last stoppers

anonymous asked:

Writing prompt : Patsy and Delia on GBBO

Ok so I have seen maybe a total of…three or four GBBO episodes? (It’s the type of show that I’m really happy it exists and I will gladly watch it with friends but I don’t have any particular desire to watch on my own.) So this is instead going to be a series of headcanons rather than an actual fic. I apologize for anything that I may have misrepresented about the show

  • Patsy is a florist who picked up baking on her own because she was raised by her father who is a terrible cook. She is very stoic and focused and at times feels uncomfortable joking with the hosts and the other contestants.
  • All of her bakes tend to be floral themed (she makes beautiful icing flowers. “Professional rollerdexer” translates to “professional level icing abilities” in this AU.)
  • The one other contestant she makes friends with is the unflappable, glamorous, Beatrix Franklin, a women’s fitness instructor who has a knack for somehow making the most perfect pastry dough ever seen by man. The two bond over being the only two contestants who are almost completely self-taught due to their respective home situations
  • A running joke throughout the series is cuts to Trixie and Patsy stress smoking outside the tent while their bakes are in the oven and everyone else is mingling and drinking tea.
  • Barbara and Delia are our Mel and Sue stand ins respectively (honestly you barely even have to write changes in their personalities, this comedy duo would be golden don’t lie.)
  • No but seriously take a moment to imagine Barbara and Delia saying “Ready. Set. BAKE!” together in unison this is a very important mental image for me
  • Every single episode Delia comes over to flirt with Patsy, playfully stealing tastes of her batter and icing, and using double entendre after double entendre. Another recurring gag of the series is Patsy’s looks of confusion while panning to Trixie losing her shit the next oven over.
  • Patsy of course starts taking Delia’s feedback the most seriously, even though she’s not really a judge. She spends the off days in the florist shop jotting down notes in her recipes based on everything Delia said, completely forgetting what Julienne and Evangelina (the actual judges of the show) told her was good or to work on.
  • While Delia thinks her flirting with Patsy is just a gag for the show (she flirts a little bit with everyone on the show after all, even Barbara though she’s mostly oblivious to it) Barbara offhandedly mentions offset at one point that she should spend less time focusing on Patsy otherwise the audience might think they’re playing favorites and Delia’s like “I’m not…oh.”
  • Delia is a lot more restrained around Patsy’s station now, and flirts a lot less, and at one point during their stress smoking sessions Patsy mentions it to Trixie whose response is just “well she’s not violently flirting with you anymore” and Patsy’s just like “wait what.”
  •  When Patsy goes home that week she starts looking through her recipe books and notices all of the notes that mention things Delia’s said and she’s just like “…oh.”
  • After that the two actually start talking to each other. Like in the breaks between segments Patsy will sidle up to Delia and they’ll exchange stories about their childhood, Patsy about her time in boarding school, Delia about her childhood in Wales. They laugh about their time in University, Delia the wacky broadcasting student and Patsy the studious biology major. They actually become friends, joking more quietly with each other, and as the rounds get smaller and smaller there’s this sort of unspoken sense of urgency between them, this dread that they both share that maybe Patsy will be eliminated this round.
  • It takes all of the courage Patsy has to offhandedly say “you should really come see my flower shop in Chelsea sometime” and when Delia smiles and responds “if your flowers are half as good as your bakes I’m sold” it’s as if Patsy’s won the whole thing.
  • Miraculously Trixie and Patsy make it to the last round. The show stopper is a wedding cake. Patsy creates a beautiful four-tiered affair, a lemon cake with yellow flowers fashioned out of candied lemon and orange peel (it matches Delia’s trademarked yellow blazer perfectly.) She is bumbling and blushing when she presents it to the judges, and yes it’s because she’s overcome with emotion at having made it this far, but it’s also because of how Delia’s face lights up when she sees the finished product.
  • Once the show ends, Delia receives a bouquet of yellow tulips, a small homemade cake with lemon buttercream frosting, and a card with the address of a flower shop

Also for your consideration baking fans: Pushing Daisies Pupcake AU with Patsy as Ned and Delia as Chuck

anonymous asked:

Hi I need advice , my boyfriend and I are trying to name my cooch , I named him franklin but we can't think of any names :P

vagina, pussy, bearded clam, vertical smile, beaver, cunt, trim, hair pie, bearded ax wound, tuna taco, fur burger, cooch, cooter, punani, snatch, twat, lovebox, box, poontang, cookie, fuckhole, love canal, flower, nana, pink taco, cat, catcher’s mitt, muff, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, love hole, deep socket, cum craver, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit, hatchet wound, honey pot, quim, meat massager, chacha, stinkhole, black hole of calcutta, cock socket, bottomless pit, dead clam, cum crack, twat, rattlesnake canyon, bush, cunny, flaps, fuzz box, fuzzy wuzzy, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, pink, piss flaps, the fish flap, love rug, vadge, the furry cup, stench-trench, wizard’s sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where Uncle’s doodle goes, altar of love, cupid’s cupboard, bird’s nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, nookie, sugar basin, sweet briar, breakfast of champions, wookie, fish mitten, fuckpocket, hump hole, pink circle, silk igloo, scrambled eggs between the legs, black oak, Republic of Labia, juice box, Golden Palace, fetus flaps, skins, sausage wallet. Holiest of Holies, sugar hole, The Death of Adam, home plate, Deer Hoof, Golden Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler (Aussie), Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders, crack, Melvin, Dove Breast, Brakepads, Vedgie, Slurpy, Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps, Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo Gums, Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth, Mumble Pants (Sweden), Ninja Boot, Marcia (Aussie), Skin Canoe, Fatty, Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge, Sausage Wallet, Front Bottom, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune Nookie (China), Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring, Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt, Fishamjig, Pole Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, kitty cage, Chicken’s tongue, Conch shell, Crack of heaven, Dog’s mouth, Door of life, Fly catcher, Fruit cup, Jelly roll, Lobster pot, bunny tuft, KNISH, her asshole neighbor, lotus, nappy dugout, moneymaker, womens weapon, tackle box, bone hider, red sea, pizzo, JIZZ RECEPTICLE, The Helmut Hide-A-Way, hairy heaven, furry 8 ball rack, crave cave, arbys with fur, fish canyon, toolshed, snake charmer, Furby, Enchilada of love, Ham sandwich, Camarillo brillo, Brazilian caterpillar, dick rack, boy in the canoe, flesh tuxedo, Mound of Venus, queef quarters, Venus butterfly, cooter, cream canal, poontang pie, wet mark, private area, thresher, punash, salami garage, tunnel of love, slurpee machine, pink cookie, penalty box, ground zero, meat crease, bait, birth canal, holy grail, pole hole, pork pie, fuzz bucket, one-eyed python trail, bubble gum by the bum, stink rink, theme park, saloon doors, pink truffle, bitter & twisted, burger bar, meat counter, temperamental ringpiece, python syphon, big bud, the Wombsday Book, the condo downstate, snake lake, the indoor barbecue, pound cake, beef tomato, tickled pink, launch pad, horn of pl enty, the indoor picnic, hamper of goodies, flapped bap, bonefish, close encounter with the turd kind, sperm bank, man’s charity bash, bush tucker, midnight dip, the one-door vulva, the welcome opponent, the Twatlantic Ocean, temporary lodgings, field of dreams, bean, cooze, old catchers mitt, devil’s hole, lucy, pish buffet, pooswaa, poonaner, davey jones locker, pink panther, tinker bell, south mouth, dick eater, wonder bread, wolly bolly, foxhole, hot pocket, head catcher, Lawrence of A Labia, silk funnel, dick driver, purple people penis eater, meat curtains, ponchita, cherry pop tart, fat rabbit, scunt, pee jaws, mingus, The Notorious V.A.G., stench trench, poon jab, nappy dugout, babyoven, penis parking, cooter muffin, the promised land, cock pocket, cha cha, the shrine, bitch ditch, fury pink mink, mammal hole, ever-lasting cum stopper, the toothless blow job, happy flappy, wilt chamberlian’s daily glove, the code defierthe salt water taffy factory, mommy’s pie, the easy bake oven, the deflower patch, the virginator, the schlong sucker, the dea bone patch, the vegitarian’s temptation, the vegan store, the blow hole, the pump protector, bag pipe, Spitball Bullseye, meat wagon, pickle stinker, jezebel’s smell, yoni, willys haven, scrumpter, peach, sweat box, yeast pocket, penis warmer, tampon tunnel, penis pothole, cucumber canal, egg drop Box, sperm shack, dick dungeon, cock curator, b.o.b.’s bungalow, mommy parts, tuna pot pie, nice slice, peter vise, cock sock, rack of clam, peters grove, penis purse, grandest canyon, fish dish, banana box, tuna spread, pink portal, count fapula, red river gorge, happy valley, revolving in/out door, baby zipper, richards house, stop-n-pop, bone polisher, packin shack, weiner wrap, clap trap, camel toe, dildo hotel, axe gash, pearl hotel, sea food six pack, clam canal, coose canal, dick deposit, wand waxer, vidgie, erie canal, candy kiss, gauntlet, round mound of beehound,lick n’ stick, lap flounder, tomahawk chop, chin-chin, pachinko, cuntry pie, lip tip, the big casino, one eyed worm hole, amazon forest, cock cave, fuckdonut, coochie pop, babby, wet seal, pissy froth hole, bald biscuit, the unmentionable, mans ruin, peeshie, hairy potter, courtney cocksleve, panty hamster,deep pink, jaws of life, gizmo, faith, cock magnet, slippery slide, Meat tunnel, pink heaven, squid, dick basket, hot spot, poochika, pudding, bowl, love cave, squeeze-box, quim, honey pot, the bone collector, goodie basket, depository, pink turtleneck, bread-box, little debbie, pole hole, pandora’s box,snail tracker, cuntzilla, homebase, pud pocket, bear trap, indian bones and the temple of poon, chanch, big montana, noochie, choot, golden valley, nappy roots, dick mitten, mystical fold, and peter. 

you guys can pick one together ;)

anonymous asked:

I was wondering about how you did the snowglobes. Is the glass part something you ordered online? I was looking for a Christmas present but all I can find is how to do it with baby food and mason jars. Thank you if you can help. Your work is amazing!

Oh my gosh Anon, it’s not a fun process. But I’ll give you the overview because this info doesn’t seem to be easy to find! I had to try different stuff for several years to figure it out. You can get the glass, stopper, base and even snow bits at National Artcraft. Be sure you only use pure silicone sealant and adhesive in the globe – nothing else will hold up underwater permanently. Only plastic-based stuff can go in the globe (obviously no metal or wood, and be aware that most paint won’t work). Polymer clay works, but Premo works better than other kinds, and it’s a good idea to avoid dark colors more often than not. Attach the stuff you want in the globe to the very middle of the stopper– the stopper is going to dome up when you put it in, so stuff around the edges won’t be staying level.  Give the silicone a couple days to REALLY cure, then work the stopper into the globe. I find this to be one of the hardest parts, but there’s nothing I can tell you that’ll help. Just practice it before you attach your stuff, I guess.  Mix DISTILLED water ONLY with some rubbing alcohol and a bit pure glycerine.  You’ll want to figure out a way to soak the snow bits for however long it takes them to sink. I’ve been using a french press for that, with mixed results. Then add them to the water mix. Load this stuff into a squirt bottle, use needlenose pliers to peel back a small corner of the stopper, jam the tip of the bottle in there, and fill the globe. When it’s full, wait a few days and tap the globe every day to dislodge the air attached to your figure. Then repeat the pliers and squirt bottle routine until all the bubbles are gone.  Last, you seal the stopper to the glass with more silicone and attach the base.  Whew! It’s a big hassle, but if there’s a better way to go I haven’t been able to figure it out.