03 Mar 2002: Shaquille O’‘Neal #34 of the Los Angeles Lakers wearing the jersey of Kobe Bryant #8 before the game at Staples Center in Los Angeles, California. The Lakers won 95-79. DIGITAL IMAGE. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory copyright notice: Copyright 2002 NBAE \ Mandatory Credit: Catherine Steenkeste/NBAE/Getty Images
*********************************** As we entered his apartment I was pinned against the door, Harry’s hands on my waist, his lips on mine, kissing me gently; and things soon got heated. He broke our kiss and moved his lips onto my neck, starting to kiss and nibble a little. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. “I want you so bad…”-he whispered in my ear, his voice low, raspy, slow like always. After that he kissed me again, his perfect, soft lips felt so good on red-lipstick-covered mine. I started feeling quite nervous, anxious, scared….my self esteem issues getting the best of me.
I wasn’t a virgin, but I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I never was particularly confident but I trusted Harry and my old self wouldn’t have a problem giving myself to him tonight, after 4 months of dating and 4 years of being good friends.
But me now, I feel like I’m damaged. I still hear his words, telling me I’m worthless, that I should lose weight; apply more makeup to cover my ugly face so I could look decent, to learn how to dress because my outfits are not ‘in’…All the kind words the guy I lost my virginity to said to me. As soon as he got what he wanted, he showed his true face, his true nature. His true colors. I lost my virginity in the back seat of the car, not the most romantic situation; but then it didn’t really matter to me. I thought he loved me, and I loved him. I thought we were meant to be, that we were made for each other.
“What’s wrong baby?”- he said noticing that I was acting strange. I looked away, I couldn’t look him in the eyes, I was avoiding his glare as much as I could. “Rachel love, are you okay?”- he repeated because I didn’t answer. I looked down to the floor and I mumbled a quick “yes, I’m okay.”
“I know when you’re lying babe. I know something’s wrong.” His lifted my chin with his two fingers, making me look at him. My eyes were watery, and he frowned at the sight me. He quickly hugged me tightly and I started crying. He carried me to the sofa in his living room. He held me in his arms, calming me by rubbing tender circles on my back. I completely soaked his white button up shirt.
“I’m sorry” I said quietly, “I completely soaked your shirt…”
“Don’t be ridiculous babe, like I care about a shirt…..”-he calmly said.
“Tell me, what’s going on, why are you crying?”-he asked me worriedly. But I didn’t answer. I was ashamed of my outburst.
“It’s stupid…it’s nothing, just my regular foolishness. Me being idiotic.”
“Don’t talk like that, you’re not being idiotic. I can’t stand it when you put yourself down like that. There’s no reason for that babe. Why are you like that? Can’t you see how beautiful you are? How smart you are”
“I-I….”-I couldn’t finish the sentence; I was embarrassed by what I was supposed to tell him.
“Come on love, trust me. I’m here for you. Always.”-he exclaimed, while looking me straight in the eyes, whipping away my tears. I never believed someone’s words that much. I never trusted a person that much. I never loved someone this much. No one, ever, showed so much affection towards me before. And I told him. I told him everything. About my ex, about my first time, how he treated me, how he took every opportunity he could to put me down, to humiliate me, how he cheated on me numerous times, after he got what he wanted. How one night he forced me into something I didn’t want to. The night I told him I wanted to break up with him, how I wasn’t gonna be put down, how I’m not gonna be treated like that. I told Harry what were the words he said to me that night, how he told me he’s gonna give me something to remember him by. To never, ever forget him. Never. How when I opposed he said he liked when I was feisty. I told him something no one knew about. The night I was abused by the one I trusted, the one I thought loved me. He cried with me. Holding me tight, not wanting to let go. He said that he would never do something like that to me. I knew he wouldn’t. He was filled with worry, hurt, anger. “If I ever see that guy he better run for his life.”-he said, his eyes dark.
We fell asleep on the couch, tangled. Me on top of him, his arms securely wrapped around my waist. That was the most peaceful I’ve been in my life. ___________________ I woke up in his bedroom. He must’ve carried me in here, after I fall asleep last night. But he wasn’t in bed. So I got up to look for him. I was still in clothes I wore on our date last night. I found him in the kitchen, drinking coffee.
“Good morning beautiful”-he cheered-“want a cop o coffee?”
“Morning babe.” I said, coming closer to him to peck his lips. “Mhmm…I’d like a cup.”
I sat on the chair that was opposite of him, and he made a pouty face. “Why so far away, Ray?” I giggled, as he moved to the chair next to mine, so he could be as close as he could at this point. He moved my lags so they were on his lap, making small circles on my thighs, as we talked. He offered me breakfast. I wasn’t really hungry but he wouldn’t let me not eat anything, so I ate some fruit. It was nice just hanging out like this with him. “So I’m going to take a shower Ray.” I just smiled. “Care to join me?” he asked with a grin on his face, which soon faded when I didn’t answer. “It’s okay if you’re not ready love.”-he came to me and held my face in his arms. I moved away, after a few kisses.
“I should get going”
“No, no way! You’re spending the day here.”- he said smiling at his own words.
“I have no clothes and I need to change, I need to take a shower, and…”
“You can shower here. And clothes? You can wear my shirt.”
“And what about some pants?”
“You don’t need that, I don’t mind”, he chuckled as I blushed lightly.
“Harry!”- I said, playfully hitting his arm.
“Okay, okay…”-he laughed. “You can take my LA Lakers jersey, it’s pretty big, so…”
I spent whole day at his place, just relaxing, having good time. It was really lovely. We cooked lunch together, goofed around, and time just flew by. Suddenly it was already night, so we sat on the couch and decided to watch some movie we found on TV. During commercial break we started making out. It was a really hot make out session. His soft lips always felt so good on mine, his hands wrapped around my waist, my hands tangled in his hair, tugging a bit on his curls.
I don’t know what got into me, but I got up and straddled him. I wanted him, I was nervous, but I wanted to show him I trusted him, that I loved him. His hands moved along my sides. I pressed my crotch harder against his, which earned me a groan from him. As he broke the kiss in order to get some air, I looked at him straight in the eyes and said: “Make love to me Harry.” A wide smile appeared on his face, dimples on a full display. He kissed me so hurriedly, hungrily…”You sure, Ray?”-he asked? “I can wait if you’re not comfortable.” He said as he looked down and added “I’m not like him, I won’t…I could never…” I took is face in my hands and kissed him, I just wanted to assure him I wanted to be with him, now. “Positive babe. Now kiss me.”-I said almost desperately. He lifted us from the couch and carried me in his bedroom. “We’ll be more comfortable here love.”
He gently laid me on the bed and hovered above me as he took off his shirt. He started kissing on my neck. I moaned as he found my sweet spot and sucked on it. He removed his jersey I was wearing, and I didn’t feel the need to hide myself, with him I felt so comfortable. It was a feeling I had forgotten long ago. My hands blindly went down to unbuckle his belt. I struggled with his jeans. Did he really had to wear them inside on a ‘relax’ day? He laughed lightly, and said that he’ll take care of that. He stood up to remove his jeans and boxer briefs.
“If he couldn’t I’m gonna give you a proper first time baby.” He said while kissing his way up, from my knees, to the inner parts of my thighs, then up my belly, he kissed in-between my breasts, up my neck, and then he locked them on my lips. He made sure he kissed every part of my body; I could feel his touch everywhere. When we broke the kiss he went the same way down my body, stopping at my breasts swirling his tongue around my nipples, making me moan loudly. I felt his smirk on my skin, as he continued his path further down; until his face was in level with my soaking core. “I need to taste you.”- he said. Soon he entered a finger inside, and after just a few minutes I felt a pit in my stomach. “I-I’m gonna cum babe”-I half said half moaned. He moved his face, but he never stopped pumping his fingers as he said “come babe, I wanna taste you so badly.” With that I came undone.
He moved up as he wiped me clean. “You taste so fucking good baby.” He kissed me lustfully; passionately….I was able to taste myself as his tongue explored my mouth. He reach to his night stand to take a condom. He ripped it open with his teeth, and rolled it on his manhood. He lined himself at my entrance, and looked at me like he was asking for permission. “Harry pleaseee…”-I whined desperately. He slid into me easily due the fact I was soaking. He moved slowly at first but he soon picked up the pace. He moved my legs and I locked them up around his waist. My eyes were shut, my back arched, my hand tangled with his curls, his name in the back of my throat. I never felt so much pleasure, felt so much love, passion, lust, need, desire… He kissed my neck, my face, my lips, occasionally telling me I am beautiful, that I have no reason to hide, that he loves me. I screamed his name as my orgasm ripped through me, a lot of profanities leaving his mouth along with my name as he reached his. He fell on top of me, our bodies sweaty and sticky, both of us fighting for breath. “That was amazing love.”-he panted. “How was it for you?”-he asked. “It was beyond amazing honey.”-I replied. He pulled out, and rolled off of me. He removed the condom and went to through it into the bin.
When he came back he wrapped his hand securely around me, my back pressed against his torso. He left small kisses on my shoulder and neck. “I love you Rachel.” “I love you baby.”-I said as we drifted to sleep. ***************************************************************