types of buzzfeed fans

try guys fans: easygoing, advocates for the “zach deserves better” campaign, very loyal to their friends, scream a lot, take a drink whenever ned mentions his wife, either watch every single vlog or don’t (there is no in between)

worth it fans: in it to win it, worship steven, loyal to the original food vids, bookmark the restaurant recommendations, kind of competitive, has their life together

ladylike fans: you think worth it fans worship their star? these guys live for the gals; feminists, support their friends, hot messes, probably work out every so often, ate makeup as a child

unsolved fans: wild, they are the cryptic kids, “hey demons, it’s me, ya boy,” probably have conspiracy boards somewhere, the one place where skeptics and believers live in harmony, got that Forest Aesthetic going on

outsmarted fans: will kill you in an instant, have no soul, they are simultaneously “fuck the police” and “that’s what the government wants you to think,” probably would hire an investigator to investigate another investigator

ned: so. who broke it? i’m. it mad, i just want to know.

zach: … i did. i broke it.

ned: no, no you didn’t. eugene?

eugene: don’t look at me, look at quinta.

quinta: what? i didn’t break it?

eugene: huh, that’s weird. how’d you know that it was broken?

quinta: because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.

eugene: suspicious.

quinta: no it’s not!

keith: if it matters, kelsey was the last one to use it.

kelsey: liar! i don’t even drink that crap!

keith: then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

kelsey: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. everyone knows that!

zach: okay, lets not fight. i broke it. let me pay for it ned.

ned: no! who broke it?

quinta: ned… ashly’s been kind of quiet.

ashly: REALLY?

ned, on interview: i broke it. i burned my hand so i punched it. i predict in ten minutes they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pigs head on a stick. good. it was getting a little chummy around here.