Dwight said, “When did you last eat fish, Miss Penvenen?” “I…” She wrinkled her nose. “On Wednesday.” “You must be more careful.” He showed her the tiny piece of sharp fish bone he had taken from her throat. “It has caused you inconvenience and might have been serious if it had been left longer.”
So Prof. Mark Reidl of Georgia Tech is the best kind of geek, and used some cool scripting to extract all the things on Wikipedia with plot summaries: movies, books, tv episodes, video games, etc. That’s a lot of plot summaries: 112,936, to be exact.
With a dataset this large, a neural network can achieve impressive results. Sure enough, when I trained this open-source neural network framework on just the titles alone, it consistently came up with titles that were both varied and (usually) plausible.
Below are some of my favorites, arranged roughly by apparent genre:
Titanic Buffalo Pirates: A Fight Dance Story The Bad Legend Conan the Pirate O Bullets Home Transformers Shurk Hat Dies! An Enemy of Bob (Homicide: Life on the Street) Cannibal Spy II American Hero: Fire of Crusty Lego Man Hunt Nancy Drew: The Last Day (film) Surf Crisis Legend of the Experience of Scarlet Freedom Damageboo American Midnight: Swear Dragon Problem
Under the Daleks Batman and Flancles: The Fun Tree The Legends of World Planet Bomberman’s Love The Enchanted Feed The Star Wars: The Santa Contact The Long Ninja Dove in the Air (film) The History of the Galaxy Bunny Lada City of the Stupid (film) Shy Castle Hamburger (Star Trek: The Next Generation) Swords and Batman: Summer Party ?
The Boordeeple (2011 film) A Dog’s Toy Friends Boop (Adventure Time) A Dinosaur Quest Colonel Corn (video game) Scooby-Drum New Bear Borky the Pig (film) Excellent Very Broken Christmas The Great Bother Cat (film) Happy Cat in the Yaku Wonder Fireman and Halloween Rules Big Can Flower Home The Green Yaurglar Pig Scooby-Doo'Wagon Traps (video game) Book Dog (film)
Terror Dog Tree Screaming Zombies of Florence The Trunkelling A Vampire Time for Monster Murder’s Eagle Frozen Bat (film) Haunted Place The Sheep of Evil Barney’s The Devil’s Treachery Merry Scroobers: Crown of Evil The Steel-Pounted Murder King The Shadow of Life of Very Worgy (film) The Mystical Booged of California
Market that Knave Spork at Bliss The White Soup An Indiana Office The Last Fish Show The Fish of Education
Restricted section (there were quite a few more of these)
Absilloved Lovers 2: Black Bearfly Dawn Horse Man Academy 5-R: Cowboy Sheeper Wydex Breed Bot 3: The Journey Kitchen Wild Bad Party 109 Pink Moon Indiscreet Maidman
And finally, a list of the most quintessential story titles, obtained by setting the creativity to near zero on a highly-trained network:
The Story of the Stranger (1994 film) The Last Day of the Story The Lost Princess (film) The Stranger (1994 film) The Last Star (1994 film) The Secret of the Story of the Stranger (1996 film) The Stranger (2014 film) The Story of the Stars The Story of the Stranger (1999 film) The Last Day of the Sun The Story of the Star Trek: The Secret of the Story of the Star Wars
a soft place to land - a mix of gentle showtunes to chill out and relax to
i can’t wait - bright star // i don’t need a roof - big fish // all about her - lift // another part of me - lizard boy: a new musical // hero and leander - myths and hymns // what about love? - the color purple // on the willows - godspell // love song - pippin // portrait of a girl - bare: a pop opera // the next ten minutes - the last five years // give way - dogfight // the secret of happiness - daddy long legs // another life - the bridges of madison county // the human heart - once on this island // prayer - ghost quartet // the crying scene - murder ballad // you’ve got a friend - beautiful: the carole king musical // the guilty ones - spring awakening // gold (a capella) - once: a new musical // a soft place to land - waitress //
Avatar The Last Airbender - Koi Fish Spirits - “Tui & La” [in Chinese:
推 & 拉. Tui means: Push. - La means: Pull.]
Thousands of years before the Hundred Year War, Tui and La decided to manifest themselves in the physical world to benefit mankind, taking up residence in an alcove in the Northern Water Tribe’s capital city. They created the oasis in the North Pole and took the form of two koi fish. Thus the Spirit Oasis in the city became its most treasured landmark.
Liam got Laura a quiver for her birthday, as well as an old copy of Twelfth Night and feathers for her hair. Brian: “Can we give this away for gif of the week?” Laura: “…no.”
Vax would happily stay retired, given the choice.
Vex is “a little fucked up” after seeing Keyleth die. That’s what made her start thinking of and worrying about Scanlan again.
The betta fish from last week has been moved into a big tank and is doing great.
Marisha: “Keyleth’s a jumper, she likes jumping. She’s still gonna be a jumper, that isn’t gonna change.”
Marisha and Laura have both put some thought into DMing.
Liam thinks of his Luck feat as the Raven Queen occasionally guiding him past potholes.
Laura is terrified any time Vex has to negotiate and always feels the pressure.
Liam purposely made a character for the next campaign who never has to be cool or confident, because it’s so stressful. Marisha, on the other hand, is gonna be “a cool… dick” next time.
Laura: “Taliesin has the ability to be slick and eloquent on the fly.” Marisha: “He’s cool and it’s not a big deal, it’s not fair!” Liam mentions that he’s always cool and collected even when things go wrong. Brian points out that it’s in line with what Taliesin’s said about Percy having sort of a teenage mentality.
Asked about Percy and Vax’s renewed friendship, Liam talks about how it’s softened over time. “I think people thought that Vax was angry longer than he actually was.” Vax knew that Percy titling Vex was a kind gesture made out of love, but was concerned about Vex’s reaction and the way she embraced it, that she might’ve bought into everything that was held over them over all those years. Vax’s reaction to the elves’ disdain was “fuck this bullshit”, whereas Vex’s reaction was “I want that,” and it worried him that she was still in that mindset. Liam emphasizes that any time Percy and Vax have an intense scene, he and Taliesin are giggling about it afterwards, and that Percy’s death wiped any remnants of the resentment between the characters away.
Vex is still haunted by the things Saundor said.
Often in their arguments, Marisha agrees with Percy and Taliesin agrees with Keyleth, and they have to play against type.
Keyleth acts a lot out of the knowledge that she’ll still be around in centuries to see the long-term consequences, but she’s also starting to learn to be more diplomatic, less self-righteous, and a bit more world-weary.
Vax is going to keep leveling in Paladin and likely won’t take more levels in Rogue. “He’s married to the Raven Queen at this point.”
Marisha talks about how she loves when Laura and Liam bicker out-of-character and it mirrors their characters. Laura: “…I don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s always in character.”
Vex hasn’t owned up yet to reading the in-case-of-death letter Percy wrote.
After the year’s break, VM is now Keyleth’s permission to be silly. “I’m only a dumbass when I’m around these dumbasses.”
Vax thinks Scanlan’s not in any danger, and thinks they’re fated to wind up back together again. Vex knows about the drugs, and that’s given her cause for concern.
To help deal with the ridiculously long druid spell list, Marisha cuts some out that Keyleth wouldn’t use in an RP sense, but it’s still really difficult to stay on top of the absurd number she has to pick from.
Marisha realizes that Keyleth was alone when she put her hand into the orb and the others probably don’t realize that happened. She thinks her nat20 save on that occasion may have been the most important roll for her character. Asked about most important rolls, Liam goes with the Luck roll and “left” moment against Umbrasyl, and also the double-ones during the walk of shame. Laura goes with the double nat20s against the Briarwoods to rescue Vax, and her nat20 during Percy’s resurrection ritual.
For the Battle Royale, Keyleth and Grog are probably the big targets. Laura points out that the choice of map will make a big difference.
Talks Machina Becomes the Darkness:
Asked if any of them have any weapons skills IRL: a lot of the group does archery in their backyards. Liam: “I have very few skills in general.” Everyone starts listing off his skills, which includes making great Pinterest boards. This leads to Laura talking about how she and Ashley are often on Pinterest at the same time even if she’s in New York. “Somewhere out there…”
Liam is distracted mid-answer by Laura’s burp. “That wasn’t too bad!” “Yes, but I am reminded of fifty other burps.”
A question is asked and… takes a while to get answered. Things go a little off the rails. Speed 2: Cruise Control. Keanu Reeves. Johnny Mnemonic.
Favorite low rolls: Keyleth getting arrested repeatedly. Vex falling off the broom. Liam brings up the ultimate: nat1 arrow through Scanlan’s neck during target practice.
The map of Emon on the wall of the set was dyed by Taliesin and framed by Laura. The barrel on the set was haggled for at a flea market by Laura.
Marisha: “Don’t forget to worry, it’s almost maybe Thursday.”