lasties

how to survive sunday nights

I know Sunday nights can be a trying time. Here are some songs I use to get through them.

Guns For Hands - Twenty One Pilots

It’s Okay - Lophee

Don’t Think About Tomorrow - Lophee

Saturn - Sleeping At Last

I Lived - One Republic 

Trees - Twenty One Pilots

Wake Me Up - Avicii

Hard Times - Paramore 

Truce - Twenty One Pilots

This is Home - Switchfoot

Anathema - Twenty One Pilots

Some videos I use to make it through:

Taking On Anxiety feat. Lilly Singh

Tyler Joseph singing songs off of the older albums + a story

You’re Beautiful - Tyler Joseph cover

Cute D and P video

There’s a Point - Tyler Joseph speech

Truce at the Basement release show 

Tyler n Josh at a beach in michigan

Dodie cutting her hair short

words by tyler


Things to Remember on a Sunday Night:

  • This Horrible Thing that you are thinking about won’t be so horrible in the morning.
  • You are loved and vital and appreciated.
  • Don’t listen to the nasty lies your mind makes up about your body and soul. You are beautiful.
  • It’s okay to be sad. The sadness is not permanent. 

There are other people going through the same thing. You are not alone.

Stay alive I-/

Avengers Chatroom: The Other Quicksilver

Requested by the amazing @m-maximoffs

Pairings: Some Peter Maximoff x f!reader

Scenario: The Avengers watched X-Men Apocalypse. Reader really likes Peter Maximoff much to everyone’s dismay (*cough* Pietro *cough*)


Clint has created a chatroom.

Clint has invited Steve, Pietro, Tony, Wanda, Nat, Y/N.

Clint: So, did everyone enjoy the movie?

Tony: It was okay.

Steve: I enjoyed it.

Pietro: It was terrible.

Y/N: HE WAS GREAT!

Y/N: I MEAN IT WAS GREAT!

Wanda: He?

Nat: No! Why did you ask her!?

Y/N: PETER. PETER MAXIMOFF. MY HUSBAND.

Pietro: PETER. PETER MAXIMOFF. MY KNOCKOFF!

Y/N: YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!

Steve: Can you two behave?!

Pietro: NO.

Y/N: MAKE HIM APOLOGIZE!

Wanda: Pietro it was just a movie. Calm down.

Clint: I think Peter is better. Can we recruit him instead?

Y/N: Yes omg yes a million times.

Steve: No, we are not recruiting him!

Pietro: I am right here, you know?!

Y/N: He has the cutest smile!

Y/N: and his hair is so

Y/N: i cant

Nat: She’s broken.

Y/N: He’s just so adorable!

Pietro: HE IS NOT ADORABLE! THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE QUICKLSILVER AND THAT IS ME!

Clint: He saved everyone from an explosion.

Pietro: Your point?

Clint: And you…

Pietro: Don’t finish that sentence.

Wanda: Pietro you know nobody can ever replace you.

Y/N: Okay but do any of you know if Peter has a girlfriend…?

Y/N: It’s for science.

Steve: I am surrounded by children.

Tony: That happens when you’re ancient.

Peter has joined the chat.

Peter: Has anyone seen my father?

Y/N: You live with your aunt…

Peter: No I live with my mum.

Clint: Nat, use your arachnid speak and find out what’s wrong with him.

Nat: Really, Clint?

Peter: You can speak to spiders? I’ve never come across a mutant like you before.

Nat: What?

Y/N:

Y/N: Peter?!

Peter: Yeeeees?

Y/N: MAXIMOFF?!

Peter: I believe so.

Wanda: Where is that screaming coming from?!

Nat: It’s Y/N. She’s “Fangirling.”

Pietro: IT’S YOU!

Peter: IT’S ME! Haha what game is this?

Steve: Wait so you’re not Parker?

Peter: No, unless my birth certificate is wrong.

Tony: PIETRO GIVE ME BACK MY DORITOS!

Pietro: I DIDN’T TAKE IT!

Peter: Oh you were eating that?

Y/N: Hey. Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N. I can help you look for your dad.

Peter: My future wife is going to help me find her father-in-law. What a tale for the kids!

Wanda: Why did he have to say that?!

Tony: @god what did I ever do to you?

Y/N: YES, HUSBAND, LET’S GO!

Peter: I like her!  <3

Steve: Y/N stay where you are! You can’t just go off with him!

Y/N: Please Steve!

Pietro: Should we not be capturing him or something!?

Peter: Catch me if you can!

Wanda: Pietro stop chasing him!

Magneto has joined the chat.

Peter: Hey dad!

Magneto has left the chat.

Peter: Maybe that was not the best time to tell him.

Tony: Who’s the freak outside?

Tony: WHY IS HE STEALING MY SUITS?

Tony: HE IS CRUSHING THEM!

Tony has left the chat.

Steve has left the chat.

Wanda: I am so confused!

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: Listen up kiddos. This is what happens when you try to bring two different movie studios together. Shit gets really confusing. Don’t do ice-cream now.

Y/N: You mean drugs?

Wade: I mean ice-cream. Brain freeze is a bitch!

Wade has left the chat.

Y/N: I was in my room and now I’m outside?! What the hell?

Peter: Picnic?

Y/N: YESSSSS OMG AT LAST

Y/N: I mean

Y/N: Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Y/N has left the chat.

Peter has left the chat.

Wanda: Pietro don’t do it.

Pietro has left the chat.

Wanda: Oh my god.

Wanda has left the chat.

Clint: Nat your hair is different.

Nat: No it’s not.

Clint: I can see you right now.

Nat: I’m with Sam and Bucky in the training room. I don’t see you.

Clint: But

Clint: Then who is?

Clint has left the chat.

Nat has left the chat.

Thor has joined the chat.

Thor: My friends. When did we get a hound? He is blue. Is this common for this breed?

Thor: It is quite large.

Thor: Like a man…

Thor: THAT IS NO DOG!

Thor has left the chat.

I just– this was the scene that pushed me over the edge because it was just too much

Me wanting to watch these two is what brought me to this show and what brought me to Captain Swan and what brought me to my friends and my stories and art and all of it

Their love has been the centre of this story always

their belief and their trust and their hope

And from their first True Loves’ Kiss

to their, what I just realised might be their last

I have loved them so very much

And I’m so so glad I decided to watch their story and their daughter’s and god I’m just so emotional, I keep crying

anonymous asked:

Wait I'm sorry for being misinformed, but the info about Paul calling Yoko a jap tart is not true? From what i read he sent a letter to john (i think) saying this. So it's not true? (because thank god if it's not true)

it’s okay, anon. let me reiterate: 

the full message – if you believe francie, that is – was “you and your jap tart think you’re hot shit” and the full quote reads:

“John obviously loved Paul enough to let him run wild if it would help ease the tension Paul was creating in the studio and at home. Yoko could see it too.

But Paul was treating them like shit too. He even sent them a hate letter once, unsigned, typed. I brought it in with the morning mail. Paul put most of his fan mail in a big basket and let it sit for weeks, but John and Yoko opened every piece. When they go to the anonymous note, they looked puzzled, looking at each other with genuine pain in their eyes.

‘You and your Jap tart think you’re hot shit’, it said. John put it on the mantle, and in the afternoon, Paul hopped in, prancing much the same self-conscious way he did when we met.

‘Oh I just did that for a lark…’ he said in his most sugar-coated accent.

It was embarrassing. The three of us swiveled around, staring at him. You could see the pain in John. Yoko simply rose above it, feeling only sympathy for John. I was sad to see the Lennons go, even though it took the pressure off of Paul.”

putting aside that you can already read the clear bias between the lines, sometimes in other retellings of the story, it’s said to be a postcard and other times it’s a typewritten message left in an envelope. the discrepancies here alone should tell you something. 

now, where does the claim come from? it comes from an ex-girlfriend of paul’s from the late 60s, who he has parted not on the best terms with: francie schwartz. francie wrote a book about her relationship with paul where francie claims that while john and yoko stayed at cavendish, they received a note saying “you and your jap tart think you’re hot shit”.

why is it bullshit? i have several points to make:

francie schwartz is one of the most unreliable sources in beatles history. ask any beatles researcher worth their salt on their opinion about francie and her book. what’s more important in this particular case: she relies almost exclusively on sensational claims to make her book body count (1972) more palatable and exciting to a general and broad public instead of actual proof. other such claims include paul having been sent love letters from brian; a claim just as insubstantial and without any actual tangible proof. 

first off, to get a more personal picture of francie during the time she wrote and published her book you have to ackowledge her agenda as the scorned ex-lover as is evidenced by the book itself as it displays a great deal of vindictiveness towards paul. read body count and you’ll know what  i mean. it’s absolutely vile in places.

second, the book was published in 1972 – when paul’s critical reputation was possibly at one of its lowest points – and it was published by none other than jann wenner’s rolling stone press, which very obviously chose john’s side in the john versus paul breakup era split and which back in the day had a lot of sway in the music industry. the magazine wasn’t yet the joke it was to become. something else that is interesting and slightly related: jann wenner. paul’s critical acclaim wasn’t at it lowest point because mccartney (the album) was years ahead in its day and the press just didn’t get it, but because wenner directly influenced his reviewers to slam paul for – as wenner saw it – breaking up the beatles. here’s the relevant quote:

“When I became record reviews editor, I made it clear to him after a few months — nobody had done the job before me — that the record review section was an independent republic within the country of Rolling Stone. That meant that nobody else could tell me what to review or what a writer could say. They could argue with me, but ultimately it was my decision. And that worked well. There was one incident where Paul McCartney makes his first solo record and people thought it was wonderful: this rough, homemade one-man-band album. It was accompanied by a press release, a self-interview, about why he no longer needed the Beatles and how little he thought of them … this real obnoxious statement, you know? I assigned it to a friend of mine, Langdon Winner, and Jann saw the piece and said: “We can’t run it this way — he’s just reviewing it as if it’s this nice little record. It’s not just a nice little record, it’s a statement and it’s taking place in a context that we know: it’s one person breaking up the band. This is what needs to be talked about.” I said I didn’t agree and “in any case it’s up to Langdon to say what he wants to say.” Jann said, “We have to talk about this.” So we went to dinner that night and spent three fucking hours arguing about this record review. Finally he convinced me. So I went over to Langdon’s and sat down with him and spent three more hours arguing with him until I convinced him! Now to me this was the essence of great editing, of how you put out a publication that is utterly honest. All that time spent over one 750 word review! And it was worth it.”

—Greil Marcus in conversation with Simon Reynolds,

Los Angeles Review of Books

there are other instances where wenner displays his clear bias against paul, which was especially rampant in the time where paul was hailed as the talentless and flighty hack who did nothing more than book the studio for the beatles and john as the deeply misunderstood true lyrical and musical genius behind the beatles. a narrative that was formed then and persists to this day.

third, a number of writers – including, disappointingly, doggett and carlin – have recounted the “jap tart” episode from paul to john and yoko as fact, but it’s NOT. it’s the unverified retrospective eyewitness testimony years after it happened of a very much biased, secondhand source. we’ve never seen evidence from anyone else that this event occurred. no picture, no copy, nothing. just like any other event francie “remembers”, if i might add. and since other private notes and copies from letters and even journals exist from other and more deeply involved with the beatles people, it is suspicious.

even during “lennon remembers” – also done with involvement from wenner – john himself admits that his examples of the others treating yoko badly in the studio or elsewhere come off as him being paranoid. if he had indeed a clear and very much damning example, such as this “jap tart” postcard or typewritten message or handwritten note, why didn’t he bring it up? or, more glaringly, yoko herself? when discussing why she and john left cavendish in philip norman’s paul bio, she doesn’t mention this incident at all. why didn’t either of them ever bring up this incident in all the years after it supposedly occurred? 

it’s also important to point out that the narrative that paul was an absolute and continuous horror to john and yoko during the let it be era is just that: a narrative. let’s see what yoko has to say:

“After the initial embarrassment, then – um, now Paul is being very nice to me. He’s nice, and a – a very, um, str– on the level, straight sense. Like, um, whenever there’s something happening at Apple, he explains to me, as if I should know, [inaudible] and things like that. And also whenever there’s something like they need a light man or something like that, he asks me if I know of anybody in the art world, and things like that.

And like, um, I can see that he’s just now suddenly changing his attitude, like he’s being – he’s treating me with respect. Not because it’s me – but because I belong to John. I hope that’s what it is, because that would be nice. And I feel like he’s my younger brother or something like that. I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul.

And, um – and probably among those three people of George and Ringo and Paul, Paul is the only one that I can sort of feel the vibration [from]. Like, sort of sense it, you know, that something is among that. ‘Cause Ringo and George, I just can’t communicate. I mean, I’m sure that George and – I’m really sure that they’re both very nice people, but that’s not the point… I think that’s because being, uh, [because of John, Paul, and me] being air signs, like Libra, Gemini, and Aquarius.”

[x]

another point is the nature of the source itself: francie didn’t – at least as far as we know – write any of these instances down, be it in her diary, or even in a letter to her mother, with whom she stayed in contact during that time. all of which would have made the claim more credible, as those would have been never intended for public view and subsequent consumption as her book was. 

she wrote them in her memoir, something she wanted people to buy, and there has been discussion that wenner encouraged her to promote the “sex and dissension” between paul and her and paul and the beatles in her work, because that’s what would sell and ensure publicity. 

lasty, i’ve seen another valid point brought up: linguistics. “hot shit” is something that is more an americanism – francie is american – than something used in the late 60s by someone of liverpool descent.

tl;dr: francie’s claim is unfounded and to this very day has zero (0) proof to it. 

i’ll include another good quote about the issue under a read more should you be interested.

Keep reading

Trump: 

  • Is a fascist
  • Is incapable of getting through a full sentence
  • Is obsessed with projecting a “tough guy” image
  • Policies that are an incoherent grab bag of far-right memes
  • Opinion varies as a function of whatever trashy propaganda program he watched last
  • Is a hardcore racist

Corbyn:

  • Is a socialist
  • Always sounds thoughtful and well-reasoned in his public statements
  • Literally could not give less of a shit about his image
  • Fully costed left-wing platform
  • Opinions formulated based on principles
  • Was literally jailed for opposing Apartheid

Centrist Media: “Clearly these two are just opposite sides of the same coin”

BOM BIDI BOM - NICK JONAS & NICKI MINAJ (LYRICS)

[Verse 1: Nick Jonas]
I was wrong and you were right
If I was yours and you were mine
But it was all good (yeah)
You were gone and I was back
And I was good and you were bad
But it was all good

[Pre-Chorus: Nick Jonas]
‘Cause I’m an addict, I’m your patient
Your lips are the medication
Come here baby, yeah, you know just what I want
You got that

[Chorus: Nick Jonas]
Bom bidi bom bom bom bom bom
Bom bidi bom bom
You give me bad bad love
But I love it baby
Love me all night long
If you want baby, like
Bom bidi bom bom bom bom bom
Bom bidi bom bom bom
'Cause you’re a bad bad girl
But I love it baby
Love me all night long
If you want baby, yeah
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom


[Verse: 2 Nick Jonas]
You played it front, I played it back
You be the first, I be the last
I call it good love
Every kiss and every touch
It’s like a hit ain’t enough
I call it good love

[Pre-Chorus: Nick Jonas]
'Cause I’m an addict, I’m your patient
Your lips are the medication
Come here baby, yeah, you know just what I want
You got that

[Chorus: Nick Jonas]
Bom bidi bom bom bom bom bom
Bom bidi bom bom
You give me bad bad love
But I love it baby
Love me all night long
If you want baby, like
Bom bidi bom bom bom bom bom
Bom bidi bom bom bom
'Cause you’re a bad bad girl
But I love it baby
Love me all night long
If you want baby, yeah
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom


[Verse 3: Nicki Minaj]
Yo, b-b-b-b-bye, b-b-b-b-bye
He said, if he can’t hit my bullseye, he’d rather die
He put it on me better than any other guy
He said, he need a bad bitch with an alibi
Yo, give me the muny, the yen and the pesos
Sext me on the beach in Turks and Caicos
I give him that work, that twerk, that slay hoes
Sippin’ Grey Goose, and pushin’ that grey ghost
Uh, assume the position when you see a bad one
The D so good, he just got a And 1
I’m about to blow, and I ain’t talking Samsung
I’m about to show him what I do with that tongue

[Chorus: Nick Jonas]
Bom bidi bom bom bom bom bom
Bom bidi bom bom
You give me bad bad love
But I love it baby
Love me all night long
If you want baby, like
Bom bidi bom bom bom bom bom
Bom bidi bom bom bom
'Cause you’re a bad bad girl
But I love it baby
Love me all night long
If you want baby, yeah
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom
Bom bodi bom bode bode bom bom


[Outro: Nicki Minaj]
B-b-b-b-bye, b-b-b-b-bye
He tryna bless me like his rabbi-bi
B-b-b-b-bye 

The Devil’s Gonna Set Me Free

Title: The Devil’s Gonna Set Me Free

Song: Broken Bones by Kaleo

Word Count: 795

Warning: Torture and pain

Summary: You’re in Hell. You’re being tortured by the Devil himself. You can stop it all. Will you?

A/N: PLEASE read this while listening to the song or listen to the song first because it helps set the vibe a lot. Hope you guys like the dark twisted side of my brain. Enjoy!


 

The devil’s gonna make me a free man

The devil’s gonna set me free

Oh, the devil’s gonna make me a free man

The devil’s gonna set me free

“Move,” the demon yells as he drags you from your cell. Chains rattle as he literally drags you by your arms to the source of your hell.

The room smells of blood, sweat, and pain. He cleans his blade, organizing his tools carefully.

“Y/N, back so soon? You missed me didn’t you?”

“Fuck you.” The demon hoists you up, the rods under your arms that support you dig into your fragile and worn skin.

“Looks like I’m going to have to take care of that mouth again.” Your face barely rises before the familiar fist collides with your fragile jaw. You feel it shatter for the third time under his strength. Grabbing your hair, he pulls your head up and back.

“You know how to stop this Y/N. Only you can stop it.”

Keep reading

“Never know when you might need one of these.”

Like maybe when you’re anticipating an invasion from Homeworld any day now? A giant battle axe might just come in handy then.

So I have several thoughts, concerning the above:

First, that is a big fucking axe. What kind of gem would wield that? A fusion maybe? 

Two, Garnet stronk. 

Three, is the purple gem bit on the top for decoration, or is this axe somehow gem-powered? 

And lasty (I think), we know that when our gem’s use their weapons - Amethyst’s whip, Garnet’s guantlets, Pearl’s spear, Steven’s shield - that when they’re no longer using them, the weapons disappear. They, like the gem’s bodies, are hard light constructs I think. But - and I can’t believe I haven’t noticed this before now - Rose’s sword is still around, but Rose’s isn’t. All of these weapons in the battlefield are still here, but their owners are long gone. So these weapons must be manufactured and not summoned. I wonder, though, what use that would be? Why would you want to use a “man-made” weapon over one you can summon? Maybe all gems can’t summon weapons? Maybe humans fought alongside gems in the war? Maybe there’s some other advantage physical weapons have over ones made of hard light? 

Week One aka Bad Boys, Doll Boys, WhaBoom Boys, Oh My

Dear friends,

Just as the sun rises each day, so a new season of The Bachelorette begins this week. Try as we might to avoid it, try as the world might to progress past the point wherein this show could possibly still find cultural relevance, The Bachelor franchise somehow pulls us back time and again. Some of you have been on this journey since the beginning; others are newcomers, curious to explore. And yet all of us must ask the same question: why?

Why does this show have such lasting power? Why, in the age of Tinder dating and declining marriage rates, does it still click for us? Is it that at our core we still believe in the idea of grand romance, and this contrived televised mating spectacle somehow counts? Is it because it appeals to our more primordial sensibilities, the same kind of entertainment as the gladiators fighting to the death for the pride of Rome, Sir Jorah fighting for Khaleesi in the Pits of Meereen, or the two iguanas I saw on spring break battling for the resort’s one lady iguana? Do we get the same sick satisfaction watching thirty dudebros in bowties fight to the elimination for the heart of some hot stranger on TV?

Come seek the answers with me, friends. Let’s dive in.

Here’s What Happened Monday

  • RACHEL LINDSAY IS BACK Y’ALL! She’s a smart lawyer from Dallas with a good blowout who knows how to play b-ball by herself and say lawyer things like “Objection, your honor, speculation!”  She was dumped last season by a turtleneck-wearing dingdong I refuse to name, but now she’s back in the spotlight and ready to find The One.
  • As we all know, no one can find The One without the advice of The Many. Two white-haired grannies approach Rachel in the park and urge her not to “sleep with all’a them!” while her former-Bachelor-competitors-turned-Swiftian-lady-squad earnestly and innocently encourage her to “let someone go hard for her” – both wise and caring sentiments, shared by the elderly and the most recent losers of the show.
  • But alas, advice aside, Rachel is only here for one reason: FAME. Well, and the dudes. Probably mostly the dudes.

Let’s Meet Some Of These Nincompoops

  • Kenny is equal parts loving father and Nacho Libre. Fall as we might for his sweet smile and easy-going charm, we see him in a speedo in the first five minutes of the season and that cannot be unseen.
  • Alex is a meathead who tries to convince us he is not a meathead by lifting the heavy books he can’t read. In his free time he appears to enjoy spearing kabobs with his mother and smiling at Rubix cubes. He tries to impress Rachel by introducing her to his vacuum, and that isn’t even an innuendo.
  • Josiah is a lawyer with a bad boy sob story past and too many wide-neck sweaters. He refers to Rachel (a stranger) as “his wife” and to himself as Josiah. Those who speak in the third person are, as we all know, inherently trustworthy people.
  • Jack Stone, this season’s resident firsty-lasty, is a fellow Dallas lawyer who does not blink a single time in this episode.
  • Lucas is basically a rabid Colin Hanks, who – like Ryan Lochte, Charlie Sheen, and all our other favorite douchebags – has coined his own signature phrase. You know that kid in grade school who spent ninety percent of his day out of his seat giving the teacher reasons to stay in therapy? Whaboom!
  • Blake E. is somehow a worse version of Robbie from Jojo’s season. He loves the drums and his own… drumstick. He hates Lucas.
  • Blake K. believes in love because his grandparents didn’t do The Bachelor but still got married.

Take A Break. Stretch. Lot of Nincompoops To Get Through.

  • Bryce is a firefighter who isn’t shirtless even once this episode, which completely defeats the purpose of him being a firefighter.
  • Dean masterfully flexes his woman-wooing muscles by arriving in a floral tie, repeating his not-at-all-cringey “once you go black you never go back” line, then inviting her to play in a sandbox.
  • Eric seems like a nice young man but to be honest I’m pretty sure he’s dead. The way he sulks around in his quiet, unsettling way and wears the oversized suit he was buried in… I don’t know. I’m just pretty sure he’s dead.
  • DeMario seems sweet around Rachel but we know he’s the bad-intentioned boy Whitney warned her about! I’m bored.
  • Adam, handsome dude, brings with him a downright nightmare-inducing child-size doll of himself named Adam Jr. The only redeeming aspect of AJ’s presence is one of the other contestant’s description of the doll’s “fresh dress and dope fade.”
  • Matt shows up wearing a penguin suit and I can only hope that Rachel does the right thing and texts Alexis to grant her dibs.
  • Not unlike the connection between the French president and his high-school-teacher-turned-wife, Fred was one of the bad kids at camp when Rachel was his counselor. The fact that she can’t get over how bad he was even though he’s fine as hell now says something about how truly terrorizing he must have been.
  • Last but not least, Bryan is the sultry chiropractor who proves the age-old fact that the hottest way to seduce a woman is to talk at her in a language she can’t understand. Later, he sticks his tongue in Rachel’s mouth without warning (apparently missing the memo that consent is super in right now) and somehow that earns him the First Impression Rose. Romance!

Miscellaneous

  • Get u a man who looks at you like Chris Harrison looks at the newest Bachelor/Bachelorette getting out of a limo
  • I screamed seeing Alexis at the beginning of the episode, followed quickly by “who the f*ck is Whitney?”
  • At one point I envisioned Chris Harrison with a mustache and it was devastating
  • Until I learn all their names, I’m going to have a lot of notes like: “Rachel puts on fur, talks to a bald man”
  • I’m fairly confident every dude whose name I didn’t know was actually named Blake. I counted six Blakes.
  • I can’t wait for next week
last poem number fifty nine

i mourn after paper

& tell myself this will be
my last tale of indulgence

i mourn for the word
that i let slip from 
between my legs
& watched swim 
in the hardwood
that keeps my body 
from falling at last

i mourn with flesh;
it is the same tongue
that beat my throat
‘til the cries for mercy
were lost in the midst
of the savage moans

i write the last lines
as an assurance that
i am done with mourning;
i think that,
for a moment,
i truly believe it

and i greeted him and asked him
into the house,
and lit the lamp, 
and looked into his blank eyes
in which at last
i saw what a child must love, 
i saw what love might have done
had we loved in time

from visitor, mary oliver