last year when i packed up to move out

Goodbye Internet.

Summary- In which Dan ruined what him and Phil had and made his last video. 

Genre- Angst?

Word Count - 1.7k 


The flat the two shared used to be full of life and happiness, now it was only full of sadness and regret. Dan had messed up big time, him and Phil fought. Now Phil was gone and Dan couldn’t forget him. He was everywhere he looked. Dan couldn’t bear though to get rid of the things they had together. He couldn’t even be bothered to pick up the engagement ring Phil threw back to him just before he left. “Fuck you Dan. I trusted you with my life and agreed to marry you and you went sleeping around?” Phil scoffed, twisting the ring off his finger. His face was tight, the veins in his neck popping out as his eyes watered. “Here”. He threw the ring at Dan, hitting his chest. Dan watched it fall to his feet along with his heart. “I changed my mind. I’ll get my stuff over the week.” He turned and walked out, slamming the door, leaving Dan standing there with tears falling from his eyes, landing around the ring on the floor. 

About a month ago it hit Dan, he was getting married. He wanted to marry Phil, god he did. He was scared and did what he usually did. Dan ran. He ran from his fear, ran from everything and into the arms of another person. A few actually. Thinking back now, Dan realized they all had one thing in common, they were just like Phil. Every woman he went home with was a huge kid on the inside with the sweetest smile. If Dan went home with a guy he noticed things about them to, they all were nerdy and had the sweetest personalities.

Staring at the ceiling as his fairy lights shone above him, illuminating the room with a melancholy mist. Dan hadn’t done much of anything since Phil left. He hadn’t gotten out of bed unless he needed to use the bathroom or wanted a drink or snack. Even then he just started hoarding bags of maltesers and water bottles in his room so he wouldn’t have to leave as much. Unlike the rest of the house, Dan’s room was black and white basically. The less color he had the better. To Dan, Phil was like a bunch of colors that shone brightly making everyone happy. Except Dan, the colors only made him sad now.

Tears slipped from his eyes and slid down the sides of his face. He didn’t want to continue YouTube alone, he didn’t want to abandon the gaming channel, let alone his own but he couldn’t do it. He met Phil through YouTube, and it ended on YouTube.

Sighing, Dan found the strength to climb out of bed. His head throbbed in pain as he walked to the bathroom, his head dropping once he saw his appearance. His hair was greasy and curled, bags and dark circles were under his eyes. His shoulders drooped and his clothes hung off his body. He was wearing grey sweatpants that were big on him alone and a jumper that was way too big for him.

Tears fell from his eyes again as a sob crashed through his body. Dan leaned against the wall and slid down, fully sobbing now. “I-I’m so sorry P-Phil.” He gasped through every cry to himself. He doubted he’d ever get to tell him how sorry he was. Phil was right in Dan’s mind to leave. He didn’t deserve Phil, he never did and he proved that.

Dan couldn’t do this. He wasn’t happy. YouTube doesn’t make him happy anymore. It’s been a week, almost two now since he even logged on. He sat there on the bathroom floor for hours thinking it over.

Music blasted in his headphones, and he stared at the tiled wall. Was he doing this? “I guess I am,” he mumbled, the life drained from him. He pulled himself up and trudged back to his room, setting the camera up in front of his bed. Turning the camera on he sat there for five minutes before saying anything.

“Hello internet,” he waved his hand. His voice wasn’t happy like it usually was when he did his intros, then again he wasn’t happy anymore. “I look like a literal rat right now, and I deserve to.”

Dan sighed and hung his head trying to think of how he wanted to explain everything. The fans never knew that him and Phil were together, so how was to explain what happened without outing them. Hopefully Phil wouldn’t hate his anymore than he already did..

“As you guys probably have noticed, Phil and I are no longer gonna be living together.” Dan bite his lip and looked down. “A-And it’s all my fault.” He looked into the viewfinder for a brief moment to see how he was doing.

“Phil and I were a couple. I asked him to be my boyfriend back in 2011 and he said yes.” Dan smiled but that smile was nothing but sadness anymore. “We went through tough times like any other couple, as you all know we grew apart in 2012, but we came back around.”

Dan could feel tears forming back in his eyes but he refused to let them fall again. “After being together for over 5 years, I decided I would ask him to marry me. I wanted to make it perfect, because that’s what Phil deserves. I planned a trip back to where it all started. You were so clueless. My heart was soaring, beating out of my chest. I was gonna ask you to marry me and I was terrified you would say no. Looking back? You should have, but for some reason you chose to say yes.”

Laughing a bit Dan remember how nervous he had been that day. “I took you to the train station where we met for the first time. I was nervous to get off the train that day. I was worried you would hate the me you would see in person.”

A single tear rolled down his cheek, “W-we planned to get married in May. We planned on recording bits of it, and uploading a vlog as a surprise to you guys.” Dan chuckled, “Some of you, many of you actually would have been expecting it.”

Dan closed his eyes and let the tears roll freely now. He brought his hand up and covered his mouth, letting sobs escape his body. His eyes were more than likely bloodshot as he looked back into the camera. “Then I fucked up big time.” Came from his lips in a whisper.

“Loyalty is something everyone deserves. T-trust to, and I broke both of those things. P-phil… If you by some chance watch this, not that you would want to see me again in any form, but I-I’m so sorry. You should never forgive m-me. I was scared. I s-still am now that I’m alone again because I-I’m so used to having you here. It’s not the same. There’s no dork to greet me when I finally crawl out of bed, no one to help when I fall into an existential crisis. I fucking took you for granted, and I will never f-forgive myself for that.”

Dan fell back onto his bed and let the sobs come, the tears pour. A good 15 minutes later once he composed himself, he sat back up and looked into the camera. “I che-cheated on P-Phil Lester. I fucking hate myself f-for it.” He wiped his eyes before looking back into the camera.

“It hit me that I was getting married and I started to panic. I started thinking about how Phil, how you could c-change your mi-mind any moment and it scared me. So, like any other time I was scared, I ran. Instead of running to you, I ran from you. Into the arms of others.”

“I want you guys to do me a favor. I want you all to, if you love somebody, make sure you tell them. If you get scared f-fucking tell them! Don’t do what I did. Don’t be stupid and cost yourself the one person you can’t live without. This? This hurts like fucking hell and it sucks. Phil, you mean everything to me an- and I’ll never get you back and I deserve that. I deserve to be lonely and to never hear from you again.”

Dan sighed, scared shitless to end this video. His face was tear stained, his sleeves were damp from crying and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. “The last few things I w-want to say to end this on… I-I’m moving. I don’t know where, but somewhere. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll stay in London, it all hurts too much. J-just like this… YouTube used to make me happy. Now it mocks me. I look and see most of the videos I created were with you Phil and I can’t do it. So, this is it. No more Danisnotonfire. No more live shows, no more updates. I’m going back to being Dan, and getting rid of my internet persona I’ve built over the years. Please, if you guys see me in public, please don’t come up to me. I don’t want this “fame”,” Dan put hand quotations around fame. He never considered himself a famous person. Just someone on the internet. “I loved meeting you guys, but when your other half is missing you just don’t want to continue.”

Dan sighed one last time and wiped his eyes before looking into the camera. “I’m Dan and this was Danisnotonfire. Goodbye internet.”

-

Dan had just finishing packing up the last box of things from his bedroom. He was moving back home, not too far from his parents’ house. Carrying the box out to the lounge, he looked around. What was once a happy place was now nothing but a bad memory. The ring he gave Phil lived in his wallet. The remains of his YouTube career were going with him. He had uploaded the video a week ago and wasn’t sure how everyone was reacting. He didn’t check the comments or look on any social media. He was too scared.

Dan’s phone went off in his hand and he looked at it.

YouTube: AmazingPhil has just uploaded a video: Phil’s Final Video Blog - 2nd March 2017


Part 2

Damn baby ~ Jack Maynard

Characters: Reader X Jack Maynard x Anna Maynard X Conor Maynard

Word Count: 1024

Summary: Your Anna’s friend and just turned eighteen. Jack whom you hadn’t seen for two years due to your move to the Caribbean, instantly falls for you. 

Requested: Yes, two requested combined

I’m sorry for not posting, school is a bore and my new job takes up most of the time. I hope you understand :( I had Its Been Years part four done but I have changed my mind on how to write seven times in two weeks, it WILL be up this weekened tho. I know I say i will post but seriously it will be up this weekend.

Also SHOUT OUT TO MY BABY FOR HITTINIG ONE MILLION 

P.s I aslo found I am 1% of 7 billion people to have differnet coloured eyes, pretty fucking awesome if you asked me.

Not my gif


Originally posted by hidden-in-a-dreams-gifs


“So you travel all the way to London, to and I quote ‘spend time with you’ but your leaving for a girly day with your friend?” Jack questioned his sister who was putting her shoes on. 

“Yes.” Anna huffed looking up at her two older brothers, “I haven’t seen her in two years and it was her birthday six months ago, I haven’t given her presents. She also moved her for uni last month and I haven’t had time to see her.”

“Do we know her?” Conor asked his eyes narrowed as Anna picked up her bag pack. 

“Yes.”

“When did you know someone three years older than you?” Jack asked his eyebrows raised.

“She lived across the street from us.”

“Gappy Gabby?” 

“Gappy who? Look, I’m late you I’ll be back in like four hours and I’ll bring her back to the apartment okay? Okay, Bye!” Anna shouted running out of Jack’s apartment.

Conor turns his head towards Jack who was staring dumfounded at the door, “We just got played by our little sister.”

“We taught her well, Jack. We taught her well.”


Jack and Conor were playing Fifa when the door opened and loud laughter filled their ears. “Looks like we are meeting the new friend.” Jack commented waiting for Anna and her friend to walk through the door.

“-babe trust me; the boys are an A plus…” You spoke following her into a room which you guess was the living room. You felt yourself smirk seeing the Maynard brother you had been crushing on since you were kid, have in had an amazing glow up. “…but there was no Jack Maynard on the island.”

Conor and Jack froze in their seats for two different reasons.

For Conor, the girl he counted as his other little had returned back from moving to Caribbean. She had changed a lot and it scared him because if that happened to you in two years, what could happen to his little sister.

For Jack, however, well. The boy thought he had fallen in love. You weren’t chubby, the braces had disappeared, your skin was flawless with a gorgeous brown tan, your body was the perfect hourglass figure and your eyes shined bright.

He wanted you.

He watched as you smirked that gorgeous smirk before speaking, “Well, I was gone for two years and I don’t even get a hug? Shameful.”

Conor was the first to react jumping out his seat laughing, “Y/N it’s been too long!”

“Tell me about it. I missed my Maynard fam.” You pouted hugging the older Maynard, you noticed Jack looking at you in a dazed and mouthed ‘You the most’ with a wink.

Pulling back from your hug with Conor, you opened your arms ready for a hug with Mr. Jack Maynard. He was already stood up so he silently made his way other to you and pulled you into a hug, being the boy he is. He looked down towards your ass and noticed had big it had gotten, groaning he spoke aloud, “Damn baby, you got hot.”

Anna gasped as you pulled away with a confident look, “Thanks papi.”

Anna gasped again in horror and Conor laughed at his brothers face, which looked like he wanted to take you right there. “Can you two stop. I really don’t want my best friend and brother flirting.”

“Sorry babe.” You grinned throwing your arm around her shoulders, “You brother has always been hot as fuck but talk about glow up. Damn papi, you take a hot shot or something?”

Jack looked you up or down smirking, “Me? Baby I think you did. Look at you, you’re fucking gorgeous. ” He moved with his hand to your body.

“I prefer mami but thanks I know I am.” You smirked.

Conor laughed loudly, “I love this new Y/N.”

“I prefer the old one.” Anna grumbled jokingly making the three of you laugh.


Four months later….

“Take me here, right now.” Y/N smirked as she walked in on Jack shirtless doing push ups. Used to Y/N randomly walking into his apartment Jack looked up at her with a smirk before carrying on with his push ups. “Awh, you’re no fun.”

Jack laughed to himself not bothering to look up and pay the girl some attention started doing sit ups but it all stopped when he felt a weight on him stopping him from carrying on. Feeling his skin come in contact with skin leaving him with a burning sensation, he opened his eyes to see the girl that had been teasing him for months on end.

“Now that was rude.” Jack smirked, hands sitting comfortable on your waist. “I was trying to work out.”

“Baby you don’t need to work out, your one sexy motherfucker.” You smiled placing your hands on his chest. 

“I prefer papi but thanks I know I am.” 

You laughed loudly knowing he used the words you had said a couple of months ago, Jack looked up at you lovingly hearing your laugh.

God he loved that laugh.

You quieted down staring back into his eyes, you leaned forward so your nose was touching his. “When are you going to ask me Jack?”

“When am I going to ask you? Well I had this big date planned but since your so impatient.” Jack huffed, rolling his eyes jokingly he smiled. “Will you, Y/F/N, do me the honour of being my girlfriend?”

You laughed softly nodding your head, “Who would say no to a papi like you Maynard?”

Jack laughed before grabbing your face in his hands and crashing his lips into yours. Smiling through the kiss, you couldn’t think about how happy you are moving back to London. Feeling you smile, Jack smiled too knowing he was truly happy with you.

However, your little make out session came crashing down when to voices where heard through the apartment.

“WHOO, that’s my bro.”

“No. No, no. Y/N! Why! Why damn it!”

Laughing you carried on kissing Jack but both of your stuck you middle fingers in the air, to piss them off. It was silent for a while and both you and Jack thought they had left but…

“Okay but really cut it the fuck out, we brought pizza.”


Mother-in-law shared her honest opinion of me. I hope she enjoys her relationship with her son and grandchildren.

I met my husband when we were 17. We got married several years later and just celebrated our 20th anniversary.  I know this man, I have seen how much he remembers things.

My relationship with his father was always tense. With his mother, it seemed we were close but about 7 years ago I realized she had never and would never consider me part of the family (this was at the point my husband and I had spent half our lives together, with a great future foreseen). I acknowledged the issue and tried to move ahead in a positive way to support my husband and allow my children to have access to their grandparents.  

Last Christmas there was a HUGE blow-up at the in-laws’ house. His father started in on me, then his sister and finally his mom. When my hubby walked out of the room to pack our things and go home early (a 2 hour drive), his mother took a moment to say some of the most horrible things about me I have ever heard. Things about my personality, my parenting skills, my friendships, even my mother and sisters.

I admit, I responded with one very unladylike sentence.

Since that day, I have not contacted her nor communicated with her. The revenge though has been sweet: the boy she raised, who married me and has become an amazing man, is now in charge of the relationship with his parents. This means he (not I) sets up visits, buys and sends birthday cards, calls them every week or two.

Or not.

Because you see, this wonderful man is extremely forgetful and doesn’t plan ahead well. ADHD can be difficult that way. Every few weeks for 9 months I have heard him say things like, “Oh shoot, last week was their anniversary,  wasn’t it? I forgot to send them a card.” Or, “Man, I haven’t called my mom in a couple of months. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. ”

I am not keeping him from anything. I would not have a problem with him taking our children for a visit - they have seen their paternal grandparents twice in 9 months (my parents live in the same town we do, so my kids have a good, strong relationship with their maternal grandparents). But I know him, I know me, and I know how our relationship has worked since we were 17.

I have received a few emails asking if we are coming for a visit. This week we again received a card in the mail “reaching out. ” They have called him a few times to try to set something up, but (as I could have told them) in our relationship, I am the one who finalizes most plans and whoops! Hands off for me!

TL;DR Hope my in-laws are enjoying their empty mailbox, unused guest room, and the phone that isn’t ringing. Their son is over 40, they need to deal with him directly. Oh, too bad, ADHD.

EDIT: Gold!? AND no more relationship with my in-laws? It’s like I’ve won twice! Thank you!

3

I’ve lived in this place and I know all the faces, each one is different but they’re always the same. They mean me no harm but it’s time that I face it, they’ll never allow me to change. But I never dreamed home would end up where I don’t belong. I’m movin’ on.

I’m movin’ on,
at last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me, and I know there’s no guarantees, but I’m not alone. There comes a time in everyone’s life, when all you can see are the years passing by, and I have made up my mind that those days are gone. 

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn’t, stopped to fill up on my way out of town. I’ve loved like I should but lived like I shouldn’t, I had to lose everything to find out. Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road. I’m moving on.

anonymous asked:

Do you know of any fics where Stiles is in an abusive relationship and Derek saves him? Sterek happy ending of course.

AND

Anonymous said:hi this is a very beautiful blog and thank you for your work i was wondering if there are fics where stiles is in a bad/abusive relationship and derek kind of steps in some sort of protective way (sorry for shitty english thank you again) :*

Ok. Here’s some sads. And a cute gif to counter that. - Anastasia

Originally posted by iglovequotes

How To Save A Stiles by Supernaturally_Sterek

(1/1 I 1,037 I Not Rated)

Stiles thought the abuse was his punishment. He was wrong.
Stiles thought that he had no one. He was wrong.
Stiles had never been wrong before the nogistune, but he was a Stilinski and everyone has a Stillinski’s back.  

Leftovers by foxtricks (wireddifferently)

(1/1 I 2,413 I Mature)

Derek thinks Stiles’ boyfriend is a douche.

When the Nightmares Start by Wolftraps (AlwaysBoth)

(1/1 I 4,188 I Mature)

“Don’t,” Derek snapped. “You haven’t lied to me since the second time we met, Stiles. Don’t start now. Not for him.”

Stiles sighed, stopped trying to smile, and as the facade fell, he seemed to shrink, to curl in on himself. And the smaller he got, the less Derek recognized him; like he was just a shade of the man who Derek had seen hold up, and back, werewolves with twice his muscle mass. It was unnerving. Wrong.

Let Me Protect You by OpalPenWriter

(1/1 I 4,689 I Mature)

Derek is trying to clean up after Kevin. He is trying his hardest to make sure that Stiles gets better and is in a loving environment. However, the more Derek tries, the worst and more awkward it seems to get. Like most things in his life, its takes a catalyst before things start going right for Derek. After all, he’s just trying to be a good mate and Alpha for Stiles.

Jurisdiction by elisera

(1/1 I 7,025 I Mature I Rape)

John is a pretty level-headed guy. He wasn’t always, back during his own Sturm und Drang period, but he married a firecracker of a woman and got a kid with an affinity for trouble like he got payed for ending up in it, so someone had to level out or they would’ve ended up living in a treehouse or Lapland doing god knows what. Anyway, getting a hold of his temper is one of John’s better life achievements. It makes him a good sheriff and it kept him from blowing his lid too badly those last two years when Stiles started acting out in a way that John had never seen before.

But the temper is still there.

He’s reminded of it when he comes home on a random Saturday in March after spilling his milkshake all over his uniform shirt only to notice he didn’t have a spare in the station and finds Stiles bend over the kitchen sink with hunched shoulders.

Gladiolus by TheRealNightTempest

(1/1 I 13,163 I Mature)

Stiles moved to New York City to attend Columbia and somehow he ended up abandoned by his pack. To fill the void where his loved one used to be, he seeks affection from the wrong source. Years later a terrible encounter forces Stiles to move back home to Beacon Hills. He’ll have to face people he used to call family. Laura. The Pack. Worst of all Derek.

And because of them he’ll have to learn to heal.

I bet you kiss your knuckles by cheshirecat101

(1/1 I 14,315 I Teen)

Stiles has been in the same abusive relationship with Theo Raeken for two years now. Enter Deputy Derek Hale, who is determined to save him.

Seriously?! by Katie_MichelleAMLFTL

(10/? I 17,313 I Not Rated)

The day after graduation Stiles goes missing without a trace, eight months later he turns up in a stolen car at the side of the road just inside beacon hills….. in labour.

I Can’t Save You, If You Won’t Let Me by twistedwings

(15/15 I 22,772 I Explicit)

“Derek! Look what that bastard did to him!” he snarled out and Stiles winced at the malice in his voice and words. Everyone turned around and suddenly it was quiet, Jackson let go of Stiles as Derek walked up to him. “I swear it isn’t what you think! It was my fault. Please believe me,” Stiles begged as the tears began to form in his eyes, Derek looked at the bruise and Jackson was getting even more upset. “This was your fault! Did he brainwash you into believing it was okay to hit you?” Jackson yelled, Stiles shook his head furiously, the tears now falling down his cheeks.

Better Than I Know Myself by Vague_Shadows

(15/15 I 45,782 I Explicit)

“I’m in no need of a knight in shining armor,” Stiles interrupts. “Thank you for your concern, kind sir,” he adds with a flourish of his hand and mocking bow of his head.

“And I think I got it covered if the need arises,” Matt adds, sliding into the seat beside Stiles and throwing an arm across his shoulders.

“Right,” Derek says, feeling more idiotic by the minute. “Sorry to bug you or whatever.”

Oh, sorry, did I throw that away?

So, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me 3 hours ago. He made his decision while I was out of town last week, but waited a week to break up with me. And he couldn’t even look me in the face when he told me…he just kept playing his computer game.

To make it even worse, we live together. He’s moving back to IL within the next month (coincidentally, our lease ends at the end of July). Which means I’ve got to scramble to figure out where I’m going to live, split up our stuff, get my own things packed… it’s a goddamn clusterfuck.

So, what better time to be petty, amirite?

Starting with this pizza crust. My (now ex) bf HATES to waste food. When I eat pizza, I always give him the crusts, as I’m not overly fond of crust. But not this time. Nope. That crust is going right in the trash. Right on top. Can’t miss seeing it.

In fact, I’m still hungry. Better add a second crust to the trash!

Edit He’s cooking right now. I know he’s seen the crusts.

I’m going to move the pizza crusts to the top of the trash every day.

Edit 1 So, a lot has happened in the last 27 hours. I ate another piece of pizza and added the crust to the pile. My ex has made me food (out of guilt) that I will not eat. Fuck you and your guilt tabouleh, C! And, of course, with all the cooking, I’ve had to move the crusts back to the top of the trash. My cat won’t let me out of his sight and keeps snuggling with me… he knows something is up. I left my landlord a voicemail with the basic information (ex broke up with me and is moving, I’d like to stay here for at least a few months) and my landlord (who I have become friends with during my two years as his tenant) came to my door to tell me that I can stay in the house for as long as I want! That we will work out a rental rate. That this is my home. That I’m like a daughter to him, and I’m a good person, and to not forget that I have family and friends who love me. I bawled so hard, for about the tenth time today. Pretty sure I won’t be able to wear my contact lenses or makeup all week with all the damn spontaneous crying.

So, things are looking better than they looked yesterday. I’m very thankful for my friends and family. And my cat, of course!

Family Dinner

“I swear to God Niklaus Mikaelson if you ruin this family dinner I will withhold sex from you for an entire month!” Caroline warned as she put in her diamond stud earrings on while simultaneously giving the hybrid the evil eye from across the room.

Klaus just smirked as he met her gaze through the mirror he was standing in front of as he put on his neck tie, unlike Elijah who could tie his necktie with his eye closed considering he had been wearing one since they were invented.

“Love, we all know how long that usually lasts.” Klaus said, and he was right. Usually Caroline could only last so long in holding out against sleeping with Klaus. Especially when the 1000 year old hybrid put every single ounce of his vast experience to beguile her back into their marriage bed.

“I will be withholding sex for a month at my mother’s house.” Caroline gave him a taunting arch of her brows. “Where you have not been invited.”

Klaus growled at that. Ever since Liz had caught Klaus and Caroline having sex on her kitchen counter she had packed up all of her things and moved to a new house just so that she could make sure that her son-in-law could not enter. In fact Liz was so mad that Caroline herself had to wait a few months for her own invitation back into her mother’s house. As if the humiliation alone of having been caught having sex by her mother wasn’t enough of a punishment.

Caroline walked over to the irritated hybrid who had thought he had carte blanche to send the whole family dinner to hell in a handbasket now found himself on a very short leash. A fact that was punctuated by Caroline tugging on his tie as she straightened it out to her neurotic control freak standards.

Rising on her tiptoes as she had yet to slip on her heels she gave her husband a kiss on the cheek.

“Now who’s a good boy?”

That little quip earned her a growl of warning and a death glare from Klaus.

Caroline arched her brows as she turned on her heel to slip on her stilettos before she opened their bedroom door and waited expectantly for her husband to join her. Klaus just gave an irritated huff before moving forward and offering his arm to his lady and escorted her down to the first floor and into the study where their guests had been shown to as they each arrived.

Most of the family had gathered, although they were waiting on one more couple. Elijah was at the bookcases with Katherine pointing out some of the more valuable editions in the family collection. Sage and Fin were talking by themselves on the couch and Damon, Elena, Rebekah and Stefan were at the bar, pouring themselves a drink ( yes - Damon was considered family as he was Stefan’s brother and Caroline considered Elena to be her sister, much to the hybrid’s dismay). All they were waiting on was for Kol and Bonnie to show up.

“Hybrid Ken, Vampire Barbie, nice of you to join us, Barbie Klaus was starting to get boring.” Damon said as he lifted his glass to the two of them with his trademark smirk, which immediately earned him a scolding from Elena that Damon ignored. Stefan slid his arm around Rebekah to keep her from snapping Damon’s neck.

“Remember what I said Klaus.” Caroline said under her breath, as she released his arm to go hug Elena. Klaus knew Caroline meant business when she called him Klaus instead of Nik.

Klaus’ eyes flashed gold in irritation before returning to their baby blue that Caroline adored so much.

Manifest. Chapter 4

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4: 

The room is quiet when Steve leaves Bucky and I alone in the darkness of our once hope filled bedroom. When we’d first arrived here it was a safe haven of sorts, but now everything felt broken… cracked… violated. My mind races as I process Rogers’ every word and the circumstances of every detail that had led up to this moment and my body holds tremors of fear while my eyes scan around the room. The avengers needed our help, but the more I thought about what was going to happen next the more nervous I got. A sigh passes my lips as I find James’ blue eyes through the darkness watching me closely, his every feature concentrating on me as if I was the most fragile thing he’d ever seen.

Without speaking I place my right hand on my comforter and trace my fingertips over the soft fabric and the various areas of stitching until I find the cool metal of his hand. I run my hand over his and hold it tightly in an attempt to ground myself and rid myself of the anxiety festering in the pit of my chest. He lets me hold onto his hand for several minutes while I calm myself, his eyes never leaving me.

We sit in silence, our hands clasped together as if the sensation sparking between us is all that we have left in this world. His winter soldier demeanor is still evident in the way he sits and in the way he looks at me, his eyes calculating. But he doesn’t break away from my touch, instead he remains gentle and inviting. There are mere inches that separate the both of us and I close it when I find that I need to hug him… when I find that I can no longer handle the slightest separation from him.

The avengers being here meant that everything was going to change and I could feel it in my bones, like a poison seeping into my soul. I trusted them and I wanted to help the best I could, but I didn’t want to change what Bucky and I had. I knew we needed to go back into the big bad world where threat existed but now I didn’t know what to think… these thoughts weigh heavily on me as I inch across the comforter, my hand never leaving his. I move so my exposed arm touches the metal of his arm and my head dips down to rest on his shoulder. The moment I do this his head moves to rest on top of mine and a heavy sigh leaves his lips.

“I wish we could just run away Emilia. I wish we could just leave and it be you and me. No one else, no other conflicts, we’d be happy and free.”

His voice sounds sad when he says this, traces of bitterness left hanging in the air between us. I inch into him a bit more and nuzzle my head against him.

“Are you afraid to help them? Are you afraid of what happens when they take us to Stark tower and all of this gets ruined?”

My question comes out in a small voice, timid and cautiously aware that our hesitance is mutual. He nods against me and gives my hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m afraid of losing you. I’m afraid of losing Steve. I know that once we’re dragged back to Stark tower and back to S.H.I.E.L.D. everything will change…”

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When I was 20 years old I was living with my mom when my uncle, her brother and our landlord, assaulted me one morning. That day I packed up my room and left my mother’s house for the last time. I spent the next week bouncing between my best friends bedroom floor at her parents’ house and my dad’s couch, until my father got an apartment, where he and I shared a room for the next 6 months, until I moved out with my best friend. We spent the next two years sharing one-bedroom apartments while I worked a barely-above-minimum wage job supporting myself. But I wasn’t at my mom’s house. I wasn’t near my uncle.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’ve been thinking about how many relationships I’ve had to leave behind because they couldn’t give me what I wanted, or needed. I’ve been thinking about how, when talking to my friend the other day, they reminded me it’s not my job to teach people how to treat me well. And I said yes, but if I don’t, who will?

I’ve been thinking about that Nina Simone quote, “you have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served,” and how I have had to learn that lesson the hard way over and over again. About how often I am left begging for seconds when I was never given firsts to begin with. When I am sustaining myself off scraps while saying I was full and being grateful for it. How often I am left preparing a dessert that other people will eat, and never given credit for it.

I have been thinking about how, on that day, my mom didn’t try to get me to stay. And how, since then, so few people have. They never see when I’m hungry and offer me a meal.

Changes...

So: After the Sentinel pre-orders have all been fulfilled I think that the way my pre-orders work will be changing. The way i have been doing it has become too unwieldy and it’s made me slip back into very unhealthy work habits.


Im thinking instead of taking A LOT of pre-orders at once i would take an initial small run of pre-orders, enough to pay for the molds to be made and the first new masks to be produced. I can also gauge interest in the new design judging on how quickly the small pre-order sells out.

After the pre-order has been produced and fulfilled  i would release blank masks ready to ship in small batches every week. Taking orders for so many masks all at once brings in a fantastic boon of income but it also becomes a source of stress and misery when im locked in for so long. I don’t allow myself to go out much or even really relax while a production is going on…and the problem is that by the time a production is over and all the money has been spent,  I need to jump into another one immediately. Not to mention packing so many boxes every week for so long is, in itself completely exhausting and hurts my back.

Moving across the country meant that i had to ramp up production for the last year and a half- both to save $ for the move and to recover $ after the move.  I feel that it’s taken a big toll on me and maybe now i can slow down a bit and adjust to something else.

I think this sounds way more pleasant for myself and for buyers. I wont have to stress over “where is my mask” emails or worry when a mold fails at the WORST time imaginable. Less of a wait time for buyers. More freedom for me. The change scares me a bit but so does being locked in on another long mask run- and this time with way less help.

Trying to find solutions that are beneficial for buyer and for me and can lead to more healthy work habits for me in the long run…. thank you for reading.

anonymous asked:

I had this dream that Cas and Dean were breaking up after high school for some reason. Dean climbs through Cas' bedroom window and Cas was already sitting on his bed crying because he just knew it was time for them to break up and Dean held him as he cried and shed some tears as well and they have make love slowly one last time. Dean sneaks out in the morning. But of course 10 years later they meet again and fall back in love.

*sobs because sad break ups*

I bet Dean’s family was packing up because his dad was moving them across country and he couldn’t stay with Cas, and he wouldn’t want Cas to come with him because Cas had a bright future ahead of him. He’s going to college and Dean doesn’t know what he’s going to do 

And then they meet again and fall in love when they’re older and they never stopped loving each other and this is the good stuff. 

Under The Christmas Lights

She decided she’d never celebrate the holidays again, it was too painful. And the love and joy she felt with Christmas before… it felt wrong being happy when her family wasn’t around to share in that happiness. 

After ten years Peeta decides to give Katniss the best Christmas gift ever, that feeling of loving Christmas again.

Modern AU. M

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This has been a rough year. When all is said and done, I’d like to push 2014 out a window. I feel like I’ve been clawing my way out of a box the entire year. But here we are, near the end, and there’s light and open air and optimism. Even though this moving situation is driving me crazy, I’m thankful that we have a lovely apartment to move into. Even though packing up and selling the house has been tiring, I’m thankful we’ve had this house to call our home the last ten years. I’m thankful Todd found a new job and I’m thankful he’s healthy after three stints in the hospital in the past year. I’m thankful we’ve put some bad things behind us. I’m thankful we are able to move forward and I’m thankful we still have that solid ground underneath us. I’m thankful for my family, for their unwavering support, for their hand holding and hugs, for all the help and love. My mother, my father, my sisters, my children. Thankful for all of them. Thankful for everything. 

I’m thankful to have swam through murky waters and come up on the other side. A few months ago, I felt like nothing was ever going to be good again. I sat in the 3am darkness and wondered more than once what I’d have to be thankful for this year. When you’re in a dark period, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. It’s hard to remember that there is still good all around you. I can see them better now, but the things I’m thankful for are mostly things I’ve had all along. I’m thankful to be seeing clearly again, to recognize those things and people in my life that make life worth living. 

I’m also thankful to all of you, for the support you’ve given us this past year, for the encouragement and friendship, especially during the times when Todd was in the hospital. Thank you for reaching out to us, for caring and for being such compassionate people. I’m lucky to know you and have you in my life. 

Pretty thankful to be feeling thankful. 

Happy Thanksgiving.