late night musings with gabriella


People don’t understand that I’m perpetually confused. Everyone around me seems to know what they’re doing, they have life goals, plans, strategies. They see I’m confused and they say “It’s fine”
“What’s fine?” I shout internally, “What is IT?”
It feels like being five again, the other children not letting me play a secret game. What’s this key that I haven’t discovered, the method, the plan, where am I going wrong?
It is like being sat at a desk in a room full of people, and asked to write about “It”.
“Write what?” you ask, but you are only told “It” and you are none the wiser, only to see the rest of the room hastily writing, enthusiastic because they understand the task.