apparently i write fanfiction now? lol its my first fic ever pls go easy Read on AO3
Summary: In the year 2020, Liam Payne, sits down for an exclusive interview with Ellen on The Ellen Show, to promote One Direction’s reunion album and to reveal a secret about his personal life.
He bounced on his feet, rubbing his palms together, trying to settle his nerves. This was the most difficult part before any interview but he was looking forward to this one. And there was a special reason why.
A frazzled looking technician edged forward from the curtain and gave him a jerky nod, trepidation and awe in his eyes. That was his cue; with a skip, he moved forward through the curtain and a door and out into the blinding studio lights. A deafening applause was the only thing that filled his ears, followed by a shrill cacophony of screams of ‘Liam!’ and ‘We love you’.
Still humbled by the positive response of his fans, he made his way to the couch and met Ellen with a warm hug and a hello. After a lot of waving and grinning at the audience, he sat down on the white couch, screams and shouts still echoing in the studio. Ellen only continued grinning at him and looking back and forth at the audience, laughing slightly at their response.
two seconds in and already a questionable horse impression okay time to strap in for another weird one
“i knew you were going to start clopping"
clopping??? klopping???? clopping looks better so i’m going with that
"cloppity clop when will we stop…. is the question many of you have been asking” aw they saw my tweets
dan licked his lips as he looked over to phil SAME
he is wearing the ladybird jumper so i agree
remember the ladybird jumper selfie??? let’s take a moment
okay back to the video
it was a nice moment of remembrance though right
“i like a good divisive series"
"this is our great youtube controversy, phil"
those people that are uncomfortable, it’s legit the same level of sexual tension dnp have on a regular basis just in the form of a girl and horse like,,, it’s 2017 the hat/cherry/lung/milk/kitten/whatever else fic exists there are more disturbing things out there
they’re validating those of you though, good for you i’m happy for your notices
"it’s not literal bestiality” // “it’s just a lol”
“a nice little lol… just a casual lol"
"i think we should do this one and see how we feel” i mean finally putting that positions book to good use
there’s not much eye contact so far are they okay
i think recently we’ve been spoilt with eye contact and now we’re feeling like something’s wrong because they’re not gawking at each other
“so whether you want to or not, strap yourselves in for ten minutes of erotic equine roleplay”
phil demonstrating that sweet sweet hand porn
“i don’t think we should’ve encouraged you with the fanart” story of your life innit lads
congrats to those phanartists that got noticed!! you’re very talented and i appreciate you!!!
i appreciate the last one which highlights the shaved sides i liked that a lot ty
“the less we talk about that the better” legit the phandom about 2012
dan’s reaction to the fanart,,, get those screenshots
“keep it coming…. or don’t, it’s up to you” phil pls you’re making it too easy for me
“do you need to do that though?” // “i do, it’s a thing now” living for the little domestic i feel deprived
“dog. dog has a moustache."
"phil that makes no sense” as if u never make any mistakes howell
phil’s waiting to call you out like the absolute savage that he is
remember the thomas the tank engine fuck-up, phil was right on that
phil’s laugh my ears are blessed
they have two very different reactions to a horse making breakfast
i found another of dan’s kinks who’s keeping tabs on them all we’ve got another to add to the list
“what’s a good… lad? one that makes breakfast, the morning after” is that a subtle wink wink nudge nudge, daniel
“i’m hyped. this, this is, this is a soap.” dan is so excited he’s tripping on his words
he’s staring at phil okay world order has been restored
“you know you love it, stop lying to yourself” // “you love it. just thumbs it up anyway, if you don’t like it"
i love the detailed hair angles we get when they both look down on the screen i appreciate it a lot
do you think phil will ever ditch the straighteners
"that’s really posh” phil the savage already getting his revenge
congrats hp stans for phil dropping that reference
did they just compare all of our mums to a horse
“anyone that exudes glitter and makes sure that you’re resting on the weekend… that’s who you need in your life"
"maybe susankun’s on the crunchy nut like us” i bet you both are
maybe see a doctor about that
i’m not sorry
“am i the dog? i think i’m the dog” phil says after barking and effectively claiming the role of the dog
“you just frickin volunteered” dan the savage
“that was some good borks” so any excuse to compliment phil huh
“what is this video” me every time i read these summaries before posting them, i relate phil
“some good pottery"
"unless this is a magnetic knife, how is the horse holding it? with that horse thumb he’s just gonna grow?"
dan demonstrates the claw technique
look at that hand movement fluidity this ain’t his first rodeo
dan… are u ok…. you’ve just been in this position for four seconds…
turned into seven seconds, the longest seven seconds of my life…. is it one of the new 7sc they tweeted out for
“can i stroke him?” // “i’ll give him a stroke”
lanky emo lads fawn over hairbrush functions
that sounded like a weird porn didn’t it oh god no
“look at this roleplay, we nintendogs now”
“oh yeah, feel my brush”
dan gives that side-eye, he doesn’t like phil saying that to anyone else
the singing quota for this video has been filled
thought they were going to give us a sweet harmony for don’t speak and do no doubt proud but nope dan decides to parody it
this is not the harmony i wanted stop singing a weird cult theme or whatever the fuck it is
leek or spring onion will we ever know
phil is intent on killing simulations recently is he ok
“sorry guys” dan is on hand to comfort us
may need to rethink some comfort fic prompts i have
“is it okay? is anything about this okay?” if the existential crisis branding was still relevant he’d be on the floor rn
“shall we have a chat? a little horsey chinwag?” yes phil come back to your northern roots i’ve missed you
“a really long-faced chinwag” you tried dan but you will always be a southerner you can’t pull off chinwag
“is a carrot a fruit?” mister university asking the real question
is dan actually googling it
“AHA it was to catch us out for being an idiot!” i mean, you googled it so…. aren’t you still an idiot
phil is an orange kinda guy, dan is a grapefruit kinda guy…… explains a lot if you think about it
“he hates me again!” // “i can’t believe he hates me again, straight away…” pretty sure i’ve read that exact line of dialogue in a fic before
“what can i say? i’m more in tune with my inner…. horse… man”
casual head scratch as he silently prays for nobody to pick up on that quote
“deep fry anything, and that’s a winner”
“the choices hurt me so bad”
trying to justify this game just falls flat
no amount of meaningful speeches are rectifying it dan
but it’s not stopping him trying
oh he’s stopped now
“i think we should get our things back”
“this is our life” enjoy u demons
“great. i love my life” phil i just don’t even know what to say stop looking like you’re showing a lemon a good time
take out the lemon and stare at your wavy haired companion
if i used that line in a fic would you disown me
what kind of accent did dan just try to say field in because he sounded like me
“a horse can’t go on rollercoasters is what i’m thinking” // “can a horse go to the cinema?” “no, he’s going to get in the way of everyone’s screen” wow dan and phil, damperers of horse dreams since their corresponding years of birth
“yes, dan’s credit card is about to spend more money on this horse app” of course it’s dan that volunteers his card, phil would never
he’s the voice of emo goose he only spends money on luxury apps
mister moneybags high brands stan has no problem forking it out tho good for you son get some
“i am this entire developer’s number one supporter” me when dapg was announced
the frenzy time music is something special
“phil you’re doing the impossible quiz again and that is like ten out of ten banned” younger kirsten is crying
phil’s real laugh comes out to play again welcome back old friend i love you
“is she falling in love with the dog? is that what we’re asking?”
phil’s voice is like monotone throughout all of these videos he couldn’t give less of a shit
he’s just humouring dan’s kink(s)
dan stop criticising phil’s horse voice you can’t have it all for yourself all of the time we need as much of it as you do
“i am ready for this” me whenever they upload on a day that’s not the same day i’m posting a fic
there are very different theories about the multitude of onions
again phil’s includes death
i’m beginning to expect it
“oh he’s gone a bit sassy”
“passive aggressive…. okay” dan we feel the same way when we found out phil’s sent a dm
“i feel it coming…. i feel it coming… are you ready? am i ready?”
“that’s just dreamy. i’m in love with that” // “that is dreamy. i’d like that as a poster in my bathroom”
“that is the thickest spring onion i have ever seen in my entire life” // “it’d take a lot of gnashing” phil demonstrates said gnashing thank you for showing those teggies
“look at the girth on that one” you know what you did dan don’t blame us when the fics come rolling in
the onion fic
“how do you not love this? people, i mean come on, this is better than the current season of the walking dead”
uncomfortable fidgeting as dan realises he’s pissed off hundreds of thousands of people
staring at phil again yes i’m living
“this is better than the wire” phil doesn’t want to leave dan all alone in the opinion firing line
“it’s turning into that cake outtake from tatinof” HOW DARE YOU.
feeling less guilty having watched it now u fuckers
“it’s literally the cake situation”
seriously i’m going to watch it again just to spite you both
“imagine a horse pushing you against a wall and force-feeding you spring onions” dan i love you but i’m going to have to reject this prompt
the game turns sinister and they both look the most excited they’ve looked for the entire video
“this is fulfilling every kink that our audience might have” in which dan tries to push his weird kinks onto us out of fear phil will judge him
“is the next one set in the afterlife?”
“i feel like i went to a place i didn’t think i was going to”
“so real talk, let’s get real” phil i like that you’re trying to get close to the camera but you’re still too far away it’s not doing what you think it’s doing
“if you don’t want us to do this ever again…” “what’s wrong with you” honestly dan same
they’re literally encouraging thumbs down??? how long have they been in the youtube game???
“tell us your opinions down there” oh dear god they’re encouraging the fanfiction
“if you want the horse, we want to give you the horse. you know what we’re saying?”
it’s hard to quote when they’re both talking at the same time BE POLITE AND LET EACH OTHER SPEAK
“this is a two way relationship…” why did phil’s smile grow when dan said that
“slice our subscribe button like a spring onion” // “please don’t stab your laptop and/or mobile device” // “trot over to our other channels”
Elisheba Aut fell in love with Niall Horan almost immediately. She had traveled to the deepest corners of the universe and never saw anything as beautiful as him. When given the chance to travel the galaxy with her beloved boyfriend, will she say yes? A story about true love, foreign languages, and Niall Horan’s star girl.
Niall’s phone lit up in the dark bedroom, the screen bright where it lay next to his head on the mattress. He reached over and picked it up, squinting at the screen and seeing a text from Harry. He slid to open the message and read, “all i want is your clothes on my floor, coffee made for two, and to make you so happy it hurts.”
Niall closed his eyes and blinked back the tears that stung at his eyelids.
“And it is Lee Pace, as Winston, who makes The Credeaux Canvas immediately and colorfully burst into life. The freshly minted Juilliard graduate is a marvel of self-consciousness, ebullience and quirkiness that’s reminiscent of Mark Rufalo’s terrific performance in Kenneth Lonergan’s This Is Our Youth”
“It’s mesmerizing to watch and listen to Winston. His voice cracks with excitement as he describes his discovery of Credeaux during a trip to Paris that left him exhilerated even though financially reduced to eating one meal a day. He endears himself to us with his little leaps of enthusiasm. The way he hungrily nibbles from the contents of a box of dry cereal captures his hunger for life. Bunin’s gift for humor is clearly in the hands of an actor worth watching.”
-A CurtainUp review of the Credeaux Canvas starring Lee Pace (Winston)
“He might not have wished for better players, though. From the moment Lee Pace wakes up from the pallet he’s sleeping on at play’s start, he gives one of those career-making performances. As he begins his day, he’s unable to stand still. His Winston leaps about the room, shifts from leg to leg like an anxious egret, stutters in short, enthralls. As the play unfolds and Winston wises up to himself, Pace becomes increasingly still, but nothing erases those first impressions of a resourceful actor demonstrating complete on-stage confidence. Incidentally, the lanky lad graduated from Juilliard just minutes ago.
Pace is so effective, in fact, that he seems to have thrown down a challenge to Glenn Howerton, another recent Juilliard alumnus who arrives on a similar but somehow less convincing acting high. “Notice me, too,” he seems to be saying.”
- A Theater Mania Review of the Credeaux Canvas starring Lee Pace (Winston)
“Like Jen, you will be unable to resist Lee Pace. Looking and even sounding a bit like a young Gregory Peck, he gives a powerhouse performance as the tragedy haunted Bosnian for whom his newfound loves– the theater and Jen– mean a new and better future. He is a brutally passionate Oedipus and a sexy, perplexingly unknowable Hajika. His dual characterizations more than deliver on the promise of his impressive debut in The Credeaux Canvas”
- A CurtainUp review of A Small Tragedy starring Lee Pace (Hajika)
Though the actors get equal stage time, Pace owns the show, playing a slimily ambitious reporter for London’s (ahem) Guardian. (…)
Enjoying the cold logic of his dialogue, Pace possesses the cocky swagger necessary for a character who justifies all his sexual and professional desires. The actor has remarkable ease with his body and voice, rendering the reporter’s thoughts ambiguous: Are they occurring to him as he speaks or part of a casually manipulative plan to make us accept his views?”
- A Variety review of Guardians starring Lee Pace (English Boy)
“Aided by a flawless British accent, Mr. Pace gleams with menacing charm as the cocky young journalist”
- A New-York Time review of Guardians starring Lee Pace (English Boy)
Could you do a Luke smut where he is a demon and things get very steamy? You could make the plot to fit what you prefer yes, me and my friend correlated with writing because I have 20+ requests in my ask box, so thanks maddi you da real MVP
The night was quiet as she drove down the dirt road. The small tin box in the seat next to her seemed to stare at her as she drove. She quickly stopped the car, grabbed the box and got out. Y/n pulled her jacket closer to her body as the wind picked up.
She walked to the middle of the intersection and looked around, making sure no one had seen her. Kneeling down she dug a small hole and softly placed the box inside, her delicate hands shaking. She covered the box and stood up. Her nose had turned slightly pink from the bitterness of the cold wind.
“Please come,” the girl closed her eyes, whispering. The air suddenly got colder as she shivered.
“Who would that be?” a voice said, causing her eyes to open and her to jump back, “Woh, easy tiger.”
“W-who are you?” she cowered back in fear someone had seen her place the box. The tall, blue eyed boy chuckled and closed his eyes. When they opened his eyes were pitch black.
“I’m the one here to make your deal,” his eyes returned to their clear blue color, “Name’s Luke.” Luke slightly bowed and held his hand out.
“Y/n,” she slowly held out her hand and shook his. She took in his appearance: blond hair, blue eyes, lanky, with a black lip ring that adorned his bottom lip.
He walked in circles around her, “So, what can I do for you?”
Y/n opened and closed her mouth several times trying to find the right words. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “I want to save my sister.”
“Your sister?” he raised his eyebrow, crossing his arms, “Let me guess, she has cancer and you want me to cure her?” She shook her head.
“No, she’s in a coma, she can’t breathe, she’s dying and she’s all I have left,” Y/n took a deep breath, “she’s only six. Can you help me?”
The lanky lad stared at her in shock, most people came to him because they wanted fame or success, but she wanted her sister to live and in place, have herself die.
“Well, I can make sure your sister lives a long, happy life. For you,” he paused, taking a moment to think, “I can give you fifteen yea-”
“Deal,” she didn’t even hesitate, hearing her sister would be okay was all she needed, “I’ll do anything.”
“Fifteen years and you be mine when the time comes,” Luke took a step towards her, placing his hand on her neck, “We still have a deal?”
Y/n nodded, their lips met to seal the deal. The soft, gentle kiss slowly turned into more as her arms went around the demon’s neck. He pushed her back so she was against the hood of her car.
Luke groaned as y/n pulled on the ends of his hair. His grip on her waist tightened as he held her hips against his. She softly moaned into his mouth allowing him to slip his tongue into her mouth.
“I need you in less clothes,” his lips moved from hers as he pulled on her shirt. Y/n only giggled slipping off the hood of her car and pulling Luke into the backseat of her car, pulling her jacket off in the process.
He had her pinned to the seat in seconds, kissing down her neck leaving marks all over her. He tugged at the bottom of the shirt, roughly pulling it over her head. Y/n moaned as his hands went up to cup her boobs. She quickly leaned forward and slipped her bra off along with Luke’s shirt.
Luke’s kisses moved lower along with his hands. Y/n was a moaning mess at what he was doing to her. His hands quickly unbuttoned her jeans sliding them down her smooth legs. His hands rubbed over her thighs spreading them apart. Y/n’s hands tangled in his hair bringing his face back up to hers. She left kisses all over his neck and chest. She sucked dark marks onto his chest and neck.
Her hands slowly ran down his stomach to his waistband. Pulling down his pants she rested her hands against his growing bulge.
“Mm,” his hands went down and gripped the sides of her panties. He groaned and ripped them in half causing Y/n to gasp arch her back. “So pretty, princess.”
“‘M gonna fuck you so good,” his pulled his boxers off and rubbed himself up and down her slit.
He held her hips and slowly slid himself all the way inside her. Y/n moaned throwing her head back as he rocked in and out of her harder and faster.
“M-more,” she panted out, grasping onto his shoulders. Her nails raked down his back as he moaned and grunted into her neck.
One of Luke’s hands moved down and rubbed against her clit in fast circles. Y/n’s back arched off the back as she screamed out his name. Throwing her head back she came around him. His thrusts became sloppier as he ran his hands through her hair.
“Fuckkkk,” he pushed his head into her neck, moaning into her ear as he came. His thrusts became slower as he slowly pulled out of her.
They both laid there panting and sharing small kisses every now and then.
Sansa stared at her reflection in the looking glass.
Though the larders of the Vale were better stocked than those elsewhere in Westeros, the rationing for winter had brought out a sharpness to her looks. When dressed in only her shift, her ribs showed through clear enough to be counted and the joints of her knees stuck out, knobby and pointed from under her hose. Of course that could all be disguised by her skirts and gown and cloak. The sallowness of her face however…
Sansa pinched herself high on her cheeks, trying to draw some color into them.
Her hair was nicely dressed in three interwoven braids. Though her true name was more widely known in the Vale with each passing day, her hair was still a muddy brown and would remain so for some time.
So long as Cersei Lannister lived, so too would Alayne Stone.
Summary: Niall is a down-on-his-luck stockbroker married to his work, one night he’s dragged -literally dragged by the lapel of his Armani suit and suede tie- to a local dive bar where an up and coming Indie band is playing and Niall definitely doesn’t keep returning because of the charming lead singer.
A/N: So this was supposed to be a one shot but then I had too many ideas and it turned into this mini-fic. Based on this prompt by Narrying (modified due to the length. I’d also like to thank my B- in Macroeconomics)
It’s barely reaching midnight -a time Niall normally works well past and into the early morning hours when the sun is barely licking the hillsides- paperwork piled on his desk back at the office and even more scattered across his coffee and dining room tables, some files probably shoved up into his end tables along with his weekly subscriptions to the paper and local gossip magazines, but here he is stationed at a bar with a scotch and soda.
Usually he doesn’t do this, he hasn’t been out to a bar since he started interning down at the Stock Exchange -about ten years ago when he made less than minimum wage running coffee errands and ordering takeout- typical Friday night consist of overpriced white wine and practically tearing his hair out trying to close billion dollar investments with the television in the background to fill the silence -so he’s not so alone.
AU: fratboy!louis goes on a ski trip with his fraternity brothers and he runs into a tall, pigeon toed, curly headed lad that he playfully teases about being awful at skiing but turns out the lanky lad is one of the best in the world and offers to help Louis (who can’t skii to save his life) and in between lessons they might just fall in love.
yes, i do have a question about the finer points of british culture: what the fuck are cheeky nandos and why the fuck is this meme funny
so ur out wiv the lads getting absolutely wankered outside the chippy, chuckin fosters cans at pidgeons and children. Big max is blastin skrillex from his nokia cos he’s such a fuckin LAD, but lanky joe is bangin on about gettin a maccy d’s the bastard and he’s ruining the bantss. then gazzer rolls up in his Peugeot 206 wiv the big exhaust, what a ledge, and flashes us his nandos card sayin boiis, nandos, on me. the lads pile into the bantsmobile and we have a cheeky nandos, extra hot wiv some top notch banter on the side, then brendan ends up chunderin on the side of the road, what a fuckin bellend. A right good tuesday evenin all in all.