goes “should i go get it? you have to do phil’s corner”. like, i can’t function, i honestly can’t. AND THE WORST PART is when dan returns and we can see him covering his legs with a blanket just too fast like it’s not that cold boy come on.

i have no explanation and i have every explanation. i don’t deserve all this suffering.

And you don’t make me feel impossible. You don’t make me feel like I’m impossible to love and I cannot thank you enough for that. You could of loved anyone on this planet and you picked me and I cannot say how grateful I am for that. That you picked me. Me. Me. You picked me to love and I think that is the most magical thing ever. You picked to love my laugh and my obsession with animals. You picked me and you picked to love my love for books and all things nature. You picked to love my four year old boy laugh and my harshness when the world get’s to hard. You picked to love me and my pills that I take every day to battle clouds that seem to always follow me. You picked to love my scarred skin from night’s when everything got to much and you picked to love my stubbornness on what I want to eat for dinner. You picked to love my small hands and my small personality which you make me feel like it’s big and beautiful. You picked to love my 4 pm I love you’s and my 2 am I don’t want to be here’s. You picked to love my love for animals and homeless people and my uncontrollable laugh when you make a stupid joke. You picked to love my long brown hair and my dull brown eyes. You picked to love my love hate relationships with my mother and my sad life story. You picked to love me and you not only have made me feel loved, you have made me feel like I was beautiful when all I have ever felt my entire life was unworthy. You showed me that I did not need to live in a world of black and white and you opened my heart to color again and I cannot thank you enough for that but I’d like to start with our little “forever”. I hope you do too.
—  Thank you for loving me when I do not love myself. // Deeply Feeling Series 
thoughts during a conversation

aries: get to tHE FUKCIN POINT OBH MY GOD WHY DOES EVERYONE TAKE 10000 YEARS TO SAY SOMETHING THAT SHOULD ONLY TAKE 10 SECONDS

taurus: should I have leftovers tonight or order takeout… Thai and vietnamese are healthy but, pizza sounds pretty good too… maybe a bottle of wine…are you still talking to me… I’ll just pretend I need to go to the bathroom. ..

gemini: *talks continuously without giving the other person time to reply, basically says whatever pops into their head, doesn’t care if the other person is interested*

cancer: I give and I give, listen and listen, I am so nice and caring, when are they going to ask about me? I am literally the most kind, gentle, pure, underappreciated person in the universe *wipes tear* 

leo: *checks out self on any and every reflective surface* nice. Wait, did you just ask me a question? Finally, I get to talk about (myself) something interesting.

virgo: *sweats nervously and/or judges the other person ruthlessly* It’s either ‘wow, what an idiot,’ or ‘I hope I didn’t sound like an idiot’

libra: pretends to listen politely while resisting the urge to stick a pencil in their own eye to escape from the sheer bordom/stupidity, out loud: “wow, that’s so interesting” *eye twitch*

scorpio: fukc, this is boring why is everyone so boring what’s the point of small talk yes suzan it’s hot outside it is the middle of the fucking summer tfti now would you do the world a favor and go play in traffic

sagittarius: *laughs* “that’s hilarious” inside: I hope a horde of wildabeast tramples this fucking fool so that no one has to listen to them talk ever agin fuck *laughs some more*

capricorn: how does this apply to me? Wait, it doesn’t. What a waste of time.

aquarius: disagrees even though they don’t actually disagree and then argues just to prove how smart (they think) they are

pisces: literally having the most awesome narcissistic daydream ever, doesn’t even pretend to pay attention

[technically a shitpost but check mercury/third house]

You know, people love to say that opposites attract. And maybe that’s why I tried so hard to make us work. The girl who measures two teaspoons of sugar to put in her tea and the boy with calloused palms, climbing every mountain he can because he likes the way the stars look when nothing is in their way. Frothy milk and adrenaline. We looked like idiots together. You at my charity dinners in a poorly tailored sport coat. Five o'clock shadow. Bad jokes. And me scaling the rock climbing wall with slippery hands. Two feet above ground. A loose cotton dress. But laughing. Both of us always laughing. At me and you and this stupid world for working in a way that let the two of us need each other so desperately. Opposites. You’re damn right they attract.
     But attraction and commitment were never the same thing. Maybe you always knew that. And that’s why you laughed. Because you knew that one day, your girl would stand on Everest. Scream to the stars. Drink her coffee black. But me, I’m still learning. Learning as you tell we want different things. Learning as you drop off every piece of myself I’ve left at your place, nothing folded, the toothbrush tangled with hairs. Learning as I sit here writing about the boy who bounced from cliff tops to see the stars and the girl whose feet never left the ground, whose eyes only ever knew how to watch him walk into clouds and disappear altogether.
—  the truth about you and me
Nothing More [ IV ] [ Final ]

Genre [Rating] : Angst

Length: 3k

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Summary: Watching the man you love love someone else was the most painful feeling in the world.

Nothing More Masterlist

Originally posted by angel-in-slow-motion

It was terrifying how much could change in a year. To think that just a few short weeks could change everything about you was daunting, but true. When you had left life felt like torture, like everywhere you looked there was something waiting to mock you. You were broken, your heart all but ashes when you boarded the first flight away, but you knew it was what you needed to do. You needed time away from it all to figure out what you wanted, to figure out who you were without all of the things you’d grown so used to. It was hard, leaving it all behind, like you just gave away a piece of yourself with no plans of ever getting it back.

Loving Byun Baekhyun was hard, but letting that love go, was harder.

Keep reading

the funny feeling in his stomach and the weight that seemed to be bearing down on his chest had been lingering for about ten minutes before jace mustered up the courage to ask alec what was wrong.

“you’re upset about something.” alec looked up from his desk, an emotionless almost forced look on his face.

“i’m not upset about something. why would i be?” alec answered too quickly for jace to be convinced and he sat down on the desk next to alec, who now had his head bowed and was avoiding eye contact.

“i can feel it through our bond,” jace explained slowly, tapping his fingers on the desk. “it started just now. it’s funny because i’ve never felt this kind of emotion through the bond before. it’s like-” jace looked back at alec and was alarmed to see that he was shaking slightly, hands clenched so tightly his knuckles were white and he was biting his lip so hard he was sooner or later going to draw blood.

it fell together like puzzle pieces, dawning on jace like the start of a new day.

“heartbreak.” jace almost whispered and alec exhaled shakily through his nose, squeezing his eyes shut.

“oh, god, alec, i’m so sorry.” was all jace could manage to say before alec looked up at him for the first time in what felt like years, tears in his eyes and a teardrop clinging to his nose as if for dear life.

“do you want to talk about it?” jace asked carefully and alec shook his head rapidly and jace wanted to cry too because of how lost, how young and vulnerable alec looked in this moment, how shattered.

“i love him,” alec croaked out after a few seconds of silence, voice choked up and raw. “i love him so much, jace.”

“i know you do, buddy. believe me, i know.” jace said in a soothing tone, slowly putting his hand on alec’s back and rubbing.

“i’m so stupid,” alec laughed weakly, shaking his head and wiping his eyes. “i should have known, i should have realized this would never work out. that we come from two different worlds that would only try to tear us apart.”

“hey, hey,” jace put his hand on alec’s shoulder. “you’re magnus and alec. you two are made for each other. this is going to be okay, i promise.”

alec breathed in, tears now streaming freely down his face. “i don’t know, jace. i don’t know.” he repeated as if in a trance and jace took alec into his arms, holding his brother as he finally let a sob escape his lips.

“it will. i know it.” jace assured, even though he didn’t really know, but it was the best he could do, the best he could say and the only thing he could think of to say to his crying brother, who had his face buried in his shirt and was wetting the fabric with his tears. the weight on jace’s chest was heavier than ever and his stomach was churning up a storm.

BIOS PARA TWITTER

RANDOM INGLÊS

  • you little shit
  • bitch i will kill you with my kawaii powers
  • my world, my rules
  • sorry not sorry
  • what?????? NO
  • not your business
  • i cry for my idols and you cry for stupid boys (ou girls)
  • love love love. what is it good for? absolutely nothing
  • my mind is killing me
  • >>>>>> coffe <<<<<<
  • do you miss me like I miss you?
  • i’m a bad bitch
  • born to cry
  • real eyes realize real lies
  • im laughing im crying it feels like im dying

RANDOM PORTUGUÊS

  • aqui vcs vão ver os dramas vividos pela kardashian perdida
  • tombei, mas gata cai em pé
  • não piso em quem ja ta no chão
  • prazer, tristeza
  • a gente gosta de pau com pau e ppk com ppk
  • estou super interessada, conta mais
  • esta conta vai de coldplay a nego do borel
  • sai daqui que vo te da um bicuda na barriga
  • ih ala, daqui da pra ver o micão que vc ta passando
  • felis igual 1pint no lixo
  • será que sou apenas um lixo ou um completo lixão????

SÉRIES

  • depois que eu comecei a me prostitui pra pagar a netflix eu tinha uma vida, agora ela parou
  • quantos trabalhos pra fazer…………………………… MEU DEUS QUE EPISODIO MARAVILHOSO
  • por favor deus cuida dos meus personagens preferidos e não deixe o diretor matar eles amém
  • skins primeira e melhor geração que vc respeita
  • se vc shippa spaleb vc ta assistindo errado (pll)
  • cALA BOCA COMEÇOU TWD
  • so nao te mato pq minha alcateia é santa (teen wolf)
  • sense8 é como o ar que eu respiro
  • se scream não é a melhor série já criada então nem sei pq respiro
  • eu mesma, fã daquela seriezinha who q 3 pessoas assistem

FRIENDSHIP - COUPLE

  • laxa lexa (nome ou @ da amiga) loxo (seu nome ou @)
  • senhor me diga onde foi q eu errei pra ser amiga da (nome ou @ da amiga)
  • eu e a (nome ou @ da amiga(o)/namorada(o)) formamos a dupla do perigo
  • love you to the moon and back (nome ou @ da amiga(o)/namorada(o))
  • my little angel (nome ou @ da amiga(o)/namorada(o))

SHIPPERS

  • shalalala (p1) gosta do (p2) e isso ngm mudará
  • conta oficial da filha dos (shipp)
  • tudo era doce até que você tentou chamar (shipp) de falso
  • ao ler essa bio você concorda com os termos de que (shipp) é real
  • (shipp) is real in 23782378272 different languages

Para deixar o nome vazio ou em branco no Twitter é sé copiar o que está  dentro dos parenteses:

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  • /\_¸_/\
    (=•_•= )

웃 ღ ♥ ♡ ❤ ❥ ❦ ∴ △ ∞ ☆ ★ ✖ ® ™  ☏ ℡ ゚ ❝ ❞ ✥ ✦ ✧ ✩ ✫ ✬ ✭ ✮ ✯ ✰ ✱ ✲ ✳ ❃ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽ ♆ ✼ ✻ ✺ ✹ ✸ ✷ ₪ ✶ ✵ ✴ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ❊ ❋ ❖ ⁂ ⁑ � ▲ ▼ △ ▽ ◺ ⊿ ◤ ◥ ◣ ◢ • ● ♀ ♂ ⚢ ⚣ ⚤ ⚥ ⚧ ➹ ◎ ♦ ✗ ✘ ✚ ✪ ✣ ✤ ✥ ➸ ☑ ☒ ☓ ☠ ☡ ☢ ☣ ☤ ᛟ ᴥ ☥ ☦ ☧ ☨ ☩ ☪ ☫ ☬ ☭ ☮ ☯ ♦ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♢ ♤ ♡ ♧ ● ◯ ☚ ☛ ☜ ☝ ☞ ☟ ✌ ☼ ⛮ ⛅ ☀ ❂ ☁ ⛈ ⛱ ☂ ☔ ☃ ⛇ ⛄ ☄ ☾ ☽ ❄ ☇ ☈ ⊙ ☉ ℃ ℉ ° ❅ ✺ ϟ ♔ ♕ ♖ ♗ ♘ ♙ ♚ ♛ ♜ ♝ ♞ ♟ ♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓ ⚀ ⚁ ⚂ ⚃ ⚄ ⚅ ⚆ ⚇ ⚈ ⚉🐵 🌍 🌠 🎶 🏠 🌲 🌳 🌴 🌵 🌙 🎼 🎯 🌟 👪 👫 👬 👭 🔥 ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷ ◰ ◱ ◲ ◳ ☊ ☋ ☌ ☍ ♲ ♳ ♴ ♵ ♶ ♷ ♸ ♹ ♺ ♻ ♼ ♽ ♾ ✇ ❂ ⌘ ✈ ⚐ ⛿ ⚑ ⛳ ⛴ ⛵ ⛺ ⚗ ⚘ ⌇ ☫ ☬ ☭ ⍝ ⍟ ⍣ ⍤ ⍥ ⍨ ⍩ 유 ℧ ℥ ۵ ≛ ∫ ∬ ∭ ∮ ∯ ∰ ∱ ∳ 〄 ≦ ≧ ∩ ∪ ⊗ ⊘ ⊾ ⋖ ⋗ ∀ ∃ ∄ ∅ ∈ ∉ ∏ ∑ ∓ √ ∛ ∜ ∝ ∟ ∠ ∡ ∢ ≃ ≅ ≠ Ω ♨ ❢ ❣ ✐ ✎ ✏ ✍ ✆ ☎ ✄ † ✞ ✝ ✛ ✙ ރ ⌚ ▧ ▨ ▦ ▩ ۩ ஜ ಌ ஜ ๑۩۞۩๑ ஜ ஒ ண இ ஆ ௰ ௫& ૪ »♥«☜♥☞♥ ❥☊ ♪ ♫ ♩ ♫ ♭ ♪ ♯ ♬ ♮ ♫ ♩ ♫ ♭ ♪ ♯ ♬ ♮ ♬⇤ ⇥ ⇦ ⇧ ⇨ ⇩ ⇪ ⌦ ⌧ ⌫ ➫ ➬ ➩ ➪ ➭ ➮ ➯ ➱ ⇌ ⇍ ⇎ ⇏ ⇐ ⇑ ⇒ ⇓ ⇔ ⇕ ⇖ ⇗ ⇘ ⇙ ⇚ ⇛ ↺ ↻ ⇜ ⇝ ⇞ ⇟ ⇠ ⇡ ⇢ ⇣ ↩ ↪ ↫ ↬ ↭ ↮ ↯ ↰↱ ↲ ↳ ↴ ↵ ↶ ↷ ↸ ↹ ↼ ↽ ↾ ↿ ⇀ ⇁ ⇂ ⇃ ⇄ ⇅ ⇆ ⇇ ⇈ ⇉ ⇊ ← ↑ → ↓ ↔ ↕ ↖ ↗ ↘ ↙ ↚ ↛ ↜ ↝ ↞ ↟ ↠ ↡ ↢ ↣ ↤ ↥ ↦ ↧ ➟ ➡ ➢ ➣ ➤ ➥ ➦ ➧ ➨ ➚ ➘ ➙ ➛ ➜ ➝ ➞ ➸ ♐ ➲ ➳ ➳ ➴ ➵ ➶ ➷ ➸ ➹ ➺ ➻ ➼ ➽(◕‿◕✿) 。◕‿◕。 ⊱✿◕‿◕✿⊰ (◡‿◡✿) (◕〝◕) ◑▂◐ ◑0◐ ◑︿◐  ◑ω◐ ◑﹏◐ ◑△◐ ◑▽◐ ●▂● ●0● ●︿● ●ω● ●﹏● ●△● ●▽● ⊙▂⊙ ⊙0⊙ ⊙︿⊙  ⊙ω⊙ ⊙﹏⊙ ⊙△⊙ (°_°) (´❛-❛`) (´・_・`)(✿ฺ。✿ฺ) (。♡‿♡。) (-’๏_๏’-) (⌒_⌒;) (´✪‿✪`) (✪‿✪)ノ (✲✪‿✪) 𝓪 𝓫 𝓬 𝓭 𝒆 𝒇 𝓰 𝓱 𝓲 𝓳 𝓴 𝓵 𝓶 𝓷 𝓸 𝓹 𝓺 𝓻 𝓼 𝓽 𝓾 𝓿 𝔀 𝔁 𝔂 𝔃 𝓐 ℬ 𝓒 𝓓 𝓔 ℱ 𝓖 ℋ 𝓘 𝓙 𝓚 ℒ ℳ 𝓝 𝓞 𝓟 𝓠 ℛ 𝓢 𝓣 𝓤 𝓥 𝓦 𝓧 𝓨 𝓩ﭢ ツ ッ シ ⑆ 【ツ】 囧 ㅹ Ü ☺ ☹ ☻ ๏̯͡๏ ﭢ 〲 〴 ϡ ﭢ 〠 ⍡ ⍢ ⍣ ⍤ ⍥ ⍨ ⍩ ะ㋚ะ ๑㋡๑ ʚ㋞ɞ


- ana

Imagine being Lucifers soulmate

Word count: 2186

Request by: anon - Hi! I was wondering if I could request a Lucifer x reader where Chuck is like “yeah Lucifer has a soulmate duh” so Sam, Dean, Cas, Lucifer, and Chuck all go to find them (Sam and Dean ready for her to be all evil) but they’re super intelligent and sweet? Thank you!! 

A/N: Thanks for the request <3

No one’s POV

Sam, Dean, Cas and Chuck were all sat silently in the room thinking of ways in which they could make Lucifer less angry at everything which reduces the risk of him throwing one of his ‘tantrums’ and destroying his brothers and humanity.

“I guess we could find his soulmate,” Chuck spoke out loud breaking the silence causing both Sam and Dean’s heads to shoot up and stare in Chuck’s direction.

“That’s a possibility,” Castiel replied to his father before continuing to look down at the lore book in his hands.

Both Sam and Dean just continued to stare at them in shock. The Lucifer, the very fallen angel which wanted to destroy humanity, had a soulmate, a human soulmate. A long period of silence followed as they were both too frozen to say anything.

“Wait what? Lucifer has a soulmate,” Dean spoke breaking the silence asking the question both him and Sam wanted to ask.

“Yeah Lucifer has a soulmate, duh,” Chuck laughed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “I made every angel have a soulmate.”

“Could you take us and Lucifer to her?” Sam asked Chuck steadily and Dean looked at him as if he had just said the most stupid and crazy thing in the world.

“Of course I can,” Chuck replied looking over the small group of people within the room, “It’s just getting Lucifer out of his room and agreeing to the plan that’s going to be the hard part, I don’t think he even knows himself that he has a mate.”

Everyone’s heads drifted to Dean silently, as a group, picking him to be the one to speak to the angry archangel only a few rooms down from them.

“Well I’m not going in there alone with no defence against a moody archangel.” Dean spoke matter-of-factly.

“Who are you calling moody?” A smooth voice called out causing everyone’s heads to shoot over to where the sound came from.

There stood Lucifer leaned against the doorframe with a smug expression covering his face, it was the first time anyone had seen him come out of his designated room almost as if he could sense that the others were talking about him.

“Lucifer, come sit,” Chuck spoke causing Lucifer to pull a face which resembled disgust.

“I’m fine here,” he replied. Lucifer still wasn’t back to being 100% father and son with God (in fact he acted like a teenager) but they seemed to be better than they were when he first got out of the cage and being moody constantly was better to Chuck than his son not talking to him at all.

“Well, what do you all want, I could hear you all thinking my name from my room,” Lucifer spoke into the silent room taking notice of the shocked expressions on the Winchester’s face’s when looking at him.

“Father decided it would be best if took you to see your soulmate.” Castiel informed Lucifer.

Shock was evident on Lucifer’s face for a split moment in time before it returned expressionless to try and hide the emotions he was feeling; it was clear to everyone in the room that he didn’t know he had a soulmate.

“Well, let’s go do that then,” Lucifer spoke calmly yet inside he knew he was excited. After the fall and spending so long in the cage, he had begun to think that his father had not created him a soulmate and was pleasantly surprised to find out that he still had the ability to feel love like his brothers and sisters, “It’s slightly better than doing nothing in my room all day,” he added not wanting anyone in the room to acknowledge his happiness, he still had the reputation of ‘the devil’ to hold.

“That was easier than expected,” mumbled Chuck to both Dean and Sam with a chuckle before raising his hand and clicking sending them all to meet Lucifer’s soulmate.

Your POV

Sighing to yourself, you collapsed onto the sofa, your favourite book in your hand ready to read the night away. The day had been so busy and you hadn’t had a second to relax so you had decided to spend the rest of the night just relaxing, listening to your favourite band and reading. That was until you heard a knocking at the door.

Thinking it was just some hunters coming to you for information you decided to ignore the knocking at the door and continue reading, trying your hardest to relax. They could go to someone else for help, it’s been too long of a day.

The knocking continued so you sighed placing the book down and made your way to the persistent person knocking at your door so late at night.

Shock was evident on your face when you opened the door to 5 men staring at you, two looking slightly scared making you confused as to why they could be here. You slightly backed away from the door in case they were demons (which you doubted highly due to the friendship you had with Crowley, although they could be rouge demons) or any other monster which could have found out you were helping hunters.

Even though you were nervous, your eyes couldn’t help but drift over to the man with blonde hair you just wanted to wrap your hands in and gorgeous blue eyes that you could stare in for eternity, your eyes continued to roam over his body, as did his with yours. You quickly diverted your eyes away from him in case he noticed you checking him out.

“How can I help you lovely men?” you smiled slightly looking at them as a whole.

“We was wondering if we could speak with Y/N,” the guy in the trench coat asked.

“That would be me, please, come in,” you replied, a smile not leaving your face, you nervously watched as they all stepped onto and over the welcome mat which contained a hidden devils trap under it. Your worry slightly lifted when you saw that none of them had gotten stuck. We are demon free, I repeat, demon free you thought to yourself as the men followed you into the kitchen.

“Anybody want a cuppa?” you asked happy that you weren’t in danger, if you were they probably would have tried to attack you by now but you were still cautious just in case.

A chorus of ‘no thank you’s’ was your reply apart from the blonde headed man replying ‘please’ causing all of the other men to look at him as if he had grown another head.

“S-Sure thing,” you cursed yourself for stuttering when talking to him and you felt your cheeks begin to heat up.

You hummed a cheery tune as you quickly spun around and popped the kettle on before making a drink for the both of you. As you handed the mysteriously hot man his drink your fingers collided for a moment and everything felt right like nothing else mattered in that short moment of time but you and him, sparks of electricity running up your arm. Looking up into the man’s crystal blue eyes, you searched for any sign that he had felt the same as you but all you saw was his expressionless face. Quickly, you grabbed onto your drink before sitting down and inviting everybody else to do so.

“So, what is it you guy’s wanted,” you smiled taking a sip of your drink. You had always been a cheerful person, from a very young age up until now and you had always believed that there was too much negativity within the world that you couldn’t possibly contribute to that, so you tried to spread as much joy as possible. It was one of the reasons you started helping hunters with their boring lore work. Lucifer realised that and admired you for it.

“Well, I guess we should introduce ourselves first, shouldn’t we?” the tall long haired man said nudging the person next to him who continued to stare at you like you was some sort of myth or legend.

“Wha- oh yes. Introductions. I’m Dean, that’s…” he paused for a second whilst pointing in the blonde man’s direction, “…Nick?” he said as more of a question, “Chuck, Cas, and this is my little brother Sam.”

It was now your turn to have shock overcome your face. Did you hear them right? Sam and Dean Winchester was in your house, in front of you with the infamous Castiel you had heard so much about. What the heck would they want with you?

“Winchester brothers?” You asked out quietly, surprised that a voice even managed to come out of your mouth.

“Yeah… That’s us, how’d you know?” Sam asked slightly creeped out that you knew who they were.

“Oh come on, every hunter knows about you two,” you stated.

Silence overcame the room as the men processed what you had just said, the only person to show any form of emotion was Nick, a large, proud smirk across his face at the fact you were a hunter.

“Well then, since you know about the supernatural, we can properly introduce ourselves,” Chuck spoke motioning to him and Nick, “I’m God, but I prefer Chuck.”

“Pleasure to meet you Chuck!” You spoke happily sticking out your hand for him to shake, surprising yourself that you didn’t react massively to the fact he had just told you he was the God. He chuckled taking your hand in his, your infectious smile crawling its way onto his face. Everybody then looked in Nicks direction, you saw him nervously fiddling with his hands.

“I, uh, I’m,” he stuttered, a hand reaching to stroke the back of his neck to calm him down as he debated whether or not he should tell you the truth, “I’m Lucifer.”

You smiled and wrapped your arms around him, for some reason it just felt right and both you and Lucifer knew it. He sighed into the hug relaxing instantly when you didn’t freak out over who he was

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you too Lucifer,” you said into the hug before pulling away from him seeing a smile on his face. The rest of the group seemed shocked at his display of emotion yet Lucifer decided to ignore them and keep smiling at you.

“So,” you spoke suddenly clapping your hands together and reluctantly turning away from Lucifer, “What brings the Winchesters, God and the angels to these neck of the woods.”

Lucifer’s metaphorical heart stopped for a moment when you acknowledged him as an angel, he didn’t think he could possibly fall in love with something as quickly as he was with you.

“You understand the concept of soulmates correct?” Castiel spoke up and you looked over in Lucifer’s direction knowing where the conversation seemed to be heading.

“I do,” you answered Castiel but not taking your eyes off of Lucifer and him not taking his eyes off of you.

“Well, we found out that you are the soulmate of-“

“Lucifer,” you spoke cutting Castiel off. It definitely was the only explanation for the strong attraction you were having for him, it felt as if you had known each other for all eternity.

“Yes, Lucifer is your mate,” Castiel confirmed.

You felt as Lucifer’s hand slid down into yours, fingers locking together causing a grin to appear on both your face and Lucifer’s.

“Okay let’s leave them to it then,” Chuck said shoving the rest of the boys out of the room and throwing a wink at you. Sam and Dean still continued to show shocked expressions at your kindness towards everyone as they were pushed by God out of the room to leave you and Lucifer some privacy to talk.

“Y/N,” Lucifer turned to you and placed a hand on your cheek the other still locked between your fingers, “I know we have only just met, but it feels as if I have been in love with you for eternity.”

“Me too Luci,” you confirmed slightly blushing and ducking your head at the way in which stared lustfully at you.

His hand drifted down to under your chin as he lifted your head to make you look at him. Your eyes locked with his ocean blue ones and it felt as if he was staring directly into your soul. Slowly, with his hand still on your chin, Lucifer leaned down hovering his lips over yours momentarily as your foreheads touched due to how close you were before locking his lips with yours. As cliché as it sounds, you felt butterflies erupt in your stomach when your hand reached up and gripped into his blonde hair. His gentle hand snaked its way around your waist and pulled you closer to his chest as he deepened the kiss. In this moment, wrapped in your soulmate’s arms, feeling the best you had in a while, you knew that you was truly in love as was Lucifer and that he was going to do everything in his power to protect you.

anonymous asked:

Can I request for bakugo, todoroki and eijiro with their s/o spending some fluffy cute time alone at home. How do they spend their relaxing home-date night with their s/o? Thank you very much.

Hi dear! Obviously you can, I was looking forward this. What a fantastic ask you sent! I really enjoyed writing those head canons for you! I’m feeling all giddy now and really, those boys are the best.

 I hope you enjoy it!

 

 

Bakugou

  • You can tell that is going to be a relaxing, home-date night in the exact moment you see him. Bakugou, at the thought, can’t stop himself from showing small happy grins when he thinks you’re not looking and tends to hum softly his favorite songs.
  • He cooks, as usual since he’s really good at it, but goes out of his way to ask what you would like to eat. During the dinner, he continuously glances at you, trying to not be seen, to understand if you really like what he cooked. Not that he doesn’t believe to your praises, but it feels more gratifying to just look at your shining eyes and delighted expression while eating.
  • Usually after dinner, you wash the dishes and clean the kitchen while he takes a shower. However, on those nights, Bakugou insists to do it together with some random excuses; one washes, the other dries and both of you enjoy the silent presence of the other or tell each other how the day went.
  • Afterwards, you have the tradition to watch a movie together, while eating snacks and sweets, sometimes feeding each other playfully. He likes to pull you closer and wrap an arm around your shoulders, while you rest against his chest.
  • And you really love movie’s night, but you would really like, for once, to see the film till the end. Unluckily, it seems something impossible: it doesn’t matter which type of movie you choose (you’ve tried action movies hoping he was going to get caught by the plot and explosions, and even romantic movie to bore him to the point of falling asleep) but it’s going to end always in the same way. Before the ending, if you’re lucky, (In the middle of it if you’ve pushed his switch), he starts distracting you by caressing your waist or your tight; then he nuzzles against the crook of your neck and leaves a trail of soft kisses on the skin from the cheeks to the shoulders. Finally, those kisses become playful bites; just to be sure he has your complete attention. And, let’s be honest, it doesn’t matter how much time passes, you are never going to have enough resistance to continue watching the movie.
  • The only times it doesn’t end like this, is when you had a tiring day and so, you fall asleep before he can start tempting you. In those cases, growling complains he just switches off the TV and picks you up in bridal style to carry you to the bed. As a pouty punishment, he leaves a big hikey on you neck while you’re sleeping.
  • When you two watch romantic movies, obviously thanks to your insistence and much to his boredom, you force him to repeat and act the cheesy lines the male protagonist says. The problem is that he changes the words so much and pronounces them in a so deadpanned, annoyed or incredulous way that it always ends up with you laughing to your heart content.

“Nobody in the whole world could ever divide us.”

“I’m going to fucking kill the first who tries to divide us.”

“You’re the star of my life, the hope of my existence and the light in the darkness that guides me.”

“You’re a freaking fizzy, glowing mass of matter that I seems to love and follow everywhere like an idiot for unknown motives…Oi, s/o stop laughing! It’s not my damn fault if they’re idiots! Why the hell a stupid, far away star? Don’t they know what a star is made of? Shit, this is dumb, not romantic. I would just kiss the hell out of you and end it there. I hope she breaks up with him.”

Kirishima

 

  • Home-date nights with Kirishima are the funniest; he really loves them and becomes happy and excited as a child, continuously surprising you with sudden pecks, lifting and spinning you in the air or hugging from behind.
  • The two of you start by trying to cook together, however your experiments doesn’t always end well, even because Kirishima can be very clumsy. So, if you don’ manage to save the dinner in time, the nearer pizzeria is now used to your sudden calls.
  • Washing the dishes includes poking each other with bubbling, wet sponges and splashing with water; no need to say that this can easily transform in real water battles. If this happens, you then have an excuse to enjoy a warm bath together. Nothing is better than relaxing and floating in Kirishima’s arms.
  • Then you always do something different; sometimes you play videogames, do session of crazy karaoke, play “have you ever…” with crazy challenges, watch matches or action movies on the TV or, your favorite, playfully wrestle on the bed.
  • You two are very competitive when you fight, armed with pillows, sheets and blankets, screaming and laughing loudly. The thing that you like the most is the fact the, in any case, Kirishima always treats you with the outmost carefulness and kindness. He pays a lot of attention to hit you lightly and not hurt you, controlling his force and being sure he’s not going to accidentally use his Quirk. Even when he has finally pinned you down on the mattress, (yeah, sorry but he usually wins), you can feel that the hold around your wrists is very light; firm, because he likes to win, but kind, no bruises are going to remain.
  • Well, once he has caught you, he reasonably decides to torture with tickle and stops only when you beg for it with tears in the eyes for the laughter. He then smoothers you with kisses.

“Ne, s/o who’s the stronger, manlier hero ever?”

  • You win only when you play dirty. A sudden kiss that makes him falter, puppy eyes that make him hesitate or faking being hurt (not seriously) to make him let down his guard. Obviously, using those techniques makes the battle ending with him kissing every inch of you too.

Todoroki

  • Nothing is more relaxing than a home-date night with Todoroki.
  • The two of you race to come back home earlier than the other to surprise them by cooking. This usually ends with both of you arriving at the same time and deciding to cook together.
  • However, Todoroki always buys you your favorite dessert and gives it to you at the end of the dinner as a surprise. Or sometimes a flower, a cute hairpin or everything else that during the week has caught his attention and reminded him of you.
  • Todoroki is a big cat. He doesn’t ask for cuddles, he just takes them when he feels the need. Without warning, he drapes himself over you and kisses you, or hugs you from behind nuzzling against your neck, or rest his head on your lap and “force” you to stroke his hair.
  • You usually just cuddle together, talking about everything. The week, something funny that happened, searching comfort if one of you is troubled or just telling something about yourselves. You two chat ‘till you start dozing and he picks you up or guides you by the hand to the bedroom.
  • Other times, you read together or Todoroki reads aloud for you. You also watch movies: you like to choose tragic or scary ones. In the first case he’s going to comfort you with a lots of cuddles and reassuring words; in the second, you can be as clingy as you want and he is going to repeat you that it doesn’t matter what is going to happen, is always going to protect you, so you don’t have to be scared. Moreover, his deadpanned expression even during the most scary scenes and the cold, filled with common sense and perplexed comments about what’s going on are amusing.

“Why she should open that door if she knows all the others are dead? Ah, she’s also without any weapon, she should have taken that baseball bat. I bet she’s going to die.”

  • Depending on the season, you curl against one or the other’s side of the boy, who finds it very amusing.
  • A bath together is a necessity. A long, warm, bubbly bath to relax and enjoy the intimacy.
  • When there’s the right weather, you take a blanket, some pillows and sweets, and exit on the balcony. There you sit down, Todoroki caging you between his legs and wrapping his arms around your waist, and you two look at the stars together, telling made-up stories about the constellations.
  • Todoroki always remembers to give you a goodnight kiss.

I was talking to Nina about ADD and I just realized how to describe it. So let me put it here.

Focus is something you hear from a young age, focus on this, focus on that, why don’t you remember these things. And you don’t think it’s abnormal, because people forget things, they’re people. And maybe you forget to tie your shoes and people make fun of you for it, but you don’t mind cus it’s a quirk, you’re just forgetful that’s all, and in children that is fine.

Then you enter school. Your teachers ask you to sit still in chairs, or to be quiet, or to stop drawing, or to pay attention or combos of them all. And it’s hard, it’s so hard to do those things and when you can’t manage it, you’re misbehaving. Maybe your grades start to drop because everything seems to slip by, the board in front of you might as well be covered in fog for how well you can focus on it. Or maybe you skate by because the work is easy, you might not be able to focus on the lessons entirely but you can force yourself to tune in for just enough to stitch it together. 

It doesn’t matter which one you are, or if you’re another. Eventually, at some point, you come to a conclusion. Because people won’t let you forget it, how easy it should be to remember to eat lunch, how easy it should be to study by reading over notes, how easy it should be, how easy-

Focusing is natural for everyone else. They don’t have to think about it like you do. They struggle sometimes, for sure, but often clicking in is just natural. Focus is a choice. 

Focus is not a choice for you. It’s an effort. It’s the hardest work you ever do when you’re not interested in something and someone wants you to watch a board and listen to them talk work for word. It’s like keeping eye contact for a straight hour without blinking. When you can keep focus, it tires you, takes everything you have, and you hate that it’s so easy for everyone else. And when you can’t, when you catch the first five minutes and a thought drifts your way and suddenly the lesson is over, you look at your empty page of notes and wonder why you keep fucking it up.

You start to feel stupid. Maybe your grades reflect it. Maybe they don’t. Either way it starts to stick, how everyone else can do this so easy and you can’t. Like you’re supposed to be able to do it. People get frustrated with you, why don’t you remember this conversation, why can’t you study, god if you only tried-

You want to scream you try. You try your heart out. But everyone seems to certain you don’t. The things that help you focus better, chipping nailpolish off, drawing, tapping your leg, are all signs you’re not giving it your all. They’re signs you’re lazy. You wonder if your trying isn’t enough. Maybe you’re supposed to give everything. You stop your drawing, your movements and your grades slip and it’s not supposed to be like this, you’re stupid, why are you so stupid-

Maybe one day, you realize you’re not stupid. It’s brain chemistry. Maybe they give you drugs that help and suddenly the world is a little clearer, and focusing is easy and was it supposed to be this easy, is that why no one got it? Because they never knew what it was like to cling off the edge of an icy ledge and have no purchase? Or maybe drugs don’t work and you find other ways to work, move lectures to hands on assignments, study by writing yourself practice exams and filling them out yourself, drawing problems to see them rather than to focus on an abstract. Maybe it helps some days. Maybe it doesn’t. But you know it’s not you and that’s what counts. 

You still feel stupid though, some days. When you forget your keys, or laugh too loud, or forget fragments of conversation. Because it’s supposed to be easy and you can’t quit that thought no matter how hard you try. Except-

Sometimes, with some things, things you really care about, focus isn’t a problem. Maybe it’s a tv show you like, maybe it’s a hobby you enjoy, maybe it’s a subject you can’t learn enough about. It’s something that matters, something that you love. There you can focus. You can do more than focus: you can tune out the rest of the world like it’s nothing. The world centers to you and the thing, and until you pull yourself out, it remains that way. In this world, you’re never stupid. You’re just you, and you can see everything in front of you crystal clear. 20/20.

You put the thing you love away. The real world awaits.  When you get up, you forget to bring your empty mug of tea with you.

And for a moment, just a moment, that’s okay. 

Dating Mark would include

Originally posted by holyfuckmark

Mark Tuan

- oh man oh man oh man
- the perfect sweetest boyfriend
- hand holding
- like the kind you only hear about in books and movies
- cute park dates
- hand holding
- back hugs
- pouty kisses
- playing with your hair
- watch out for Jinyoung
- that’s his baby
- it’ll be a battle for Mark’s attention
- like legit you’ll be waiting for him at practice and Mark’s being all cute and winking at you and shiiiiiii
- suddenly Jinyoung starts getting all buddy buddy w/ yo man
- making kissy faces at him
- “are you jealous, Y/N?”
- “I’m more of a Markson fan”
- You’re also in a relationship with Jackson
- “Y/N I got you somethi-”
- “AW MARKY POO YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE”
- “N-No no this is for Y/N-”
- “ #MARKSON4LIFE”
- “Jackson no that’s-”
- “WE’RE MEANT 2 BE”
- Honestly let’s face it, it’ll be you against the rest of GOT7 in a fight for Prince Charming’s heart
- I mean Mark
- same thing
- anyway
- you’re close w/ Papa Tuan and he h a t e s i t
- BABY PICTURES GALORE
- AND HE’S STILL JUST AS CUTE
- he’ll get back at you tho
- “hey Y/N you look so cute in this ladybug outfit”
- “what are you- gIVE IT TO ME WHERE DID YOU GET THAT”
- his laugh is the purest thing
- he can totally get away with calling you babe/baby
- especially in the morning
- when he’s spooning you and you’re trying to get up
- deep sleepy voice
- “baaaaabe stayyy”
- “I gotta gooo”
- “just 5 more minutes”
- his smile could bring world peace
- you’ll be in the audience supporting ur boy
- and he’ll see you
- bring you upstage and you’ll go along w/ it pretending to be a fan
- and he’ll kiss your cheek
- BAM everyone on earth envies you
- expect lots of videos
- of him just doing stupid and cute things
- when you’re sad he’ll just listen and be there
- and two minutes later just smother you in kisses and hugs
- he’ll make you feel so wanted and you’ll never feel alone
- speaking of being alone
- Mark + you being the cutest person in the world in his eyes
- HEH
- american boi knows how to move
- have you seen his floor grinds
- you’re the floor now
- w i n k
- ehEH
- honestly a relationship with this boy would be so
-p e r f e c t
- playing with your hair
- resting his chin on your shoulder
- trying different kinds of food
- you’re his princess
- he’s your prince
- he just loves you s o much
- sometimes you’ll have your days, and other times he’ll have his days
- but you know how to make each other happy and honestly I think that’s what makes you two so perfect

youtube

Test, test. Today is a sunny day. *clears throat*

To the good, innocent people of this world. I am Dr. Eggman. A man with a miraculous brain who will become the new king of this planet. To the foolish Resistance or whatsoever. Stop any meaningless opposition and surrender now. 99% of this planet is already in my hand, and your admired hero Sonic was also defeated by my power. Put your weapons away and capitulate. You don’t have to follow the stupid echidna who can only think about fighting. If you come to my side now, I will promise you three meals a day with a nap time. And an underground prison… erm, *clears throat* I will be waiting with clean, warm dormitory. I am expecting a wise choice from you all. That is it. Ho-ho-ho-ho!

Nothing major revealed, just a confirmation that something has happened to Sonic.

(not related but I love the Eggman Empire logo, a bit too complex but it fits)

Context: Our party had just defeated two elite Drow, one of which was out of range for a majority of the fight, levitating over an underground cave pool infested with a giant lightning eel, that only the ranger could hit with her bow until she managed to lasso and pull him closer. The conversation took place while the party was long resting.

Aseer: You know, I have a long bow that I have never used during this campaign so far.

Sohana: Well, if you don’t have a need for it, you could always give it to me in case I lose mine.

Aseer: Why? I’m proficient with it.

Sohana: Oh, well, why didn’t you use it during the fight then? If you need arrows, I could give you some.

Aseer: I have like 60, I’m good.

Sohana: So you are proficient with a long bow, with plenty of arrows, but forgot that you had it, leaving me to be the only one able to land a hit on the stupid Drow that almost wiped us?!

Sohana, OOC: *To guild leader while hysterically laughing* This guy could use a bow the entire time during the fight!

Thalon, OOC: You could what?! *Voice breaks like he’s just given up on the world*

Steve had been really looking forward to getting in some practice before his big tennis match on Sunday.

He’d agreed to meet his boss and a few of his friends at the court after work to practice his serve. They’d offered him the chance to go to the gym with them first, but Steve lied and said he’d nip home to get his stuff and change. The real reason is he didn’t want his boss to see him naked, so he decided to change at the side of the court!

Steve had had his tank top on under his shirt and he’d worn his jock under his suit pants as he knew there weren’t any changing rooms at the tennis courts. All he had to do was kick off his dress shoes, pull down his suit pants and pull on his shorts and his trainers.

After checking no one was around, he bent over, his firm bubble butt pushing against the seams of his tight navy suit pants, and unlaced his dress shoes. He kicked them off and unbuckled his brown leather belt.

Steve made sure he had his shorts nearby and ready to pull on quickly. Although, he thought, I’ll slip my trainers on first. I don’t want anyone to know I changed here.

Steve knelt down, his belt swinging open and slipped on his trainers and tied them up.

With his trainers done up, Steve heard the rumble of an engine and the slam of a car door. He quickly undid his flies and the button on his pants, pushing the material to his ankles.

His jock clad bubble butt was bare to the world and Steve was suddenly very conscious of how much he was exposing himself. As he bent over, his cheeks fully presented, he realised how stupid he’d been putting on his trainers first. His suit pants were tangled around his ankles and his trainers.

Hearing the sound of his boss and friends laughing and joking as they approached, Steve started to panic. He stumbled slightly as he managed to free one trainer clad foot from his pants, but the other was caught. He gripped his shorts in his hands as he tried to use his free foot to untangle the other.

“What the hell are you doing, Steve?” His boss’ deep bass voice rumbled behind him.

Steve jumped and dropped his shorts, before stumbling forward, his pants flicking off his ankle to the side of the court. Steve came to a stop on the court, his back to his boss and another 4 guys!

“Boss, I can explain!”

“You better have a good reason for this fat ass!”

the timing is all wrong- h.s imagine

Originally posted by irinagudronchik

“Y/N!”

You chuckled softly and excused yourself from the conversation you were having with one of your friends.

Harry drunkenly plopped his body next to yours, his body almost on top of yours. He buried his face into your neck and smiled.

As if your hands had a mind of their own, they started to rub his back in a soothing matter. “How are you doing, birthday boy?”

Harry hummed and pulled his body back so he could look at you properly. He had a stupid, drunk, smile on his face. “I’m having the time of my life!”

You laughed, heart swelling at your best friend. “Good! You deserve the world.”

Even in Harry’s drunken state, his stomach did backflips hearing your words.

“Harry! Come on, let’s dance!” a female voice shouted from the middle of the dance floor.

You cleared your throat and nodded your head towards her, “Your girlfriend is calling you.”

Harry looked back between Brooklyn and you. He opened his mouth but was interrupted by Brooklyn calling him once again.

You tapped on his cheek, “Go! We’ll talk later!” Harry gave you a peck on your cheek and promised to meet up again later and proceeded to dance with Brooklyn.

You stared as he wrapped his arm around her waist and gave her a hard kiss to which she returned, her arms wrapping around his neck. You cleared your throat and looked down at the beer bottle in your hands before taking a long chug from it.

Louis came over and sat next to you, placing a hand on your thigh. He leaned into your ear and whispered, “I saw that.”

You looked at Louis and smirked, “What? Saw Harry acting like a proper drunk idiot?”

Louis shook his head and returned a smirk back to you, “No. Saw you drooling over the drunk idiot.”

You smacked Louis hard on his chest. “I told you that in secrecy!”

Louis rubbed where you hit him and gave you a look, “Oi! I haven’t told anyone!”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “I’m surprised you haven’t with that giant mouth of yours.”

Louis held his hands up in defense, “To be honest with you, I am too.”

You gave him one more look before the two of you burst out into laughter. You shook your head and looked back to Harry and Brooklyn dancing to a slower song, arms wrapped around each other. Still looking at him, you told Louis, “Doesn’t matter. He would never feel the same anyways.”

The next morning, you woke up to a slight headache. Damn it. Should have drank more water last night. You picked up your phone to see several messages from Harry, no doubt he texted it to you when he was drunk; the thought making you smile softly.

Y/N love! Miss you!

We should totally rent a boat.

Promised you a dance! Where r u

Did u leave u dick

LOL you don’t have a dick

Wait do u

Y/N?

Y/N!

ANSWER ME.

You laughed at Harry’s texts, wondering how in the world could he ever get these kind of ideas in his head. You glanced at the time at the top of your phone and figured you should make sure he got home alright.

“Hello?” Harry groggily answered.

“Morning sunshine.” You smiled getting up from your bed, heading over to the kitchen.

“I am anything from being in a sunshine mood this morning” Harry said, eyes closed, snuggling into his covers. “Can you bring me breakfast?”

You shut your fridge door and balanced the phone between your ear and shoulder, twisting a water bottle open, “Pass.”

Harry groaned loudly into the phone, “But it’s my birthday!”

You gulped down your swig of water, “It was last night, idiot!” Harry pouted, “But I’m hungry. And you love me.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled. Harry whined, “Please Y/N.”

You sighed and smiled, shaking your head. “Fine.”

Harry cheered before wincing from the sudden movement, very hung over. “Maybe bring some aspirin as well.”

You were humming to yourself softly, holding a bag filled with Harry’s favorite breakfast: Avocado toast. Yours: A chocolate croissant.

You walked up to George, Harry’s doorman and dropped a bag in front of him. You smiled, “Hey George.”

George looked up at you and smiled before reaching into the bag. “Morning Miss Y/L/N.”

“I grabbed you a breakfast sandwich this time. George put his hand over his heart, “A woman that knows my heart.”

You laughed and walked away, “See ya, George!”

After taking the elevator to Harry’s apartment, you finally got to his door. You pulled his spare key out of your pocket and unlocked the door. You shut the door quietly, careful not to make too much noise. You placed your purse and bad with food on the counter. You began to walk to Harry’s bedroom but froze instantly. You heard a very loud moan come out of his room. You peeked your head from behind the hallway and were met with a rather disgusting sight. Brooklyn was on her knees in front of Harry. You quickly turned around and walked away, picking up the food and purse on your way out. Once you finally exited his apartment, you leaned against the door and sighed. She must of came over as soon as we hung up. Not wanting to let the food go to waste, you reached into your back pocket and pulled out your phone.

Breakfast?

Louis sat at his dining room table, hand on his chin, pouting, “If I knew you were going to give me this, I wouldn’t have answered your text.” You shrugged your shoulders, finishing the rest of your croissant. “Harry loves that.”

Louis crossed his arms and mumbled, “Harry also likes sardines.”

You wiped your mouth before Louis spoke up again, “Why didn’t you just give him this then?”

You picked at the button on the top of your shirt, “I was but decided not to.”

Louis stared at you, “Brooklyn was there wasn’t she?”

You sighed and shook your head yes. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Brooklyn. She was a very sweet girl. You tried to look for something small to dislike her but unfortunately, you couldn’t. Brooklyn was lovely. She was someone Harry needed.

Louis bit his lip, a look of sympathy on his face. He didn’t understand how Harry could be so blind. Y/N was perfect in his eyes. She was funny, the right amount of sassy, and beautiful. Anyone would be lucky to have the honor to call her their girlfriend. Wanting to change your mood, he asked, “Let me show you something.”

“Louis! That was awesome!” You shouted. The two of you were sat in Louis’s mini studio inside his apartment. He just played back a song that he was recently working on, planning for it to be his next hit.

Louis pressed the stop button and smiled brightly at you, “You liked it?”

“Loved it! So proud of you!” You smiled, giving him a hug. Louis smiled and hugged you back a little tighter, “I’m glad.”

Harry was sat on the couch in your living room apartment, feet on the coffee table. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.” You came back into the living room, popcorn in your hands. You sat next to him, getting into the same comfortable position as well. You shrugged your shoulders and grabbed the remote, going through the DVR. You clicked on the episode of Game of Thrones you were looking for and nestled into the couch a little more. “Wait, you skipped an episode. We didn’t watch that one yet.” Harry interrupted you.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I watched that episode with Louis the other night” you said, grabbing the remote again. “I’ll watch it again if you’ll like.”

Harry turned his body so it was facing you, “Since when have you and Louis started hanging out?”

You shrugged your shoulders once more, “We’ve always hung out.” Harry scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah..but never alone..”

You gave him a confused look, “What does that have to do with anything?”

Harry sighed, “It doesn’t but I didn’t know you guys were on that friendship level..”

You gave him one more look before laughing, “Louis is great company, what’s the big deal?”

Harry got back into his position and rested his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer, a sense of worry going through his body. “I’m being silly, sorry love. Can we watch the episode?”

You were holding your chest, trying to gain your breath back. Louis stood next to you, tapping his foot, hands on his hips. “Y/N-” You held up your finger, still trying to catch your breath.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Y/N it was only a block!”

You and Louis started to grab some takeout. While you guys were walking back to his apartment, it started to rain. Not wanting the food to get ruined, Louis suggested the two of you to run the short distance. Finally, you were able to breathe. You narrowed your eyes at him, “I could have slipped on the rain and died.”

The two of you stepped into the elevator, he smirked at you. “That would be an unfortunate way to die. ‘Girl defeated by rain.’ Now that’s a buzzfeed article I would read.”

Ever since Harry’s birthday party, you and Louis became insanely close. At first you saw Louis as a distraction from your feelings for Harry but eventually you grew to really enjoy his company. Louis always admired you and hanging out with you lately has made his feelings for you grow more.

After the two of you finished the food, you really wanted to hear Louis’s new song again. Louis pretended to be annoyed but his heart warmed at the thought of you loving his song. As Louis played back the song, you began dancing like a mad woman. Louis was watching you, laughing at your horrid dance moves. As you were dancing, your foot caught on one of the wires that was on the floor. Louis quickly grabbed you before you fell to the floor. You placed your hands on his arms and looked up at him. You don’t know who kissed who first but you soon found yourself sitting on Louis’s lap, hands tangled in his hair. The two of you kissing as his song was playing quietly in the background, repeating itself.

You were walking to your door, hand in your hand, smiling at Louis’s latest text to you. You quickly sent him a text, arranging to meet up later. As soon as you opened the door, Harry was on the other side. His hand was up, looking like he was going to knock before you opened the door. “Hey. what are you doing here?” you asked, putting your phone into your back pocket.

“I broke up with Brooklyn.”


part 2?