The Bard is from Kirkwall and likely does not realise the cultural significance of most of these songs.
Fereldan Folk Song about How Much I Love Andraste (Andraste is a metaphor for Queen Moira. But like, also, you know, actually Andraste.)
Andraste Had A Dog
Elven Folk Song that’s Basically The Mourner’s Kaddish and probably shouldn’t be sung at a wedding reception (In Uthenera.)
Drinking Song About How I’m totally DTF King Maric and/or Teryn Loghain and/or Queen Rowan and/or Queen Moira.
Flemeth Stole All Of My Elfroot
I’m Orlesian And Queen Moira Kicked My Ass. Holy Shit I’m DTF. (Not sung in French.)
Hine Ma Tov, but in Elven.
I’m A Noble Woman and I Asked A Weaver To Make Me Fine Cloth (it was a metaphor for lesbian sex.)
I’m Getting Hanged In The Morning (Because I Killed A Chevalier.) #NoRegrets. (Credit to @biotic-raptor-lady)
King Maric is The Best King Ever.
Shemlen Nobles Are Treacherous, Even If You Share Their Beds. (In French.)
I Picked Berries In The Woods with a Boy But We Got Chased By A Bear (It was a metaphor for sex and getting knocked up afterwards.)
A Song That Seems Like It’s About How Brave a Woman Warrior is (But is usually interpreted as being about Queen Rowan, so probably not a great song to sing when her husband is getting married to another woman.)
Fereldan City Elf Song About How My Farm Went Barren and My House Burned Down (My farm and house are a metaphor for the Dales being stolen..)
I Had Sex With An Apostate Woman Who May Or May Not Have Been Flemeth. She Was Into Some Kinky Shit.
The Soldier And The Seawolf.
I Cheated, So My Girlfriend Is Literally Murdering Me
I need to think of more though, cuz I don’t think this is enough.
The sun shone through the open curtains, bouncing its rays across Drake’s face. With a loud yawn he opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. He stretched out his limbs and heard a noise followed by something pulling him closer. He looked down examined the small figure on his lower torso with a smile.
Nic’s chest rose and fell steadily as her lips parted in deep sleep. The sun threw a glow over her body and Drake rose up slowly, not to wake her. Carefully, he eased her neck against the ripped pillow. She sighed and tangled her legs with his. Drake touched her face softly, mesmerized by her beauty.
After pecking her lips, he kissed down her body and spread her legs. Licking her clit lightly, she sighed. He tilted her lower body up slightly and sucked her clit into his mouth. Nic stirred and moaned. Drake flicked and licked his tongue all over her and pressed his tongue against her damp slit. Nic finally opened her eyes and was met with his hungry hazel ones.
“Did you not get enough pretty boy?” She laughed.
Drake growled and yanked her body towards him burying his tongue deep inside her. Her back arched up to the sky and she gripped his head.
“Drake.” She whimpered. He worked his fingers into her feeling her tighten around them quickly. He looked up at her and smirked.
She cried out pulling his curls. And Drake gripped her thighs until he swallowed every last drop. He was becoming addicted to her, and quickly.
He kissed up her body and wrapped his arms tight around her. Nic’s small fingers drew circles on his chest.
“That was amazing.” Nic murmured.
“Well, you know.” He said in a cocky tone. He flipped her over and settled between her legs. She rolled her eyes, but pulled him closer.
“You think you can handle round two?”
Nic giggled at him and pushed him off.
“Don’t go getting sprung pretty boy."
He released her and watched her contently as her naked body eased off the bed. Laughing as a quiet string of curse words left her mouth. When she made it to her bathroom door she turned around. Drake looked at her waiting for her to speak.
She lifted her hand and made a beckoning motion with her index finger before walking off.
Nic groaned softly as her back pressed firmly against the wet glass. His hands grabbed her tightly as the water ran down his back.
"Shit baby…” She panted through the fog.
“You like this shit Nic?” She nodded holding his back. He pulled out slowly and let himself rest against her heaving belly. She made a noise of protest and squirmed.
“I want to hear you beg for it.” He said biting her neck, sending shivers throughout her body. She arched an eyebrow at him and reached down, taking him into her hand. Drake grabbed her hand and pressed it into the cold tiles. Giving her a look.
“I knew you would try to assert your male dominance pretty boy.” She tried to sound nonchalant. She wanted him inside her, desperately. But she wasn’t going to tell him. Where’s the fun in that?
Drake chuckled at her and unwrapped her legs from his waist.
“Look, I was just-” She broke off mid-laugh.
“Oh my God!” She screamed.
“You were just what?” Drake spoke smugly from between her legs. Fingers curled inside her. A tremor raked through her and Nic struggled to find her balance. She gripped his curls and locked her thighs around his neck.
“You were just what!?” He smacked her butt before squeezing it roughly.
“I was just playing Papi!”
“Tell me what I want to hear.” Nic bit her lip and leaned against the wall. Drake hefted her light body up and moved away from the wall. Nic called out and held on to his head, hoping to relieve some of the pressure as he worked her over relentlessly.
Drake locked an arm around her waist and reached up to grab her wrists. He held them up and Nic began to writhe even more than before. Her ankles curled together between his shoulder blades. Drake looked up to her and pressed his wet lips to her already swollen clit. She also looked down to him and said what he wanted to hear.
“Drake, fuck me. Please.” In short panted breaths.
He dropped her back into his arms and inserted himself back into her swiftly.
“Right there! Please.” She begged bucking her hips quickly. He smirked while he did as asked.
The back of her thigh moved against the wall as he buried himself inside her deeper. His muscles bunched up over and over as she scratched him due to the pressure.