lady ride

just cow chop things
  • shit dude
  • “what up it’s ya boy”
  • any and all problems are solved with fire
  • vaping
  • joe is sweet and perfect and pure
  • mishka interrupts a gameplay
  • treVOR
  • someone is smacked in the balls devastatingly hard
  • someone threatens to throw themselves down the stairs
  • poop
  • poop filling the basement 
  • the video is directed away from chaos so aleks can try and sell merch
  • holes in walls
  • someone vomits
  • Brett Hundley, professional voice of reason™
  • someone makes an asian joke
  • aron responds to said asian joke with “that’s fucked up”
  • “maAAN”
  • james employs his fake southern accent
  • the wheelchair™
  • james repeats something several times
  • trevor does the weed thing
  • shiiiiiiiit
  • close-ups of nothing 
  • joe photoshopping james’s dog’s head onto human female’s bodies so they can get married
  • dog is put where dog should not be
  • “dude, it’s my fUCKING TINY WIENER”
  • ollos
  • james hating the hover board 
  • james using the hover board in every video
  • “this cis straight white male privilege”
  • the old lady with inhaler decal
  • wrestlers
  • aleks riding around on a hover board with a hot pocket: “try this pop tart”
  • brett getting something shoved up his ass and just going “wow”

perc’ahlia lends itself really well to the legend of Tam Lin

  • Young woman is warned by everyone, particularly her noble father, not to go into the dangerous forest
    • “Fuck you,” sayeth she, and go in
  • “What are you doing in my forest?” says a strange man, here with white hair and nerd glasses
    • “You must be that dangerous Tam Lin Percival I’ve heard so much about,” sayeth she. “beloved of a Faerie Queen Lord for your quick wit and clever hands, and known to use the same to draw beautiful maidens to hell.”
    • “I mean it’s more like I sold my sou- um. ah. um.“
    • “Yes?” sayeth she, already stripped to her green garters.
  • Some time later, the not-maiden is found to be pregnant. “Is it one of my knights?” demands her father. “They’ll wed you, if so.” (”Is it one of his fucking knights?” demands her brother, in this version. “I’ll kill them, if so.”)
    • “No, it’s my own true love, Tam Lin Percival,” says Vex, and dramatically runs off b/c she’s got some rescuing to do at a crossroads on midnight of All Hallows Eve
      • “This is a horrible idea,” mutters Vax, stealthing after her.
  • the lords and ladies of the court ride past in ranks, horses black as coal and white as marble, all snorting gun smoke in the fine winter air. Vex leaps forth and seizes Percy down, and holds him per the Faeries’ deal - he turns into a striking snake, slippery and shade, and she holds him. He turns into a screaming raven, wild as death, and she holds him. He turns into a cloud of smoke, burning hot and loose in her grasp - and she holds him, holds him tight, until the smoke fades and he settles back into a naked man, pale and trembling in her arms.
    • “Told you I could do it,” pants the triumphant, the bargain-winner.
    • “Fuck you,” says Orthax.
    • “Fuck off,” say Percy and Vex and Vax simultaneously, and they all move away from the twins’ shitty father and live happily ever after the end.

…and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. “But no living man am I!”

FMA-LotR crossover anyone? :)
Éowyn!Riza, inspired by a conversation with @the-flame-and-hawks-eye