reminiscent-me-deactivated20121  asked:

Know that with meeting whomever you are tomorrow, we will all have your back if things turn ugly or too perfect to the point of unrealistics/ our fears. I feel a bit out there for speaking for everyone, but if things turn for the worse, you can bet they will answer to me. Dead. Fucking. Serious. It'll get gruesome if things go bad. Brother bear don't fuck around with people who do bad things to my Luna. Love you! :P

Thank you love, I will keep that in mind. I’m glad to have you guys behind me but I’m hoping that doesn’t need to happen…Love you too, And as requested (Answered Publicly)

Sometimes, my friends piss me off.

I’m sorry..

Actually, I’m not.

This is my house, not yours. It may not be perfect and its far from spotless but it’s my house. This means that I take care of it, I mind if it looks like shit. Especially if it’s not my shit.

What happened tonight was just plain disrespectful. I let people come over pretty much whenever they want, let them do what they want, use my tv/oven/hookah/computer and where does this get me? It gets me giant spit wads all over my living room after I’ve repeatedly asked for it to stop. Other people may have found it funny, but I didn’t. If I would have done that at anyone’s house they would have plenty of grounds to be pissed too. I don’t want someone’s saliva filled cotton balls stuck to my ceiling, is that so much to ask? Why did I have to keep saying to stop over and over and over again? Is it really that hard of a concept to get? It was very clear that I was getting annoyed by the situation but no. This proceeded to happen another 3-5 times. I haven’t had a good day, it got better when I met up with my friends but now I’m just not in a good mood.

Whatever, maybe I just shouldn’t let people hang out at my house anymore…

I feel... disconnected..

Maybe it’s just an attitude I have but I don’t know.. I feel like I have changed, and maybe not in a good way. I honestly don’t want to leave the house at midnight, just to start my day. I actually like going to bed before the sun threatens to rise and I like getting up before the crack of noon. I want to go out and too things like meet people and go to the gym. I want to get my homework done when I get it, not rush to finish at the last second… I think I may have contracted… maturity. I don’t know how and I don’t know where but it’s there, slowly consuming my life. I can honestly say I would rather spend a Sunday night, sitting at home watching a movie than being out until four driving around..

I’m pretty sure my friends have noticed this change too.. I’m often left to wonder what’s going on and often left out if I don’t make a serious effort to force myself into plans. While my friends are off buying candy at another one of our midnight Wal-mart trips, I was more concerned about making sure I got toilet paper and paper plates. I don’t disrespect any of my friends nor do I believe what they’re doing is wrong, I just do things differently now.. I don’t want to but it happens.

I guess I’ll just have to see where it goes from here. I sincerely hope this doesn’t mean I’m drifting or they are drifting away from me because I really only have a few close friends.. everyone else is just.. there.

I hate when I get disappointed and then people make me feel like its my fault. It makes me sad, it makes me not want to put myself out there the next time, it makes me want to just step back and see if people in my life are here to stay or if they will fade away just like the rest.. I really don’t want to lose you but it’s not my decision what you do. As you’ve said, I don’t own you, you can do whatever you want, I just hope what you want is me.