In January of 1709 during the War of Spanish Succession and a notoriously harsh winter, a man was found just east of Tours walking on the frozen Loire river. Naked and covered in burns that took the shape of vertical stripes all over his torso and legs, the man was found to speak only English and a bit of an unidentifiable dialect of French or Italian. Believed to be an opposing soldier, he was held in a military prison until 1714.
During his time in the Tours prison, he made numerous bizarre claims. The man, who accounts record as calling himself “Alexandre Ramieresse” stated that he was from the future, coming from a city called “Baz-Dan.” He stated that he was a university professor and scientist and that he had accidentally thrown himself back in time about 300 years while developing a type of vehicle, which he claimed was supposed to send people across great distances in a second. His accounts of how it worked were stated to be gibberish by his captors.
Yesterday, February 18th 2016, Professor Alexander Ramirez of Boston University disappeared from François Rabelais University near Tours while working on a quantum entanglement study.
The description of “Alexandre Ramieresse” does indeed match Alexander Ramirez, bald with a thick black mustache is all that the historical records say about his appearance. But they do list a good number of his rantings and prophecies. Among them are claims that France and Germany would have two great battles in the 20th century, one of them due to a German Tyrant whose name was stated but not recorded; a claim that he flew to Tours in a large metal object with wings; a claim that people across the globe would one day be obsessed with a play called “La Guerre des étoiles” (Roughly translated “the war of stars”), and that they would spend most of their time writing words on communication devices called “His Salt” (“his salt” in French would be “sel fon”).
Alexandre Ramieresse died in 1716 and was buried in the Holy Innocents’ Cemetery in Paris, but his grave marker has never been positively identified. Notably though, in 1987, a geiger counter located a heavily radioactive corpse buried in the cemetery, which was removed for public safety. The corpse, unidentified, bore several anomalies, including a fatally high polonium levels and evidence of advanced dental surgery. Suggesting a further connection, individuals who had extended contact with Ramieresse were said to have gone bald and suffered from tumors. Alexandre Ramieresse himself was not stated to have had any deformities, but the bones of the removed corpse did bear signs of internal cancerous growth.
Most alarming of all though, is the will of Alexandre Ramieresse. Dictated to an avocet in 1715, the will is in English and though it does not definitively state that he had traveled in time, its actual contents are quite suggestive of the phenomenon. It reads in its entirety:
“To Monica I leave my home and its furnishings. To Maurice I leave my accounts at Banque Courtois and my cat, Frodo. To Marie I leave one hundred livres on the condition that she pass on my letter to be delivered to the François Rabelais University on February 15th, 2016.”
Upon reading this bizarre will, investigators checked with the University to see if any letters had been delivered. Indeed, one had been received on the 15th but had been stowed in a sorting pile due to its faded address through the 18th and was only opened this morning. The letter read:
“Alex- It’s you from the past. For the love of fuck don’t use a resistor on B-13 or B-15. It will send you back in time and hurt like a mother fucker. Also I think you forgot to throw out the expired eggs in the fridge. Have Marty toss them fast or it will stink up the house like one of Larry’s farts.”
The final evidence came this afternoon when investigators contacted Ramriez’s T.A., Martin Salandor Essex and sent him to the refrigerator in question. Upon opening it he reported a smell that he confirmed was indeed nearly identical to the farts of student Larry Perspex.
Upon learning the near incontrovertible evidence that time travel is real, Martin stated for the record: “It’s true. It’s all absolutely true: Larry farts like a fucking skunk on Taco Bell.”
being a larrie really increases your standard for True Love™ like the average non larrie? their general definition of true love? bitch…did they meet at the same gig? who’s the anchor and who’s the rope? where are the stuffed bears fighting for their love? did it just kind of happen? are they always in each other’s hearts? hmm?
Oh...I didn't know you aren't a singer! Reading your posts, I thought that you are. May I ask what your background is in then? I really enjoy your vocal posts. I am a die hard Louie and love his voice. That's what drew me into the fandom. Looking up stuff about his voice on youtube that eventually led me here. It's so unique, if not always on pitch. He seemed more loose and free earlier, even though he had no/less solos. I'm so angry that they shot his confidence down but am thrilled he has +
+ regained (some of) it back with project no control and now his solo effort. I feel his voice conveys so much emotion (sorry niall and liam. I did say I’m a louie!). Maybe because I am always listening more closely because his parts are small. IWTWYAS is so dreamy. LYG draws me in with that yearning and tension. I like watching videos after Z left and he sings almost all of LBD. I like how you can tell when he isn’t singing in the chorus because he really does carry many of them. In DFWYB
++ he doesn’t sing all the words in the chorus and you know. Same with RTR. “Cuz I wanna be” but he doesn’t sing free and I can tell. Of course all the studio versions are produced in a way that it’s harry or a lot of oohs and aahs instead of harmonies (I’m looking at you night changes!). Anyhow, sorry for the long post. It was meant to be about you and what you studied or do and I made it all about louis. Can you tell my love for him? Feel free to add on or tell me to bugger off.
What a sweet and heartfelt fan message. I can tell your love for Louis, and I completely sympathize with the status he has in your heart.
You’re right, Louis’s voice is unique in its ability to convey so many genuine emotions simultaneously. Take “Just Hold On,” our only Louis solo song so far. The opening always, always takes me by surprise, no matter how many times I hear it, by its raw and honest yearning, its wistfulness. And by the time he sings, “What do you do when a chapter ends/ Do you close your book, and never read it again?”, I’m a mess. Yet he managed to convey a sense of hope and reassurance, too. The song is a musical embodiment of his courage when he sang at the X Factor performance.
The fact that fans can show him some love with Project No Control and Project Home (kudos to those who organized these projects), and give him any amount of confidence, makes me proud to be in this fandom. It’s the only fandom I know where fans consistently and persistently put in enormous effort to raise money for charitable causes, mirroring the enormous generosity of the band members. Even at their young ages, they have shown such genuine love toward charities. Louis, in particular, could be millions of dollars more wealthy if he wants to, but he has given so much, not only money but personal time and effort.
All the songs you mentioned have uniquely Louis contributions. The scratchy solos in “I Want to Write You a Song” reminds me of those nights on OTRA when the boys would perform even if they had a cold, shouting themselves hoarse. He does carry a lot of 1D choruses. His voice provides a unique contrast and “thickness” (as Harry said) to the 1D sound. He sings a lot of second verses because it’s the position in a pop song that needs special attention and interest. And of course, the iconic Louis solo at the end of “Something Great” gives meaning to the song title. The way his voice contrasts with Harry’s voice is a duo made in heaven– it has the beautiful contrast of two distinct textures, like “Leather and Lace” (the Stevie Nicks/ Don Henley song), but his harmonized chorus with Liam in “If I Could Fly” is also something incredibly beautiful.
And that’s not to mention his songwriting ability. We don’t talk much about “Love You Goodbye,” but Louis loves this song, and I really like it, too. It’s just a great pop song in the tradition of 1970’s pop ballads. And I like Louis’s solo, not just for the acrobatics of the octave leap, but also because he sings with the clipped vowels that reflect his Yorkshire accent. It adds personality to the song.
I’ve been involved in music most of my life, in performance and theory. I was a student in conservatory. I actually didn’t like One Direction’s music until Four, because of my bias against their boy band image, and because it was “too young” for me. I would hear “What Makes You Beautiful” on the radio and sneer at the transparent pandering to their demographic. The music video confirmed that bias.
Then I heard “Night Changes,” and I thought, no way is this One Direction. It sounded like an actual acoustic, folk-influenced ballad. The harmonies were a little bit bluesy and I loved that. And I really loved their voices, especially Harry’s and Zayn’s (though I couldn’t identify them at the time– I didn’t even know how many people were in the band). Then I heard “Fool’s Gold,” and I watched a “One Direction Funny Moments” video. The boys were different from what I expected. They weren’t “acting” cute. They were genuine and snarky and mischievous and uninhibited, and their voices were untrained but naturally beautiful. After I watched @freddieismyqueen’s videos on Larry Stylinson for two nights straight, until 2 AM each night, I thought, come on. There’s no way this is true. This is crazy. When I heard the song “Once in a Lifetime,” and the way Louis and Harry sang their verses, I thought, if Larry is true, it’s the most unbelievable, but also the most pure and beautiful love.
So I started evaluating evidence for myself, reading posts everywhere online. I followed the Occam’s Razor test of trying to fit evidence into the least convoluted explanation. I actually wasn’t convinced about Larry for ages. Then I sat at a One Direction concert and heard Harry sing, with my own ears, “And all his little things.” And RBB/SBB. What possible reason was there for all of the education about the history of closeted entertainers, and Stonewall, and the direct, unsubtle tie-ins with band members, particularly Harry and Louis?
But putting Larry aside, there’s no question in my mind that the Louis we see today has been through serious psychological trauma in the process of surviving One Direction’s contracts. Entertainment has notoriously open-ended legal arrangements that can take years to unwind– sometimes up to a decade. The fact is, we as fans can be impatient, but we don’t really know what’s going on, and the pace of resolution can be very, very slow. Just like the sale of majority shares of Syco to Sony– it took almost a year after the fact for the story to come out.
I love the passion of Louies. He really deserves the best fans. I don’t know about other people, but I will be here for as long as it takes, through all the smears, through all the falsehoods tabloids “report” about him. I know who he is. He has shown again and again who he is under duress. In the most challenging circumstances, he stands for those being bullied, he defends those who need to be defended, he is strong and kind, he puts himself in vulnerable positions to protect those he loves, and even those he doesn’t love– because of his ethics and courage.
Thank you for supporting him, anon. You picked a good person to love.