I’m low key sad and need a bit of a pick me up, it’s nothing serious my current sadness just my disorder screwing with me. I was going to ask for jokes but I kinda wondered what the FF15 cast would toss out for lame, corny jokes/puns would toss out. So they range from puns, clean, dirty, sarcastic and dad jokes.
Things Said In My Household but with Fairy Tail Pt.8
<b></b> *There Was A Time where Natsu and Gray got in a fight*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> So you stay on your side of the house and I stay on mine.<p/><b>Gray:</b> How come you got the kitchen!!?<p/><b>Natsu:</b> YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL I LET YOU KEEP THE TREEHOUSE.<p/><b>Gray:</b> WHAT IF IM HUNGRY?<p/><b>Natsu:</b> HOPE BEDSHEETS AND TREE BARK TASTES GOOD.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Wendy:</b> WHEN I WAS, A YOUNG BOY--<p/><b>Gray:</b> You were a boy?<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> *Weeee! Flash from the past!*<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *hands covered in wet paint* Natsu can you lift me up so i can wash me hands?<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *half asleep* um..oka...<p/><b></b> *5 minutes later*<p/><b>Wendy:</b> Natsu..*nudges him but he doesnt budge*<p/><b></b> *frowns and wipes her hands on Natsu's face, shirt, and hair* There.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *screaming in the bathroom* WENDY WHAT DID YOU DO?!<p/><b>Wendy:</b> * Is 6*i have an excuse. Im a tempered short person.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> *So once Natsu, lucy, Gray, Juvia, gajeel and levy went to the fair.They had to bring wendy too*<p/><b>Wendy:</b> I WANNA GO ON THE BIG ROLLERCOASTER!! *excited squeal*<p/><b>Lucy:</b> sounds fun! You up to it Natsu?<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *looks up and turns pale* why dont we just go on the carousel?<p/><b>Wendy:</b> That's lame!<p/><b>Lucy:</b> *laughing*<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *whispers* if you do ill get you a teddy bear.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> I WANNA GO ON THE CAROUSEL.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> We gotta give the kid what she wants.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> I CALL THE SEA HORSE!<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *sees a bee* *lowkey her eyes were sparkling* i wanna touch it..*reaches for bee*<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> *pulls her back by the shirt* dont touch it.<p/><b>Levy:</b> Ahh! Arent they just exciting! *starts rambling to Wendy about bees*<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *forced smile and whispers* what is she talking about?<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> *On rollercoaster with Gray and Juvia*<p/><b>Juvia:</b> *excited squeal*<p/><b>Gray:</b> this is..pretty high up..<p/><b>Wendy:</b> COME ON DROP US TO OUR DOOM.<p/><b>Gray:</b> @-@<p/><b></b> *rollercoaster starts dropping*<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *laughing*<p/><b>Juvia:</b> *excited screaming*<p/><b>Gray:</b> *on the verge of passing out*<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Wendy:</b> Let's go again!<p/><b>Gray:</b> nO.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Cobra:</b> Im bringing sexyback!<p/><b>Natsu:</b> I never left.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b></b> * wendy gets lost in a mall*<p/><b>Wendy:</b> okay.. okay..where would those idiots be..<p/><b>Wendy:</b> ..hot topic, spencers...no..that would be me...shoes...no..<p/><b>Wendy:</b> THE FOOD COURT!<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *comes home sighing*<p/><b>Gray:</b> WE HEARD WHAT HAPPENED.<p/><b>Natsu:</b> HOW'D YOU GET SUSPENDED?<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> THIS PROVES SHE REALLY IS OUR SISTER.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> all i did was push somebody across the classroom. I only did it because he was being rude to my friend. He cried like a little bit---<p/><b>Natsu:</b> *shakes her and wipes tear* in so proud.<p/><b>Gray:</b> YOU CAN HAVE MY POPTART.<p/><b>Gajeel:</b> anything you want you'll have it!!<p/><b></b> __<p/><b>Erza:</b> heard you pushed someone.<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *ready for punishment* yeah..<p/><b>Erza:</b> Did you win?<p/><b>Wendy:</b> I guess?<p/><b>Erza:</b> good because then i would have beaten the crap out of you and then the kid.<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b>Wendy:</b> *screaming*<p/><b>Gray:</b> *trips over a pillow and runs down stairs* WHAT HAPPENED!!??<p/><b>Wendy:</b> THEY FINALLY KISSED!!<p/><b>Gray:</b> ....<p/><b></b> ___<p/><b><strike></b> will there be a pt.9? I dont know you tell me </strike><p/></p>
“People who live in society have learnt how to see themselves, in mirrors, as they appear to their friends. I have no friends: is that why my flesh is so naked?“ ― Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea.
Of course, Natsu is the only one who is stupid enough to pull a one-night stand with his fiancée, who he doesn’t know is his fiancée.
Double the Sin
Thinking Out Loud
Hot, heavy, opened mouthed kisses.
Her scent intoxicated him, vanilla flooding his nostrils.
She placed light butterfly kisses along his jawline as she straddled his waist.
One night stands weren’t his forte.
However-"Gah!” He groaned tossing his head back, when the vixen of a woman decided to ground her hips onto his.
“Oh,” she sang sexily, “I like that sound.”
Her small hands unbuttoning his white dress shirt. Sliding her delicate hands under the fabric to appreciate the fine, hard lines his body had. “Mm, so you don’t just have a pretty face.” She whispered hotly in his ear. “I like.” Her nails scratched down his abs, making him hiss in pleasure.
This woman was driving him insane, her breath lingering with wine and mint. Her kisses tempting him to just go and take control.
She pulled away, chocolate orbs staring into his bottomless green ones. Gods, she was beautiful. Her long blonde hair, that was in a classy bun not too long away, cascaded down her shoulders messily.
That sinfully short, black dressed teased him as it bunched around her thighs showing off her creamy long legs. The blonde noticed something, pressing a chaste kiss on his thin lips. “Whatcha thinking about?” She whispered.
He caught her lower lip, nibbling on it gently. “You.” He replied quickly.
She raised a perfect brow, adjusting herself to lie on his stomach. Face close, and plump, red lips mere millimeters away from his. “Good.” she moaned, kissing his nose, “I was thinking about you too.”
The temptress buried her face in the crook of his neck, sucking, kissing and biting. Gods, she was a vixen. It was like she knew what he liked.
“Oh?” He breathed heavily, “What about me?”
Kissing up to his ear, she nibbled on it gently, “Just you-” she paused, pulling away. The man groaned from the lost of her lips. But seeing her straddling his hips, hair in a mess, and that sexy smirk tugging on her lips. “…And your pink hair.”
“It’s salmon, dammit-” she cut him off kissing him fully. Her kisses were full of passion, and very hot. Her tongue wiped at the sea of his lips, begging for entrance which he allowed. Her hands that were fisting his open shirt were now tangled in his messy locks.
The pink-haired man pulled away, which wasn’t very far, to stare at the beautiful girl above him. “You never told me your name.” he stated.
She nipped at his lower lip, emitting a low growl from the man under her. “Does that even matter?”
“Of course it matters,” he grunted nipping right back, “I need to know the name of the girl who is driving me insane.”
She smiled sexily, leaning closer to his ear. “The name’s Lucy.” she breathed hotly.
His jeans were painfully tight.
She grinned widely, rubbing herself on the tent of his pants. “Na-gah! Ah!”
“Na-gah?” she repeated playfully.
“Na-” he took a deep breath, hands gripping her wide hips. “Natsu.”
Lucy’s hands trailed down from his neck and to the top of his pants, fiddling with the belt. “Natsu?” Lucy said trying out his name, having it roll on her tongue.
Natsu now believed hearing her say his name was the sexist sound ever.
“Tell me, Natsu. Have you done something like this before?” Her words laced with everything but innocence.
The blonde pressed herself harder against him. Gods, she was going to kill him.
Natsu’s hands trailed down to the flesh of her ass and squeezed. That gave him the most delicious sound ever, a breathy moan. He rubbed himself against her.
“You-ah! Never answered the question..” She cried out, hands cupping his face and leaning down to kiss him.
She sucked on his tongue, groaning, and savoring the moan he let out. Thick, hot air surrounding them to the point where they couldn’t breathe.
“You’re pretty sexy.” He whispered.
“And you still haven’t answered my question.” She pointed out.
A boyish grin took over his face, “Sex with a stranger? No.”
“So I’m your first.” she teased, before lowering herself, chest to chest. “Good.”
And all the fire that he stored in his body was soon released. No longer was she on top of him.
Instead, he was pinning her down onto the hotel’s mattress.
Hands, running up and down her creamy legs.
“Surrender to me, Luce.”
And she kissed him.
Natsu groaned loudly; however the music had drowned out his voice.
Why was he even at this party? Oh yes, that’s right. His boss made him.
Or should he say his father?
The young adult dressed nicely for the occasion, black slack and a button-down red dress shirt. Oh, he was highly attractive. All the women there made sure he knew that.
Yes the women were pretty, but they were nothing compared to the beautiful blonde.
Once again Natsu groaned, running his hand through his rose-colored locks in frustration.
It’s been weeks. He had left her his number, and she even promised to call. But no. It’s been fucking weeks, and he hasn’t heard anything from her.
As he turned to leave, a large hand slapped the man hard on the back almost knocking him over.
Natsu growled, “Grr! What the hell was that, old man?”
Igneel barked out laughing, “Cheer up boy, you look pathetic.” The older gentleman then thrust a cup in his son’s hand. “Drink!”
As much as Natsu wanted to argue, he did look pretty pathetic. Without hesitation, he downed the liquid not minding the burning sensation in left in his throat.
“Atta boy!” Igneel grinned, flashing his sharp teeth. “You have to look somewhat loose and decent. The Heartfilia family is here.” The man whispered the last part.
Great, the most stuck-up family in the world. Fairytail has heard stories about the Heartfilias. That the owner was cruel and cared about no one except for making money. However, he did marry and had a child. Fairytail knew that his wife died years later, but no one knew about his child.
Not until, about five years ago.
Some expected his child to be a stuck up, heartless snob, and Natsu couldn’t help but believe those rumors.
So when the idea of an arranged marriage was proposed, Natsu immediately tried to shoot that offer down.
But Igneel talked to the man of the Heartfilia household and the idea was taken.
Tonight was the night Natsu would finally meet his stuck up snob of a fiancée.
“Igneel!” A deep voice bellowed to grab the red-head’s attention. Both Dragneels turned to the voice, only to stare into heartless brown eyes. So much for having the word heart in his last name.
Igneel, however smiled, “Ah, Jude. Wonderful to have you join this gathering.” If gathering meant a party with all the biggest companies, then yes, a gathering.
After some awkward silence, Igneel introduced his son. “This is Natsu, future heir of the Fairytail and Dragneel Industries.”
Natsu smiled forcefully, it was more like he was barring his teeth.
“Charming.” Jude mocked emotionlessly.
Natsu opened his mouth to say something, but his father’s hand rested on his shoulder.
“I apologize for my daughter’s lateness. She seems to be around here somewhere.”
As if she had a cue, a beautiful blonde strolled right next to the older man. Bowing slightly, “I am sorry for being so late. I got caught up in a conversation with the owner of Sabertooth.
Jude frowned. "Being late is no excuse.”
“Yes father.” She replied, it was like she had said it a million times before.
The blonde looked up, and her doe brown eyes locked onto bottomless green. Eyes wide, and mouth forming a small o-shape.
Natsu’s eyes were wide as saucers. He couldn’t believe it.
The girl in front of him was the girl from that night.
She was his fiancée?!
“Natsu Dragneel. This is your fiancée.”
Note 1: I-I don’t know how I wrote this considering I am the complete virgin of all my friends. The only time I have kissed or held hands with someone was in truth or dare in 8th grade.
This is just something new considering I have yet to update For Keeps.
Person A of your OTP is really embarrased to say ‘I love you’ to person B. So when they are watching a movie together, that person A picked, they cuddle on the couch and eating popcorn. When it comes to a special point, person A is turning his head to person B, which is clearly confused, and turning the volume really loud. Then in the TV, the Girl says to the Boy ‘I love you’ and person A is moving his lips quiet sync. At first person B is pretty confused, before his eyes widend and he replies very loud ‘I love you too!!!’ and hugs person A thightly.
concept: to respect lauren and who she chooses to date. to respect lucy and to have the decency to treat her like an actual human being. to respect their relationship (whether it’s real or not) because they have feelings, despite being famous (yeah, shocker, celebrities have feelings too, who would’ve guessed?). to not shit on their relationship / friendship because it interferes with your ship? i mean for fuck’s sake, your otp barely interacts, OBVIOUSLY IT’S MORE REAL THAN THESE TWO (hint hint, this is sarcasm). no need to shame lucy to prove that “camila is better for her”. no need to comment “camren is real” on every one of their posts, especially those of the two of them together. like jesus christ, they’re happy, why not fucking respect them since one of them is your so-called idol??
A fanfic exchange with @alphaweeb. I don’t think this is exactly what you asked for and Prompto is probably OOC. I tried my best. Hope you enjoy it.
Prompto x reader, SFW
A loner, hunter, avid fisher. You learned to survive on your own through hunts and by learning how to fish. You found yourself getting up before the sun to wet a line. Many nights were spent eating fresh trout around the campfire with other hunters.
You had one goal: To capture a giant Murk Grouper named the “Devil of the Cygillan”, one of the toughest fish to catch.
You were meant to catch this fish. You could feel it in your bones. Today was the day!
Feeling lucky, you decided to head down to the local fishing hole, where the devil was rumored to be. Everything was in place. The weather was just right, cloudy and cool, but no strong winds. With your lucky fishing supplies and lucky pole in hand, you took a few moments to survey the area.
The water was calm, the cool air was crisp, an excellent day for fishing. In the distance, you could see other locals had the same idea. A familiar gentlemen and his grandson at the opposite side, before beginning your normal routine, you took a moment to offer a warm smile and greeting to the family. However, you were interrupted by a loud shout and ruckus from your right.
You noticed a group of young men. The man with raven colored hair let out a victory shout, “Hey! Looks like I landed a dream.”
A tall, muscular shirtless man had jumped into the water. Shortly after, a lean man with glasses was in the water by a smaller blonde man. The blonde man was kicked into the water by the raven haired man.
“Gladio, get ready!” shouted the raven haired man.
The tall, muscular man retorted, “I’m on it.”
Your fists clenched and eyes squinted as large olive object came into your vision.
Devil of the Cygillan.
For so long, you tried your best to catch the massive grouper, but had no luck. These four men would waltz up to the water and snatch the beast right before you.
The other three men quickly huddled around the larger man as he held the fish. Your fish.
An exasperated sigh left your lips as your feet carried you over to their location. The muscular man, who the raven haired man deemed as “Gladio”, was in the process of carrying your fish back to land, as the others followed behind him.
Once the fish was on land, the two taller men walked in direction of the parking lot, leaving the smaller two to examine the fish.
Noctis commented, “We should head back to Navyth for our reward.”
“Not without a picture first!” Prompto exclaimed as he fiddled with his camera. “Come on, let me get this sh- uh oh!” The blonde man was unable to finish his comment as he noticed you starting to stride up behind Noctis.
“What the crap!” You shouted, as a loud groan escaped your throat. “I’ve been trying to catch that thing for weeks! You come out of no where and catch him with no effort! Was this your first attempt?“
The men started at you with wide eyes as your rant continued.
“Uhh.. yeah, I guess so?” questioned the raven haired man.
“I have been coming here every week to catch Devil of the Cygillan and y-you catch it on your first try!”
Prompto snickered, “Devil of the Cygillan? Nice name.”
“I guess it wasn’t mean to be.” You let out a loud sigh and in that you examined the two bodies in front of you. At least they were easy on the eyes, especially the blonde.
“Excuse me?” asked the blonde man.
Your gaze dropped to the ground as you stated, “The fish. I was supposed to be the one to catch it.”
The two men stood in silence, before the blonde man extended his hand and offered you a lively smile. “Well, the fish may not have been, but maybe you were meant to meet someone instead. I’m Prompto, it’s nice to meet you.”
Summary : Lucy was a 24 years old lone survivor, in her path of survival and escaping death , she stumbled across The Saviors who took her to The Sanctuary, where she found shelter and food. But what she didn’t know was that the girl who always hated and bullied her at school, is one of Negan’s wives (Frankie ) and is about to turn her life into a living hell all over again!
Pairings : Negan x Lucy
Type : slowburn
Warnings : language- Negan being an asshole- violence
Supercorp is lovely and all but *slips you a $20* can we get some Superlane head canons? Maybe you'll inspire someone to write something
these are really stupid, i’m sorry but here-
their bed is always a mess
which you wouldn’t expect because lucy was raised for her bed to be neat, corner folded
something about flipping a quarter on it. kara doesn’t really understand why humans do the things they do
lucy’s pretty tired of neatness and inside the lines and you have to think about how it’ll reflect on me lucy by the time she’s a teenager
but she tried to keep it organized at first and it just?? doesn’t work
she gets hot pretty easy but yknow everyone likes falling asleep with the covers over them but sometime through the night it just gets so uncomfortable so she pushes it off
and of course the furnace she calls a girlfriend kicks off all the covers too
actually it’s a little ridiculous, because sometimes they’ll end up shoving blankets back and forth on each other
lucy wonders if it’s wrong to want to punch your girlfriend even if you know it won’t hurt her
so every morning they wake up and the covers are all twisted, strewn across the floor
kara trips over them when she tries to go make early morning rescues
lucy laughs. so hard
with lucy running the other branch of the deo, they don’t get to see each as much at work
kara likes to drop off food for her though
it’s so sweet. lucy will come to her office and a bag will be on her desk with little sticky notes
kara forgets to say everything on one so they literally liter lucy’s office, and lucy loves it because she can see exactly where kara went and what she was thinking as she hastily scribbled down another i love you
sometimes there’s flowers too??
lucy loves them
one agent made a joke about them. he had to pick himself off the floor after lucy deemed an “emergency training session” was needed
lucy makes sure to pick some flowers up on the way home
she’d put some in kara’s office but there’s something about watching kara watering the plants and humming to herself
that something is love. lucy is a sap but doesn’t realize it
lucy gets the scientists’ help to build kara a more sturdy pen
she doesn’t understand how kara got the habit of chewing on pens?? because wouldn’t they have all broken immediately?? but she does, and lucy doesn’t want kara walking around with ink stains all over her
the scientists are confused
“ma'am you know this isn’t actually our jobs?”
“it is today”
kara sends everyone pictures of it, it’s so dumb but she’s so proud of it
they go and visit lois and clark
the first time is awkward
they go to metropolis for dinner and it’s just silent, silverware clicking against their plates
lucy doesn’t really know what to say, and it’s so hard not to get frustrated at lois, at herself
she doesn’t realize lois and her have stopped eating until kara and clark both lean over to them and ask if they’re going to finish that
lois just groans. “she does that too huh”
it’s a little easier after that. not so hard to breathe and she could kiss kara for that, for getting her to try this
she does. many times
they try to have dinner once a month now
as nice as dinners and game nights are, the nights where it’s just them are the best
kara orders way too much food, i mean, even too much for kara
lucy will set up with all her work on the couch while kara paints and it’s just. nice and quiet
lucy got used to quiet after her mother died. after lois left and her father was too uncomfortable to be in a room alone with her, staring at ghosts that weren’t there
you look like mom lois tells her one night, alcohol heavy on her breath and sometimes she wishes lois never told her that while other times, she clings to the thought
but this quiet? it’s weighted, but a familiar one that wraps around her shoulders, a comfortable presence just behind her ribs
lucy can’t help it if she ends up distracting kara
kara always forgets to wash her hands once she’s done
she uses a brush, but paint always manages to coat her hands, color her fingertips
it’s such a wonderful image, kara colorful and thoughtful, and lucy just taps at kara’s shoulder and kisses her
so when fingers slip through her hair, they maybe leave some red and blue and green in it
lucy sighs when an agent asks her the next morning why is paint in her hair
kara laughs when she tells her. eyes soft and smile tender when she looks at her and says a masterpiece
it’s so dumb and lame and lucy punches kara in the arm because she most definitely is not tearing up at something that corny