laughed so hard i farted

anonymous asked:

What are your HCs if someone were to find Victor and Yuuri's very raunchy homemade sex tape? Would they be able to look at Yuuri Katsuki the same way again

It takes Yuuri a moment to reconcile the number of alert bubbles on his lock screen with a reason to panic, but when he unlocks his phone and spies the little red bubble with "529″ above the messages icon, a cold hand has gripped him by the diaphragm and begun squeezing a frigid reality into his chest.

With shaking hands, he opens his missed calls—658, what the hell—and skips right to the voice mails that have stuffed his inbox completely full. Beside him, Victor mumbles something about grass into his pillow.

Everybody he’s seemingly ever met has tried to reach him at some point during the night, and their messages are all variations of the same theme.

Keep reading

i was legitimately spiraling into a depressive episode just now like struggling to find the will to live but the audio post of that fart noise made me laugh so fucking hard i remembered the good that life has to offer

Breaking…. bad

Author Ladyoftheteaandblood.

Alternative Tom and Conny.

Conny has a problem and Toms trying to fix it. Warning bad jokes and fluff.

“Just let the bloody thing out”

“I can’t, I just can’t, years of mums training, I can't”

We were lying in bed and I had indigestion and really needed to, well you know. Trouble was in my house as a child you didn’t. It was so not done that it was almost a hanging offence,

my mother would look like someone had shot the hamster and really go into one, if the horrors of horrors happened. Of course, we all did but not in her, or anyone else’s hearing.

This meant that now I couldn’t, I had such a hang up about the whole subject, I’d rather die of pain than let one loose where anyone could hear.

Tom thought this was totally ridiculous, he didn’t just thingy anywhere, he was a gentleman most of the time but in the bedroom and bathroom he had no qualms about letting rip.

The more he told me I could, the more it became a problem and the more I didn’t, thus ending up in pain and discomfort.

The little bastard had tried to end this …

“Frankly silly state of affairs” as he put it, by making me giggle and on one occasion, seriously getting quite cross.

It didn’t help, I just felt worse than ever about it and waited till he’d finally gone to sleep, before creeping down stairs and resolving the problem in the downstairs bathroom.

So today here we were, me in pain and him telling me yet again to, ‘just let it out’, and I wanted to, I really did but my mum was still with me in spirit and my bottom end still following her rules.

“Oh I give up, you strange beast of gas filled joy, let’s finish the book after all we better not, EHeheheheh….you’re pumped up enough and you might explode Ehehehehehe"

I didn’t hear the end of the book he’d been reading to me for the last month, even though I love it when he reads.

I fell asleep.

Only to wake up two hours because he was laughing fit to bust.

“What is your problem Mr?”

“Oh my little angel of Ehehehehehehe"

“What are you laughing at?” This was not said with a happy face, I’m not good at being woken up, except under exceptional circumstances and that involves his tongue.

He put on his Dobby voice and said.

“Mistress has bestowed a great honor on Dobby, Dobby has been blessed” he then fell about laughing again.

“Will you just tell me Arse face, what is so bloody funny you woke me at 2am?”

“Actually, you woke me” he now had smug face on

“I bloody didn’t!”

“Oh, you did my little sweet smelling Eheheheh flower, I snuggled up to you and you……”

“Shut up, don’t say another word” oh no!

“Yup, on my leg as I cuddled up to your back, I gave you a bit of a hug and the next thing I hear is a unicorn breath”

“If you don’t shut up, I will hit you” I said now so red that there was no need for a light in the room.

“You wouldn’t hit the love of your life”

So I gave him a ding bow and the fun began. This was a pillow fight I was not going to lose, he’d dishonored me, trouble was I was still full of …of…and as we rolled round the bedroom, well it sort of got out. On its own!

Modified by my body’s betrayal, I turned to apologize, as he said,

“The Unicorn is back then” He then hugged his pillow and was unable to speak any further as he was laughing so hard. He was laughing so hard he Farted! And I then lost it and did too, which made him laugh even more and ..oh you get it.

And that my friends is how I got over my phobia of making Magical Unicorn Breath, in front of Tom. Until he mentioned the unicorn could do with a breath mint!!!!!!

(picture not mine I just played)

@anovidelonghi @abfoster1s @ancientfinnishgoddess @aggro-femme @antyc67 @archy3001 @aliceada @booksandcatslover @bluegrasscontessa @damageditem @dorito82 @enchantedbyhiddles @enchantedbyhiddles @eve1978 @feelmyroarrrr @frenchblondgirl @heathermc13 @izhunny @lolawashere @larouau12 @lostinspace33 @maevecurrywrites @mrshiddelston @marveloznerd @prplprincez @peskipixi @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks @sf0206 @servent-alearika @siyoteodiara @the-haven-of-fiction @the-lady-mischief @tinaferraldo @tomforachange @tomkurbikston @tomhiddleston-kikibfairy @neither-blue-nor-green @nuggsmum @lordjohnandtom @kellarter @omninocte

Today, I fucked up by being in the bathroom with a coworker.

I work in a large performance venue. I went into the bathroom for my daily 3:30pm case of the dirty squirties, and it just so happened that a co-worker from another dept who I’m friendly with was walking in to sit down and take care of lunch in another stall.

We’re sitting there, brothers in stalls, quietly downloading some brown loads when he rips a crisp fart. The resonance in the bowl was beautiful, so I chuckled a little. He laughed back.

I’m the kind of guy who will always laugh at two things - farts, and other people’s laughter. This was the holy grail.

We basically laughed back in forth in turn, escalating to the point that I laughed so hard that I started farting too. This caused even more laughter.

We both finally calmed down, cleaned up, and left the bathroom.

I should probably mention that the venue I work offers backstage tours to patrons. It just so happens that a tour group had been stationed right outside the bathroom as their tour guide was taking the time to talk about the history of a display in that hallway.

We had many looks of horror, amusement, and even some of respect.

TIFU: Internet`s best fucked up stories are here.

anonymous asked:

Can you explain the shit charts some more? idk why but now I'm curious about the other members (plus a shit chart sounds very useful despite not sounding very cute)

Ok anon, I sure can explain more about the shit chart.  Basically what you shit (and how you shit it) can point to whether you have a well balanced diet, whether you are healthy, etc.  We all know that not only is Jin probably the only one of these boys who knew what a “vegetable” was before getting in to the group, but that he’s probably the one most concerned with the general health of the group on the daily basis.  Hence, the shit charts.  He’s got one hanging in the bathroom very much like this one below and he asks members about how their “doodoo is doing” all the time.  

He’s got a bowlful of problems too.  Tsk.  

* Yoongi - Eats nothing but Ramen / drinks nothing but black coffee for days on end so gets the Fire Shits like nobody’s business.  Jin is constantly on him about eating more fiber, sneaks metamucil into his ramen when desperate.  Also (and Yoongi would kill him for saying this) bought special creme for Yoongi’s asshole for when it gets super irritated (which is often).  VERY FARTY. 

* Namjoon - Pebble blasting the studio toilet every day.  Is regular but each shit he takes sounds like he’s just throwing marbles into the toilet.  Once forgot to flush and tae came out of the bathroom talking about “Joonie’s chocolate eggs”.  Also has a shitty diet (much the same as yoongi’s) just is less sensitive in the gut.  Also sometimes gets so distracted he forgets to shit.  MEDIUM FARTY. 

 * JIn - if there was a pooping Prince of BTS it would be Jin.  So regular you can set your watch by him, in and out of the bathroom in 5 minutes TOPS.  Is so attuned to his body can tell if he’s had too much or too little of a certain vitamin by how his shit smells, also is always very pleased because has very aesthetic looking shits - basically picture perfect shitter that’s Jin.  VERY FARTY (kale farts). 

* Hope - Also in fairly good shape as far as shitting, fairly regular - no major problems with pooping.  The only problem everybody ELSE has with Hope’s shits is that they REEK SO BAD and also the fact that he takes HUGE shits - so big they have been known to clog the toilet (between Hope and Jin there’s a contest for the biggest shit and so far Hope is winning much to JIn’s chagrin). Hope is super proud of every shit he takes and often photographs them to brag about them.  LOW FARTY

* Jimin - Again, Jimin’s doing pretty good.  Follow’s a fairly well balanced diet, doesn’t eat too badly, so he’s part of the regular wagon.  When Jimin gets sick though, his regularity is one of the first things to go - also if he gets too stressed either gets the shits or gets all plugged up and you never know which one it’s gonna be until it happens.  Shits really cute turds - little and rolypoly.  Could fit 5 of Jimin’s little poops into one of Hope’s.  LOW FARTY

* Tae - Iron constitution on this kid, it’s like he doesn’t notice he should be shitting his brains out.  Every once in a while (generally when he’s eaten Burger King and nothing but Burger King too many days in a row) he gets what the group calls the “hamburger shits” which means like 10 minutes of intense shitting and then he’s fine again.  MEDIUM FARTY

* Kookie - The true problem for Jin in his quest to keep BTS regular is Kookie.  Kookie suffers from constipation pretty much constantly - has for years (even though it’s starting to get a little bit better now…).  Every single day Jin asks Kookie if he’s gone, and if the answer is No, Jin gets the prunes out, and sets about harassing Kookie until he eats them.  He also has a special tea when shit gets really rough (pardon the pun).  The other kids (*cough* tae and Jimin *cough*) sometimes make fun of Kookie, but if Jin hears them they get the SLIPPER SO HARD.   Yoongi doesn’t even want to think about how many times he’s been lulled to sleep by Jin fretting about Kookie’s rampant constipation.  LOW FARTY (always squeakers)

SO, there you go anon, Jin’s shit chart shitting headcanons for everybody in BTS. With help from the distinguished @johannbuddenbrooks who thinks this is as funny as I do < 3

‘COME ON GUYS EVERYBODY POOPS’ - Jin (probably).  

anonymous asked:

what kdramas do you recommend (im into like rlly cutsie love things and if u can, can you say like how much dramas in them????) <3

Since you like the cute stuff I’ll recommend you some of my favorite ones. Although not all of them are gonna be cutsie, but they do all have romance.

I’m sure that i left out so many that i like, but these are the ones I could think of for the moment.

It’s okay it’s love - hands down one of my favorite drama’s over all. The comedy and drama is a perfect blend and it will have you laughing and crying. And the ending is the best, it will leave you satisfied and happy. (amazing OST)

Emergency couple - i liked this one, i thought the leads were so cute and the story is nice too. You get to watch a couple who divorced fall in love all over again.

I need romance (1, 2 and 3) - The title says it all. All 3 have different plots but I recommend all of them.

Healer - lots of romance and action. The chemistry between the leads is just wow, it will have you squealing and screaming. 10/10 recommend. (OST is amazing)

You who came from the stars - The story is nice, but the romance really stands out, it’s just really sweet. I hate shitty endings and this one had a good one thank god.

Flower boy next door - Just cute all over, Yoon Shi Yoon steals the show for me, he is just so lovable.

Flower boy ramyun shop - I remember laughing my ass off in this one and blushing like crazy.

Faith - It’s romance/historical drama, not too much fluff and comedy, but I really liked it. The love story is really beautiful.

reply 1997 - Another drama that is pretty high on my list. Fell in love with the characters and if you are a fan girl you will relate.

The moon that embraces the sun - I remember just sitting there like what now after watching this cause it was that good. Love story for the ages. I cried a lot in this, but another one where the ending left me smiling.

Rooftop prince - Handsome men who will make you laugh and smile, the plot is pretty good too, i liked this one a lot.

City hunter - If you liked healer you will like City hunter and vice versa. Another one of my favorite dramas. Lee min ho is freaking eye candy and Park Min young is so cute and lovable.

Secret garden - Perfect blend of cutsie, fluff, drama, and comedy. When it comes to romance there’s no way this one can be left out. Even my husband loved this one a lot and it had me laughing so hard in parts that i farted. 

My girlfriend is a Gumiho -  Shin Min Ah is amazing, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. I wanted to punch Lee Seung ki’s character a lot in this drama haha, this one is really cute.

Kill me heal me - I’m still not over this one cause that’s how good it was. Ji Sung is perfect in this and the way he is able to play all of the personalities will leave you in awe. The comedy is just right too. But the love story is what makes this drama, it will melt your heart and then tear it out. 

Birth of a beauty - The female lead made me so happy in this drama, I’m so sick of seeing the lead always get pushed around by the anti, but here you get to see her be the number 1 shit and it’s awesome. The chemistry between the the two is so cute too.

Can you hear my heart -  Kim Jae Won’s million dollar freaking smile had me from beginning to end and the story itself is really good. Another big favorite of mine.

Got7 Reaction: You (their s/o) fart in front of them for the first time

i actually giggled like a 3 year old when i read this request! xD Thank you for your request dear! ~Em

Mark: Even though he would be a little shocked he would giggle after a moment, but pretend he didn’t notice if you got embarrassed about it

Originally posted by kabuuta

Jackson: (ignore mark and the fan please xD) *drama king* “Woah!! Jagi was that you?!? It was so loud that you almost gave me a heart attack!!”

Originally posted by wonweewoo

JB: “oh thank goodness. I was hoping you would be okay with farting in front of each other soon because there were time where I thought I would die from the gas pain jagi.”

Originally posted by defsouljb

Jr.: *moonwalks out of the room like *gif* “I heard and smelled nothing.”

Originally posted by jwxngs

Youngjae: *laugh so hard that he farts too* **laughs harder**

Originally posted by got7gifs

BamBam: “Woah, woah! I had no clue a sound like that could come from someone as cute as you!!” *laughs*

Originally posted by mark-yientuan

Yugyeom: *giggles* “Thank goodness we’re getting so much closer together. Because I’ll tell you what babe, it wasn’t easy hiding farts from you when we spend pretty much every second together.”

Originally posted by got7gifs

Thank you for again for the request sweetie!! ~Em <3

N:  N would take up half a page just to tell you how awesome you are and how you should never change. He’d then reminisce about the fun times the two of you had together during the school year, and subtly hint at his crush on you before finally signing it and handing it to you. “*Holds it against his chest* Don’t read it until you get home. Please. -Hakyeon” 

Leo: Leo’s message to you would be short and sweet and hidden in the crack of the book’s spine where you could easily miss it. He wouldn’t make his crush on you obvious though in fear of the other students reading it and figuring it out. So, he’d secretly slip you his number in your backpack. “Have a good summer. –Taekwoon.”

Ken: Ken would draw you little doodles all over your yearbook and leave little messages next to any candid photos you may have throughout the yearbook. He’d even pick a random page to write you a little note about his feelings towards you, but you’ll have to decode a secret message in the back of the yearbook just to get to it. “Unscramble this: ese3aepg7 -Jaehwan”

Ravi: Ravi would write you a small poem. A poem he had been planning on writing for you and giving it to you as an end of the school year present. He will have no problems with other people reading it, as he’s confident you’ll get the message and feel the same way. “Always on my mind. Even when we play outside. Can you be my girl? -Wonshik the Swagmaster”

HongBin: Once a great number of people have already signed your yearbook, HongBin will find a nice little area at the bottom of the page write you a short and simple message with his phone number at the end. There’s no need to write that much if going to call him anyway. “See you next year. Or over the summer maybe? –HongBin (555-555-5555).”

Hyuk: Hyuk would remind you of the most embarrassing thing that you experienced during the school year that only he knew about. It would be in full detail on the bottom of the page and upside down too in order to draw people’s attention. And since he spilled your beans, he’ll write his number beneath his story as well. “Remember that time you were laughing so hard outside of class that you farted? I remember that. You stink. –Hyuk (555-255-5555)”

Thanks for asking!
-Admin Cheezy ^_^