i’m suddenly finding myself in this place of panic- asphyxiating under the weight of a sense of immense debt, fixating on all the things i owe to other people. i have been consumed by the thought that there is not enough of me to go around.
but i don’t need to be in that place. i am enough, and there will always be enough of me to go around- my mother knew that when she named me.
i am replenishing myself with an affirmation of the things i desire, and forgiving myself for the things i am yet to give.
i desire to build my ability to heal myself by practicing deliberately, persistently, lovingly.
i desire to build my ability to heal my communities by practicing deliberately, persistently, lovingly.
i desire exploration of the depths and expanses of my roots and my possibilities.
i desire knowledge that contextualizes and affirms my existence in the framework of its infinite oldness and its infinite continuity.
i desire remembrance that guides me on trajectories that honor those who came before me.
i desire a heart bubbling over with love that is always coming and going, that is always simultaneously holding and being held, that is always simultaneously being given away and being welcomed in.
i desire the space, knowledge, and time to do the work that heals me.