lakely

Trying to figure out if you’re ace or aro can be so much harder than other sexualities because it’s like, trying to find the absence of something. Imagine you’re at a pond and you want to know if there are any turtles, or fish. Say you find a turtle and you’re like “great! Now I know there are turtles.” Or a fish, now you know for sure there are fish. Or you find both, and now you know for a fact there are both turtles and fish in the pond.

But like, if you don’t find any turtles it might be that there are no turtles or maybe you’re just really shitty at looking for turtles and maybe you THINK you saw a turtle over there or maybe it was just a stick. Maybe there are only a few turtles. Maybe you need to do something special to find the turtles. Maybe a bunch of these rocks are actually turtles but you couldn’t tell them apart. Maybe there are no turtles. You have no idea. Meanwhile some people are saying “Oh there have to be turtles! You’ll find them eventually ;)” or “How many turtles have you found in your pond?” or “Try planting some vegetables at the shore to attract the turtles.” Or “Oh no! What disaster happened to your pond that there are no turtles?” And you’re just standing there wet with an empty net and a tired expression.

But whatever because whether there are turtles or fish or not your pond’s ecology works just fine without them because that’s what eco-communities do they form a system around what they have. You aren’t missing anything if you don’t have turtles you just have a pond system without turtles. If someone tried to change you by pouring a bunch of turtles into your pond it would probably fuck something up.

So you don’t have to be entirely sure. You don’t have to search every inch of the damn pond before you can decide there are probably no turtles. If you want to take the aro or ace label because you think it fits go for it. And if you do find your turtles you can rename the pond. That’s fine.

He had white horses
And ladies by the score
All dressed in satin
And waiting by the door

Ooh, what a lucky man he was

White lace and feathers
They made up his bed
A gold covered mattress
On which he was laid

He went to fight wars
For his country and his king
Of his honor and his glory
The people would sing

A bullet had found him
His blood ran as he cried
No money could save him
So he laid down and he died

GREG LAKE (King Crimson / Emerson Lake and Palmer)

* 10. November 1947
† 7. Dezember 2016

R.I.P.

photo: © 2016 Hans-Jürgen Sommerfeld, all rights reserved

Snow Lake, Gilgit Baltistan, Pakistan.

Snow Lake, or Lukpe Lawo, is a high-altitude glacial basin in the Karakoram mountain range, located 16,000 feet (4,877 m) above sea level, and is approximately 10 miles (16 km) wide. The basin lies at the head of the Biafo and Hispar glaciers, which spread down from the Hispar Pass in opposite directions, forming a 61 mile (100 km) river of ice that is among the world’s longest continuous glacier systems outside of the polar regions.

(Source)