laughed so hard that i cried

GET IN MY BUSINESS PLEASE:
  1. The meaning behind my url:
  2. A picture of me:
  3. How many tattoos i have and what they are:
  4. Last time i cried and why:
  5. Piercings i have:
  6. Favorite band:
  7. Biggest turn offs:
  8. Top 5 (insert subject):
  9. Tattoos i want:
  10. Biggest turn ons:
  11. Age:
  12. Ideas of a perfect date:
  13. Life goal:
  14. Piercings i want:
  15. Relationship status:
  16. Favorite movie:
  17. A fact about my life:
  18. Phobia:
  19. Middle name:
  20. Height:
  21. Are you a virgin?
  22. What’s your shoe size?
  23. What’s your sexual orientation?
  24. Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?
  25. Someone you miss:
  26. What’s one thing you regret?
  27. First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:
  28. Favorite ice cream?
  29. One insecurity:
  30. What my last text message says:
  31. Have you ever taken a picture naked?
  32. Have you ever painted your room?
  33. Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?
  34. Have you ever slept naked?
  35. Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?
  36. Have you ever had a crush?
  37. Have you ever been dumped?
  38. Have you ever stole money from a friend?
  39. Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?
  40. Have you ever been in a fist fight?
  41. Have you ever snuck out of your house?
  42. Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?
  43. Have you ever been arrested?
  44. Have you ever made out with a stranger?
  45. Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?
  46. Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?
  47. Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?
  48. Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?
  49. Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
  50. Have you ever seen someone die?
  51. Have you ever been on a plane?
  52. Have you ever kissed a picture?
  53. Have you ever slept in until 3?
  54. Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now?
  55. Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
  56. Have you ever made a snow angel?
  57. Have you ever played dress up?
  58. Have you ever cheated while playing a game?
  59. Have you ever been lonely?
  60. Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?
  61. Have you ever been to a club?
  62. Have you ever felt an earthquake?
  63. Have you ever touched a snake?
  64. Have you ever ran a red light?
  65. Have you ever been suspended from school?
  66. Have you ever had detention?
  67. Have you ever been in a car accident?
  68. Have you ever hated the way you look?
  69. Have you ever witnessed a crime?
  70. Have you ever pole danced?
  71. Have you ever been lost?
  72. Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?
  73. Have you ever felt like dying?
  74. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
  75. Have you ever sang karaoke?
  76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?
  77. Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
  78. Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?
  79. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
  80. Have you ever sang in the shower?
  81. Have you ever made out in a park?
  82. Have you ever dream that you married someone?
  83. Have you ever glued your hand to something?
  84. Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?
  85. Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked?
  86. Have you ever been a cheerleader?
  87. Have you ever sat on a roof top?
  88. Have you ever brush your teeth?
  89. Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?
  90. Have you ever played chicken?
  91. Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
  92. Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?
  93. Have you ever broken a bone?
  94. Have you ever been easily amused?
  95. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
  96. Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?
  97. Have you ever cheated on a test?
  98. Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?
  99. Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?
  100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows.
fanfiction
  • tumblr: "He thrust in slowly with a low groan..."
  • ao3: "His hands splayed across my chest as he whispered my name..."
  • wattpad: tHEN I woKe UP WITH a BonER AND WaS lIke WoW LETS Go mAke bReakFASt

Catching your fish sleeping is weird because the first few times it happens you shit yourself thinking they’re dead but after a while you just walk in and turn on the light and see them lying in some strange ass position, staring into space and dreaming of god knows what, and you just sigh and go, ‘alright weirdo, time to get the fuck up’

funny story

so when i was in like 6th grade, we were taking a test and the room was silent. well my pencil broke so i had gotten up to go sharpen it. but I, being the wierdo I am, had to sing on the way to sharpening my pencil. the tune I sang wasn’t an actual song, but it went a little something like “gotta get your hoes, go get your hoes, don’t forget your hoe hoe hoessss.” i’ll remind you that at this time i was an innocent little 6th grader (but the rest of the class wasn’t). after I had repeated that about 3-4 my teacher got curious what I was singing. when I told him and sang it to the whole class, everyone was laughing except the teacher. he immediately called the principal and i started crying. i didn’t know what was happening. when the teacher asked why I was crying, I said it was because I was confused. i was wailing because i didn’t know i could get in trouble for singing about gardening tools. so about 2 minutes pass and I’m balling on the floor with boogers everywhere. and the principal walks in (just great). about 5 minutes pass and no one is able to talk to me, they are sitting there interrogating me on why i would sing about such things. for some reason, i just kept crying even worse than before. so imagine that every time anyone said something, a little kid just cried louder until the voices would stop. so finally I stop crying. and the teacher/principal (I don’t remember which one) asks me why I cried so hard. and all I had to say was “i didn’t know i could get in such big trouble for singing about a gardening tool…” and that’s when everyone even the teacher started laughing their asses off. and that’s also when I started crying again…

youtube

If you haven’t seen this yet…watch it now.

Sasuke, Kakashi and Gaara tackle a seduction mission- pretending to be hosts in a club to extract information from a dangerous client!! Shikamaru manages the mission (and the club), while Sasuke insists that they call Naruto to be on standby in case things turn into a fight. Naruto is happy to be involved, but…why wasn’t he chosen to be a host?!

The drama CD, brilliantly illustrated/synched by the fansubber, is absolutely hilarious. And yeah, there’s a few things to make SNS and GaaNaru fans especially happy. Shikamaru nails the stereotypes that fangirls squash the guys into, and listening to Sasuke, Gaara and Kakashi deliberately trying to be seductive is the best thing ever.

An Aquarius was throwing and making a mess in his own room after he found out that she, his girlfriend, had finally moved on without him. I looked as he cuss and threw away some of the mementos of her, and finally stopped when he found an old photo of them together at a photobooth. He sat down and started to burst into tears. “If only.. If only I told her everything, and hadn’t kept it all in, maybe she would’ve stayed..” he said through the tears.

An Aries looked through his twitter and found a picture of his ex with someone else, he let out a soft chuckle. “Oh shit..” he laughed, and slowly he stood up and continued to laugh. “Look at this. Look at her.. Oh, she’s.. she’s fucking hilarious.” He slowly started to laugh so hard, and I watched as he began to shake and slowly made his way to the balconey and started to scream about her, just screamed her name and called her names and how he hated her but finally he broke down and cried.

A Cancer started shaking and tries to grab his phone out of our reach. “Please, let me just call her..” we shook all our heads and told him to just stay put. He begged that it’ll be just for tonight. We told him that he has had enough, but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted to call her so bad, but the truth is.. she’s about to have her wedding in a week, and he was going to tell her he still loves her after all these years.

A Capricorn and I were out in mid-town late at night, and he had too much to drink. He sways as he walks, and suddenly one of Bryson Tiller’s songs played through one of the bars nearby and he let go of me and sang through the whole verse. He finally stopped and looked at me and said, “This shit, that’s me. I wished God would saved her for me. That’s it, and fuck.. I’m not really at my best at the moment, but I loved her.”

A Gemini breath out smoke after inhaling his cigarette and he looked at the city lights from our view. “I miss her..” was all he said, taking another inhale from his cigarette. He looked at me and gave me a small smile and back at view.

A Leo drank with me, and place an arm around my shoulders and said, “I shouldn’t drink too much. These crazy thoughts are hunting me again, and I just want to crush the world. Ha, oh she’s in my head. My ex, you know? She’s in here again and.. fuck! I hate her. I miss her. You know we’re talking again, right but just as "friends”? I want more than that..“ He gave me a small playful slap on the cheek and walked to get another drink. It’s going to be a long night.

A Libra rushed to her house, knocking at her apartment door. But it was locked. Ran back downstairs and started calling her name out her window, trying to get her attention. She finally opened the window and told him to leave. I watched from the car, as he asked for her forgiveness. She shook her head and said it was too late for him.

A Pisces admitted to me how he still thinks about his ex, and how he still calls out her name and how his mind would play memories of her every single day. He can’t stand the nights because his mind would play her, her voice, her smile, the way she would call him everyday and she was his rock. As he sits here with me, tears roll down his cheek and he said, "Now here I am still holding on to her, just waiting for a sign that maybe she’d come back, and maybe we can try again.. but also maybe she’s with someone else, who.. who treats her well than I could’ve had and.. I want her to be happy, I do, but I wish.. right now.. she could be happy with me, and I am so selfish for it..”

A Sagittarius once said that he used to think too much about the relationship and how every time he was with her he would start to overthink every scenario of how she would leave him, and he would tell her and she would shook her head and promised him she would never leave… and now that she’s gone he still can’t stop thinking about her..

A Scorpio said to me, “I’m just not too sure if I could ever ask her to come back. I really messed up, you know? I could try, but would she ever give me another chance to prove to her my real worth? Can she really do that..?” I was a little loss for words. Knowing Scoprio and how he is, he seemed to be really serious about her. I just didn’t know what to say.

A Taurus and I passed by a coffee shop and he paused and peered through and saw his ex with someone else, and she’s laughing and holding this man’s hand. He gritted his teeth and his fist clenched. I put a hand on his shoulder and told him to let it go. It’s been years since they’ve together and been a two years after their break up. He slowly looked down in defeat and sighed. He walked off ahead of me..

A Virgo and I were driving out late one night around the city, and all the songs he played were just old, sad R&B music and I would watch him from time to time as he mumbled some of the lyrics to himself and would let out a small smirk when the singer goes and says, “I love you and miss you..” and he shook his head. We pulled up to a parking lot, and he got out and looked at me and said, “I do miss her, but do you think she misses me..?”

—  Regrets..