The signs as coffee

Taurus : an entire french press that was made at home that will last the owner approximately an hour before they make another one but you can bet your buttons it was locally sourced

Gemini : iced, black coffee, with 2 packets of splenda, every day at the exact same time, from the same Starbucks on the corner. The barista knows everything and nothing about them.

Cancer : a medium mocha, left to cool down on the window sill with latte art on top that you see on instagram but the photographer spilled it everywhere right after getting the perfect shot and now has to deal with sticky clothes and half the coffee they wanted

Leo : that one pot of coffee in the office that inexplicably makes better coffee so it’s always full except when you want to get a drink and you know all the machines are the same and all the packets of pre measured coffee are the same but stillllll

Virgo : an iced latte surrounded by empty iced latte cups you find surrounding a sleeping student in the library at 8 am how long have they been there the campus coffee shop closes at midnight and opens at 6 how do they have so many empty cups

Libra : a half empty cup of mystery coffee someone left on the bus because I guess they must have been in a hurry to get off why would you disrespect your coffee like this?

Scorpio : a cup of plain black coffee when the owner actually wanted a frappuccino but screwed up so now they’re overloading it with honey and cinnamon and now it’s undrinkable but they’ll choke it down anyway to save face even though no one cares

Sagittarius : a piping hot pumpkin spiced latte drunk with friends who all have the exact same thing, they pretend they’re drinking it ironically, only one person actually likes the taste but will pretend they don’t

Capricorn : a light roast dry cappuccino  from the local coffee house in a reusable coffee cup they got from a local artist with eight fucking shots of espresso in it where did they all go you will die if you aren’t careful man what are you doing man

Aquarius : it’s tea except when anyone’s looking

Pisces : it’s actually hot chocolate, can’t stand the taste of coffee except when they’re studying then it’s an americana with 9 packs of sugar and tears

Aries : who cares it’s all over the ground anyway

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