lame person here

Happy one year anniversary you wiener winner award for most typo message B )) !!

@scivious / @scivilian 

I’m turning 20 in 5 days and I was thinking about it… this is the first birthday I’ve had that hasn’t made me nervous ?? For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt younger than I’m turning, and it’s made me anxious, like, I wasn’t keeping up with where I should’ve been. I have felt like I was stuck at 17 for the past 2 years but suddenly 20 feels normal and exciting. I have always feared growing older and I don’t know what changed… but I’m turning 20 and I thought I’d be afraid without the fallback/excuse of teenage naivety, but I’m not ? How strange and relieving.

What's your lame superpower?

My husband and his buddies came up with a theory that everyone has some sort of superpower, even if it’s lame. For example, when one guy goes to a restaurant it’s always somebody’s birthday so the staff sings a lame song. My mother-in-law always wins money in Vegas. I always manage to spill food on my shirt somehow. Ignore the post hoc fallacy and tell me what your superpower is.

I already know you don’t look at me the way I do you,
or maybe you do you just don’t tell me because you want to keep me to yourself.
But you know if you do
that terrifies me
because what if you stop, ya know?
Like what if my smile doesn’t make you smile anymore,
Or what if my kisses stop making you excited,
Or oh god
what if you stop loving me.
That’s terrifying and I don’t know what to do
—  The mortality of it all

She never hesitated. Few people know what Shaw’s been through. And I worry sometimes she forgets: there’s a whole bunch of people who lose sleep over her getting back home. Maybe it doesn’t need to be said. Maybe we’re too dumb to say it.

Soldiers like her are rare. Women like Shaw… even more rare.

fangirl means waiting for hours and hours outside the venue on a school day in summer weather, your skin on the pavement, your bones like jelly because you woke up at four in the morning with buzzing in your ears. fangirl means the first person in line passing out water bottles to the people who forgot, and the water is lukewarm but you don’t care. fangirl means that feeling when you’re clutching the bars at barricade and your whole body feels like it’s vibrating, your teeth grinding, your cheeks full of color, and the soles of your feet aching. fangirl means that feeling when the lights go down and the elevator music fades, and the cacophony of screams and whistles and laughter fills your ears, and you realize maybe not at that exact moment, but later: you don’t feel sad anymore. you can’t remember the last time you felt sad.

fangirl means your voice cracking and every word stuck in your throat, but you sing along anyway, and the bottom of your feet feel like they’re on fire but your brain won’t make enough space to remember it. fangirl means happiness. it means forgetting what it means to hate, what it means to feel tired, forgetting that there was ever a time you didn’t want to exist. it means the buzzing in your bones and the red in your cheeks when you turn and walk away, your feet dragging, your whole body aching like it’s never ached before, but that lightness in your stomach and the clouds in your brain. you’re not sad anymore. you’re not sad anymore.

and someone will ask you one day what it means, but they won’t be playing nice, their words will be dripping with derision when they look at you, look down at you, and he will say, “you’re just a fangirl.”

and you smile. and you laugh. and you remember the lightness and the clouds and the music, always the music. that’s what it means, you want to say. it means living. it means feeling. it means passion and dedication and no negative connotation of the word will ever make you change your mind.

so you say, “yes.”

because you are. 

and you’re not sad anymore.

happy new year - calum blurb

For @featuringluke and @alreadymissings holiday!5sos blurb night!

Word Count: 875

Summary: You and Calum decide to stay in for New Year’s Eve and watch the ball drop from your New York City hotel room.

You were accustomed to spending your nights with Calum buried between the sheets in strange hotel rooms. It was routine. He traveled the world and played his music for millions of adoring fans while you stayed at home and worked your day job, missing him so much that it ached your bones. But the times where you finally found the freedom to fly out and visit him meant following his band around to soundchecks, watching their live shows, and using his days off to stay in bed with him for eight hours straight. The moments together were so much more valuable, so much more meaningful.

Which was why the two of you had opted out of going to a crowded nightclub for New Year’s Eve. The same old agenda of going out and getting intoxicated didn’t entirely appeal to the two of you as much as it had used to. You didn’t see Calum as often, didn’t get the quiet alone time that a relationship actually needed to flourish. So you weren’t going to disagree with him when he asked you if you just wanted to have dinner at the hotel and then head back up to your suite instead. In fact, you loved the idea.

Calum had his eyes glued on you the entire meal, on the way your dress shimmered in the dim lighting and the way you had done yourself up to perfection. He had that light, familiar smile gracing his full lips, the deep red of them contrasting against the brown of his skin. With your hand resting in his, stretched out across the table, you decided that you wouldn’t have wanted to spend New Year’s Eve any other way.

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Dear future girlfriend

 Maybe you’re in my life, or maybe not. But I sure know that I will do anything in my power to make you happy. You’ll be the only one I see, and the only one I love. I can’t promise you I won’t hurt you, because I probably will. And you’ll hurt me too, because that’s what people do. But I’m sure that our love will only expand by everything we conquer. I want to share my life with you, but I will always let you have a part where you can be alone and have time with your friends and family. We will travel wherever you want; I want to see the world through your eyes. I crave every side of you, your dark sides and all your flaws. I want to knock down your barriers and experience what’s inside. Then I’ll know what I have found. Not only a beautiful girl; but you’re smart, charming, adorable and loving. Your heart warms me, and I want to keep it warm. I know it’s scary, but I will always wait for you. This won’t be easy, but I’m in love with you and I love you. Remember that. 

Wow, holy cow, 4000 followers? That’s amazing! Thank you to everyone who decided to follow me; you guys make being on tumblr a wonderful experience for me! This isn’t much, but I just want to say thank you in this post to all of my favorite blogs that I follow and to all of the people who I do not follow back. No matter if we’re mutuals or not, you guys make my time on tumblr fun, exciting, and a rewarding place to be. I’ve never felt so comfortable around people ever before and I appreciate everything that many of you have done for me. Really, thank you all so much. 

# to J

4thminato // aburamee // anabella-ballerina // angus000 // aroranger // asane16 // blindshisui // blowjobitoo // bonjourhime // bpdzoro // br-ook // byakomaru // chid0ris // clutteredhailey // corazun // datiek // dattebae // dehku // doucheflamingo // eerennjaeger // enygmass // feelingsstahpkakashi // fightmesasuke // florehiem // fluffysenju // gaaraism // gato-iberico // gatsugaa // geiijutsu // ghibil // gihtoki // hadesunderpants // harunomaya // harunos-ass // harunosakuras // hashimada // hashirinnegan // hatakaes // hitzugi // hobok // hokages // hyakugo // hylianhick // inner-sakura // instagram-naruto // itachi-bruh-chan // itachi-chan // itachi-vchiha // itachim // itachis-illusion // itadattebane // itsumis // iwaizumih // j-a-s-u // jessi-mini // jiikens // jiraiyathehokage // 

– K to P

kagays // kakahsi // kakashigai // kathaeros // ki-shi // kiku-pyon // killuaofficial // kimimarro // kintokie // kizeking // konaans // korinku // kurood // kushinna // kuuudere // kyuubiism // lavakage // lawtrafalgars // lellaria // liolf // lndras // lordofwinter // loveomeral // lpilz // madaras-guitar // madarbae // mahayana-na // masamooseay // minatochondria // my-friends-call-me-japan // mynarutobsession // n-azgul // narootos // naruchankavaii // narutardedly // narutoffee // narutotoes // narutotoro // nejilicious // noiitamina // norui // noud-sa // ohirime // ohkakashi // oikawh // ootsutsukies // perceocrity // primadonnaroy // princenine // princetwelve //

– R to Y

radsasuke // raikis // raisengan // rinnegay // ryoshimahara // s-h-i-k-a-d-o-w // sabakunohidan // sakatashit // sakulicious // sassyino // sasu-butt // sasu-que // sasughei // sasukev // sasuku // sasusaku-narusaku // senju-swag // sexgetsu // shadowstars // shikamahru // shintaroughdick // shisuicune // shisuivevo // slimshadysasuke // soskey // springtime-of-youth // starsinjapan // suilpar // swag-kura // tearn7 // temariiz // ten-no-hoshi // testurou // the-hidden-will // trifoil // uchiha-kagami // uchiha-shisuis // uchihasurvivor // uneglosette // uzoomaki // uzumakiichi // vclgin // versaceitachi // wiinglet // xamiboy // yahiikos // youkaikeira // yukinugget

And a special thank you to all of the blogs that I don’t follow back, I’m sorry for not doing so, but I appreciate every like, reblog, message, and comment you leave me. You all are very special to me!  ♥‿♥

I started to wonder, as I bathed a sachet of tea in a mug I stole from your house, if all I’ll ever mean to you is what I took away. If my place in your life, my puzzle piece in the Greater You, ends up as only a missing piece. Negative space. I just worry that I’m the appliqued letter on your favorite sweatshirt that one day wears away. Or the childish “y” at the end of your single syllable name, discarded with age for seriousness. That absence to prove that I took from you and then left it that way. Each evening when you tell me about the triumphs of your day, are your words catching in my hair only to later on be washed down the drain? Will you cut out my embroidered “love” on your heart?

When my tea finally dyed the water it was in, I sent out a prayer that I won’t just be a passion colored bruise left to fade on your skin. I hope that I don’t leave as A Waste of Your Time, who’s lips can not touch yours— only the ceramic of a mug you’ve left behind.

—  Negative Space - Chloe Allyn