guys i cannot listen to the Pitch Perfect pool mashup with Just The Way You Are and Just A Dream without getting all these feels for Bechloe because its like they’re singing to eachother please send help this fandom is making me feel so feely
I wrote and re-wrote this sooo many times before I finally decided to just fucking answer the question. (Sorry to all of my irl friends whom I haven’t even brought this up to and for the long response you’re about to get)
I always believed I was straight. But, I mean when I was a kid, I was very conservative and reserved and I didn’t talk much about boys or crushes or anything all that much. When I was really young all of my friends were guys and when I got older suddenly I only had girl friends. Any type of advance (friendly or romantic) from a guy I would get would immediately be shut down. I thought it was just because I didn’t appreciate the way that guys would often approach me. That may have been at least a half-truth as I did end up being friends with a lot of guys in more recent years, but I still prefer a formal greeting from a guy than to be hit on or something (I think everyone feels this way???)
Anyway, I’ve never been particularly “girly”—which in absolutely no way means that a girl is necessarily gay, by the way—and I always worried about what people might assume about me because of that. I just was never really into dresses or make-up or doing anything that adhered to the stereotypical female gender rolls and it made me worry that people wouldn’t like me or that they would think I was gay when I was so convinced that I wasn’t. I also have never been in a relationship so yay, another thing to put on the board.
My darling brother worsened things for me. He’s married to a woman who has two daughters close in age with me. The oldest is only a year younger than me and we’re pretty close. I’m a very touchy-feely person if the other person is receptive to that kind of thing and my step-niece is the same. She loved to just hang on me and stuff and I didn’t mind because as closed-off as I seem on the outside, I like being hugged and stuff. Yeah, so from how close we were, the way that I dressed, the fact that I’d never had a boyfriend (still have not); my amazing brother called up my dad and said that he thought I was gay. Love him, but I will never ever forgive him for saying something like that.
Now, to more recent times… (that happened about two years ago). I was on Tumblr in about November and I kept seeing that one gif of Chloe (B Snow) walking in on Beca (AK) in the shower. At first I had no fucking clue what it was from and I was confused because I was like “Why is Brittany creeping up on someone in the shower? What the fuck is this?” Eventually I figured out it was from Pitch Perfect. I’d already formed a pretty lame opinion that PP would be terrible because it’s about singing and I just didn’t think it was worth the time. But, after my dashboard was completely swamped with PP gifs and whatnot, I decided to give the movie a shot— and it changed my life.
Another thing I guess I had been weird about was calling other female attractive. It, actually took me until high school to be okay with calling other girls attractive because for whatever fucking reason I thought it wouldn’t be okay. Then, after joining Tumblr (and ultimately watching Pitch Perfect), I realized that it really doesn’t matter. “You can be straight and find other girls attractive,” I kept telling myself. And I still found guys attractive, too, so it’s not like I was lying to myself. Right?
Wrong. I had a conversation with my best friend one day about how I was always way more sympathetic to women and felt much more emotionally connected to them. I tried to pass it off as some kind of bi-romanticism where I was romantically attracted to both men and women and still be straight. But, that wasn’t right either.
Finally, about two weeks ago, I had a bit of an identity crisis in the middle of one of my classes (I’m in college) and I sat down with my friend again and we talked about it. I’m still physically/sexually attracted to men, but I’m also physically attracted to women. I’m not sure if the sexual part is there, too, but I suppose at this point it’s a possibility. I’ve kind of settled with the idea of being pansexual (Not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity) because while I feel like I’m probably not just attracted to women or men exclusively and I’m okay with whomever comes my way.
So yeah, I suppose that’s my answer. It’s taken me way too ridiculously long to come up with the answer for myself, but I want to really fucking thank the Pitch Perfect fandom because I honestly don’t think I would have gotten away from my denial (which was still present even a month ago) without them. Thank you.
And thank you, anon, for asking this question. I am so relieved right now I don’t even know how to say it.
hi guys! i’m finally off post limit! i just wanna say that i’m like in love with this fandom especially the people in the lady jammers fb group YOURE ALL WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND I LOVE YOU ASIDFHA;SIDFHASODFAJDIOFAHSDFIOADFKS;LM
I can't tell if the fandom is actually fighting right now, or if everyone else has just gotten to that really close "we can pretend to fight and say hurtful things and it'll all be fine" stage and I didn't know about it.