late night letter writing

I don’t think I want things how they used to be. That would be a lie, or it would require forgetting all these decisions and we can’t do that with the risk of similar mistakes. I was a different person, and so were you (I think I still love that version of you anyways). I just want things to be better, to feel better. To wake up and want to be there and if possible be with you. But I don’t believe in miracles, not really. Just the fact that you once loved me was enough magic for a lifetime, and you know how I feel about letting go.
I’m still trying but at least I can say I don’t love you anymore.
I hope you can stand the late night voicemails and panicked texts; I’m trying to survive.
—  Letter to a friend
And I can’t help but laugh every time I remember how angry it made you that I wouldn’t talk to you. You wanted a reaction from me, you wanted some satisfaction that you still had a hold on me. But baby girl, a liar and a cheater will NEVER get that reaction from me. I’m worth too damn much to lower myself for someone like you.

Dear Lover,

1. You need to know that I will love you through literally everything.
You did something wrong? It’s okay, people make mistakes, it’s what makes us human and I want to help you grow from it. No matter what you did, you will learn from it and I will forgive you but more importantly, I will help you forgive yourself.
You reached success with something? I’m so proud of you. I will help you feel proud of yourself, pride in yourself is important. No matter how small your success you deserve praise.

2. Please please please talk to me. I know this is very vague but that’s really all there is. If something excites you and you think of telling me about it, do it. Your happiness makes me happy and the smallest details in your life, joyous or sorrowful, are important to me. I will always care about what you have to say.

3. Never ever ever feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to around me. If you are ever uncomfortable in any situation I will help you become comfortable. Your needs are important, even if that need is for me to go away. My only request is that you let me know what’s going on so I understand.

4. All I could really ask of you is your honesty. Anything you tell me will be appreciated if it’s said honestly. Even if it’s negative. Yes, the truth can hurt sometimes but at the end of the day the fact that you chose to be honest with me will help me to forgive, love, and trust you more.

5. All of these things I will do for you as well. With two people there are two parts and to expect you to hold up your end of the deal without doing the same has never seemed right to me. There is work involved. Please hold up your end so I can hold up mine.

6. I am still learning a lot of this. We can learn together. No matter how long or short our time in life together, we can learn from each other.

—  Letters to My Lover, 6 Things I Need You to Know. By d-earvincent.

“Hey you.
It’s been quite awhile…
No I haven’t forgotten about you, I’ve just been tied up, you know, with life and everything.
I just wanted to say I’m sorry, and I know just saying it can’t really make up for it, but I do really mean it.
I’m sorry for all the pain.
I didn’t realize what an amazing girlfriend you were to me, and I wish I could go back and change that.
I’m sorry for that night, the horrible things I did. You deserved better.
I’m sorry…
I can’t believe how much you’ve changed, you’re still gorgeous as ever though.
And I hope that guy treats you right, you deserve the world.
I hope he can be the man that I failed to be.
Again, I’m sorry, I just wanted you to know that..

With love,

—  You’re one year too late and it would have been better if you just never said anything at all…

I remember that day and the days after. I cried till my eyes were swollen and dry. I wanted to puke my heart out and shatter every memory of you.
I thought of you everyday. And I kept waiting like an idiot wondering if I lingered long enough, you would run back apologizing for all the pain you caused.
But you didn’t.
And now I know you never will.
You’re never going to apologize for what you did because you think you did nothing wrong.
And if that’s the case, I’d rather never speak to you again.

So don’t merrily text me out of the blue, asking how I am months later because you’re surprised I managed to crawl out of that hell hole you pushed me in.

—  Just don’t.
I miss the way you smell. I miss the way you do that biting lip roll without thinking about it. I miss how you pick the skin off around your fingers the way that I do too. I miss when you’d stare at me until I noticed & then we’d both smile big. I miss the feel of your skin on mine. I miss the way your heart sounds when I lay on your chest. I miss your laugh, I haven’t forgotten it. I miss your kisses. I miss rubbing my hand along your back. And I miss the way your spine isn’t straight, although I’m sure you wish it was. I miss the color of your hair, and the way it smells too. I miss the shine in your eyes. They sparkle so beautifully. I miss your tallness. I miss the way you hold me. I miss bopping your nose. I miss you bopping mine back. I miss the way we hold hands when I drive, there’s no good way to do it when you drive a stick. I miss your chipped nail polish. I miss the freckles or beauty marks on your face, let’s go with beauty marks because you’re beautiful. I miss touching your butt in public. Especially when you tell me to stop, because I wanna touch it so much more then. Even though I hate when you say uhuh, I miss the way you exaggerate it. I miss the way you’d put lotion on my face after we shower. And the way you brush my hair, because apparently my parents never taught me right. I miss the way you hug me. I miss the way you get sad, and bury your head into my neck. Though I dislike when you’re sad. I miss kissing you, not just when you kiss me. I miss the way we walk in sync. Baby, I just miss you. I’ll come home soon.
—  callmesmallz94 (a letter to my girlfriend wavecrestvibe)
An open letter to anyone who has ever been a second choice

To whom it may concern,
The second his lips left mine, I knew it would be the last time. I tried my very hardest to taste him, feel him, be with him one more time, but I learned the hard way that when you’re someone’s second choice, you will never be their first. And it takes a lot of pain and wondering to figure this out, trust me I know. I spent many a days curled at the base of my shower, confusing my tears for bath water, and all for what, a boy? A boy who will never feel the way I feel about him? A boy who used me for what my body could give him and nothing more? I will never understand why we do this to ourselves, I don’t think anyone will, but I do understand that this is not the end, if anything this is a blessing, a beginning. This is the time when I can see where my life will take me, I will not be held back by anyone. So if the person who holds your heart only see you as a second choice, take back what is yours, take back all that you laid out to them, you don’t need them anymore. And I know it’s hard to leave behind those feelings, and it will be hard, but eventually someone will come along and make you feel like the most important person in the world. They will want you so much that they would pull the moon and the sun out of the sky just for you, just to see you smile, because to them your smile is the brightest thing in the world and the moons glow or the Suns rays are dull in comparison. You deserve to be appreciated, you deserve to be wanted, you deserve to be loved. You deserve someone who will choose you each and every day and never stop choosing you. I hope you find someone who never stops choosing you.
Yours truly

I hope my perfume still lingers on your sheets and that it haunts you every time you sleep with her.
I hope you’ll find my lipstick stain on a forgotten cup on your bedside table and that, no matter how many times you’ll try to wash it, it will never go away.
I hope you’ll come across my scarf behind a cushion on your couch and that you’ll be struck by the memories of us sitting there watching TV.
I hope you’ll read my birthday card again and that it will remind you of how I was always so caring despite the way you treated me.
I hope someone will take you to that place where we once had breakfast together and that you won’t be able to swallow anything because you’ll see my ghost staring at you from the seat opposite.
I hope you’ll hear that song we used to sing along to on the radio and that your jaw will tighten while you change the station.
I hope you think about the way I kissed you, the way I held your hand when you were cold, the way I cared about you, and that you choke on all the apologies you never offered to me.
—  And I hope it hurts like hell

Last year, we were surrounded by your family. Your little cousins played on the floor in front of us, and we watched them with warm smiles. You whispered in my ear.

‘I can’t wait until I can tell you I love you,’ you told me. ‘I know how you are with that word. And I can’t wait until I can say it and you’ll say it back.’

I smiled and told you I loved you too. I had for a while.

This year, I sit on my balcony and smoke a cigarette. So much has changed, so many things have happened. I wonder if you’re there, watching your cousins laugh and joke about.

I wonder if you still love me, because by God I’m still in love with you.

—  R.G. // a letter to the boy who told me he loved me on christmas eve (via indielove-writings)
I want so badly for you to love me, but you are blindly chasing a girl that will never understand or share your love for Tenacious D. She will not enjoy listening to the new Weezer album on repeat with you or drive 8 hours one way to see Panic! At The Disco in the pouring rain, covered in blood and beer and mud and smelling of the weed the guys behind you kept offering. But, God, I dream of doing all those things with you because I’ve never met someone with so much passion in their veins. I’m in love with you.
—  a to d
I like the word love a lot. Not the way it sounds or the way it looks, but what it represents. I don’t think that love is a truly attainable thing. It’s something we all strive for in relationships. Something we all look for when we’re single. The idea of love gives us hope. Hope that one day we’ll be happy and hope that maybe one day we’ll be able to make someone else happy.
—  No One Significant, December 2, 2015
I still think about you sometimes,
like when I am at CVS getting pain killers for my mom
and see your favorite candy while waiting in
the check out line.
I still miss you sometimes,
like when I hear your favorite song playing
in the department store my friend dragged me to
so that she could find a dress for a date.
I still write to you sometimes,
because even though you’ll never talk to me
the same way
I still like to think you would listen the same way.
But it’s not in the moments of CVS lines
or department store trips
or late night letter writing
where I hurt the most.
It’s in the passing moments that
feel like knives in my back.
It’s in moments where I think for a second
about how you are
and what you might be doing
that hurt,
because I know I shouldn’t wonder about you like that anymore.
—  You aren’t the same and neither am I (11/27/2015)
SHINee as '90s aesthetics
  • Onew: windows 95 computer with a dial-up connection to the internet. Cute smiles and rides to the local amusement park with your squad,varsity jackets and baseball caps,
  • Jonghyun: that broody boy with the motorcycle and leather jacket,always good with words.spiked hair,plays the electric guitar,nike backpacks,late night walks to the local store,eating ramyun,singing along to the backstreet boys
  • Key: oversized sweaters,wearing lots of chains and lockets. Frosty lips,cold hands,talking to your friend at midnight using the landline.the ferris wheel rides at the beach,orange pickup truck,the smiths playing in the background while you try to sleep
  • Minho: tousled hair,early morning coffee,denim jackets and lenon glasses.playing the acoustic guitar,bonfire camping,late night talks,writing letters to them, making mixtapes and reeling back your fav song on cassettes,sunsets and bicycle rides,goodnight kisses
  • Taemin: silky long hair,innocent smiles,dorky guy everyone loves,high waisted pants,black converse,Turtleneck sweaters, pizza party and Pjs,Sony walkman and headphones,cool summer breeze.
You know that moment in the movies when the main character has this huge epiphany? It’s usually after messing up the opportunity of a lifetime where they realize, ‘Damn, all my pain could be used for something good, it has purpose.’ I’m not sure why we wait until we are about to lose something to have these moments. But do you believe we are all the main characters of our own stories learning to save ourselves? And more importantly do you think we can have more than one epiphany in our lifetime? Because I swear my story is a long series, with the most beautiful message, but every other chapter has an epiphany. Some huge important moment where I find both the need and the room to grow. I’m constantly changing to be the best person I can be. It has to be so, because I had one tonight as my heart sank so deep into the cavity it resides in as the news of my day got worse and worse. I let fear cripple me and start to win. My biggest fear is to let someone in, regardless of the relationship type. Friend or lover. You see I’ve got a heart so guarded it makes Guantanamo Bay look like a minimum security prison. As usual I’m probably just a thought too late, but I finally accepted that I want to take the risk of handing you the key.
—  2:25 am Some road in Indiana

One day, everything will make sense.

One day, I will understand how we can refer ‘us’ in the past tense.

And in that moment, I will finally see
why we could never be.

—  EL | And they say, everything happens for a reason. 
I am a writer
I am eloquent and articulate
There are words that could describe you
Phrases and analogies made just for you
But I cannot put you on paper
You are too wild to contain in a page
You’d break through anything as solid as a definition
You’re too complex to belong to just one language
Too fascinating to be something already known
With all that being said
Yes there are ways to describe you
But I won’t.
—  26 letters by c.r.