lady go go

Top Ten Shakespeare Women Who Will Stab You

This is a list that clearly need to be made.

  1. Tamora: If you’re looking for people to fuck with, please look elsewhere because Tamora will come for you, your life, your whole family, and your honor and leave all if it dead and bleeding in a ditch. Don’t try. 
  2. Lady Macbeth: While she prefers to keep her hands clean she’s not above getting a little blood on them and she’s as ambitious as she is ruthless. Not someone you should mess around with. 
  3. Marguerite d’Anjou: Another warrior queen, she’ll only kill you if you have Yorkist leanings, but if you do have Yorkist leanings than you had better learn some prayers, and quickly. 
  4. Jeanne d’Arc: French women just do it better, what can I say. But in any case, she’s holy, but that doesn’t mean she can’t pick up a sword when she needs. 
  5. Katherina Minola: Has she ever actually stabbed anyone in context? No. Would she, given the chance? Hell yes. 
  6. Porcia Catonis: She isn’t outright violent but she’s definitely more than capable of stabbing someone. I mean she killed herself by swallowing coals. Anyone who swallows coals is not someone you take lightly. 
  7. Hippolyta: She’s not just a warrior, she’s the queen of them, although admittedly she seems to have given up stabbing as a casual hobby since her marriage. 
  8. Beatrice: Would not only stab you, she would eat your heart in the marketplace. Especially if you mess with her cousin. 
  9. Cleopatra: Warrior queen? You bet. Capable? Absolutely. But also not exactly the sort to go around stabbing for funsies. She’d rather just chill with her boyfriend. Don’t mess with her and she’ll leave you be. 
  10. Juliet: Probably doesn’t seem like she’d make the list, since she’s 13 and pretty gentle-hearted, but consider: She stabs herself. At 13 this girl has enough willpower and raw strength to fatally stab herself in the chest. That’s not an easy feat. Brutus found it difficult and he was a fully trained Roman soldier and this girl does it when she’s 13 years old?? Imagine what she could have done when she grew up. Think of that, and tremble. 

Dear D&Diary,

Today I had the revelation that my half orc has 30ft speed, but because she’s a monk, her unarmored movement is +10ft at Level 3. Using the ki feature Breath of the Wind, she can dash as a bonus action meaning she can go 80ft in a turn.

If anyone cast Haste on my dear sweet Marfu, she would go 160 in six seconds. 

At her most perfect Level 20 self’s unarmored movement of +30, she could go a max 120ft in a turn, or 240ft hasted. With 20 ki points to spend that could mean a solid two minutes of going almost 30 miles per hour and I think that’s beautiful.

I SWEAR if y’all don’t start letting the stranger things kids enjoy their childhood and let them make mistakes and learn from them and have fun and be successful and live their best lives I’m going to RIOT 

im gonna name my daughter “the babadook” and everyone’s gonna call her babs and every time she meets someone new they’ll be like “babs, that’s cute, is that short for barbara?” and she’ll have to look them in the eye and say “no it’s short for ‘the babadook’”