laugh with my wife

2

felicity: okay but can you say something because my mom has forty seven other dresses for us to still try on in the other room, i counted, and this one makes me feel like a cupcake and-

laurel: you look beautiful.

felicity: you look- wow.

laurel: :)

au: the laulicity wedding :’)

4

Anna runs into the room, waves awkwardly. Kai ushers her over to stand right next to Elsa. She and Elsa sneak awkward peeks at each other. {x}

our album setlist predictions for the next Andy Black album:

-Daddy Issues
-I Love My Beautiful Amazing Wife
-You’re a Sociopath
-I’m an Adult
-I’m an Adult 2: I’M A FUCKING ADULT
-We Don’t Have To Dance (the Remastered Version)
-I Love My Beautiful Amazing Wife (acoustic)
-Veganism ft. Juliet Simms
-I Love Scientology ft. Juliet Simms
-I Got 99 Hairstyles But 2010 Andy Sixx Ain’t One
-I Love My Beautiful Amazing Wife (the ballad)
-Just 3 Minutes Straight of Andy Laughing At His Own Jokes
-WHODEYWHODEYWHODEY
-I Love My Beautiful Amazing Wife (club remix)

“So,” Kelly smiled, looking across at Jared, “I hear you’re just back from a vacation with your fiancée.”

“Uh, well,” he huffed a small laugh. “Actually, it was my honeymoon with my wife.”

Kelly gasped, feigning surprise.

Of course, you’d informed them before that he’d be breaking the news on Live With Kelly, but it would be a shock to the viewers so she reacted accordingly.

Jared grinned, scratching the back of his head and showing off his new wedding band.

“You guys tied the knot?” she clarified, and Jared nodded.

“We did. We had a small ceremony in Hawaii with some friends and family,” he expanded, “And then the two of us flew to New Zealand for our honeymoon.”

The camera cut to you as you were grinning, your husband shooting you a wink.

“Well, congratulations to the two of you,” Kelly stated, and Jared shot her a dimpled smile back.

“Thank you.”

gif submitted by my fav sibling @latinenglishfandomblog

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Dear Future Wife...#634

Your smile stops me in my tracks sometimes. I lose air in my lungs and just have to take a second, soak it all in. It could be a quiet moment, in the house…I’m turning a corner and there you are, looking up from whatever you were doing and flashing that smile at me. Or I’m running errands or on the job, and I feel the buzz in my pocket. You sent me two selfies and you’re making a silly kissy face in one and smiling adorably in the other and I melt because I love when you’re goofy, but those lips are also teasing me to come home faster. When I look over at you driving or sitting next to me, you’re looking straight ahead, but I see that grin bloom because you’ve realized I’m staring at you. That little chuckle that comes out before you say “I know you’re looking at me” melts me inside. That sleepy smile right before bed and soon after we wake up…the one that makes me feel invincible because you’re just so happy and safe and cozy because I’m the one next to you. If that’s not one of the best feelings in the world, then I don’t know what is.

my lesbian biology professor teaching genetics
  • professor: so if this parent is hetero and this parent is homo
  • professor: ... well i'll say homozygous so i don't offend anyone.
  • professor: actually i'm a homo so i'll say homo
  • students: *laughing*
  • professor: why are you laughing? my wife can attest to this!
2

What’s your favorite season?

Jared: this is easy season four because it when I met my wife and mother of my children.

The crowds awes and Jensen rolls his eyes.

Jensen: Really? You went there?

Jared (laughs):oh yea

Jensen: alright, season one because I met my wife first.

Jared: But you didn’t marry her till Season 10!

Jensen: I met her first, I win. Plus my wife’s still on the show (he coughs)

Jared: bc you killed mine off!

Jensen: she started the apocalypse

Jared: I think I see Chloe texting Gen backstage telling her “yea we got to divorce these guys…”

Don't be an Asshole to my Wife

We’re sitting, talking with this English woman last night. I won’t go through the whole horrible exchange, but it led to her asking me if I thought my wife was hotter than her 😳

Who the fuck even asks that??? Wife’s in shock, there’s a table of Americans next to us just staring at each other with “Did she just fucking say that?” looks, and she’s still all happy and cheery, utterly oblivious to how fucked up that question was.

So I say “Of course! She’s more beautiful than any woman in the world.” And then she fucking says “Name one way she’s hotter than me.” My wife’s looking ready to punch her, the table next to us is looking ready to punch her. I say “Her ass is waaaaaay hotter.” and she asks me how, so I explain “Because she actually has one.”

She storms off, my wife can’t stop laughing and the Americans are looking at each other like…

Originally posted by ba1n3s