Yuuri is putting a time limit to his proposal.
We know Yuuri actually says this: “Please take care of me/look after me until I retire.” (which is the correct translation).
So I’ve been wondering why he explicitly says “…UNTIL I retire.”
…why not: “Please take care of me/look after me, even after I retire.” And of course there could be one an a million options as to why, but at this point it’s clear they both care for each other in ways which go beyond a coach and student relationship, they want to stay together, so why wouldn’t Yuuri give it a chance and say it?
But then Victor states this: "I wish you’d NEVER
retire.”, and what he says makes a whole lot sense in this context, because if
Yuuri wants Victor beside him until he retires, then Victor wishes for
that time to last as long as possible.
And these tears just confirm it, being of joy, or of fear of letting go
of the russian dork, either way he knows what Victor means, he knows
Victor wants to stay with him.
Yuuri knows… and then it got me,
WHY WOULD YUURI PUT A TIME LIMIT TO THIS RELATIONSHIP? AND THAT’S BECAUSE YUURI’S ALWAYS BEEN THINKING OF THE OTHER MAN, OF WHAT’S BEST FOR HIM, ALWAYS… SINCE HE CAME TO HIS LIFE, AND HE’LL KEEP ON DOING SO, THAT’S JUST HOW YUURI IS.
And we can see how he constantly worries:
REMEMBER THE BREAK DOWN IN EPISODE 7, THIS BOY WILL ALWAYS HAVE VICTOR AS ONE OF HIS TOP PRIORITIES, BECAUSE HOW CAN HE NOT AFTER EVERYTHING THIS MAN HAS COME TO MEAN TO HIM??
And the thing is, Yuuri’s always kept these kind of thoughts and feelings to himself, he is not one to talk unless he feels it’s completely necessary. Even if it means getting anxious all by himself, even if it means having to worry all the time without rest.
And this is why Yuuri, would never want to tie Victor to him, because he knows, if he would had used the words “Please take care of me… forever.” then Victor would have done exactly that, so…he stops himself.
And decides what’s fair to ask of Victor, and that is for him to stay ONLY until he retires. And Yuuri is sure his time is coming to an end soon (remember episode 4), so he knows what he is asking of Victor would not be much in the long-run, and Victor would be able to go back home… soon.
AND THIS JUST PROVES AGAIN AND AGAIN HOW SELFLESS THIS BOY REALLY IS, when it comes to others, specially Victor.
Which in no way means he has no ambitions, but it means despite his own desires he wouldn’t think twice in deciding based on what’s best for the other, rather than himself.
Maccachin’s incident was enough proof of how much he cares for the other man.
This boy doesn’t want for Victor to leave everything behind because of him, and we have to remember one of the reasons he got to love skating as much as he does is because of Victor, having Victor retire because he wants him by his side might actually cause the other boy to feel uncertain. Taking him away from this world, he’s not that selfish to do it.
That’s why this part, sounded like a goodbye…
Because at that exact moment when the hug takes place, he starts to think… Victor WILL go back to Russia soon, it’s like him saying “Don’t worry, Yakov, he’ll go back home after this is over (The Grand Prix), you won’t have to wait much longer.”
When he sees Yakov lecturing him just like Victor used to, he is reminded once again of the fact their time is cutting short. And the important thing is, Yuuri’s decided already, he’ll make Victor step down as his coach, after the Grand Prix Final, regardless of the results.
But then he says “And…”
He doesn’t get to finish his own thoughts. And I find this curious, because Yuuri knows what needs to be done, he knows Victor must return home after this is over, but still can’t come to terms with the idea of what will come after that.
Being responsible for keeping Victor from returning to skating, it’s just not something he’ll want to be a part of.
And after the little preview we got of episode 10, everything just gets more confusing:
“On location at the GPF site, Barcelona. Victor, having a blast doing some sight-seeing during their down-time, has no idea of the decision Yuuri has come to… Yuuri randomly flashes back to the nightmare banquet party of a year prior and starts to go a little pale…“ (x).
Specially this here: “has no idea of the decision Yuuri has come to…”
That decision being, he wants Victor to step down as coach after the Grand Prix? (we don’t know).
But one thing is certain, Yuuri might be overthinking things again, that’s why we need for Victor to step in, to end all those thoughts and make it clear, if he retires it would be because of his own reasons, it will be because he has decided on doing it for himself and not for anyone else. Yuuri needs to understand he’s not the one taking Victor away from the skating world. Victor has his own plans,
his own future projects, and Yuuri is now part of them, but that does not mean he is to blame for the other man’s decisions
Victor is still 27, and even if for a skater that’s almost the top, it doesn’t mean he’ll have to give up skating, there are still plenty of things for Victor to do, and for Yuuri to be a part of, they both can stand together, even if their plans are not the same.