last pizza

Solace to the rescue
  • Percy: Dude, thank-you for coming!
  • Jason: Anytime bro, what's wrong?
  • Percy: There is a... thing, under my bed, and I can't get rid of it.
  • Jason: What kind of thing?
  • Percy: A horrible, dark, evil creature. It won't leave, no matter how hard I try.
  • Jason: When did it turn up, just today?
  • Percy: No, it was yesterday. It turned up on my doorstep and it looked kind of hungry, so I let it in and fed it.
  • Jason: And then what?
  • Percy: Then it disappeared... or so I thought. 'Bout an hour later, I find it in my kitchen; it has eaten everything.
  • Jason: Everything? Even-
  • Percy: My cookies? Gone. My cereal? Gone. The left over pizza from last week? Didn't even heat it. But that's all fine, really, it's fine... but you know what's not fine?
  • Jason: No... don't tell me it ate the... the...
  • Percy: Yes, yes he did.
  • Jason: I'm sorry, man. I know how much that-
  • Percy: Do you? Huh? DO YOU?! I made it all-by-my-self, and it took me hours! It was perfection! It was beauty! The perfect, exquisite layers, just the right amount of icing, not to much, not to little, not to sweet and juuuusst blue enough to be satisfactory.
  • Jason: Don't worry, we'll get that thing-
  • Percy: AND HE JUST ATE IT! I LET IT INTO MY HOME AND NEXT THING I KNOW, BAM! MY TREASURE, MY MASTERPIECE, MY-
  • Jason: Wait a minute... he?
  • Percy: I'll show you. *Leads him through his apartment*
  • Jason: Okay, where is he?
  • Percy: *Whispering* Right here. *Points down at his bed*
  • Jason: *Gets on his hands and knees* I don't see anyth- wait... is that... *Reaches under the bed*
  • Percy: Careful... careful-
  • Jason: *Jumps up with a yell* He... he bit me. *Shows Percy the deep bite mark on his hand*
  • Percy: I know, *holds up his own hands* a savage, feral monster.
  • Jason: We need to call a professional, now.
  • Percy: But who?
  • Jason: There is only one person that is even remotely capable of taming such a beast. *Takes out his phone, and starts to dial*
  • Percy: You don't mean-
  • Jason: Oh, I mean it all right. *Holds the phone up to his ear*
  • Percy: But not even that *points at his bed* deserves such a fate.
  • Jason: We have no choice... hello? Yes. Yes. Uh huh. Correct. Correct again. Yeah. Right at every turn. When? Now? Right now? Wait, what do you mean-
  • Will: *Kicks the door open* I'm here, where is it?
  • Percy: Right this way. *Gestures to his bedroom*
  • Will: Under the bed? Okay...
  • Percy: *Backing out the door* What a legend...
  • Jason: Such bravery is unheard of.
  • The beast: Hisss!
  • Will: Nuh uh, not today, big boy. You're coming home.
  • The beast: No.
  • Will: Please?
  • The beast: No, go away.
  • Will: *Stands up* Huh, it's worse than I thought... Percy, did you give it anything, as a peace offering or the like?
  • Percy: Well, yeah.
  • Will: *Eyes narrow* What?
  • Percy: I'm sorry! I had no choice! There was only one piece left, and he said... he said he was still hungry- *holding back a sob*
  • Will: It's fine, take your time.
  • Percy: He asked for things. Horrible, horrible things. Heretical blasphemies that he called food.
  • Jason: What? What did he want?
  • Percy: A- a- *emits a choking sound*
  • Jason: It's okay, Percy, you don't need too-
  • Will: What did you feed it?
  • Percy: Okay, okay. *Takes some deep breaths* A McDonald's happy meal with a frozen coke mcspider and an m&m mcflurry-
  • Will: You fool! Not the mcflurry!
  • Percy: *Breaking down* I'm sorry. After he was done, he said the burgers were smaller a- and that he was still hungry... he ate my cake anyway!
  • Will: *Grabs Percy by the shoulders and starts shaking him* Do you understand what you've done?! IT MAY NEVER LEAVE!! It could be leaching macca's from you for the rest of you're days!
  • Jason: Please?! Isn't there anything you could do?
  • Will: There is only one way. One way to repel the beast from your home. But to do so, we must... no, we can't. It's unthinkable.
  • Percy: *Groveling* Please, Will! You gotta help me, you're the only one!
  • Will: *A grave look on his face* Okay. I'll do it- no, we'll do it, but I warn you, what we're about to, we can never undo. What we're about to do will stay with us all for the rest of our lives, and there will be no turning back. Are you sure?
  • Percy: Annabeth comes back home tomorrow... if it's still here when-
  • Will: Say no more, if that happens, we're all doomed.
  • *Ten minutes later*
  • Jason: *Looking into the bowl, and at the demonic mixture inside* My gods...
  • Percy: I had no idea such evils were even physically possible to create.
  • Will: I know, I know, but it's a necessary evil. Percy, you get the bait?
  • Percy: *Timidly holds up a McDonald's cheeseburger* Affirmative.
  • Will: Good. You draw him out, and when you do, Jason will restrain him, and I will perform the most deadly part. *Holds up a fork*
  • Jason: You don't mean...
  • Percy: Truly you are a hero that rivals them all.
  • Will: It is time, lets do this.
  • *They enter the room, and quietly take up there positions*
  • Percy: *Gets down low, and holds the burger dangerously close to the beast* Hey, buddy. I got some food for yuh, wanna bite?
  • The beast: *Grumbles, before slowly approaching his pray*
  • Percy: *Slowly backing away* Here it is! Come get it.
  • The beast: *Eyes Jason and Will, before sliding out further*
  • Percy: *Carefully removes a pickle, and grimaces as he drops it in his mouth* Mmmm, delicious.
  • The beast: Hisss! *Lunges at him*
  • Jason: *Grabs the beast by it's arms, and forces it to it's feet*
  • The beast: *Trying to wrestle free, but failing*
  • Will: *Approaches with the bowl* I'm sorry, Neeks, but it has to be this way.
  • Nico: *Watches in horror as he stabs into the bowl, and lifts the fork, revealing a more despicable, evil, hate filled creation than any he had ever seen*
  • Will: You don't understand this now, but it's whats best for you, and one day, you'll look back on this moment and realise-
  • Nico: Please, don't do it! It's not right!
  • Will: I'm sorry. *Forces the home made Caesar salad into his mouth*
  • Nico: Mmmmm! Mmm! Mmmm!
  • Will: Now, I'm going to take you home, okay? Unless, of course, you want some more?
  • Nico: Can I have the burger before we-
  • Will: No. *Forces another forkful into his mouth*
  • Nico: Mmmmm! Mmmmm! *Coughing and chocking* EVIL! YOU ARE EVIL YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-
  • Will: *Forces yet another forkful of the salad into his mouth*
  • Nico: MMMMMM!!!
  • Will: Please, Nico, I don't like this any more than you do. *Raises the fork* Don't make me-
  • Nico: Okay, okay! You win! Just don't make me eat anymore of that horrible-
  • Percy: *Snatches the fork from will and forces more into his mouth* For my cake!
  • Nico: Mmmm!
  • Will: Percy!
  • Jason: Stop it, man!
  • Percy: *Forces more into his mouth* Eat it! EAT IT ALL!

The single best piece of writing advice I ever got was from a professor teaching a playwriting class, who told us that in every scene, especially scenes that were just dialogue, every character should want something. Making every character in a scene have a goal is an easy way to avoid dialogue that’s just exposition, and to make sure your dialogue drives the plot forward and/or reveals characterization. 

It doesn’t have to be complicated or super weighty–as long as the characters have a goal, there will be tension in the scene even if the goals are small. Character X wants to borrow a pen, and character Y wants to make a good impression on character X. X wants to insult Y until they go away, and Y wants to annoy X by pretending not to notice the insults. X wants Y to give them the last slice of pizza, and Y is super full but still doesn’t want X to have it. No matter what your character’s goal is, it will reveal something about who that character is to the reader, and the conflict between your characters’ goals will give the scene momentum.

tag yourself: bts members edition

jin: always there to comfort people. cherry blossoms. contagious laughter. likes satisfying videos. really kind and thoughtful. adventurous. eats the last slice of pizza. sends compliments on anon. pure aesthetics. has different shades of highlighter. fashion icon.

yoongi: sleepy 24/7. grabs coffee every three hours. curses a lot. awkward but fun when you get to know. straightforward. sarcastic at times. have a soft spot for puppies. everything is black. good drinking buddy. a chill person. doesn’t understand gaming. puts phone under the pillow before sleeping. acts tough but is an actual softie.

namjoon: messy room. always carrying a book. knows when to talk and when to listen. likes to recommend songs. opinionated. “quality over quantity” mindset. prefers beer over vodka. astrology addict. snores when asleep. blanket hogger. likes to watch sunsets. loves deeply.

hoseok: likes sunny weather. athletic. uses “lmao” a lot. gets drunk easily. always the center of attention. charismatic AF. says “i’ll fight you” but won’t actually fight you. wears heart on their sleeves. trendsetter. powerful yet unaware of it. dances in the shower. likes forehead kisses.

jimin: knows how to charm people. hardworking. loves compliments but gets shy. laughs a lot. daydreamer. likes to be the little spoon. has A LOT of pictures on their phone. clumsy. good listener. hates conflicts and resolves them. loves looking at the moon. goes with the flow.

taehyung: dog person. video games. sunflowers. knows how to adapt on social gatherings. clingy and loves long hugs. takes a long time to wake up. uses nicknames to people a lot. likes anime and old movies. doesn’t know what’s going on most of the times. likes to wear pajamas. intellectual yet complicated to know.

jungkook: night owl. cares more for others than oneself. has a ton of unread messages. competitive and hates losing. likes to send memes. always bored. god-tier on games. follows instincts. hopeless romantic. enjoys all genre of music. hot chocolates and marshmallows. binge-watches series after midnight. kid at heart.

you have no idea how incredibly reckless i would be if i didnt spend all my time stopping my best friend from being incredibly reckless

GUYS! Net Neutrality is trending again!

Sure, it’s not number 1, but it stills means everything! Keep it up! Keep sending those emails, calling your reps, texting your reps. Reblog those posts, send screenshots to your friends…. It all matters and it all helps! Keep going and don’t give up!

Ok, so, the gang’s eating dinner after the big race.

There’s a big ol’ buffet…

…and this lil’ guy runs up to it..

…screams “BURRITOOOOOOOS” like they’re a divine offering blessed unto mankind…

…and dashes away.

While watching, my little brother Oliver questioned this scene, but I set the record straight: 

This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the correct reaction to a prodigious amassment of free burritos.

Anyway, camera pans right, and–…

…wait… is that…

…oh my goodness.

it’s a miracle.

AFTER SO MANY DECADES OF BIZARRELY-COLORED, POSSIBLE-CARDBOARD PIZZA DEPICTIONS

THE SHOW – AT LONG LAST – HAS PIZZA THAT’S WITHIN THE GENERAL VICINITY OF WHAT PIZZA ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE

STOP THE PRESSES

MY WORLD IS FOREVER CHANGED

it’s freakin’ christmas up in here

my favorite part about stranger things is that one scene in the first episode where dustin brings the last slice of pizza to nancy’s room and is all like “hey you want it?” because at first i was like. here we go. we gotta deal with the trope of a kid having a crush on his friend’s older sister now again. oh joy.

but no. no that’s not what happened at all. he doesnt have a crush on her. it turns out dustin genuinely just wanted to know if nancy wanted the last slice of pizza because he’s just a nice kid. i love him.

The Towel Story

Originally posted by awwsehun

Member: Exo Sehun

Type: Fluff/Smut

“The only way I will ever sit in his car is if I’m using it to run him over,” you snapped, pushing Kyungsoo’s hand off your shoulder and picking up your suitcase, wincing at the weight before starting down the stairs. Maybe you had over packed, but you didn’t want to risk running out of clothes, especially in a place so secluded.

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i ordered and paid for a pizza last night, but it didn’t show up for 2 hours so i just went to bed.. rip lost pizza, you will be remembered