One shot, Harry loves Louis, Louis loves Harry a lot too. Zayn gets angry a lot, he likes to hit Louis.
The first time Zayn hit Louis, Louis was too shocked to respond. He’d been mucking about with Harry and spilt drink all over his clothes, Zayn had given him a lift and he’d got his passenger seat wet. And that’s when it happened.
“Louis what’s that?” Zayn spat.
“Oh just water mate me n Harry were mucking around and I spilt my drink, it’ll dry” Louis replied grinning at the memory of he and harry,
“Louis. This is my new car”
“Zayn it’s fine it’ll dry why are you getting so worked up? Perrie upset you? y'know you can talk to me whenev-”
Zayn had slapped the older boy so hard, Louis had flew backwards and hit his head harshly on the window.
“Get out!” Zayn screamed throwing the door open and putting his foot down on the accelerator so hard it’d nearly ran Louis over.
Louis was too confused to tell anyone, so he left it. Zayn just probably wasn’t having a good day.
The second time Zayn hit Louis, it hurt.
The boys were all out at the club round the corner from their apartments and everything was going well so far. Liam was over with a group of girls with Niall, Harry and Louis were sitting at the bar and Zayn was talking to perrie.
Louis doesn’t know what he did wrong but as soon as Harry walked over to tell Liam and Niall they were leaving soon, Zayn rushed over and punched Louis square in the jaw and stomach.
“Zayn-” Louis started.
“No Louis I’ve HAD enough” Zayn hissed getting up and close to Louis hurting body.
“You tell anyone and ill wreck you Tomlinson” Zayn had whispered.
Louis watched as Zayn walked back over to Perrie with a smile back on his face. Not knowing what he had done, but started to become unfond of the tattooed boy.
Harry had helped him walk out the club that night, not asking questions though. But Louis thought how could he answer them even if Harry did ask what happened. He couldn’t.
The third and fourth time Zayn had hit him, Louis cried.
He and Harry had, had an argument and for the past hour Louis had been moping around his apartment not knowing what to do.
Louis liked Harry. He liked the way he always smiled when he and Louis hung out together, he liked the way his eyes got greener when he grinned, and the way his grin grew bigger when he and Louis were laughing at pointless happenings. He loved the way Harry was big and Louis was small, and when they cuddled during movie nights he was just covered in Harry Harry Harry.
Louis thought he was in love with Harry.
Louis was sulking when Liam and Zayn came over for movie night. Niall and Harry had stayed together away from the others to keep the two boys airways clear.
Zayn was growing angrier and more annoyed at Louis bluntness towards him.
Liam was here though, so Zayn couldn’t do what he wanted to Louis. He wanted to shut him up, force sentences out of him instead of one word answers. He wanted to punch Louis. But he didn’t know why.
Liam had walked out the room to grab another movie when Zayn finally lashed out.
He grabbed Louis up off the sofa by the loose Fabric from his shirt on his shoulders and forced Louis up against the wall.
Arching his hands around Louis throat and holding his breath away, Zayn punched Louis hard round the side of his eye.
“Stop being so blunt Louis!” Zayn shout whispered into Louis ear.
“Zayn please stop I can’t breath” Louis choked out, face growing red from the lack of air that Zayn wasn’t letting in, strangling him.
“Why should I Louis, seems you can’t live your life without ‘Hazza’ anyway, might aswell die now” Zayn sneered into Louis face, smirking.
Louis couldn’t breath. He thought he was gonna die.
Louis would miss Harry if he died.
He misses Harry now.
“NO Louis” Zayn smirked watching Louis face start to almost turn purple.
Louis started crying.
He didn’t want to die, Zayn was going to kill him. In his own living room.
“Is everything alright out there boys?” Louis heard Liam say.
Zayn let go of Louis, as Louis sunk to the floor panting for breath, Zayn called out.
“Yeah mate Louis just had a sweet stuck in his throat, nearly choked himself”
Louis cried himself to sleep that night.
He wanted the old Zayn back, not the horrible abusive Zayn.
He wanted Harry too.
Louis and Harry made up the next day.
Louis had turned up into the interview with a puffy black eye.
Harry was worried.
“What happened to your eye Lou?” Harry had asked in his sweet voice.
Louis cried at that. Latched himself onto Harry and wouldn’t let go for a few minutes.
Harry questioned Louis in his apartment that night, asking Louis where he’d managed to get a black eye the size of that from, and why he wasn’t speaking in full sentences.
Louis never answered Harrys question.
They cuddled each other to sleep that night.
The fifth time Zayn hit Louis, was under the worst circumstances.
The boys were swimming at Liam’s apartments pool that day.
Well Niall, Harry, Louis and Liam were.
Zayn was on his phone sunbathing. He couldn’t swim.
The boys had played volleyball and Louis, and Harrys team were winning 7-4.
That was until Louis hit the ball, which slipped and plummeted down towards Zayn, hitting him in the face and covering him in water.
Zayn screamed at Louis in front of the boys that day.
“Louis! Why can’t you ever do anything right?! You fucking got me soaked! And hit me in the face you bastard!” The nasty Zayn had taken over the nice Zayn was Louis theory.
“M'sorry Za-” Louis started but was interrupted by Harry.
“Woah Zayn? Don’t scream at Louis like that? What’s wrong with you! It was an accident! No need for the name calling!” Harry had spoke up getting defensive of Louis.
Harry liked Louis. He liked the way his hair was always styled differently in the mornings. He liked the way his eyes shone when Harry made him laugh. He liked the way Louis acted around children, like his sisters. He loved the way Louis was his other half, his soul mate, who was always there when he needed him.
Harry thought he was in love with Louis.
Scrap that. Harry knew he was in love with Louis.
“Why? Harry! Don’t start sticking up for him! He’s an ignorant arsehole that needs a telling off” Zayn shouted, making his way back into the apartment doors, probably to dry off.
Liam and Niall were shocked to say anything really. Zayn had never really come across as an annoyed person.
They watched as Harry had swam over to Louis lifting him up, out the pool. As Louis cuddled into Harry’s shoulder.
Harry left Louis that night snuggled in his apartment sleeping peacefully. Finally.
He went back to his own apartment and fell asleep himself, thinking over the events of today.
Zayn had let himself into Louis flat that night.
Zayn raped Louis that night.
Held his hand over his mouth, holding in his screams for help.
Zayn told Louis he’d do it again and kill him if he told anyone. Louis silenced himself.
Louis didnt say a word for over a month.
He and Harry hung out day after day, gradually building they’re friend relationship closer.
Harry kissed Louis.
Harry told Louis he loved him.
Louis cuddled closer to Harry, Harry got the point that he loved him too. Just wasnt ready to speak yet.
Harry would find out why Louis didnt speak and why he always came around with a new cut or bruise somewhere, soon.
Harry told the boys that he and Louis were in a relationship.
The sixth time Zayn punched Louis, Harry witnessed it.
The Boys were in an interview, Louis still didn’t speak.
The interviewer asked Louis a question. Louis said nothing, except look over at Harry as If to ask him to answer for him, which he did with pleasure.
Zayn didn’t like the fact that this had happened.
Harry had been watching Zayn and Louis lately. He would watch as Louis tensed whenever he heard Zayn walk into the room, or raise his arms.
He watched as Zayn always scowled at Louis whenever Louis, played a chord wrong on his guitar, or spilt or broke something.
And now he had just watched as Zayn got up off the sofa after the interview, walked over to Louis and stood above him.
“Louis can I speak to you outside for a second please Mate” Zayn spat out gritting his teeth as Louis froze.
Louis nodded and followed Zayn out the room towards the toilets.
Harry decided he was tagging along.
He stood away from the scene, so neither boy could see him and watched the abuse take place.
“Louis your gonna have to speak soon or enough or ill have to do what I did that time you splashed me?” Zayn mumbled harshly pushing Louis up against the wall.
Harry watched as Louis eyes widened and he shook his head viciously.
Zayn laughed and punched Louis hard in the ribs sending Louis tumbling down onto the floor clutching them.
Harry’s heart dropped.
“Zayn” Harry spoke walking over to the two boys.
“Oh em hi Harry, I was just helping Lou here up-” Zayn stuttered.
“I saw you Zayn” Harry’s voice was cold
And hard as he stared right into Zayns eyes.
“Get out, now!” Harry spat punching Zayn in the jaw and watched as he jog walked out the room, eyes like a lost puppy.
After that day, Harry made sure Zayn was never in the room with Louis alone again.
He would only see him when the boys were needed altogether somewhere.
Louis had written down what had happened with Zayn that night on a notepad.
Harry cried, so did Louis.
They slept for around 2 hours, passing the time by just looking at each other and thinking.
Less than a week later, Harry confronted Zayn.
Perrie was there and she had told Harry the drugs she had found in Zayns back two nights before.
Harry punched Zayn again and drove him down to the station.
Zayn was taken to a rehab hospital and charged 6 years for rape.
Louis hopes the old Zayn would come back, hopes he would take over this horrible Zayn.
Louis didnt speak for around 7 months in total. His councillor tried everything. Told Harry it was selective mutism. Meaning Louis would only speak again when he wanted too.
That night Harry made love to Louis, taking away those bad memories from that bed and replacing them with new, loving ones.
Louis cried that night.
He whispered the smallest “I love you” into Harry’s ear for the first time.
Harry cried that night too, Louis had spoken after all this time.
Harry pulled Louis closer that night.
Whispered all the things he loved about him. Sending louis off dreaming peaceful dreams once again.
This is staged after the interview where Louis and the rest of the boys were ignored , and Harry was the star.
Louis stormed past me and walked into the dressing room. He went into the private bathroom and locked the door. I sighed.
The lads are pissed at me. Why? Because , that interviewer didn’t focus on them. It’s not like I want her to focus all her time on me. But , she did. Liam was able to get Niall and Zayn to calm down . Which wasn’t hard since they were laid back and didn’t really care about being left alone for one interview.
Though , there was Louis. He’d dyed his hair for red nose day and she didn’t even ask about it. Louis was so nervous about dying his hair , he probably feels like there was no point to doing it now.
“Louis” I called as I leaned my forehead against the bathroom door. “Come out ,please” I begged.
“Fuck you” he spat. I sighed angrily and hit the door with my fist.
“It’s not like I wanted all her attention!” I hollered. Louis didn’t respond. “I’m sorry no one asked about your hair. But , does that really matter? The fans know why you did it and they love it! Why focus on a stupid interviewer?” I questioned. I stepped back when I heard Louis place a hand on the door knob. He opened the door and looked at me, anger in his eyes.
“Because , its always the Harry show! No matter what country we’re in. It’s always about you! And excuse me if I’m tried of it!” he yelled.
“Are you tried of not getting the attention you deserve or are you tried of me?” I asked , worried. I loved Louis. I didn’t want him to be mad at me. I certainly didn’t want that interviewers attention.
Louis sighed and calmed down. “I’m tried of you hogging the spot light” he spat. Tears welled in my eyes.
I pushed Louis and he hit his back on the door.
“I don’t want the spot light! You’re only mad because of your hair! Because , if it was Liam answering all the questions , or Niall , or Zayn you’d be fine with it! You’re just mad about you’re stupid fucking hair! But , whatever take it out on me! I don’t give a shit anymore!” I screamed , spitting out all my bent up anger. Louis looked at me with wide eyes. I just turned away and stormed out of the dressing room.
Liam , Zayn , and Niall were in the hallway , probably hearing the fight. Tears were rolling down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry” I said to them. Niall shook his head and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. He and Zayn then walked with me down the hall and out to the tour bus.
“Alright , what was that?” Liam questioned as he walked into the room. I was still in shock from Harry’s outburst. I was a little confused too.
Did we just break up?
I retained myself quickly and looked at Liam. “Aren’t you tired of it?” I asked. Liam sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
“Even if I am a little tried of it always being about Harry , its not his fault. Management sets all this up. You know better then anyone that Harry doesn’t want this spot light on him.” Liam pointed out.
“I just hate it” I huffed. Liam then snapped.
“Louis , stop being a five year old. You’re pissed that you were ignored , we all are. But , we aren’t taking it out on Harry. You are. So , stop sulking , talk to management if you want the stop light so bad , and go apologize to your boyfriend who is crying in the tour bus” Liam shouted and stormed out , just like Harry did.
Liam was right. I was acting like a five year old. I was jealous that Harry was getting all the light. I wanted people to see my hair and all the charity work I’d done. Liam was right again , I should’ve just talked to management. I shouldn’t have blamed Harry.
I was already walking onto the tour bus by the time I’d thought it all through.
I was crying in my bunk when I heard Louis enter the tour bus. He hadn’t said anything , but he just has this way of walking . I always know its him.
“Harry?” Louis questioned as he opened up the curtain to my bunk.
“I’m sorry , Louis” I began before he could speak. “You do so much good and nobody notices. All they want to know is who I’m dating” .
“Our fans notice and that’s enough for me. I’m sorry I blamed everything on you , it wasn’t your fault”
“It wasn’t yours either” I whispered. Louis chuckled.
“Just shut-up and kiss me” Louis laughed as he kissed me with so much passion.
“I love you ,Louis with or without your red locks. But , I do like them” I said. Louis laughed and kissed me again.
“Stay with me.” Harry held Louis’ face in his hands and looked him deeply into his eyes. He did everything he could to keep the older boy stay conscious. “You don’t have to go.” His eyes were teary, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t care.
“I’m sorry, Harry.” Louis’s voice was just a whisper, but Harry had no trouble hearing him. All he could think of, all he could hear, was Louis and his heartbeats.
“No”, Harry said and shook his head, leaning his forehead against the older boys’ so that their noses touched. “No, please!” Louis body shrank a little as he relaxed all the muscles in his body. “No, Louis!” Harry yelled as he shook his shoulders to make him move on his own again. “You don’t have to go”, he whispered and pressed his lips against his, as a final beg for any emotion. But Louis didn’t move, he didn’t even blink. He didn’t notice.
Slowly, with his cheeks full of traces from the teardrops, he pressed his right ear against his chest. He didn’t really know what he had expected, he knew it was too late for the older boy, but his heart clenched when he heard nothing but the buzz from the roof fan above.
This was the end. The end of Harry’s hope, his life, his heart. He wouldn’t be able to function clearly anymore. Louis had always been there by his side, cheering him up, making him laugh. But now… who would be there? It wouldn’t be the same with any of the other boys. They weren’t as close as Louis. He had been more than a friend, even though none of them had really admitted it. But they had known, deep down, that what they had was something more than just friendship. Everyone had seen it with their exchange of looks, their little too long hugs, their need of always being close to each other, but they still hadn’t talked about it. Harry regretted he never did. Not because things would have been so much different then, but because he just needed the older boy to know his true feelings.
They had been stupid not to tell each other when they could so clearly see it. What was the point with acting not to be in love, when he knew that they both really were? All he wanted now was a chance to tell Louis. Tell him how he had felt every time he smiled at him, every time he touched him, hugged him, talked to him. Tell him he loved him. Not just as in a normal “I love you” as they always said to each other, but a true, genuine, I love you. But it was all too late for that now.
Four boys stand in front of a casket, a black wooden box that holds easily the most precious thing to them in the world. They each examine the body in front of them, carefully trying to take in every little detail of the boy. Soft tears trickle down their cheeks as they grip the edge of the bed he lays on. They don’t know why this happened and they don’t understand why him but they let the anger drift away as the sadness creeped in. Their hands clasped together in a formal manner when all they want to do is fling themselves on the body before them and plead for him back. He wasn’t breathing, and that was the most surreal thing to them at that moment. When you’re in a room locked away from everyone else, it’s easy to let your imagination create scenarios of him coming back. But before them was the cold hard truth, he wasn’t breathing, he was dead.
Liam was first to step forward out of the line, trying to be the strongest for all of them. He glances down at the frail body below and whimpers at the sight. His best friend is no more and he doesn’t know what to do. He did not look peaceful, no fuck that, he looked dead. He glides a finger across the lining of the pillow his head lays on. Everything is so quiet, he knows people are whispering in the background but right then it was just him and his best friend. He chews at his lip before he begins to speak, “Hey, I know you’re not here but I kinda hope you’re watching up there. I hope you’re okay, please be okay. I hope it didn’t hurt, god I hope it didn’t. Um, we really miss you, I wish I could trade places with you but for some reason I can’t. I love you, you will always be in my heart till the day I die and join you up ther-.” He cuts short as he lets the emptiness take over him, openly sobbing. He whispers an ‘I love you’ and walks backwards into the crowd.
Zayn sees Liam leave and takes this chance to say goodbye. He drags his feet over till he hits the hard wood that halts him and makes him look up to see the site that he really wishes he didn’t have to see. He remains calm but his breathing quickly enhances, he’s panicking. What is he going to do without him? He never really appreciated the moments he had with him, just another day to hang out with his best friend. But what was he to do now? He can’t move on, this is his best friend. “I’m sorry.” Is all he says before he takes a step back and whispers a broken goodbye and paces out the door. Zayn doesn’t show emotion, but at that moment, emotion was all he could feel.
Niall Is already crying, he is held tightly to someone he has no idea is. It’s funny how strangers become your only friend in times of pain. He hears Zayn cuss a mess of words as he leaves the room and Niall looks up to see the casket open and alone. He takes a deep breath as he walks over to the box, as soon as he sees a glimpse of the body he halts. He’s sobbing more and more each step he takes forward. As soon as he reaches the boy he collapses on him. He cries more when he can’t feel the calming feeling of the chest rising and falling. He clings to him; he whispers apologies and sweet nothings into his ear until Niall becomes numb and closes his eyes. “Do you remember the day we went to the park? I especially liked that day, we were all alone and it was so peaceful. We just played football and laughed our asses off until our stomachs were aching and we were on the floor. I probably didn’t appreciate that moment until now but it doesn’t mean it still wasn’t important to me. You really are my best mate, and I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I’m trying real hard to pretend like you’re still here but you’re right fucking here and I can feel you not breathing. I can feel you but I know you’re not here, it’s like someone’s playing some weird joke on me. This isn’t a joke though, this is reality I suppose.” He rambles on for quite a while until he realizes he is indeed on top of a dead person and jumps backward. He stares at him for a minute longer, letting his tears stain the tux the cold body is wearing. “You’ll be fine”, he slurs out before patting the wooden box one last time and walks away.
The last boy stands in front of the casket. He sees him and he knows he’s there but he won’t believe it. The only person he loves is lying before him, dead. Tears paint the fragile boys face as he reaches a hand out to touch his boyfriends face. “Harry”, he whispers as he continues to envy the boy. He runs a finger through his curls just like he would want if he was still alive. Louis closes his eyes and lets the painful memory replay. They were in a car on the way back to their flat when a truck came spiraling towards them. They saw the impact more than felt it, they shared a look as their bodies collided and it went black. The next thing Louis remembers is the hospital, the hospital where Harry died. “I never got to say goodbye to you Haz, so I’m just going to take this time to pretend like I can still say goodbye. I know you’re up there so try to listen, yeah?” He closes his eyes once more and lets the words spill out. “You will be the only one I will ever love. I don’t want to think that you’d want me to move on, I don’t want to. I don’t want our memories to be tainted by another, I won’t let that happen. I wish I could’ve said goodbye but nothing ever turns out like I want it to does it? I wish I could be up there instead of you Harry, I wish I could’ve been driving not you. I just want you back so bad, it’s like I’m not here anymore. Anything that ever made me happy is now gone because you’re gone. A part of me is missing and I don’t know how to mend it. I wasn’t prepared for this and I’ve never had to deal with this much pain before so just give me time. I’m sure I’ll be mad for a long time; I don’t understand why they would take you away from me. I just want you to know that I love you; there will never be a day that goes by that I won’t think about you. I know you’re gone, I know I’ve lost my everything but at least I still got to have you, even If it was just for a while. I love you Harry, wait for me, I’ll be there soon.” And then he’s on the floor, his body hits the ground in a flash and he can’t seem to move. One hand is still placed on the box because if he let’s go then Harry will be gone and he really needs Harry to stay with him.
The four boys stand in a line as they watch the casket lowered to the ground. It looks like such a broken site from a far. The casket is closed and sealed and the body is in the ground. There is no escape and no turning back. Harry is dead and it’s so painfully true. They hear Niall start to hum a tune, they soon add in as they realize it’s the song ‘isn't she lovely’… Harry’s audition song. They all join in as they sing a goodbye lullaby to the sweet soul that is their world.
- I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t know what i just did and i know it’s very short but fuck i’m such a dumbass for writing this.