last year in my english class ppl were talking about their childhood shows and they were getting into sailor moon and pokemon and began saying it was anime and a kid named kou on the other side of me just looks up interested and says “did someone say anime?”
Okay so I know that people make those “you never see what your art REALLY looks like because you are viewing it with the scrutiny of the creator” and I am here to tell you that that is 3000% true.
Like I just randomly remembered this, but in a drawing class last year we had to practice shading 3D shapes (spheres, cones, cylinders, cubes, etc.) and then turn them in. I was pretty pleased with how mine turned out, but by no means did I think it was that good. When I walked in the next day, there was a pile of the sketches on the counter, and when I took a glance at the top sketch I thought, “Hey, that looks really good, I wonder who did that?” but then a few seconds later it immediately looked worse. Why? Because it was my name in the corner.
When I think about those few seconds, I remember how I didn’t see the flaws in the sketch. I just thought it looked really, really good. Then, after that short period, all the flaws jumped out at me and it looked way worse. The simple fact that the sketch was mine made it look worse to me.
So, if you are self conscious about your art, and if you think it looks terrible, it really doesn’t. You’re the only one who is going to think that. It’s why people who aren’t artists tell you that your terrible doodle is amazing, even if it doesn’t look like that to you. I feel that way a lot, but whenever I do, I try to remember those five seconds where I saw my art as someone else’s, and I end up liking what I draw a whole lot more.
wednesday night, and I was super down because my father was treating me like shit. I was talking to L (I shall refer to him as that from now on) and ended up spilling the beans about my situation with my father - it was heavy, and he clearly felt bad for me but didn’t know what to do. we soon changed subjects and I had fun till bedtime talking to him.
yesterday, I had only two classes, and between them a one-hour window (in which I was sitting thru the most boring design class ever to keep aurora from dying) and L messaged me like
“I’m actually gonna skip my last class because I have to study my opera role, do you have any classes after this?”
I was like “actually, I do, but I can get in late, I guess. why?”
to which he replied
“good, I’m going there then. see you in a bit.”
and I was?????? omg??? he’s coming to my campus to see me???? help me
so aurora and I went outside and stood there chatting with our friends and when I saw him walking down the steps I was like oh my god I can’t believe I got this for myself and shook a little…… when he approached I outstretched my hand like ‘come closer’ and he… just kissed me hello….. in front of all my friends……… then he introduced himself to everyone and started talking to aurora and everyone got on very well and he talked to everyone and!! he was affectionate all the time like he just put his arm around my waist and held my hand and at times poked my cheek and went “stop making that angry face” “I’m not angry!!!” “angry faaaace” or stroked my hair casually while talking to others and I was just. well. a small blob of putty. lol.
needless to say, I didn’t go to my last class at all, and he was late for lunch AND for work lol.
looking at it now, I see he did it to comfort me. We’ve been ‘together’ for six days now, no way he would show up at the place I study at and just mingle with my friends because he had no shit to do. he had to drive from another neighbourhood to do it, and like, it takes time and gas and willingness u know? and that. was so considerate of him? since he’s not that good with words he did what he could? like oh my god!!! so cute!!! i’m so happy!!!
1) his hands are super soft and he doesn’t use hand cream and his lips are super soft and he also doesn’t use lip balm??? what is this sorcery?? teach me ur secrets????
2) he was dressed so nicely like dressy and crap because of Work With Law and I was just like :3c he he he he look at it y’all that’s how a man dresses decently
3) he calls me ‘child’ sometimes (even tho he’s only two years older than me) and not in a demeaning way which is weird because I always associated it with weird bdsm shit or wrong power dynamics but. that’s not the case. idk how I feel about it tbh? I’m currently wrapped in a softie wearing a disney nightgown tho……..
4) we’re going to a classical music concert tomorrow!! I’m excited
this is so pda lmao sorry for being gross but I just…… have feelings
“Rin-senpai,” Rei says, quietly coming up behind Rin and putting a hand on Rin’s hip, “I believe you were able to turn out more last class, is something the matter?”
It’s the third, or maybe fourth time he’s made an excuse to leave some sort of lingering touch on Rin’s body, and Rin’s face in the mirror flames red and he thinks Rei knows but then again this is Rei and this is also a disaster and he wants the floor to swallow him whole; taking a dance elective may have been a bad enough decision, but taking a beginner’s ballet class with Rei Ryuugazaki (the biggest headache of a crush Rin has had in a long time) as the T.A. might have been the worst decision of his life.
“Look, are you flirting with me or not?!” he blurts out when Rei’s hand slips away, and everyone in the room turns to look, hiding their giggles behind their hands, and Rei looks touched that Rin has finally noticed.