lallaal

hmph, decided to vent alittle on here.

Well most of you already know I have moved to the Philippines for 4 years to start college here as early as the age of 16 which is my current age, because in the Philippines you start college as early as the age I am now, but I have been feeling really lonely. I haven’t started college yet because next week is when I fully start to apply for all of the college’s I would like to get into, and it depends on which college I get accepted into, but for some reason I have been feeling very home sick. Even though, now, this is my current home. My real home is in America. In New York, where I was born and raised. I’ve been feeling very left out here, and the only people that I can talk to, are my brothers which are twice my age. They are 20+ years old & their little kids are barley even in their teenage years yet, so I have no one to really vent to. Call up. Text. Nothing. My boyfriend and best friends are all in the states, and I literally have not even a single friend here yet. I know I’ll make some new ones once I hit college, but I’m afraid of what the outcome will be. I’ll be attending college when it hits 3rd semester there, and I wonder what everyone’s going to think. Why did she start so late? Who is she? Is she new? There are so many questions going through my head and it stresses me out, like will I make any friends? will it be easy to find good friends here like how it is in the states? I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I belong here. I’ll be so happy once I finish college and move back to the states at the age of 20. I just have to keep on reminding myself its only 4 years. 4 years till I’m back to my home country, my home town, to my best friends, and my boyfriend/future husband to be. All I ever wanted to do since I got here is go home, but you know what, I have a whole future ahead of me, and without taking risks I won’t ever learn or see what the outcome will be. Whether positive or negative, I have to be strong. I have to go through this. For the better, for myself, in order to grow up. I just need to tell myself that I got this. I can do this.