lame superhero

New Overwatch Character Concept

It’s Tracer’s girlfriend Emily, but she’s not actually a hero so like, she’s got a really lame homemade “superhero” costume and a really corny “superhero” name, and all of her abilities are just fun, creative uses for household items. Her main weapon is a nailgun, her ult involves running people over with a minivan as she moves quickly across the map, she has no idea what Overwatch is or what she’s doing, she just loves her girlfriend and wants to help.

Paint. (Peter Parker x Reader)

Peter Parker x Reader (Requested by anon)
Request: Can you please write an imagine where Peter is jealous because he thinks the reader has a crush on Deadpool? Thank you!!

Note: I only know a few things about Spiderman and how Peter Parker is, since I really didn’t get into knowing Spiderman. (I enjoyed writing this, but I was never a fan of Spiderman. Never really liked him for some reason. To me, he’s a really boring character, and a lame superhero. But that’s my two cents, and I hope I don’t get hate for that.) Enjoy!
Other note: Y/N: Your name Y/F/C: Your favourite class E/C: Eye colour H/C: Hair colour
Other, other note: I do like Stucky, but I also like Stony and the Stony family with Peter as their kid for some reason, and that’s what this’ll have. Well, mentions of it. So don’t flip out.


“See, I told you that it wouldn’t hurt him. Just a tiny prank, Y/N.” You looked at the poor man you two just pranked from the roof of a building. Wade Wilson, also known for being the superhero/antihero Deadpool, convinced you to go on the roof with him today, and to have a huge bucket full of paint and water filled balloons, and drop them on people who pass by below you heads. He is more like your big brother and partner in crime more than anything. You two have always do things like this for fun when you both decide to skip school you both attend, and play pranks on other people or yourselves.

You chuckled, “Yea. I guess your right, Wade. This is fun. Wish Peter was here, he’d make it more fun.” “Well that’s rude. I don’t make it fun, Y/N? Didn’t have to invite you to do this anyways.” You giggled, punching him playfully on the arm, “Of course, you make this fun, Wade. It was just a suggestion.” He sighs, and drops another paint filled water balloon on somebody, and you both hear her scream in terror as the pedestrian gets her outfit covered in orange paint, making other people look at her in terror from the action. 

“I hope I don’t make it boring for you, Y/N, I mean, Mr. Goody Two-Shoes, saving the day, and not ever taking a day off to chill out with us.” “Yea, but Spiderman can’t have free days… And he works as a reporter, so he’s always booked. Plus high school.” “And you always skip your classes to hang out with little ol’ me? Awe. You’re too kind, Y/N!” He hugs you in a tight hug, almost crushing you. and you laughed as he let go of you. “You know it! It’s awesome to hang out with you, Wade!” You both laughed as you guys continued dropping the balloons on passersby.

As the day goes by, Peter goes out of the building of the high school you and him go to, looking for you, and wondering where you went this time with Wade. That’s how you guys first met, in Y/F/S class and he wanted to get to know you more. He loved the way you smiled, your laugh, and how you always get the answers right when called on in class. He also loves the way you kick ass and tell it to the bullies, and the people who fuck with you. The way you take care of yourself, the way you carry yourself, and how you always help others in need. Never bat an eye when something is in your way. 

“Where did Y/N go this time? The fifth time she’s skipped class…” He murmured to himself quietly, walking away from the high school to find you. “She’s probably with Wade again… How come she always spends time with him and not me? I don’t get it. Am I not cool enough for her? I know that I don’t skip class, or cheat on a test or other things Wade would do.” He lets out a tired sigh, walking back to his apartment complex.

You and Wade continued dropping the paint filled balloons on people’s heads as they walk by, and you both see Peter walking below you guys, looking for you, he smirks at you, holding the paint filled balloon. “Would be a shame if his clothes got messed up.” You look at him, then below to see Peter. You have the liking for the young superhero. and the way of him being a dork at maths and Y/F/C. He always make you happy, and smile when he makes a witty remark to his bullies, and others who want to beat him up. You obviously defending him, and end up beating the shit out of the bullies, or making a witty remark to embarrass them. 

“Wade, don’t you dare.” He gives you a look, and you sigh. “Wade. Don’t. I know this’ll be funny, but don’t.” “Too late!” He laughs as he drops the paint filled balloon down on Peter, making him freeze in horror for not paying attention, Getting covered in blue paint. You gasp, tried not to laugh, and ran down to go to Peter checking to see if he’s alright, muffling your laugh. “Oh, my god. Are you ok, Peter?" 

He glanced at you with tired eyes, "Hey, Y/N…” His voice was dry, and you looked at him with a worried look. “Dude, I didn’t mean for that to happen. Wade-” “So that’s what you were doing instead of being in school today, huh? You both skipped classes, just to pour paint filled balloons on peoples head’s for fun.” You gave him a confused look, scoffing at him. “Is Peter Parker jealous? Bro, we’re not even dating! I skip classes, cause I’ll always pass! Stop being so mother like!” “"Mother like”? Are you serious, Y/N? I care for your grades and yourself! And yes I’m jealous! You hang out with Wade more than me!“

You laughed at the comment, "Because Wade is like my brother, Peter! It’s nothing special!” “You suck, Y/N!” You glared up at Wade who’s listening to the conversation on the rooftop above you guys. “No regrets! You’re still awesome! Carry on! I just need popcorn for this entertaining show you two love birds are giving me! Just shut up, and make up! And I mean with the actual kissing and making out!” You both groan, and looked back at him with an angered glare at Peter, “Is that all you really care about? Is just my grades?” “No! I care about you as well, Y/N! I’ve always care about you! I always had to ask Dad and Papa for advice on how to talk to you, and how to ask you out!” You tried to get your words back as you listened to him, “Steve and Tony gave you advice?…” Your cheeks redden with embarrassment, you never knew Steve Rogers, the one and Only Captain America, and the infamous Tony Stark, aka Iron Man was giving Peter Park advice on asking you out and how to talk to you. “Peter… I… I didn’t know…" 

He scoffs, folding his arms over his chest, "Of course you didn’t know. You never knew. Do you even care if I have feelings for you, or did Wade take your heart.” “She wishes!” “Shut up, Wade!” You both barked at him, and laughed at the action you guys just did. “Of course, I care for you, Peter… I always cared for you…” You smiled at him, making him blush madly, and look away from you. “I’m sorry for all of this, Y/N… Will you ever forgive me?” You giggled, and grabbed his hand, smiling warmly at him. “Of course, Peter.”

Before he could say anything, or even try to lean in for a kiss, Wade drops a few paint and water filled balloon on you guys, covering you both in purple, red, and green paint, making you both freeze, and look up at the laughing Wade above you. “You should’ve seen both of your faces! Priceless!" 

You both laugh, and jumped on Peter’s back to get back at Wade, as he climbs up the side of the building quickly to get to the rooftop without being seen, and climbing over the roof to land on the top. "You’re gonna get it, Wade.” You laughed, grabbing a few of the paint filled balloons, and Peter following suit, chasing after Wade with the balloons in your arms, hitting him with the balloons, various colour exploding on him and his clothes. “Uncle! Uncle!” Wade calls out from being coloured with the paint, all three of you laughing on the rooftop.


Not going to lie, I had fun writing this, and I am so sorry it took me so long. But i hope you enjoyed it, Anon! -Moose

Tags: @deidaradaifuku

3

“WHAT DO YOU HEAR?”
                                        “MY PARENTS.”
“WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?”

                                        “DON’T PLAY WITH FIRE, MICK’


         indie selective canon divergent mick rory of cw’s legends of tomorrow and the flash
                                                        protected by gabriel

graphic credit (x)

Thank You

Anonymous requested: One shot with Chloe Bennet in which the cast goes to a bar and the reader gets insulted for being bi and she defends her and ends with some cute fluff. Pleaseee?? i love everything you write 💓💓

Fandom: Agents of SHIELD (cast)
Pairing: Chloe Bennet x bi!reader
Word count: 1.5k+
Warnings: Biphobia, drinking

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Nate hadn’t intended for anyone to see the lame drawing of his superhero costume. The absolute last person he wanted to see his drawing was Ray Palmer, CEO, billionaire, and designer of the coolest superhero suit Nate had ever seen in his life. Well, besides the one his grandfather had worn of course. But Ray’s suit was just a whole different level of amazing. There was no way he was going to be impressed with Nate’s childish doodles.

When Ray unfolds the drawing, Nate first tries to deny that he even drew it. Then tries to justify needing a suit and before he knows it, all of his insecurities about being just the “researcher” of the group instead of out there on the front lines come tumbling out of his mouth. Nate expects at least a little bit of mocking, and maybe even some false platitudes, but Ray only smiles and tells him that he understands how Nate’s feeling before diving into a spiel about getting around the Wild West. Nate’s trying to pay attention, but he’s too distracted by the warm feeling blooming in his chest.

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so i was looking through the character archives on the official site, trying to look for Rachel’s bio, anyway, i kinda idly noticed that out of all of goddards super secret crew currently on the hephaestus, only hilbert’s dob is blocked out? at first i thought that was just because technically he’s a defector and i imagine goddard would want to keep that under wraps but, the more i thought about it the more it didn’t exactly click for me. gabriel urbina n the rest of the cast say its spoilers, but after Lame O Superhero Origin Story you would figure it’d be up for grabs. it doesn’t take a scientist to figure out that the Volgograd meltdown is a fictitious parallel to the Chernobyl Disaster, which means that Hilbert would be at the /very least/ in his late thirties or older, so why does the crew insist on keeping his dob from us? tbh ive come to the idea that, honestly, i think it’s because there’s a very real chance hilbert’s a clone, i mean, obviously goddard has the kind of technology, so what’s to stop them from reproducing a genius that they can use an reuse for their own bidding? it makes sense for the crew to keep his dob /and/ his place of birth a secret from us if he in fact wasn’t born in Volgograd, Russia, but instead created in Cape Canaveral, Florida. furthermore, with this method, they could implant any number of backstory that would mold hilbert’s goal to their own advantage n whatnot. i realize this is a pretty big conclusion to come to, but considering all the plot reveals in season 3, i wouldn’t say it’s a stretch

Varia’s Guide to Dealing with Trick-or-Treaters

Rating: T
Summary: It’s not often that trick-or-treaters find their way to the Varia’s isolated base, deep in the forest. But occasionally there are some adventurous kids who stumble upon the mansion in the woods, and believe they’ve hit the Halloween candy jackpot. And they have—so long as Lussuria is the one who notices them first. Otherwise, it’ll become one traumatizing Halloween.


Lussuria always lamented that it was such a shame that their home was deep within the woods, for there was virtually no traffic on Halloween night. No one shared his opinions, of course, but that was fine. He had enough holiday spirit to make up for the indifference and apathy of his family. He only wished he had a means of which to express it on the thirty-first of October.

He kept a stash of candy just in case costume-adorned kids straggled by, lost and confused. Belphegor and Fran knew this, and spent Halloween day prowling the main floor of the mansion, searching for the sweets.

“Where did he hide it last year?” asked Belphegor. He was kneeling on the kitchen floor, rummaging through the cabinets. Fran was sitting on the countertop, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Think he would hide it in the same place two years in a row?”

“He knows we check all his old hiding spots, so probably not.”

Reeling back to balance on his toes, Belphegor sent his companion a glare. “Are you just going to sit on your ass or are you going to help?”

“I’m thinking, Fake Prince. He hasn’t used the front closet in a while. Might be there.”

Belphegor shut the cabinet doors and straightened, arching his arms over his head. “Good a place as any. Not like anyone’s going anywhere tonight.”

He shoved the twelve-year-old off of the counter and Fran managed to land on his sock-clad feet. He rolled his eyes in annoyance and followed after the blonde. They reached the front foyer, which was empty, and Belphegor made a beeline for the white, gold-embossed wardrobe near the entrance. Wrenching open the doors, the two rifled through the coats.

“And here it is,” sang Belphegor with a snicker, spotting a large, blue box of snack-sized chocolates tucked in the back corner of the crowded wardrobe.

As the blonde dragged their prize towards them, Fran felt a presence approaching. He stepped out of Belphegor’s line of sight and shifted quietly to the next room. Belphegor had liberated a handful of colourful-wrapped candy just as Lussuria appeared in the arched entryway on the other side of the foyer.

“A-hem.”

“Ah, hell.” Belphegor glanced over his shoulder, scowling when his companion was nowhere in sight. “Eff you, Froggy.”

“I don’t believe that candy has your name on it,” said Lussuria pointedly, striding forwards and giving the prince’s right ear a painful twist.

Belphegor hissed between his teeth at the stinging fire that resulted from the martial artist’s vice grip. “It doesn’t have anyone’s name on it,” he countered.

Slightly amused and not able to dispel Belphegor’s logic, Lussuria replied, “Fair point, darling. But I paid for it, and it’s for Halloween.”

“Like we ever get anyone out here in the middle of nowhere,” scoffed Belphegor.

“You never know. You can have whatever’s left tomorrow.”

“I’m a prince. I don’t have to wait. I take what I want when I want it.”

“If you want to keep that face of yours pretty, I strongly suggest you leave it alone.”

Belphegor pulled a face. “I hate you.”

Lussuria merely hummed under his breath and, satisfied with the young adult’s grudging compliance, relinquished his hold. “Do you hear me, Fran-chan?” he called warningly.

The boy’s head poked around the doorframe, frog hood hanging halfway over his eyes. “Ah. Loud and clear, Luss-chan.”

“You little merda, I’m gonna kill you.”

Fran immediately sped off with Belphegor hot on his heels. Lussuria gave his head a shake and strode into the hallway, where a plasma screen showed a clear picture of the elegant iron gates stationed on the edge of the sprawling estate. He would pass by it occasionally, checking to see if he could spot any trick-or-treaters before they activated the intercom and alerted the rest of the household. After a few rounds, it came as a delight to see a trio of children approaching the gate.

He quickly pressed the button to automatically open the gates. He spun on his heel and strode for the foyer, where he retrieved the candy. He met the three kids halfway, where they startled in surprise at his appearance, having not believed anyone truly lived there. Their apprehension immediately faded when they received handfuls of chocolate and Lussuria cooed over their costumes. They were on their way five minutes later, much happier about their sudden, unexpected detour.

A while later, Squalo happened down the hallway and paused as something out of the ordinary caught his eye. He stared at the security monitor, which showed the gates Lussuria had forgotten to close. Snarling, the silver-haired man slapped the button on the panel to rectify the matter and stormed off in search of the flamboyant man.

“VOIII, LUSSURIA! I don’t give a damn if it’s Halloween, you can’t effing leave the gate open! It’s a security risk, you moron! Get your ass over here so I can kick it!”

It always baffled Squalo as to how snot-nosed brats managed to straggle their way to Varia Mansion. He suspected there were probably a few repeat visitors, thanks to Lussuria. So when the intercom buzzed, Squalo would holler at Lussuria to stay put or else (and the annoyance and childish dejection that flashed through their bond told him his warning had been heeded).

But the bzzzts grew more insistent and demanding, the sharp sound echoing throughout the main floor. Slamming his paperwork down to the desktop, Squalo stood up, sending his chair skittering backwards. “Effing brats!”

He stormed out of his office and towards the security monitor, which depicted four children hounding on the button outside the firmly closed gates. Slapping his finger against the intercom, he shouted, “Get lost! Does this look like an effing candy factory to you?”

“We’re not going anywhere until we get some treats!” a whiny voice snapped, and three more joined in with chants of “Candy, candy, candy!”

The buzzing increased with vigor and Squalo felt his eye twitch with agitation. “You have twenty seconds,” he said through gritted teeth, “to get the hell off of this property.”

He returned to his office for a brief moment to retrieve his sword. He snapped it into place on his artificial arm and strode purposefully for the front entrance. The buzzing of the intercom continued, which meant the demanding kids had not heeded his warning.

“Squ-chan, why don’t I—?”

Pausing with one hand on the decorative knob, Squalo sent a fierce glare towards Lussuria, who hovered on second-floor landing. “I told you to leave them alone, damn it. You’re the reason we get kids here in the first effing place.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Lussuria shook his head. “You have no Halloween spirit. Try not to kill them.”

“I make no promises,” the swordsman sneered.

He stepped outside into the dark night, avoiding the yellow glows of light from the old-fashioned light posts lining the long driveway. When he got closer to the gate, he could see four shadowy figures gathered around the speaker. One of them was hammering on the button as his friends snickered.

Lips pulling back into a snarl, Squalo shouted, “VOIII, what the eff did I tell you?!”

The children jolted back at the forceful, furious holler. They turned to see a man with long silver hair charging towards them, waving an odd sword in the air. For a moment, they stayed stubbornly in place, believing the weapon to be fake and a means of intimidation. When the blade sailed through the gap in the bars and ripped the boy’s superhero cape right off of his shoulders, they quickly knew they were wrong.

Screaming in terror, the four sprinted down for the road as Squalo jumped the gate. He pursued them until he was satisfied he had frightened them enough to never see their chubby faces again. Feeling much better, he made the trek back to the mansion.

Levi was there when Squalo entered the foyer. Reclining back against the wall, he crossed his arms over his chest. “What the hell is that?” he asked, directing his gaze at the long piece of red cloth tangled around Squalo’s sword.

“There’s a lame-ass pansy superhero running around without his cape,” answered Squalo, ripping the fabric off and dropping it, where he gave it a few vindictive stomps.

“Did you kill them?”

“You know how much paperwork and phone calls I’d have to do?” snapped Squalo. “As much as I wanted to cut their throats open I am not dealing with the resulting legal work and their crap parents. Who the eff lets their kids wander this far on Halloween night?”

Eyebrow quirking, Levi asked in amusement, “Well then, where are Bel and Fran?”

Squalo paused, realizing that he had not seen the two since dinner, which was five hours ago. “Shut up,” he returned in annoyance.

There were some straggling trick-or-treaters who were not brave enough to press the buzzer, instead lingering a distance outside the gate, debating. A mansion resting in the woods, far enough away from civilization was rather suspicious. On the other hand, it was a mansion. There was a high chance of hitting the Halloween jackpot.

Levi noticed them first and he scowled in irritation. Muttering under his breath, he ventured outside and down the driveway. He stopped at the gate and glared at the duo of boys through the iron bars. “This is private property,” he barked. “Get lost!”

“Where’s the candy?” the one dressed as a ninja demanded.

“Do I effing look like I have any?”

“All this money and you can’t even give out candy?” the ninja frowned in disappointment. “You suck.”

His companion, dressed as a tiger, narrowed his eyes, orange and black face makeup crinkling with the effort. “Then why are you in a costume?”

Levi glanced down at his long black trench coat and buckled boots with slight confusion. “Huh?”

“What are you supposed to be, anyway?” he continued derisively. “A seventies porn star?”

Turning red with rage, Levi shouted, “You disrespectful brat! I’ll kill you!”

He unleashed the parabolas attached to his back and they hovered high in the air, immediately circling the two kids. When the black umbrellas started sparking with green electricity, the duo immediately stopped snickering and stared with horrified eyes.

The lightning did not get a chance to release itself, for several silver knives flew through the air and impacted the parabolas, disabling Levi’s signature attack. The kids turned tail and ran, faces white with terror. Levi spun on his heel to glare fiercely at Belphegor, who was curled up on the ground, howling with laughter.

“What was that for?” he demanded.

“G-great insults d-deserve r-r-rewards!” choked out Belphegor, clutching at his stomach, shoulders shaking with mirth. “A seventies porn star! Ushishishishi!”

Bristling with anger and embarrassment, Levi collected his parabolas and spared a moment to slam his foot into the blonde’s side, though it did nothing to deter his hysterical laughter. “Seventies porn star,” he hissed under his breath. “What the eff are eight-year-olds doing talking about porn stars?”

Ten minutes later, when he was settled in the living room and moodily watching television, Xanxus appeared, leaning lazily against the doorframe. “If you took the effort to kill the trash prince, the least you could do is put his body on the other side of the gate.”

“I didn’t kill him, but I’m still thinking about it,” muttered Levi.

The amusement from Belphegor intermingled with Levi’s wounded pride. Xanxus regarded the back of his Lightning’s head and asked bluntly, “What’d he say?”

Wincing slightly, he replied, “I’d rather not talk about it, Boss.”

Levi did not normally give two craps about the insults thrown at him, so to be stewing as he was meant that Belphegor had truly managed to offend him. Striding forwards, Xanxus leaned over the back of the couch and pulled sharply on Levi’s raven strands. “I asked a question, scum.”

“It wasn’t Belphegor,” the man answered reluctantly. “A snot-nosed trick-or-treater asked if I was dressed as a seventies porn star for Halloween. I guess Belphegor overheard and now the brat is killing himself.”

Xanxus let out a bark of deep laughter, a grin curling across his lips. “He’s probably pissed himself by now. Drag his ass inside, its effing late and I don’t want to be woken up because the idiot locked himself out.”

A pained expression on his face, Levi rose to his feet. “Ah, Boss.”

It was the first of many times Levi would consider shaving off his mustache and beard, though he was never able to ultimately go through it. He would avoid going out to confront trick-or-treaters on Halloween if he could help it, much to Belphegor’s and Xanxus’ amusement.

Mammon couldn’t stand holidays, simply for the sake that they always cost money in some form. Halloween candy was sold for ridiculously high prices, as far as he was concerned. But of course Lussuria never listened, so Mammon merely rolled his eyes whenever he stumbled across the Halloween candy the Sun Varia stashed throughout the mansion.

He avoided dealing with any trick-or-treaters, unless someone was willing to pay him to force them on their way. He already had to deal with two brats on a daily basis, he wasn’t exposing himself to more when he didn’t need to.

Bzzt!

“Ah, for crap’s sake,” groaned Squalo, his head falling back to rest over the back of the couch. He lifted his foot to kick Lussuria’s shin harshly. “This is all your fault.”

“I can go see who it is,” offered Lussuria, starting to rise from the cushions.

“Sit,” snapped Levi, grabbing the back of the man’s designer sweater and pulling him down. “You’re just effing encouraging them.”

“Voi, Mammon, go get rid of them.”

Mammon, who had been watching the movie playing on the television screen with minimal attention, turned to frown at Squalo. “It’ll cost you.”

“Eff you, it’s your turn! I’m not paying you crap.” As the illusionist was sitting on his right, the silver-haired man slammed his elbow into Mammon’s side. “Get your ass up.”

Eyes narrowing behind the shadows of his hood, Mammon stood up. “Fine.”

Squalo’s eyebrows flew up to his hairline as he strode from the living room. “Huh. That was easy.”

Mammon paused by the security monitor to press the button and say curtly, “Give me a second.” He lingered a moment to make sure the group of trick-or-treaters would indeed stay put before continuing on his way.

He swept up the mansion stairs and made a path for Squalo’s room. He opened the door and took a quick glance around the neat space. He started to gather miscellaneous items into his arms, taking gold watches and silver chains from the dresser and silk ties and designer shoes from the closet. He paused in the middle of the carpeted floor with his load of treasures, thinking of what else he could take when he sensed two presences approaching.

“Captain’s going to be mad,” drawled Fran, poking his head around the doorframe.

“Ushishishi, is Mammon going to burn Captain’s stuff?” snickered Belphegor, who latched onto Fran’s back and looked at scene overtop the frog hood.

“Squalo wants me to get rid of the trick-or-treaters, so that’s what I’m doing.”

“Take his shampoo and conditioner. He’s on his last bottles. Oh, and his reading glasses.”

“Don’t forget his cellphone,” added Belphegor. “He keeps it in his nightstand drawer when he’s not using it.”

Mammon collected the items and shifted to the front gate, keeping to the shadows. He stepped into the light emitting from the light-post and the kids jumped in surprise at his sudden appearance. “All right, take what you want and get lost,” he ordered, punching in his security code to open the iron bars.

The children were momentarily bewildered to see they would not be getting candy, but immediately brightened at the sight of expensive jewellery and a cellphone. They took most of the stuff, Mammon altered their memories so that they would not remember where they had acquired such luxurious items and sent them on their way.

When Mammon shifted back to the living room, it was to see Fran and Belphegor sitting in the armchair, waiting in anticipation. Levi and Lussuria eyed them in bemusement and Squalo glared in suspicion. “What the eff are you up to?” he demanded.

“Just waiting for the show,” said Fran innocently.

Smirking, Mammon leaned over the back of the couch and dumped the remaining items into Squalo’s lap. “Here. They didn’t want this stuff.”

Squalo stared down at the silk ties and bottle of cologne. “What the eff?”

“Yeah, I guess kids don’t think ties are cool. But they appreciated your Mauri shoes, and the girl liked the smell of your shampoo. I guess their mother needed reading glasses, so they were pleased about that. Oh, you’re also going to need a new cellphone. You can pay for it out of your own paycheck.”

Realization settling in, Squalo’s face flushed with fury and he jumped to his feet, sending the cologne bottle shattering against the hardwood floor. “You asshole!”

Mammon grinned and shifted off, avoiding the punch Squalo aimed his way. Not deterred, Squalo stormed off in search for the senior illusionist, hollering curses and death threats at the top of his lungs. Belphegor and Fran dissolved into laughter, Levi rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the television screen. Lussuria smiled and shook his head, getting to his feet with the intent of cleaning the broken glass and strong-smelling liquid.

“Voi, Mammon, when I find you I’m going to skin you alive and use it to make a new pair of Mauris!”

“Well, well, what have we here?”

The pair of siblings, dressed as a prince and princess, moved back cautiously from the magnificent iron gate as a lanky blonde sauntered down the path towards them. “Trick-or-treat?” the girl ventured hesitantly.

“You must not know where you are,” Belphegor said silkily. “Only the brave and stupid wander here on Halloween night.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked the boy with a frown.

“A century ago, a huntsman wandered through the woods and came across a wolf. This wolf was of larger size than normal for its species, and its eyes were the darkest shade of red. Frightened, and believing it to be a creature of hell, the huntsman killed it. Satisfied, he fled.

"He did not get the chance to escape. He was horrified by what he discovered minutes later. The wolf had appeared before him again, this time with a ghostly aura about it, with blood dripping from its fangs. The wolf had been the guardian of the forest, and when the huntsman killed it, it infuriated the creature. He returned to life as a demonic beast, the forest its territory not to protect but to feast. The huntsman was his first meal.”

Belphegor crossed his arms over his chest and reclined against the bars. “Since that day, the beast appears on Halloween, to terrorize anyone who dares venture upon its sacred land. I suggest you run off before he sniffs you out.”

While his younger sister whimpered, the boy rolled his eyes. “Very funny,” he said dryly. “You think I’m a baby or something? I’m not gonna fall for some dumb story.”

“Awoooo! Awoooo!”

The air seemed to go still as the deep, grating howl echoed through the dark night. The girl latched onto her brother, whose heart started to pound a little faster in his chest. Casting a glance at the shadowy, expansive forest, Belphegor said mysteriously, “It’s your funeral.”

“Wait—” he started, but his eyes widened when the blonde suddenly vanished into the darkness.

“Max!”

Snapping his head around at his sister’s terrified cry, his body froze at the sight of a pair of crimson eyes glowering at them from the treeline. With a savage growl, a huge wolf started to bound towards them, its black fur and teeth matted with crimson blood. Screaming with pure fear and terror, the two kids sprinted away from the mansion, their cries echoing in the night.

The second they were out of sight the wolf vanished in a swell of Mist Flames. Snickering, Fran dropped the illusion cloaking him and strode for the abandoned bags of candy lying in the dirt. “You know, you and that boy have something in common.”

“Don’t,” warned Belphegor, though he knew it would do no good.

“You both dress like royalty but have nothing to rule.”

Rolling his eyes, the blonde kicked Fran to the ground and slung one of the loaded bags of candy over his shoulder. “You need new material.”

“You need a new face,” retorted Fran, straggling to his feet with the second jack o’ lantern themed bag.

The teal-haired child shifted them into the mansion with their loot, where they took up space in the living room. Fifteen minutes later Xanxus came across them sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by sticky chocolate and candy wrappers, eyes glued to a horror movie on the television. He stared at the two obviously-pilfered Halloween bags laid out by their heads. Clicking his tongue, he strode forwards to snag a chocolate bar from Belphegor’s bag, ignoring the light jab to his ankle he received in protest.

“When you two idiots aren’t able to sleep tonight because of this crap, run it off outside and you better keep it quiet.”

As far as Xanxus was concerned, Halloween was just another day. It had never been a day he celebrated, and he had been relieved that his two kids were far from normal and had no interest whatsoever in the tradition of trick-or-treating. Lussuria was the only one who cared about the October holiday, and Xanxus only rolled his eyes whenever his Sun enabled lost trick-or-treaters with handfuls of candy.

They didn’t get trick-or-treaters very often, thanks to the seclusion of their home, so Xanxus ignored Lussuria’s efforts. Any kids that returned the following year immediately got frightened off by one of the others and were never seen again. It worked out, even if he had to give a stubborn Lussuria a thrashing or two if he got too enthused.

So he left his men to deal with the appearances of random children, tuning out the buzzing of the intercom with some success (and a few dozen drinks). The only time he intervened was when some idiots decided to enact their ‘tricks’ when they did not get treats.

When the first egg splattered against his office window, yolk dripping down the glass, Xanxus was on his feet. He threw open his window, catching a fleeting glimpse of two kids pressed up against the closed gate, one with a slingshot and the other with a carton of eggs. Not deterred by his presence, they fired another egg, which splattered just above the window.

A scowl on his features, Xanxus raised his gun and fired multiple times. The first bullet embedded into the iron bars, directly in front of their faces. Quickly realizing they were being shot at, they screamed and fled, arms raising in a protective manner.

“Voi, crap Boss!” Kicking open the oak doors, Squalo stormed in and grabbed the scarred man by the back of his white dress shirt, yanking him away from the window. “The eff is wrong with you?”

Xanxus slammed the handle of his gun into Squalo’s forehead. “Don’t pull me, trash.”

“You can’t shoot at them, damn it! Cops are gonna be crawling all over this place!”

“If I wanted them dead they’d be dead.”

“I wish they were,” grumbled Squalo. “At least they wouldn’t be able to run screaming to their parents that they were shot at by a psycho.”

“Who are you calling a psycho?”

Avoiding another strike from the gun’s handle, Squalo let out a frustrated huff of air and started out of the office. “Mammon! Find those moronic twerps and wipe their minds! I don’t need to deal with any crap from the cops!”

“It’s going to cost you five hundred per mind,” returned Mammon.

As Squalo erupted into a string of curses, Xanxus rolled his eyes and went to his alcohol cabinet. He removed a bottle of vodka and cracked off the top. “Oi, small trash,” he shouted. “Get your asses in here!”

Fran appeared in the white-carpeted office first in a swell of black and indigo mist. Belphegor was quick to follow, appearing in the entryway with a slightly annoyed expression. “What?”

“Go clean up the crap.”

The two followed his gesturing hand and stared at the egg coating the window. Fran wrinkled his nose and Belphegor scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why can’t one of the others do it?”

“I didn’t ask for them, did I?”

“Well, then make the Frog do it by himself. I don’t do work.”

“Too effing bad.” Xanxus narrowed his crimson eyes and pointed the neck of his bottle threateningly at his two charges. “I gave you an order. You damn well better follow it.”

The looks he received in return were that of two children who clearly did not want to do what their parent was telling them, but were resigned because they knew the consequences of disobedience. With a snarky, grumbled remark from Fran and a furious glower from Belphegor, the two shuffled off to complete the task they were given.

Xanxus lowered back into his high-backed velvet chair, closing his eyes and taking a long swig of vodka. “I effing hate Halloween.”

here’s a full body picture of blattodeus my dad took this morning before i got in the car. just the king of the cockroaches enjoying a crisp blue morning with a glass of water and wearing really dumb shoes. (i have zero skill in craftsmanship and this was made in half a week and also the character is meant to be a really dumpy lame superhero anyway)

6

🍮🍦Karamel  Appreciation Week💫✨

Day 1: The moment you shipped Karamel

First of let’s ignore my first lame attempt at a gifset, without photoshop, but this is what you get when it stops working. Ugh! But I wasn’t going to let that bring me down because we have to celebrate our space puppies!

You must know that when Supergirl aired in 2015 I was thinking about watching but I wasn’t into any DC shows, not The Flash, not Arrow. I thought Supergirl would be one of those lame superhero shows, like Superman Returns but the TV edition. (To be fair I wasn’t so far off considering CBS dropped the show and the CW picked it up). But when Chris was announced as a series regular I was like; I NEED TO WATCH THIS.

I’ve been a fan of Chris ever since he appeared on TVD, as my favorite homicidal maniac; Malachai ‘Kai’ Parker🔪💉, (may he be laying on a sunny beach 🌞 🌴somewhere in his new prison world with lots of pork rinds). So anyways, I binged watched S1 of Supergirl in like a week and then S2 rolled along, I didn’t really care about the show that much or them being together, even after they kissed. I just wanted to see Chris again after Kai was killed off TVD.

But this scene👆👆👆changed everything. I mean first off he appeared outside her door holding club soda, then they sat to the couch and they started smiling at one another like fools after Mon told Kara he wanted to be a superhero. Then Kara gave him the comic book and the way Chris laughed it reminded me of my baby Kai 😭(excuse my nostalgic ass). The way Kara looked at him in the fifth gif also reminded me SO much of the way Lydia was eyeing Parrish in TW (that’s another tragic ship/story of mine for another time). 

Now I’m Karamel trash and the rest is history.

Oh, sure! Sure! Big mean scientist should never do anything with risk! Even if could reap vast benefits and end large amount of suffering! Should not find way to understand cell development and degradation! Much too scary! Just pat little rabbits on the head and never think about death! It works so well! Everyone does just fine! Just keep delaying anti-radiation medication, put the funding somewhere else! Who needs it?!

~Alexander Hilbert, Wolf 359 ep. 25  “LAME-O SUPERHERO ORIGIN STORY”