late night*

“I’m so tired of loving you in my sleep and waking up alone.”

–a special kind of hell

02:06|Thursday

I wish them all luck. All the people who came and left with ease, I truly hope they got what they came for. I’ve always been available. I probably always will be. I think that’s just my role in this whole thing. I don’t stop being compassionate. I don’t stop being the giving type. It’s just how I was designed and I’ll do what I have to do to play my part. In that, I can’t help but long for the day when I receive all the tenderness and love that I have been giving. I won’t hold my breath though. That’s for sure. 

Aries: You are alluring, enchanting and full of wolfs screams. You’re not a bad person for letting words escape your lips, you’re not bad if you feel regret after exploding. Accept yourself ‘cause let’s face it, you’re pretty damn great.

Taurus: You have hands that heal wounds, your touch made them feel so much better about their scars. Why can’t you just know that you aren’t an open wound anymore, you’re not bleeding. You have eyes like romanticized suicide, hush it’s alright; just not tonight.

Gemini: Your hair is flowing like the silk on your mattress made of broken dreams. Award winning lips spilling misleading sips of information like honey slips from the tips of the toes of bees. You don’t know, but it’s better to move on than to let go. It won’t show, but you grow; inside.

Cancer: How sweet it is to be loved by you, how cruel it is to be hated by you. You have a venomous edge but your compassion makes you sting yourself. Take care of yourself for once, it’s medicine to the ones who care too much, I think it’s called love.

Leo: You always cloud your own mind, a different track of thoughts every time. An aposiopesis that’s not to be controlled, they’re gone. Wanderer of the past, basking in dark halls filled with harps and sirens luring people in. You’re bewitching your own mind, stop. They can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe.

Virgo: You are all the seasons and all the colors, you overwhelm me with scent, taste and sight. Too many feelings for such a soul, nimiety. Breathe, you’re okay. You’ll be okay love. The seasons all stop changing eventually, and the rain eventually stops cascading down the windows of your soul. Close your eyes and hold on tight, it’s a wild ride to come where you belong.

Libra: You have comeliness, you paint the town in black and white with bright red eyes and vibrant lights. I can’t believe your art is less beautiful than you, it’s more beautiful than me. It’s as beautiful as you, pulchritude.

Scorpio: You write an encomium about someone cantankerous. You don’t have to put up with the shit of someone who gives you nothing but tears. Fly like an eagle, you’re strong & free. And so much more than what you think you are and should be. You’re a dark soul, a warrior with a knife and Scarlett blood running down open wounds. Just because people can’t see your pain doesn’t mean you’re not hurt. Outlast the ignorance, you know its going to get better.

Sagittarius: You lost yourself in the alleyway you divagated in. You waylaid the demons in your heart, you’re sparkling scintillas of hope. “HOPE” is knitted on your blue denim jacket. Your thoughts are blue clouds of smoke filled with ‘h o p e’ Don’t become hopeless, unless it’s hopelessly in love. Stay a believer, don’t let them take you.

Capricorn: Don’t be beguiled by the tactlessness of heartless people, you are made in heaven off feather wings and pearly eyes. People would do kinesics on you all day because you move and work so angelic. You’re a kind soul not to be befouled.

Aquarius: You are abstruse. Don’t feel abashed because of your own self complexity, you are a puzzle made of thousands of colors and thoughts left unsaid. You’re waggish, laughing at the insults that hurt you ‘cause humor is the best coping mechanism. Nobody will think you’re hurt even though their nescience throws you off, don’t worry. You’re smarter than they know.

Pisces: Unflegged, innocent, dainty, I know how they portray you. But they know your words & not your thoughts. The darkness lurking at late night and the stars shining in your bright eyes, don’t let the stars stop shining for people who like rain better than sunshine. Shine. Shine to keep yourself warm and don’t burn yourself down to keep others warm. They don’t deserve your heat.

—  Late night writing.
8

“Have you had any awkward fan interactions?”

“I’m hugely lucky because people always tend to be very, very nice, particularly playing a character like Brienne of Tarth, people can be very enthusiastic…To one extent…”

I’m homesick for something that never existed.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write, 72
“Fictional”