laugh with my wife

anonymous asked:

Husband Lucas being sassy (💁🏼‍♂️) about calling you his wife (idk I feel like this would be funny and lowkey something he would actually do) (and js I don't mean in a mean/rude way just in his typical sassy hemmo way🙈)

“How’s (Y/N)?” Calum asks Luke as they sit in the studio, working on a new song. Luke grins, thinking of you. “She’s great.” He says, strumming a few notes on his guitar. The studio has been tense lately, everyone tired of late nights and everyone worrying about which songs the fans will like.

“(Y/N) is my wife, my wife, my wife!” Luke sings obnoxiously, strumming the guitar faster. The few people in the room all laugh a little. “Ohhhh, (Y/N) is my wife!” Luke continues, grinning as the room erupts into fits of laughter. He continues singing about you being his wife, unashamed.

Little did he know, Calum was recording the whole thing so that he could send it to you with the caption, “all I did was ask how you were.”

Late Late Show

Summary: At the launch of your new series Riverdale, you and Cole’s relationship has finally become public after KJ leaked a photo of you two out of character onto Twitter. In addition to dating him, your character is Jughead’s love interest, and so you have an interview with James Cordon.

Word Count: 1141

Originally posted by paranoid-papi

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

“Everyone please welcome, one of the newest stars of the CW’s hit Riverdale, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!”

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in which taako overreacts

((below includes a… vague reference to sex stuff?))

There are a number of things Taako’s seen that he really really regrets.  The Hunger destroying their home.  Death and destruction left in their wake.  Unseasoned chicken.  Barry in a speedo.

The new top of his list?  Magnus fucking Burnsides wearing a fucking dog collar.

“Nope,” he says when Magnus sits down with his share of pancakes from the stacks Taako had left in the warm oven, the blue of the dyed leather collar catching Taako’s eye immediately.  "Nope nope nope.  Nopeski, I’m out, Taako’s good anywhere but here.  Absolutely not.“

"Uh…” Magnus blinks sleepily at him.  "You okay?“

"Do I fucking look okay, Mr. ‘wears his weird kinky sex toys to the breakfast table’?” Taako asks.  Magnus, to his credit, has the decency to flush a bright, embarrassed red when he realizes what Taako’s talking about, one hand flying up to his neck.  "Yeah.  Congratulations, you absolute dickwipe, I now have a new number one most traumatic visual on my list.  Unseasoned chicken being served like it’s a fucking meal is no longer the worst thing I’ve ever seen, because I’ve seen evidence of what you and the bookworm get up to in private.“

He’s pushed himself up to his feet at some point without really noticing, and paces across the dining room.  

"Thank you for that mental scarring, Maggie.  I really really needed that.  I’d call you a bad boy but I don’t want to know if you’d enjoy it!”

“Uh,” Magnus says, and Taako silences him with a gesture.  

“No,” he says.  "I refuse.  You put those back,“ he points at the pancakes, "and take that thing off and also don’t talk to me for the next week”  He stalks out, unable to continue being in the room with Magnus.

Just before he gets out of earshot, he hears Magnus mournfully say, “I just wanted pancakes…”

When she is 5, she hears the word for the first time.

She’s still young, a child with two sisters who are playing in her mother’s fields.

“Love is all Aphrodite talks about.” Artemis says, mouth scrunched into a frown. “Such a nonsensical concept.” Athena says stretching beside her, “If I could be tempted to it, it would be for someone whose mind challenges my own, a storm in wit and in battles of war.”

Persephone tilts her head back, letting the sun brush gently down from her face to her toes.

“I’d do it for someone who has a hint of light in a mile of dark. Someone who is as cruel as he is just.”

Athena looks to Artemis and laughs lightly.

“Why you’ve described Death himself, gentle in his touch and cruel in his actions.”

Athena smiles and pats her head. “What a silly notion you have that death would fall in love with life.”

She’s 16, the first time she feels it. Love.

Hermes is lying beside her, long fingers that glide in circles at her shoulders. “You want so much.” He whispers. She nods. “I’m so hungry.” She leans in closer, “I could take bites out of the world, and I don’t think it would be enough.”

Hermes places light kisses down her neck. “You’ll have it. You’re going to have it all.”

She’s 20, the first time she notices his eyes on her. Love.

She doesn’t know why her gaze can’t be torn away from him. So odd. He seems as at home in the sun’s embrace as he does in the shadows he came from.

He beckons near her. Every step is power. Raw. Old. He’s seen the dawn and fall of many a world.

He can feel it, her lust for the smoke at his fingertips. Sweet little daisy crowned girl Goddess, they’ve underestimated you.

She’s two millennium old when she has it. Love.

“They’re going to write stories about us.” She says against his lips.

He laughs.

“Good. Let them know you weren’t just my wife. Let them know you were my Queen.”

L.H.Z // Maybe She wanted Darkness

Honestly? I can’t wait to have kids.
I can’t wait to watch my wife try and slowly manipulate her glowing body out of my car as we make our way to the ultra sound appointment.
I can’t wait to pull a small piece of paper out of my pocket that has about 300 questions I have to ask our doctor.
I can’t wait until the doctor tells me google exists and I will be just fine.
I can’t wait to stand in the book store carrying more “how to” books than necessary to the cash register. Looking both bewildered and enamoured as my wife shakes her head with embarrassment at my intense excitement.
I can’t wait to hear her tired voice ask me for Pringles and peanut butter.
I can’t wait to be laying on her belly and feel a small foot on the side of my head.
I can’t wait to see my beautiful wife standing in the mirror rubbing me stomach slightly concerned.
I can’t wait to reach my hands around and pull her in tight and whisper how utterly stunning she is. How unbelievably lucky I am. How unbelievably lucky our “little guy is.”
I can’t wait to discuss who’s genes you’re going to get. Argue over who’s nose we hope you have.
I can’t wait to hear the “it’s time.”
I can’t wait to be next to her, holding her hand. I know she’ll tell me she can’t do it. But I damn well know she can. She will be the strongest bravest person I know.
I can’t wait to hear your cries as you breath into this world.
I can’t wait to look down at my wife, exhausting, but glowing. She’ll be looking at you. But I’ll be looking at the two of you. No moment will ever match this. No moment will ever feel so accomplishing. So important. As to when I see my family together for the first time.
Honestly? I can’t wait to have kids.
I’m so excited to hear uncoordinated footsteps fill the hallways of my home. Followed by high pitched laughed filled screams and the voice of my wife shouting “I’m gunna getcha!”
I can’t wait to pull you both close onto my lap as I read the same bed time story I’ve read every single night for the past month.
Watch both of your chests rise and fall together as your breath becomes rhythmic.
I can’t wait to sit on that couch with you both asleep in my lap not wanting to move because no matter how tired, how uncomfortable I am. For god sakes I couldn’t look away if I tried.
There are so many things in this world I look forward too. But this lifetime I’m going to get to create? I am so excited for.
—  I can’t wait to meet you.

letsmysticmeessenger  asked:

Jumin reacting to an MC who left him and he sees them 1-3yrs later with twins.

Broken Promises 

“Why are you doing this to me? What have I done for you to treat me like a piece of garbage Jumin” 

You ran upstairs after your fleeing boyfriend begging for him to answer you. He come home late again but you didn’t care. You were happy that the man that owns your heart came home to you every night. However, this night was different than the rest. 

You had dinner and wine prepared for him to come home to so he can relax after his long day at the office. You made sure that Elizabeth 3rd, or what you like to call her Lady Elizabeth, was fed first and that her fur was brushed. You gave food to the guards because guilt entered your blood stream every night because they get little to no sleep. 

You were folding laundry when you heard the door open. You dropped what you were doing and followed your heart. Laying your eyes on him, you jumped on him hoping for a passionate kiss. Sadly, you were met with him taking your arms off him. 

“We need to talk” he walked to the living room and sat at the edge of the sofa “I need you to sign the confidentiallity agreement stating that you will not reveal our past relationship to the public nor to other businessmen” he pushed the stack of papers that were highlighted for your initials and signatures. 

You grabbed the papers and you weren’t sure if it was heavy because it was a lot or because this is how much you relationship weighed to him. You got up and tried to find answers in his eyes but all you saw was winter. You stepped closer to him and he stepped back afraid that your rays of light will melt away the coldness he has formed around his heart. 

“Jumin, I need you to explain to me whats going on! Why are you treating me like I’m some kind of business partner. I am your fucking girlfriend Jumin.” 

“You mean was. Now stop being complicated and sign the papers so we can both go our separate ways. I’ll pack your belongings for you so you don’t need to worry and reminisce on the way to my room.” His long legs were going up the stairs and you cried out for him but he didn’t stop. You were running after him hoping to still hold on the love that the both of you once shared. 

“Why are you doing this to me? What have I done for you to treat me like a piece of garbage Jumin” you cried out not noticing you missed a step. You prepared to feel a different type of pain but you felt coldness on your skin. You looked up and notice he isn’t the man that you fell in love with. 

“How pathetic are you? Im telling you to leave and yet you are practically begging for me. Get it through the thick skull of yours (y/n). I mistaken my loneliness for love. I thought I loved you but I just liked the feeling of being wanted.” 

*5 years later* *Jumins POV* 

I took my wife’s hand while we made our way to her brothers dinner. His family lives in the United States so I haven’t had the opportunity to meet her dearest brother. I only know the basics of him that he owns a company and that he has a wife and two kids. 

We rang the doorbell to be greeted by the maid and butler of the house. They took our coats and led us in. Their home was impressive to be quite frank. The decorations does seem rather familiar. While I was examining the decor and familiar fragrance led me to look at the stair way. 

“Eisuke!!” my wife shrieked and ran up to him. I don’t blame her it must be hard not seeing your brother for over 10 years. He gave a cocky smirk and my wife led him to me. He was seizing me up and scoffed while giving me a handshake. I tighten my grip to wipe that smirk off his face and he tighten it as well. “Eisuke, where’s my sister in law and the babies!” 

He turned his head to the side and pouted “She’s not done yet sister. She just loves making me wait” he sighed. My wife laughed and touched his shoulder “You don’t like waiting Eisuke, you must really love her” 

“He does” I heard a voice from the top of the stairway. I thought my eyes were deceiving me. I blinked a couple of times and it really is her. The woman I pushed away for my own selfish reasons. I looked towards Eisuke, my dear brother in law, and notice a sincere smile plastered on his face. She made her way down the stairs and went towards Eisuke and not even batting a single eyelash my way. “Im sorry I’m late my love” she gave him a peck on his lips. 

He pouted again and she playfully slapped his shoulders. They both smiled and he brought her body closer to him “You know you are the only woman I would wait for” My heart gave me a sting and my wife noticed the sudden change in expression. She asked (y/n) to take me to the restroom and I followed her up the stairs. On the way to the restroom, I heard children laughing that was easily contagious. (Y/N) looked at me with her lovely eyes and motioned for me to follow her. 

I entered a room covered in mint walls with stuffed animals and books perfectly place. I looked at the center of the room to see two children, fraternal twins in fact, playing with each other. We were staring at her kids play with each other and my body unconsciously moved closer to her. She stepped to the side to create the distance I once put. I then notice hands snake around her waist pulling her closer to Eisuke. He kissed her cheek and my thoughts were interrupted with my wife linking our arms together. She gave me a kiss on my cheek but I couldn’t stop my mind thinking that (y/n) is living the life that I’m suppose to live with her. Eisuke and my wife walked in front of us out of the children’s room and (y/n) looked at me “Crazy how I thought I was going to be your wife and now” she giggled “Im practically your sister in law. Life works a funny way.” 

Her words stunned me. Yeah, life does work in a funny way. 

Concept: I spend thanksgiving with my wife cooking in the kitchen together laughing. The kids can bring whoever they want, whoever they love and feel accepted. We can all discuss politics by being open-minded and tolerant. Every single person feels welcome at the table.

[trans] haruhana vol.41 NCT 127 SOLO QUESTIONS

Q1: Food you will LIMITLESS-ly eat and not feel tired from it?

Taeil: Sangyeopsal, Pizza (I like it all this while)
Johnny: Sandwich. I can eat it anywhere anytime, there’s so many types of it.
Taeyong: Sujebi (hand torn noodle soup). I have liked it since I was a kid
Yuta: Takoyaki. Isn’t it decided that it’s Takoyaki? (laughs)
Doyoung: Udon
Jaehyun: Water. I can drink it forever, no matter how much I drink it I won’t feel completely full from it.
Winwin: Meat (Chicken, beef)
Mark: Chicken. I can eat any type of chicken.
Haechan: Kimchi

Q2: Where would you go for a day for a holiday if not limited by the distance? 

Taeil: Kangwondo. I want to go to the ski-ing place, I want to ski and snowboard.
Johnny: To go to my house in America, and sleep on my own bed.
Taeyong: Youngster’s street, Shibuya. I like fashion, I want to try going.
Yuta: Europe or Italy. The streets look pretty.
Doyoung: Italy
Jaehyun: Neptune. I first place I want to go is the Neptune.
Winwin: I want to go to New Zealand. I love everything about that place.
Mark: I want to go to Canada, I want to stroll around the streets I lived in.
Haechan: Busan. I want to eat raw fish there.

Q3: Choose a member you want to be with forever.

Taeil: Johnny. We have common topics and match well. Even if I asked something weird, he still can interestingly and properly answer my questions.
Johnny: I love all members!!
Taeyong: Yuta. He’s the most carefree, I can be around him for a long time.
Yuta: No one. I don’t want to be with anyone till old age (laughs) I just want to be with my pretty wife in the future~… 
Doyoung: Taeil
Jaehyun: Winwin. We are same aged friends, we won’t get tired of each other.
Winwin: My friend Jaehyun
Mark: Winwin hyung. He’s amazing, I always see a new side about him.
Haechan: Doyoung hyung.

Q4: A song you like and will LIMITLESS-ly loop?

Taeil: NCT 127′s LIMITLESS. If you loop it, it’s a great song.
Johnny: Coldplay’s YELLOW
Taeyong: NCT 127′s LIMITLESS.
Yuta: DBSK’s BEGIN. I always listen to it before I sleep.
Doyoung: NCT 127′s SWITCH
Jaehyun: NCT 127′s LIMITLESS
Winwin: NCT 127′s LIMITLESS (^^)
Mark: Justin Bieber’s LOVE YOURSELF
Haechan: Michael Jackson’s BILLIE JEAN

Q5: Please list out a member’s charming points, as much as possible

Taeil: -> Johnny. Relaxing guy, tall guy, can communicate with anyone. Language skills (English, Korean, Chinese). Has lots of strength.
Johnny: -> Taeyong. He’s really so handsome. He understands things by just looking at us. And he’s cute too when he tries to be cool.
Taeyong: -> Yuta. Happy, always having fun, nice, passionate, hardworking, cool, manly, and a good friend of mine.
Yuta: -> Doyoung. Sings well. Great voice. The most proper member out of everyone. The one who gets everyone together. Voices out opinions well. 
Doyoung: -> Jaehyun. He has so many charms that it’s not possible for me to choose. If I had to choose, it would be his reverse charms. He’s manly yet gentle.
Jaehyun: -> Winwin. He is a happy go lucky person. He’s extremely pure but sometimes serious, I just love him so much.
Winwin: -> Mark. He has a great personality. He nice and cute. Great at rapping and dancing. His charms are limitless, really limitless. Mark with Limitless Charms
Mark: -> Haechan. Beautiful legs. Overflowing energy. Great at cooking. A prankster. He doesn’t listen, but it’s getting better (laughs) It’s deeply interesting how our personalities are completely different from each other.
Haechan: -> Taeil. Sings well. He’s good at playing instruments. He’s interesting. Amiable. Loves sports. 

Q6: A handwritten message for the fans

Taeil: (in Korean) Thank you everyone for your support all this while. We will continue to show a great stage from now to show our charms. NCT 127 fighting!
Johnny: (in Korean) I would be happy if we could have more chances meet fans in Japan more from now. Thank you for supporting us.
Taeyong: (in Korean) Dear Japanese fans. Thank you for always giving us your love and concerns. From now we will work hard, and give you the best NCT 127 you can see!!!
Yuta: (in Japanese, Kansai dialect to be exact lol) Dear fans in Japan, it’s Yuta!! Always always, thank you so much for your support ^^!! Take care of us from now okay ^^v
Doyoung: (in Korean) Dear fans of Japan, thank you for always loving us……… -(I can’t read anymore it’s too blur)-
Jaehyun: (in Korean) Please love us “limitlessly”~ ♡ I’m always thankful, and love everyone!!
Winwin: (in Japanese) From now please continue to support us
Mark: (in Korean) It’s my first time in Sapporo, it’s a pretty place and fans are really welcoming, I started to like Japan even more (^^) From now I’m happy to be able to visit Japan more often. Everyone, let’s meet again!!
Haechan: (in Korean)  Everyone, I’m so happy~!! Thank you!!


Author Notes 

Basically, my return from a dry patch. I do hope its okay.

An anon had requested Vulnerable Ivar smut. I do hope this is okay? (but not too similar to what I’ve already done) 


Pairing: Ivar x Reader 

Word count: 6,544

Warnings: SMUT, slight angst, first time. 

Originally posted by inthenameofodin


@nothingbuthappydays, @sweetvengeancee, @dangerousvikings, @hornyorca, @inthenameofodin, @guardianofthestars25, @sliceofparadise, @ivartrash, @ivars-pet, @more-thaan-words, @synnersaint, @sugakookiexx, @littlepanda-love, @float-autumn-leave, @ivartheboneme, @lordavanti, @tiyetiye,  @xxsophie-raabxx & @holy-minseok @ivarinleatherpants  @kirah34 @ceridwenofwales, @bluearchersstuff, @radi0active-thoughts, @sconniebelle, @fuckthatfeeling, @ivarbarnes, @ivars-heathen & @dani-si

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-Sometimes he has trouble being taken seriously

-he’s really handsome so a lot of women will try to commit minor crimes just to get his attention

- “Oh was I driving at 80 miles an hour in a 45 zone? I can be soo forgetful!”

- “ it’s alright ma'am, but I am going to need to see some liscence and registration.”

- Everyone kinda teases him for it back at the office.

- “Bet she wanted to show you more than just her liscnece haha”

- He only ever vents about it to you

- “I’m flattered, it’s just-” he pauses “I didn’t become an officer so that I could get constantly hit on.”

- You understand how he feels, he wants the people he works with to take him seriously

- “The way I see it, you can make your greatest weakness your strength” you say, taking a bit of your ravioli as he stares at you with a raised eyebrow from across the table.

- “Go on?”

- The next day when someone decides to let a parking meter run too long, he leaves the ticket

- “Oh no officer Grayson! I can’t believe I forgot to put in some money”

- “It’s alright ma'am, just make sure to pay the ticket on time.”

- This is different from his usual routine of giving people warnings

- Dick’s tickets become the stations leading cause of revenue

- They even give him a medal

- “I’m so proud of you baby” you murmur as you kiss his cheek

- “I owe it all to you”

- He uses his profession to show off for you all the time

- “Do you know why I stopped you today?” He asks, and your eyebrows thread together

- “Officer, I don’t think I was spee-”

- “You left without giving me a morning kiss.” He grins, and you can’t help but laugh

- “Well let me correct that mistake right now officer.”

- It looks a little weird that some hot chick is kissing an officer to other people just driving to work

- “The lucky bastard”

- And of course if some of his admirers are lurking they’ll be overcome with jealousy

- “Why can’t I ever get out of a ticket like that?”

- A lot of policeman balls

- “Who’s this Grayson? One of your admirers?” Dick shakes his head as his colleague laughs

- “This is actually my wife (Y/N)”

- Everyone stops laughing at that

- Dick’s so charming, and honestly a bit of a flirt, that most of the people he works with didn’t think he had a steady girlfriend, let alone a wife

- “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

- On top of that you’re actually a really decent person, the perfect match for the golden boy

- You meet up with him for lunch at a crummy diner across from the precinct every Wednesday, and if he’s ever feeling low

- “Hey (Y/N), do you think I can order cereal here?”

- You look up from your menu with a raised eyebrow

- “I mean, I’m sure you could, but wouldn’t you rather have pancakes?”

- He purses his lips, taking a very hard look at the menu in front of him

- “I kind of want corn flakes”

- “It’s one thirty in the afternoon Dick”

- “So maybe fruit loops?”

- “I’m ordering for you.”

- Honestly he had cereal for breakfast, how can he crave cereal so frequently

- There’s only two things you can gaurentee Dick wants at any given time

- Cereal

- …. and you

- Sunday morning where you glance at the paper while making coffee and Dick is basically just clinging to you from behind, his head resting on top of yours

- When the coffees done you nudge him and he looks up only so that you’ll brink the coffee to his lips from his mug of choice

- And then when he’s done with the sip and he’ll just go back to resting his head on top of yours and snuggling you from behind

- He’s just a big ol’ sweetie

A/N: I’m baaaaaaaaaack! :)

  • *On the way to Dragonstone*
  • Jon: Is Sansa okay? Should I turn back? I should turn back. She needs me.
  • Davos: Your grace, for the last time, your lady sister will be just fine. She is a strong woman.
  • Jon: *huffs*
  • Davos: *sighs*
  • *Drinking wine with Tyrion*
  • Jon: Sansa thinks highly of you, ser. And I trust in her judgement. She's an amazing woman.
  • Tyrion: Yes, my wife is *laughs*
  • Jon: *angry kitten growls* Not your wife. My Sansa.
  • Tyrion: Uh....
  • *Meeting Theon*
  • Jon: I must thank you for bringing Sansa back to me. For that, all is forgiven.
  • Theon: She deserves to be safe. I only want her to be safe.
  • Jon: *annoyed kitten growls* Yes, yes and I'll be the one to protect her now. She's my Sansa.
  • Theon: Uh....
  • *Speaking to Daenerys*
  • Dany: And it is your sister now ruling in your stead?
  • Jon: Yes, my Sansa. She's wonderful and fierce and strong. I have no doubt she will be just the most amazing ruler there ever was. The North is lucky to have her. The world is lucky to have her. *sighs dreamily* I'm lucky to have her.
  • Dany: Uh....
  • *Meets the Hound*
  • Jon: *knife to the throat, angry murderous kitten growling* You ever come near Sansa, you ever touch her or speak to her and I'll kill you myself!!
  • Sandor: All I said was hello...


She was his wife now. He couldn’t stop beaming at her, as she smiled and twirled and glowed with happiness.

Captain Hook, a married man. Married to the Savior no less, but even so: married.

He recalled the days when he pined after this woman, wondering if she might ever see him as something more than just a pirate.

Only in his most wondrous dreams did he ever think she would be his wife.


He stared at the ring on his hand. Somehow, the curse had left it untouched.

A wedding band. His wedding band.

It had been real. No curse could take that from him.

But it could take something else from him: his wife.


Climbing the beanstalk without his wife was eerie.

Bloody hell, he’d been teasing her at the time, hoping to unsettle her enough to get her to reveal more information about herself. The more he understood her, the better he could use her.

You never forget your first. How little he’d realized how much that would come to mean.

Last he’d been here, she’d been a reluctant ally who had, hours earlier, been fully prepared to let him die at the hands of ogres.

Now, she was his wife.


He was about to see his wife die.

There had been a small glimmer of hope this whole time, that she could defeat prophecy and visions as surely as she’d defeated so much darkness before.

But not now. She’d tossed aside her sword. Gideon was going to run her through, while the rest of them just watched.

While he just watched.

Watched as someone killed his wife.


His wife lay in his arms, with her head on his chest. He stared down at her left hand, which rested on top of his right; they’d found her rings in the little ring dish in the bathroom, much to her relief.

He was lying in bed with his wife. He chuckled weakly.

“What?” she asked.

“You’re my wife.”

She laughed gently. “Yeah, I know. And you’re my husband.”

He smiled.