HOLY SHIT I JUST HAD THE BEST PENN ZERO PART TIME HERO IDEA!
Okay, so Penn is slipping in his art grade. Like, he’s a smart student in every class BUT art, and yes, it’s only because Rippen outright REFUSES to give him an A in anything.
Penn doesn’t mind it too much, he knows it’s only because Rippen hates him, so his self esteem is fine. But his aunt and uncle find out about it and aren’t too pleased.
Aunt Rose and Uncle Chuck ask him if he’s having any trouble at school and Penn shakes his head but mentions that the art teacher doesn’t like him too much. Thinking they will let it go and he can continue on failing.
But that’s not what happens. They decide that they are going to help out by INVITING THE ART TEACHER TO DINNER!!!
Penn literally is freaking out and screaming things like, “you don’t understand I will DIE! You can’t bring him here!”
But his uncle and aunt won’t hear it and invite fucking Rippen to dinner.
Rippen flat out refuses at first, not wanting to eat anywhere near his nemesis. But of course Larry makes him and invites himself over in the process.
Penn frantically invites Boone over so he doesn’t have to suffer alone.
So now it’s just Rippen, Larry, Boone, Penn, Uncle chuck and Aunt Rose. All eating uncle chuck’s inedible dinner and chatting about things.
Rippen and Penn are glaring and kicking each other under the table.
Uncle chuck, Aunt Rose and Larry are all talking about school and “when they were young.”
And Boone is texting Sashi about how hilarious this all is and how she should be here. (Then she finds out Rippen and Larry are there, thinks her team is in trouble and BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR WITH A FLAMETHROWER IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER.)
Someone make a fic or ep of this I have a mighty need.
If you don’t love Bono, it’s probably because you haven’t read this story yet.
The following is an excerpt from Chuck Klosterman’s article “Mysterious Days,” taken from the book Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas.
We begin driving away from the studio, a faceless two-story building nestled along the canal in Dublin’s most relentlessly industrial neighborhood. Suddenly, Bono - who is wearing sunglasses to spite the darkness - spots four teenagers sitting on a bench in the dark, huddled next to some U2 graffiti and bundled in sweaters (it’s fifty degrees outside, but it feels colder). Two of the girls are from Belgium, one girl is from Austria, and one guy is Irish. They have been sitting there for seven hours, hoping to see anything that vaguely resembles a transcendent rock band. "I’m going to talk to those kids,“ Bono says as he stops the Maserati and jumps out. I can see him signing autographs in the rearview mirror. This strikes me as quaint, and I begin jotting down the event in my notebook. But then Bono opens the trunk and throws the teenagers’ bags inside. Suddenly, there are four pale kids climbing into the backset of this car. I guess we’re lucky this is Quattroporte.
"We’re gonna give these kids a ride,” says Bono. I look over my right shoulder at the girl from Austria, and I am able to see what it looks like when someone’s mind is blown out of her skull; I can almost see her brains and blood splattered across the rear window. The car takes off. Bono drives recklessly, accelerating and braking at random intervals. "Do you want to hear the new album?“ he asks the glassy-eyed teenagers. This was over a month before How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb would be released. They say yes. Bono punches up track four, "Love and Peace or Else.” He hits the play button, and it’s loud; it sounds like someone dropping the throttle on a Harrier jump jet. Bono starts singing along, harmonizing with himself. He’s playing air drums while he drives. The music changes, and he exclaims, “This is the Gary Glitter part!” The music changes again. "This is the Brian Wilson moment!“ The teenagers aren’t even talking; they’re just kind of looking at one another, almost like they’re afraid this is some Celtic version of Punk’d. One of the kids specifically asks to hear "Miracle Drug,” which makes Bono nervous; he is worried that the album may have leaked to the Internet. But he plays it anyway, still singing along, and he turns the volume even higher when we get to the lyrics “Freedom has a scent/Like the top of a newborn baby’s head.” He calls these two lines the best on the album. This behavior is incredibly charming, and a little embarrassing, and amazingly weird. But we eventually get to the hotel, and Bono drives up on the sidewalk. He unloads the kids’ bags, and they walk away like zombies. The two of us amble into the Clarence. We shake hands in the lobby, and then Bono disappears into the restaurant to meet some aging painter I’ve never heard of. And I find myself thinking, Did this really just happen? Am I supposed to believe he does this kind of thing all the time, even when he doesn’t have a reporter in the front seat of his car? And does that even matter? Was that car ride the greatest moment in those four kids’ lives? Was this whole thing a specific performance, or is Bono’s life entire life a performance? And if your entire life is a performance, does that make everything you do inherently authentic? Is this guy for real, or is this guy completely full of shit?
One of the things Bono casually mentioned in our interview was that Mullen is “incapable of lying,” an interesting quality to employ when describing a coworker. When Mullen telephones a week later, I describe the situation with Bono and his Maserati and the teenagers, and I ask if this was a constructed event or a guileless occurrence.
“Well, it would be very easy for me to just say, ‘Yes, it was guileless,’ because how would you ever know if I was lying?” Mullen says. "But the truth is Bono really does do stuff like that all the time. He really has this insatiable urge to be all things to all people, even when we try to stop him. Now, does he act differently today than he did twenty-five years ago? Of course. But he has always had this desire to be everything. Bono thinks rock 'n’ roll is so shallow, in a way. He has always enjoyed the trappings of fame, but he feels this urge to balance it with something more substantial. He really is a walking contradiction. It’s always all or nothing with him. There is almost nothing in the middle.“
this is my favourite story of all time everything about this is perfect
like just the image of Bono harmonizing with himself and air drumming while accelerating and braking at random intervals is pure gold, how can you not love this man
and just the fact that he’d choose to not only stop to sign autographs for these kids, but fuckin take them on a joyride and play them new songs from the upcoming album… like it sounds so absurd you think maybe it’s all bullshit, but any U2 fan knows this is just what he’s like, he really does love his fans so much that he’ll go out of his way to show it, he is an extraordinary human being and I don’t see how people could possibly hate someone who is so wonderful in every way
and I think Larry’s quote “He really has this insatiable urge to be all things to all people” is one of the best summations of Bono’s personality I’ve ever heard. He’s not really the type you can pin down in one sentence - or an entire book for that matter - but that’s a pretty good start.
And, yeah, he is a good guy :3 (Not YET on my RP blog)
Just imagine Jack, aka PSGW Shard, feeling awfully lonely, having his moment filled with intense nostalgia- Ahhhhhh! (Don’t mind my unprofessional writing there XDD Perhaps I should add some special quotes there, but it was drawn in class though so I kinda hurried things a little bit XD.)