land-of-waldo

WANTED:

Name: “Waldo” [Full name unknown]

Race: White

Species: Human [Unconfirmed]

Sex: Male

Age: [Unknown]

Height: Tallish

Weight: Lightish

Hair: Dark brown

Eyes: Black [Glasses]

Current Whereabouts: [Unknown]

Description: Waldo is known for his distinct red and white striped shirt, blue jeans, brown boots, red and white striped socks, glasses and his red and white pompom hat. He is often seen with a smile on his face and walking stick in hand.

Characteristics: Waldo is a traveler who wanders all over the world, to distant magical lands and through time. Speculation and witnesses suggest he comes from the Land of Waldos, which is a place filled with Waldos just like him. Waldo prior to his sociopath ways, was always ready for an adventure and often had his trusty dog Woof by his side. Favorite hobbies included reading, collecting things from his travels, and apparent murder.

Waldo is wanted by the FBI, CIA and every other Bureau and Agency throughout the World.

Waldo is wanted for 26 counts of first degree murder [with witnesses], over 300 unsolved cases, and two custody lawsuits [Wilma and Wenda, twin sisters, last names unknown].

Profile: Waldo seems to have started his murders in the United States. He was seen in several aerial overviews of crowds, always packed for travel. Key items on his person include: mallet, cup, backpack, binoculars, camera, sleeping bag, books, shovel, belt and snorkel. Although his age is unknown, Waldo was first sighted in a crowd in 1987, making appearances all over the world for many years to come.

Not wanting to alarm the public, 7 books have been published under the pseudonym “Where’s Waldo?” to alert the public of his description. Authorities hoped this would lead to his quicker capture. Although there are many spinoff books, only these 7 original books contain actual scenes of every murder he is being investigated in, and the crowds the murders drew, upwards of 300.

TIMELINE:

1987 – First sighting.

1989 – The Great Waldo Search officially began.

1990 – The FBI partnered with LIFE cereal boxes to try and raise awareness of his description.

1991 – Waldo television series containing 13 episodes aired.

2011 – 3,872 people gathered in Dublin as a guise to “break the Guiness World Record” for Waldos gathered in one place. This was a coverup. The Land of Waldos had breached Earth and attempted to overthrow the governments, with the help of the original “Waldo”. The attempt failed, because the number of actual Waldos was overshadowed by civilians interested in the event. Chaos ensued, because of ill-planning, and dozens killed.

The following letter was sent to Waldo’s mother, Mamma Waldini, after the Authorities attempted to get information from her on his whereabouts.

“Hey Mamma,

It’s me, Waldo. I bet you’re wondering about the murder charges, eh? How could your own son turn out to be a murderous, raving psychopath? You probably saw all those children’s books and were so proud of me for making something of myself .The truth? I never asked for those. I never wanted to be known as a happy man. I’m coming for you. I’m coming for them. I’m coming for everyone who has ever seen me. But I will plan better this time. I will succeed. Woof is as anxious as I. He’s turned into quite the blood thirsty hound… Soon, Mamma. Soon I will complete my mission. Tell those authorities they better hide because I’m coming.

I am coming.

-Waldo”

Waldo is believed to be psychotic and dangerous to anyone at any given time.

If you are being given this file, Detective, it is because I have failed in finding him. I have failed in Finding Waldo.

Find him.

Find him, before he finds you.