latly

Hey y'all I leave for camp tomorrow so I won’t be posting much for the next week. I know i haven’t been very constant with posts in general latly but once I get back I promise I’ll be more active. I love y'all so much so stay safe while I’m gone ok.

Where’s my Art?

Hey guys sorry for the inactivity, I’ve only been reblogging stuff here and there. I’m not really doing too much fanart anymore I’m putting all my attention into me and @pyrodawndragon ‘s OC designs and setting up a story for them. If you guys wanna see the character designs so far check out @dimensia

thanks so much, Kisses! <3

I love the BPD community, dont get me wrong; it has helped me through a lot and I wouldnt understand myself to the level I do today without it.

But damn does this place get toxic.

Ive been seeing people making posts about hurting your FP when they make you upset, or suicide baiting for attention, or stalking your loved ones so that you know they arent cheating or betraying your trust; and its all treated as some sort of quirky ‘relatable’ thing.

Believe it or not, your mental illness is not an excuse to be toxic. It can be hard to be a very healthy person in relationships, especially with how much our own minds tend to add venom to any given situation, but trying is not optional.

FOLLOW SPREE!!! ♥

Back on Tumblr and all the blogs i followed hadn’t been active and my interest changed latly. So i need new content and awesome people an my dash! 

if you post/reblog:

- Yuri!!! on Ice
- Fullmetal Alchemist
- Harry Potter
- Inuyasha
- Parks and Recreation
- Akame ga kill
- Videogames
- Tokio Ghul
- Sailor Moon
- Attack on Titan
- Good Anime in general, so I maybe can find something new. (;

It would be nice, if you have a tagging system and you don’t have to be content creator or follow me, I’ll check out your blog anyways,

Please like or reblog (you can tag your fandoms) and i will check out your blog! If mutuals would reblog this to spread the word, it would be very nice ♥

Stay The Night
Green Day
Stay The Night

Green Day - Stay The Night

Well I ain’t got much time so I’ll get to the point
Do you wanna share a ride and get the fuck out of this joint?
I’ve got an impulse so repulsive that it burns
I wanna break your heart until it makes your stomach turn

I gotta know if you’re the one that got away
Even though it was never meant to be

2

“On my carpet?!”

Dean x Reader, Sam, Charlie

Enjoy!

“So if we have this curve y gotta be equal to -(sin(x^(1.7/6)+4)+(1/x))+10.”, you wrote down the equation and looked over the curvature once again. This had to be right. You were sitting on this math problem for 2 hours now and you had headaches from it.
Suddenly someone placed his hands on your shoulder massaging them.

“Babe? You shouldn’t be up this long.”, Dean said with his sleepe voice and you glanced over to the clock. 2:46 am. Oh crap.

“Yeah I know. But I gotta study in my freetime to pass my finals.”, you sighed and leaned back so the back of your head touched his stomach. You looked up to him so he bend down to give you a quicl kiss.

“I think you studied enough today. Let’s get to bed.”, he whispered against your lips and smiled. You pushed him away gently with an apologizing smile and shook your head.

“You go. I’ll come when I’m done alright?”, you said and he looked at you with a raised brow but sighed eventually.

“Alright. Don’t over work yourself.”, he said before placing a kiss on your head and leaving to go to bed.

“I hate my life.”, you groweled thinking of Dean lying in bed half naked and that you could have been in his arms kissing him.
But no these problems had to be solved until tomorrow and you didn’t have time to do them because you were out on a hunt with the boys. Great.

***

“God? Did you sleep here?!”, you woke up to Deans not so amused voice. Your eyes flattered and you saw him standing in the door frame. You raised your head a paper attached to your face and you got rid off it.

“Mh..uh.”, you grunted and closed your eyes again but then it hit you.

“What time is it?”, you shrieked and jumped up rushing to your room.

“11:45”, Dean yelled from the kitchen and you lost it.
While swearing you threw over something an walked to the kitchen while brushing your teeth. You poured some coffee in a cup and took a slice of bread after washing your mouth. You took a sip from the coffe and a bite from the bread before grabbing your stuff.

“I’ll take baby. She is faster. See you.”, you said while Dean was watching you with confused eyes and a shocked expression on his face.

“Wait…”, you heard him say before you closed the door and hurried to the car.

***

It was past 7pm when you got back to the bunker and you were dead. Not literally but you know…on the inside.
As soon as you got in you threw your stuff in a corner and let yourself fall onto the couch burrying your face into the pillows groaning.

“Y/N?”, you heared Sams voice come from the kitchen and looked up.

“Mh.”, you mumbled as an answer and he appeared behind the table.

“Where were you? We were worried.”, he said and immidiatly you face palmed yourself and sat up. You forgot your phone at home so you couldn’t call the boys, Dean, that you had to take extrs classes for the exam next week. Mother effin crap.

“I suppose Dean is mad?”, you asked Sam but it wasn’t really a question because it was too obvious.

“He isn’t just mad. He is furious.”

“Alright. I should talk to him.”, you said and stood up feeling very tired.

“Oh no. I wouldn’t. Just leave him alone until he cools off. You know how he is. He will say stuff which will break your heart.”, he said but you shook your head aiming for Deans room.

“I think I can handle a little grumpy Dean. Don’t worry.”, you said and left him in the Map-Table-Room.

You knocked on his door and went in to find Dean sitting on the bed while staring at the floor.

“Hey.”, you said and his head shot up and you thought your heart stopped for a second facing his angry eyes.

“Woah. Yeah you’re angry.”, you said closing the door behind you and walking over to him.

“Look Dean I’m sorry. I forgot my phone at home but I should’ve called you somehow to tell you that I’d be late. It’s just I was busy during these…”

“I’m done.” He said it very quietly but his voice cut through your voice like a knife.

“W-what?”, you gasped trying to keep breathing.

“Dean there is no need to get alll…”, you started but he cut you off a second time.

“I’m done Y/N. You hear me? I’m done watching you destroy yourself.”, he said raising his voice and he stood up. You took a deep relieved breath hearing what he meant by ‘I’m done’.

“That’s not what I do. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine.”, you said with a little smile but that made him even more angry.

“Don’t worry? Fine? Do you listen to yourself? You didn’t sleep all night, you didn’t rest, you didn’t eat, you didn’t drink. You’re gonna kill yourself. And I won’t watch you do that.”, he said and after a long silence and after you could move again you walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder but he stepped back and you could’t hold back a hurt expression.

“Dean it’s not like that. Yes I’m a little tired but I’m happy. And you knew taking me in this life that I would either be all in or all out. You knew I would help you hunt and keep studying. I told you that before I moved in. And you were okay with that.”, you said giving him a little warn sign not to cross the line.

“Yeah I did. But I’m watching you fade away day by day. That’s not what I agreed with. Tell me. Did you eat somethibg today at school?”, he asked you with furrowed brows and crossed his arms over his chest.

You couldn’t answer that because he knew that you didn’t because you started to keep forgetting it and loose weight.
Thinking about it you also got sick more often the past few months so you mirrored his gesture defensivley.

“That’s what I’m talking about. Until you decide what you really want I’m done.”, he said looking away and your mouth deopped open.

“Either you study and stop hunting or you hunt and stop studying so you keep living. I donmt want to burry another person I love. So I’m done until you tell me what you want.”, he said and wanted to rush out of the room but you kept him from that by grabbing his arm. He definetly crossed a line.

“That’s enough. Dean you’re going too far.”, you said under your breath.

“No, Y/N. I’m not. I’ve been thinking about this latly and today I decided to do it even if it hurts. I had to confront you with the truth.”, he said with no emotion on his face and you let go of his arm being hurt.

“Is that so? You were thinking about leaving me for a while now? Alright. So be it.”, you said angry and took your car keys from the desk.

“Y/N that’s not what I said, not what I meant…”

“Oh I know exactly what you meant Dean. Fuck off.”, you said and rushed out of the room going to your bag again.

“Oh no. Y/N I told you not to.”, Sam said standing behind you and you shrugged.

“He was going to do it anyway so it doesn’t mater.”, sobbed because you couldn’t hild back the tears.

“I’m staying at Charlie tonight. Maybe for this week or month. Whatever.”, you said wiping over your face to make the tears go away.

“Wha-what? Why?”, he said confused but he got it eventually,“Dean! What did you do?”, he yelled and Dean came in.

“Nothing. Shut up.”, he told his little brother and came over to you takibg your bag away.

“Y/N. Stop it.”, he said and you lost it and slapped him in his face.

“You tell me you’re done with me because I go after my dreams, after I work so hard to do everything at the same time to be happy. To be with you and hunt and study. You tell me to stop? I come home from college, tired but happy to be home. To be with you. Maybe cuddle and watch a movie to relax and search for a job the other day because I love to hunt with you guys. I come home to finally relax and let go but what happens? You tell me you’re done. Instead of showing me that you are worried like a normal human being and talking it through you tell me it’s over until I fucking decide what I want more? Newsflash Asshat: I know what I want and it was this life with you and hunting and graduating. Instead of supporting me in my last year of college you say you’re done. So don’t tell me to fucking stop it.”, you yelled and grabbed your bag and left without letting him answer.

***

It was a month after that when someone knocked repeatedly on the door and yelled something in the middle of the night. Charlie and you looked at each other in confusion and she got up to get it.

“I know who it is.”, she said to herself and left.

You didn’t talk to them this past week. You didn’t pick up the phone, you didn’t reply to his text messages and when he came to talk Charlie didn’t let him in. You were still angry and not ready to face him.

“No..Dean No. She is asleep. You…not right now. De..stop!”, you heart parts from there conversation and the next thing you knew was Dean stumbling into the living room looking for you.

“Y/N.”, he sighed and looked at you with big eyes. Oh no. He was drunk.

“Y/N.”, he said again took a step forward stumbled and fell. You hurried to him immidiatly. He was laying on his back, his eyes closed and furrowed brows.

“Dean? What are you doing here?”

He opened up his eyes and started smiling when he saw you.

“Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are? Even from the angle you look like an angel.”, he whispered and grinned afterwards.

“Alright big boy. Get up.”, you sad and put his arm around your shoulders and pulled him up and threw him on the couch where he was half laying and half sitting while you fell onto him because his weight.

“Mmh…I missed your scent.”, he mumbled into your hair which made you hurry to get up.

“I need you to get you into the shower…Charlie? Charlie!”, you yelled but she didn’t respond. The son of a bitch left. Crap.

“Dean? Dean. Look at me. We gotta get to the bathroom alright? But I need your help.”, you said while helping him stand up and you stumbled together to the bathroom where you sat him into the shower and opened up the water.

“No. Dean doesn’t like showering with his clothes.”, he protested and wanted to get up which you failed to stop.

“Alright! Alright. Take your shirt off. But keep your Jeans on.”, you said and watched him take off his shirt proudly. You had ro stop staring at his beatiful body and focus. This bastard.

“Now. I’ll make you some coffee while you stay in here alright?”, you said really slowly so he could understand.

“Okidokie.”, Dean answered smiling and leaned back against the shower wall. Yoi turned your back at him before you smiled and left.


***


After making him a coffee you went back to the bathroom and you were shocked to find him just with a towel around his waist standing infront of the mirror.
As you came in he looked at you and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I uh…need some clothes.”, he said into the silence ignoring the sexual tension between you two.

“Right. Uh…Charlie should have something off yours.”, you said and left the bathroom immidiatly.
You found an old Short and some sweat-pants which you gave him.
You were sitting infront of him playing woth your hands while he drank his coffee because he was still slightly drunk.

No one said anything until he finished his coffe and the tension between you two cam to an unbearable point.

“Alright. I think you’re good. I’ll call Sam so he can pick you up.”, you broke the silence this time brabbeling and jumped up to get your phone.

“Y/N wait!”, he said grabbing your wrist and pressing you against his chest.
“Dean please.”, you said with a shaky voice because you were about to loose controll. Whatever happened you still love this asshole.
“I miss you.”, he said placing his forehead against yours and his breath brushed over your skin so you closed your eyes.

“You know we need to talk about everything? It was really hard this time.”, you sad breathless and let him hold your hands.
“I’m so sorry. For everything.”, he said and you nodded because you knew. You knew why he acted out like that. He didn’t wanna loose you. But he never was the good one dealing with words. Expressing himself in the right way. He was too emotional for that. He doesn’t think before he talks. He doesn’t have that filter.

But that was the reason why you two got together in the first place. You placed your lips on his very gently and he kissed back with a sigh.
You two didn’t make it to the bed…or the couch. The carpet was just fine. For you but not for the owner.

You didn’t hear someone come in because you were busy cuddling with Dean and kissing his chest and jokinh around. Thank god you main parts were covered with the this sheet which Charlie always puts on the couch when she came in.

“Oh god. Oh god. On my carpet? Really? I can’t…I’ll just…I…You bitches.”, you heared her say and slam the door on her way out.

After you progressed the first shock both of you bursted out laughing naked on the carpet of Charlie Bradbury.