last thing before i go to sleep finally

She laid across from me, eyelids shut, curled up into a cute little ball. Time zones were always going to do this to her; make her oversleep for hours. I knew it the second I woke up from my slumber that she would be sleeping long after I awoke. And I was right. I watched her peacefully dream of god-knows-what, in my view at last. The occasions I had dreamt of her finally being mine were countless, but nothing could have prepared me for the real thing. Her really being next to me. Finally being able to touch her. Just, her.

I reached across and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear before resting my hand on her head and slowly stroking it with my thumb as I stared at her perfect -although she would disagree- face. I watched her eyes flutter behind closed eyelids, her parted lips with the occasional flick of her tongue, her muscles shift and her fingers curl, until once, she reached out and clutched the front of my shirt as if wanting me closer. When her soft, small hands touched the cotton of my shirt, she felt it for a while, as if not believing it was there, and then tugged at it over and over. Giving in to her unconscious wishes, I moved closer to her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my body and letting her nuzzle into my chest and knead my clothing.

Her body fit perfectly with mine like in a cliche romance novel. We just slotted together like two pieces of a puzzle to complete the perfect picture.

All of a sudden, it hit me that this may have been a frequent occurrence; her reaching out for me and finding nothing. That now would be the first time she has been greeted with me. The first time she has reached out and found what she was looking for.

So, I pulled her even closer and pressed my lips to the top of her head, and promised that I will always be just a reach away.

anonymous asked:

If you feel like it, please respond with five things that make you happy when you get this. Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity! 🌼

<3

1. Voltron

2. Final Fantasy XV

3. Talking to my friends

4. Watching shows with my brother

5. Sleeping and waking up early and not having to go anywhere

Will be a bit before I have time to send this to anyone, sorry!

I think most of the biggest and scariest what-ifs arise from those should’ve been moments, if only you weren’t always  late. Too late for the last slice of pizza. Too late for the first few scenes on the cinema. Too late for an awaited party. Too late to catch the last train. Too late to realize that you deserve better, or that someone who finally left is actually “the one”. Too late to admit love, and say it. Or maybe too late to enter in someone else’s life.



I am one of those, and it hasn’t been easy. It never was. Knowing and choosing not to act is one thing, but being too late for something you’ve been decided to do is hell.


You’d keep a precious (fucking) phrase by your side every night before you’d go to sleep-“that should’ve been me”. You’d keep on wondering what if you came into the picture just a little earlier. And that you would’ve skipped chapters on the book you were reading, skipped checking for notifications on your last SNS post, skipped few of your “wasted” nights, skipped watching a movie or two, skipped too much daydreams, and procrastination, if only that meant a faster pace to get to him-a faster pace to realize things, and do something.


Because if only I came a bit earlier, it would’ve been us.

And you wouldn’t be hurting.